(00:02) how did he reach out to you on email but i was in the middle of baiting the kids and um jaya had just peed on the floor and so i just sent you his email so that you could send like an actual professional sounding thing greetings earthlings welcome boys and babes it’s the magic hour a place where we navigate through life’s peaks and valleys with all the vulnerability and shamelessness we can muster with the help of world-class guests from all walks of life we uncover new truths and valuable tools for manifesting our

(00:39) highest potential i’m your host mercedes terrell along with my partner in shine jade bryce hey you guys i am in the middle of trying to choose from some of the sweetest reviews we’ve received recently and it’s so hard to choose which one to read because they’re all just so great but i’m gonna go with ain’t nothing nice wrote jaden mercedes provide great content for those of us exploring this existence for bigger truths and guidance towards light they have wonderful guests their first guest was paul selig and they meet their

(01:10) guests with vulnerability and compassion i have thoroughly enjoyed listening to these two inspiring women bring up topics that i care about i love that thank you guys for sending that in and you guys just give us so much hope when you send these in and especially when you give us a positive rating um seeing you subscribe of course that is exactly what tells the podcast app to populate our show at the top of their list of suggested shows and it also helps to influence potential guests who want to come on the show so

(01:44) we’re super grateful you’re taking the time to show us that love and so thank you in advance for that amazing review you’re going to write and for rating and subscribing um to the show and by the way you can do all of that right now while you’re still listening yes i feel like we took a really long time to do that um i think because i i’m reading it on here um do you want to try it start over and i’ll try i’ll do a better job okay but we only have on the transition so maybe we should just i know i just

(02:15) know that we’re we’re not going to end up using that intro because it was so there was like so many gaps um greetings earthlings welcome boys and babes it’s the magic hour a place where we navigate through life’s peaks and valleys with all the vulnerability and shamelessness we can muster with the help of world-class guests from all walks of life we uncover new truths and valuable tools for manifesting our highest potential i’m your host mercedes terrell along with my partner in shine jade brice hey you guys i am in the

(02:47) middle of trying to choose from some of the sweetest reviews that we’ve recently received from you guys and it’s so hard because they’re all so great but i am going to read one from eight nothing nice it says jaden mercedes provide great content for those of us exploring this existence for bigger truce and guidance towards light they have wonderful guests their first guest was paul selleck and they meet their guests with vulnerability and compassion i have thoroughly enjoyed listening to these two inspiring women bring up topics that

(03:14) i care about thank you so much for those words ain’t nothing nice um it not only fills us with love but it also gives our show a chance to be heard by more people so thank you so much yeah exactly and when you guys give us those positive ratings reviews and um subscribe to the show it tells the podcast app to populate our show at the top of their lists so you know that’s what goes along with all the suggested shows and lets our show be seen so other people can also listen in and it also helps to influence potential guests who

(03:46) want to come on the show so we are so grateful for you taking the time to show us that love so thank you in advance um and by the way you can rate and review and subscribe right now while you’re listening still just saying yeah all right you guys we’ve got a really interesting show in store for you today our guest is the husband of london angel winters whom we interviewed in episode number 27 which has become famous for her advice to relax your tongue yeah that’s probably the simplest yet most valuable piece of advice that

(04:20) has literally changed my life um not to mention my sex life i have people come up to me all the time they literally will come up and say relax your tongue it’s super cool how simple and effective doing that is well i know today’s guest is going to have a way to compound that tip into something even more incredible so let’s introduce him shall we yes author to two books the awakened woman’s guide to everlasting love and the art of energetic agility both co-written with his wife london angel winters today’s

(04:53) guest is a wealth of knowledge and experience on all things surrounding that oh so illusory word intimacy a coach to both men and women on how to reawaken their power both masculine and feminine and to lead their lives from an empowered place of using both energies consciously he leads high-end retreats with his partner london including their signature retreat the yoga of intimacy and together they help others deepen their relationships overcome the challenges of long-term commitment and learn how to grow spiritually and

(05:24) sexually with their partner fellas and ladies listening this guy is the ultimate wingman if we’re able to soak up just an ounce of knowledge from speaking with him today i know we’ll all be better off in attracting and sustaining juicy love sex and passion in our lives please welcome justin patrick pierce to the magic hour hi mercedes hi justin thank you for having me thanks for being here excited for you to be here it’s my pleasure so real quick before we jump in i just want to double check that your zoom

(05:57) uh microphone is set up so on the bottom left there’s like a little mute thing and then next it’s a little arrow just make sure you have um the headphone output correct in the whatever you’re using as your microphone for your probably your headphones as well yeah can you not hear me no i hear you good but sometimes it’s the wrong one selected and then it comes across not as clear as you probably wanted to got it all set sweet awesome all right so i’d like to get some of the words and terms that you use that may not be you

(06:31) know quote mainstream defined for our listeners before we get too deep into this interview so could you start off by explaining a few of those for us let’s start with energetic agility energetic agility is a term that london and i have created after spending a decade in the conversation around the masculine and feminine so anyone who studies sacred sexuality and even any of the other traditions that have influenced sacred sexuality like tantrism is a key one you’ll hear about the masculine feminine talked about a lot and they have they

(07:08) mean certain things to these traditions and when we start to learn what they mean what we’re seeing in our culture today is that women are embodying these qualities just as naturally and just as well as men have for the last several thousand years in our traditions so things like sciences um like certain skills that are being developed being a lawyer being a doctor these used to be thought of as exclusively masculine traits that’s no longer the case in our current culture we’re seeing women all over the

(07:45) country graduating high school more than that scoring better on tests more than that more women are graduating college across the country right now than men more women are becoming lawyers mormon becoming doctors so what london and i started to observe in our culture and inside of our own dynamic is that it isn’t necessarily true that men should just be masculine and women should just be feminine and yet there’s this incredible technology that is polarity that when men embody one end of the pole and women embody the

(08:22) other there’s a magnetism and an intimacy you can create that is unlike anything else so we lived inside of this very dogmatic container that the tradition said where i had to be masculine she had to be feminine we followed that to the t for years and at a certain point we began to say but is this really the full spectrum of who i am this is really the depth of me as a human being and we began to challenge the status quo we began to challenge what even our teachers were telling us and on our own we discovered a new formula and that’s

(08:57) energetic agility where we could bring our full selves to the relationship and how could we do that in a conscious way that was really serving the dynamic while she could still pursue her purpose in the world i could still find my artistry and creativity and expressive side and we could co-exist without losing polarity in the relationship very cool so what i’m hearing is when we think of even even the term sexual polarity is definitely not mainstream yet unfortunately but if we can understand the differences in

(09:36) masculine and feminine energies and be able to understand how we can step in and out of those we can do that in relationship in order to create this this chemistry and sexual energy between the two people and that is energetic agility am i getting that right okay exactly so when we work with couples people come from all over the world to work with us on our weekends and we will train men and women with the essentials that they would need to know to begin living and experiencing it right away but energetic agility is learning how do

(10:13) i transition in my day-to-day life from work mode to mother mode to father mode to intimacy with my partner how can a man relate to his infant child and be the caretaker nurturer for the day while the woman goes off and pursues the purpose for the day and vice versa we get once we understand polarity we get to design our lifestyles around it and when we do it intentionally we no longer start to fall into that trap of neutrality when our partner starts feeling just like a roommate and we wonder where the sexual spark went to

(10:50) that’s really the pitfall of long-term relationships that we work with most exclusively yeah and that’s something we’re going to get into more because i know you have some really important to say stuff to say around the alpha omega um idea and when we end up you know business partners or something like that and we’re always in alpha mode together and it doesn’t become it’s not very sexy after a while but before i get into that i want to continue with kind of just defining some of these terms i know

(11:17) you’re going to use them and i want everyone to be speaking the same language as they listen so can you define what an awakened woman or man is and can a man be awakened the same way awakened is a tricky word yeah um it can mean so many different things but at the same time if we study the traditions it really points to one which is this idea of enlightenment whether it’s a hindu tradition a buddhist tradition a dallas tradition they all speak of this idea that we can become enlightened or liberated or totally free and they have different

(11:57) ways of getting there and to be fully awakened or fully realized is quite a feat i don’t think many human beings ever experienced that or intended to permanently abide in that state but what we can experience is we can have non-abiding awakenings we can have moments of insight where we experience wow i’m more than just my body or wow i am connected to everything or wow there is something infinitely beyond all of this that i am aware of and have you guys experienced something like this before yourselves absolutely

(12:37) so more and more people are having these experiences and in the work that we teach in the two-body spiritual practice in sacred sexuality you can intentionally create those types of experiences with your intimate partner if you know how to do it similarly to a meditation or a yoga so the two-body practice is a form of a non-postural yoga you can learn and bring into not just the bedroom where that’s where it gets most of its attraction but you can also apply that same principle across your entire lifestyle

(13:11) and you design how your relationship and your purpose and your family life all coincide that they can really exist in harmony without losing attraction to your partner hmm that’s beautiful um so yes then i suppose anyone can be awakened no matter your your sex your gender yes in one word yes um i just know that you you know you guys work so much with the awakened woman the book the idea there so i just wanted to clarify that this is not for women only this is something that we’re all experiencing kind of as a whole as

(13:55) humanity absolutely so the last word i want to just cover and you touched on it a little there is sacred intimacy and maybe you know the sacred sexuality you’re talking to earlier all ties into that as well yeah sacred sexuality has become a term in the west um to identify these kind of spiritual sexual practices that have mostly been invented by the west but influenced by eastern traditions they don’t actually have too much roots in things like um in tantra that a lot of people assume they do they did have certain practices and

(14:39) rights that were based around sex but what you experience as kind of tantra in the west is more correctly known as sacred sexuality as a category i think they now have that category on amazon in their book section if you want to look those up yeah the reason why london and i call our work more so sacred intimacy is because we are just interested in spiritualizing or bringing mindfulness to the bedroom alone it’s not just about sex and the work that we do right what it’s really about is learning how to make your sexuality a part of

(15:14) personal growth learning how to grow spiritually alongside the person you love learning how to do that without letting things like reactivity jealousy fear shame just get in the way of the relationship and slowly deteriorate so this is how once we understand polarity every student of ours becomes empowered with the knowledge to know when things are going on why they’re going wrong and what they need to do to get them back on course yeah that’s beautiful um and i i notice just the word mindfulness when it pertains to intimacy or

(15:54) sexuality um for me it’s like i’m sure at this point you’ve you’ve seen so many people that are you know struggling around intimacy that it’s no new thing to see someone who’s just tapping into mindfulness around um intimacy but to me it’s like an awakening an awakening in itself just to realize that you have been completely mindlessly uh you know being with a partner for all these years this is my own experience i’m projecting here but you know to realize that i have put so little mindfulness towards this

(16:37) part of my life that is such an important part of my joy and you know euphoria and human experience so i’m i love you the work you guys are doing i love both you and london’s whole deal like i listen to all your stuff we read your books we’re huge fans on the show so i’m just super thankful that you brought this stuff into my life because it’s already made a huge change and i haven’t even been to one of your workshops yet so thank you for saying so it means a lot yeah so now that we know those terms

(17:10) how can we go about and implementing them into our life so maybe can we explore how to with the energetic agility like how can we implement that with our partner yeah it’s a great question um let’s start with the most mundane and then we can kind of move more intimate if we want but when we understand these terms alpha and omega that london and i use the the original definitions of these words are kind of defined as the masculine feminine and in tantrism this is defined originally this particular definition of

(17:46) but as many definitions keep in mind but the masculine represents consciousness spaciousness voidness and its role its embodiment is kind of a single-pointed focus a drive forward it’s structured it’s grounded it’s a form of penetrative force is a few ways to abstractly describe this this energy and the feminine is defined as creative energy as white light as radiant light radiance this is why women will adorn themselves in sparker sparkle glitter wear earrings so they shine like light so that shine that radiance is naturally

(18:31) identifying with this kind of feminine side of the scale london and i call it alpha omega because once you understand these principles they go way beyond gender and people and they’re playing a huge role in our lives particularly with the modern woman and the modern woman throughout her day is constantly shifting between alpha and omega an easy way to say it is alpha is work mode i’m here i got a purpose i’m gonna kick some ass and omega is when okay i’m ready to i’m ready to let someone hold me up i’m

(19:07) ready to relax my spine i’m ready to receive consciousness into me i’m ready to be held i’m ready to open so the modern woman really starts to experience this dichotomy between these two parts of herself and by her being liberated in those ways that’s a great thing but men and women are now trying to figure out how do we navigate relationship now that we both have a purpose in the world that you are out there in charge and commanding and playing the structural role and i’m in the world playing those

(19:39) structural roles or trying to and then we get home and we’re butting heads about things we’re wondering where’s the intimacy or we’re just vegging out on the couch neutrally so how do these forces play into our life i’ll give you one example in our day-to-day every so often i have to take the plants out of the house so they could be watered and then bring them back into the house now my woman and i we split that responsibility i carry the plants from inside the house to the outside of the house

(20:11) she waters the plants when the plants are dry and ready to be brought back in the house i carry them back into the house in this example we preserved polarity in our relationship why because i embodied the structural role of moving these heavy objects she provided the omega role of nurturing or caring for bringing sustenance to the plants and then i brought the plants back inside that doesn’t seem like a big deal to a lot of people but if i said hey babe get over here and help me bring these plants outside suddenly she’s an alpha with me and we

(20:50) depolarize our relationship if she says hey babe i need help watering these plants i go into omega and we depolarize the relationship little interactions like this are happening all throughout your day and if we’re not mindful about it we start to feel no longer attracted even irritated and resentful of our partner because of the way that we’re interacting with them so we can take this a few layers deeper but first i’ll stop there and check in with you guys before we go any further yeah and that makes absolute sense and

(21:26) you talk about every instance you have while you’re around your partner on the day-to-day basis especially like my husband and i we work and live in the same house together so there is constant interaction to some degree or another so finding little ways you know and maybe it ends up 50 different little things at the end of the day have built up into whatever the energy is that you’ve allowed in between each other so no absolutely i’m there with you i you you talk about an experience um i’ve heard you talk about before anyway

(21:58) uh when london’s working and you call her you know to you maybe you can speak on that because i think that’s a really powerful instance of how to use this yeah absolutely um so london and i have been together for 10 years we work from home we’re now parents together we have a girl who is one and a half years old we’re best friends we work on the same business together so even being best friends and business partners is like a recipe for disaster for intimate relating just so everyone is aware of it being best friend’s

(22:35) intended partner is potential disaster because it leads to neutrality so how can we bring polarity into the relationship i’ll give you one example that mercedes is speaking to if london’s in the kitchen and i see her and she’s working on something on her computer and she’s in work mode you can tell what work mode looks like right you could tell you’re kicking ass you’re handling things right sometimes i’ll walk into the kitchen and i’ll notice her in that state and i’ll just stop

(23:06) i’ll plant my feet i’ll become really still and i’ll just look at her and i’ll be breathing deeply deeply i’ll relax my body it’s not intimidating or invasive in any way but it’s just grounded presence and i’ll wait for her to notice me she’ll look over and the moment she looks at me i’ll say get over here and you just notice in that moment she just kind of like shakes her head and it’s like what and then she’s like oh i see what he’s doing he’s offering me something

(23:39) now she could ignore that and blow that off and be like get away i’m busy and keep working but that would destroy that would destroy our opportunity to deepen our relation so instead she recognizes the invitation she goes okay and she’ll relax her body kind of gently saunter over to me i’ll wrap my arm around her lower back i’ll pull her in i’ll take a couple of breaths with her against my belly and then she’ll kind of open up you can just start to feel she wants more of me and then i’ll just whisper in

(24:13) her ear and i’ll say get back to work and then i’ll gently push her back and then now she’s sad that she has to go back to work but then i’ll just leave the space and that’s a way that we can intentionally bring polarity back into our relationship in the most small ways and imagine you do that three times a day with your partner by the time you get into the bed at night there’s a little fire still burning there’s a pilot light between the two of you that you could turn up if you want to make love

(24:47) but imagine not doing that and she’s hardened in work mode all day and i’m hardened in work mode and by the end of the day we’re just exhausted we have no energy to give one another it rarely leads to passionate lovemaking at the end of the day so by doing these little things and knowing how to incorporate them and really create authentic desire in our partner is all part of this process and i tell my students always frequency is key even if it’s just a little moment a little blip i want to give you guys one

(25:22) example this is my favorite example ever i’m driving in the car with london and the windows are down and it’s a little chilly out but you know i’m running a little hotter than her so i need a little cool air and she’s just over there starting to get a bit cold and i see her kind of like you know bundle herself up and and start to get cold but she doesn’t say anything so i don’t really make it mean much now in this moment london has two options she can feel the windows down it’s irritating her

(25:53) so she could say babe roll up the windows i’m cold that’s option one or what she did she looked at me and she goes babe i’m cold that was it those two options are the difference between preserving polarity in relationship or destroying it because if she said babe roll up the window she’s an alpha because our alpha is the structure commands is in charge see that so it’s the same exact moment same effects experience and it’s just slightly different so if she said babe roll the window and then i go okay and i rolled up the

(26:40) window you can feel how that relationship deteriorates but when she goes babe i’m cold and i look over and i go wow she is cold and i get to roll up the window of my own choosing in service of her polarities preserved she stayed in omega because she did not command all she did was express what she was feeling and show me how she was feeling i love that it’s beautiful but what comes up for me is a couple things firstly is it a matter of trust that you have to have with your partner that they will follow through with

(27:16) an outcome that is in your favor is it about surrendering the outcome um when you’re consciously choosing which polarity to step into in that mode yeah it’s both simultaneously first of all surrender i’m glad you brought that up surrender is a big word in our work but it absolutely does not mean giving up there is no giving up in this practice in this practice if you give up that’s called collapse you’re emotionally collapsed you’ve withdrawn or you’ve erupted you’re not actually in

(27:50) relationship anymore but when we talk about surrender surrender means to allow him to see the truth of your heart if the truth of your heart is sadness you allow that sadness to be seen if it’s rage you let the rage be seen whatever is the truth of your heart the reflection of his unconsciousness in that moment you allow it to be seen is trust required absolutely she can only surrender as much as she trusts her partner if trust is not present she shouldn’t be opening to that partner in the first place but it’s paradoxical because if she

(28:30) waits until someone who’s perfectly trustable before she’s willing to open she’ll never open because perfect trust doesn’t exist her demand for trust is infinite is infinite her demand of consciousness so we train men how do you embody the full depth of your grounded consciousness within integrity in your truth how do you hold her in that and all for that and when you do you watch her open to you authentically she opens intimately in a way that you can’t pay for or she can’t fake it can’t

(29:08) be faked because she’s opening from the center of her body deep inside of her body her heart authentically opens and when a man experiences a woman authentically opening to him it can’t be faked ever again he knows what that is to have a woman authentically surrender to him and that’s where peop that’s where people’s lives change when they do this work yeah i can see that they’re in my arms [Laughter] yeah um and it is so beautiful to have that idea in our heads and i think that’s something we all hope to reach

(29:49) for or we will after listening to this episode anyway um but the other thing that come up for me was still in line with needing to trust somebody and um surrendering and where that gets taken to another extreme is you know we talk about narcissism we talk about someone who uses that as a way to take advantage of someone and then the other you know the the person playing the omega in that situation might end up a victim or playing the victim role or falling into the victim role if that’s a pattern that they’ve got going on in their life and

(30:28) i’m just wondering how we navigate all that you’re absolutely correct that’s that’s a very real thing that happens often to people i’m not an expert in psychology or therapy so there’s a certain degree of readiness that a couple or an individual brings to the work that they do in the yoga of intimacy they’re people committed to spiritual growth or people who are honest with themselves or people who’ve done enough work on themselves to really be willing to get honest feedback and be able to

(31:07) take and digest and adapt to that feedback moment to moment and we work with men and women who are giving it their best and they’re still failing constantly trust is being lost left and right emotions are coming in boundaries are being broken and these are the most dedicated conscious loving people we can encounter that are attracted to this work for people who are well not interested or ready for growth or wanting feedback or wanting to be trusted or wanting to have this kind of lifestyle there’s other modalities that would be

(31:46) more appropriate for them first there might be some things they would need to work out with with a therapist or in other areas um so when it comes to dealing with all of these sorts of psychological or emotional issues this modality is not a therapy and it’s not a cure it’s a yoga so it’s like if you go to a yoga class and you have a broken leg maybe you shouldn’t be doing yoga at that time and there’s people who come to us and they’ve had traumas they’d have real things you work with very serious

(32:21) um instances and we will tell them honestly you’re not ready for this yet you need to do some healing first you need to heal that leg and when that part of you is healed and strong you can come and experience something at this depth so it does require both partners to be committed to growth to really be um qualified to start loving at this depth and there are barriers to entry someone being a narcissist or toxic or abusive or and unwilling to kind of see the impact they’re having on others that’s a huge barrier to entry

(32:56) and i think too like if you’re um [Music] if you’re the awakened woman and you’re trying to like bring your man into this consciousness or be his um i think you call it the northern compass is what you call it in the book um and you’re trying to be that omega and say i’m cold and you’re like having to be open to him not meeting your new needs and you being let down and not hurting then maybe staying in that place like you said um and showing him either you’re being vulnerable and showing him either

(33:31) your sadness or your rage so that he can be invited to meet you there yes well the practice is to learn at what volume does a man need a woman to express her emotions to actually wake up right and it turns out it needs to be pretty damn loud yeah my teacher always used to say men are deaf dumb and blind when it comes to intimacy and it needs to be at a volume 10 for him to really understand the image it really spelled out and it’s only made more difficult for him because of the time we’re living in our

(34:08) culture today because women are absolutely no longer helpless in any regard so today a woman says i’m cold he’s gonna be like yeah so roll up the window you got it right right you you can handle yourself you can handle yourself and you can women can absolutely hand themselves but the question is when does toughening up and putting on your bootstraps and going out to the world become no longer the way you want to live your romantic relationship now you could be that way with other people it’s probably appropriate to be

(34:43) that way with other people we shouldn’t go around and you know play helpless to just anyone it’s going to have an effect and probably an effect we don’t necessarily want but when we consciously do this with the person we trust and we love it’s a completely different story and when we’re learning it we need to exaggerate these skills we need to go deep into those asanas and exaggerate them so we really move it through our nervous system because how many times have we been conditioned not to be

(35:14) helpless or not to appear this way or not to express ourselves or not to express anger don’t let anyone see you sad don’t be weak don’t be vulnerable how often has this been reinforced our nervous systems until our hearts have calloused over and we take people in a weekend and we tear your heart wide open and we splay you wide open but that takes a tremendous amount of skill and effort to create that experience for a human being very difficult for us to do that on our own but the way we do the yoga is you

(35:46) read the book you get a sense of it you come to intensive you experience it and then just like a yoga weekend it’s up to you to keep those channels and pathways open allow yourself to continue to express continue to emote continue to be seen to be vulnerable and you know the one thing i say is like as we get deeper into this we start to recognize there’s nothing cool about this right there is nothing you’re not going to be the coolest person when you start doing this because this is the opposite of cool

(36:18) cool is a front cool is a hardness it’s a it’s an edge it’s a something that’s like ah that’s cool but it is not soft and vulnerable and intimate so here we’re learning how do we rekindle that intimacy when it’s something we really want in our lives or want back in our lives yeah and i want to ask you about walking men into this work since i think in our culture it’s men are kind of instructed against showing up for this type of work but before we do that um just to add on to what you’re saying

(36:52) there i wanted to bring up the ideas around women feeling fearful of looking or sounding crazy by being very dramatic with their responses and i think that that’s you know how all the women i speak to feel like i’m gonna look crazy if i’m over dramatic so i just don’t know too much i’m too much it’s a big phrase i’m too much um so that’s a piece of it and then the other piece that seems to compound that is that chivalry i wouldn’t say chivalry is dead but chivalry is definitely sick it’s not

(37:34) doing it’s not doing so great these days so so figuring out you know those pieces of our culture where we’re we’re running these stories that say that if we quote unquote overreact to something then we’re going to be looked at like we’re crazy or hormonal with it which is should be in my opinion allowed personally because we are hormonal people we do have to go through these phases um but i think that those are just really to add on to your point because it’s it’s just kind of um i think compounding into what you just

(38:06) said there and this is messy and so and also to add under the point of it not being cool yeah you’re not going to come into anything new to you and and be good at it right away you know that’s just your that controlling nature which i’m famous for wanting to be good at something off the bat but it’s and this process never stops yeah it’s not like you ever master this it’s a continual thing because we’re ever changing and so i just want i guess i wanted to say out loud that if you’re running any of these stories

(38:42) that are no longer serving you it’s okay to to come clean with that and rewrite it as all and i think your workshops are a good place to start your books yeah i mean at our workshops we have droves of men who are totally committed to becoming more conscious more purposeful living in integrity and having an oracle goddess as their woman yeah so so i’m surrounded by men who are built this way and are excited to be this way and i know there’s a lot of men out there in the world who aren’t interested in this and that’s okay right

(39:17) but there are a lot of men who are and it’s pretty awesome to be in spaces with groups of these men it really is and what’s in it for him look every man is going to feel at times if not often that his woman is too much it’s a narrative that men and women have co-created for one another london and i in our relationship very adamantly sought to completely obliterate that paradigm from our relationship and we did we did we did i can say that confidently does that mean i don’t get overwhelmed at certain times

(40:02) no of course they get overwhelmed and course fights break out and all of that but the way we look at what’s happening has transformed entirely and this is how it starts when you start doing the workshop you start to discover that her authentic emotions are are reflecting a certain kind of truth in the moment whether or not you’re trustable in a moment is one example can she trust you i’m losing trust in you right now why well then if she answers the question and gets it wrong he’s going to be like

(40:33) oh well he can argue with your why but he can’t argue with the truth of your heart he can never argue with what you’re feeling he can argue with why you’re feeling it all day and he will but a man cannot argue with the fact that you’re feeling what you’re feeling that is irrefutable i’m feeling this i’m losing trust why are you losing trust i’m losing trust in you right now that is wisdom for that man if he’s serious about becoming more conscious his woman can become an oracle in that

(41:08) process how if a man is willing to consider that every feeling his woman shows him is based in some element of truth every emotion she feels is reflecting truth he first needs to go on faith that that might be the case there’s something true about what she’s feeling now often times being in omega when we’re feeling something particularly feeling something intensely the mind begins to create stories artificial stories and trying to make it mean things it doesn’t necessarily mean it tries to put together this story in a

(41:49) way where now it’s starting to make making up these kind of crazy scenarios to try and help explain what she’s feeling when london used to bring me these types of emotions then tell me the stories that were associated with them i was like this is bananas what do you think happened what do you think is going on and it would it wouldn’t serve the dynamic much it wouldn’t serve her it wouldn’t serve me so what started to happen was she would just start bringing me her authentic emotion in the moment and not put a

(42:20) story on it and she would say i’m feeling this this is what’s going on this is what’s going on this is what’s going on i don’t know why this is what’s going on and she would allow me to be the clarity of consciousness to feel into what is she responding to why is that going on and i’ll say babe are you worried about this thing no it’s not that babe are you worried about this thing or maybe it’s that is it because of x y and z yes that’s it and that’s the polarity between omega

(42:51) and alpha right there is she becomes the truth of the emotion what the heart is saying and he becomes the clarity of consciousness for them what he starts to realize is when he welcomes his woman’s emotion and neither partner attaches a story to it and just allows it to see what is this referencing to his woman will become an oracle for him she will tell him what’s going on watch out for this this doesn’t feel right she literally starts to help him become a compass that guides him towards becoming the man he must before he dies

(43:28) oh that seems like first of all the man would have to very much lay down the stories of you know manipulation maybe from his mother or from earlier lovers or from whatever he might be carrying um and it doesn’t have to be specifically manipulation but whatever things that might make him mistrust a woman telling him their feelings in order to say okay well she’s really sure he never tells her what she’s feeling right he provides a safe space he provides the structure to help her get clarity around what it

(44:00) is he has to fully trust her yeah exactly it’s a mutual dance of trust if trust is not part of this operation it’s going to crash and burn and we can’t trust one another absolutely either i i don’t know if it’s the the the alpha you know in me that’s coming up right now that makes me feel like there would be a part of me as a woman who wants to make sure i’m able to be very clear as a solo journey you know um on what the root causes of the root stories that are driving me to react instead of respond in relationship or

(44:45) whatever so is this something that can be a solo journey this this idea of um this type of work that we’re talking about here absolutely this can be a solo journey a one-bodied practice and most of the traditions it is it’s very seldom is spiritual growth a two-body path there’s not many practices that are designed that way so yeah you can absolutely cultivate this alpha and omega relationship within yourself as a matter of fact it’s required for you to grow on this path if you’re completely

(45:19) dependent on someone else being that force in your life you will just continue to be dependent resentful feel not whole not complete unto yourself feel needy all of these things so wholeness is part of the equation we have to first find our own wholeness but once we found our own wholeness and we go i can provide that for myself yeah i can sort my own thoughts and i can handle this and i can handle that and i can handle that and that’s the modern woman what does she need a dude for anymore she doesn’t

(45:49) need him for money she doesn’t need for shelter she doesn’t need food she doesn’t need them for protect for protection she doesn’t need him for intelligence um what is his purpose she doesn’t even need him to get pregnant if she doesn’t want to use a man she can do that artificially now so why is she choosing to be in relationship with a man these days what is he bringing to her and it’s at that point we work with most individuals who’ve done a lot of work on themselves and have cultivated this kind of full

(46:21) spectrum alpha omega but they’re saying this is creating neutrality in my life and i actually want to experience deeper loving i want to experience deeper intimacy i don’t want to be in charge i don’t want to always be holding this alpha pole i want someone i can count on who could be my rock that i could melt into and trust absolutely and when he’s gone unconscious i can show him that and show him my fury and my feelings and i can trust that this is a safe enough environment for me to do that and even if it hurts him he’s going

(46:55) to respond with love consciousness because he knows her reflection is going to make him a better man at the end of the day she’s going to sharpen his sword and then he goes back into the world sharper she goes back into the world full and then they can both pursue their purpose until they return home to recombine regenerate one another rather than continue to fight and deplete one another until the relationship breaks hmm i i i what’s i guess coming up here for me is the idea in psychology that relational relationship trauma

(47:39) can really only be finally healed in relationship so when we talk about what a woman would need from a man or what a man would need from a woman there’s very much i think the the the piece of healing that you can’t do on your own because the foundation is all i think you know we have to do so much of the self-reflecting work and we have to do so much of the solo journey but there is that final piece that has to happen in relationship because we have to be able to surrender and trust another person to heal some of those relationship traumas

(48:14) um i was listening to something teal swan was talking about recently and it she she used an analogy that actually my husband chris didn’t like very much but i really liked it it’s very visual um and it’s about a plastic bag so in relational trauma if you understand the idea of relationship trauma must be healed in relationship then similarly the way that a horse might be afraid of plastic bags because it had a bad experience with plastic bags the only way that it’s going to ever become okay around plastic bags and not get

(48:54) spooked is by finding ways to introduce a plastic bag around it in a much gentler way where it wouldn’t be spooked up to a place where it can be okay and kind of trust that plastic bags aren’t a snake that’s going to bite them or something like this so absolutely yeah i don’t know does that resonate in any of this for you well absolutely um we do work with a lot of individuals who’ve experienced a lot of trauma in the work that we do and they are prepared to kind of engage on the next level and start feeling what

(49:27) how do i face that in relationship in real time and we slow everything down it’s super slow where you can identify immediately where the contraction or closure is coming from where is that wound and we’ll do practices we can have a man sitting in perfect posture with a soft gaze breathing deeply totally still completely present and we can position a woman who’s experienced great trauma 10 feet away from him and but she’s facing him and that’s close enough for her so just being in the presence of a man

(50:04) is enough to trigger that trauma response but she starts to settle down in the moment we’re working with her in this time and we have her look across the room when we say how much do you trust the man that’s across me right now how trustable is he in the way that he’s sitting right now and she might say nine or ten but despite however trustable he feels nine or ten is in the top of the scale she’s still contracted and can’t open so on her end she’s experiencing the moment as a two or a three right in regards to

(50:41) intimately open or connected with this person so while they’re in relationship we begin to coach her in her body somatically how do you begin to breathe deeper what’s going on with your eyes how can you bring movement or softness back to this moment and we’ll dilate each moment to moment to break down exactly where is she getting contracted and getting paused and you do this with a human being enough they’re going to start to become more and more comfortable like the horse and the bags the more they’re exposed and it’s gently

(51:11) tempo is everything when working in the scenario tempo is everything she can start to unwind her body start breathing deeper she can start moving closer to this person and then suddenly the man on the other side is instructed i don’t know to reach his hand out towards her and then her body immediately goes to contraction and she has to freeze and like okay pause and you work with that moment to literally unstick where that we call them kinks and her nervous system are coming from to reestablish trust with the opposite sex

(51:47) so this scenario i’m talking about would happen more in like a private setting this is more of a special case but in the workshop similar scenarios are created but created for individuals who are a little more prepared to engage in the opposite sex than what i just described um and i guess too it’s it’s like one partner choosing to be conscious and working on themselves and knowing their vulnerabilities in love and speaking those when our abilities in love and then that’s how they’re healed is

(52:19) because then when conflict arises they can say my vulnerability my abandonment vulnerability or my betrayal vulnerability is being triggered and it gives a space for that healing because we’re not only choosing to be aware of it but we’re bringing it to our partner to deal with it peacefully and that’s how it’s healed but i’m curious what if this was my situation when we interviewed your wife thankfully it’s not anymore but what if one partner is waking up into this consciousness and they’re becoming an awakened woman or

(52:51) man and their partner is not meeting them there they’re not wanting to be conscious they’re um not making the time for it and they’re um you know for whatever reason trauma stress overworked um what would you say for is there any tips to guide our partners to to want to join us even or yeah these are great questions and questions we get a lot we actually wrote about this in the book the chapter what if my partner isn’t practicing um so there’s two parts that answer the first part is it’s always going to feel like your

(53:31) partner is not loving you perfectly and could be loving you better always no matter how practiced or dedicated we become it’s always going to feel like your partner is failing you in love to fail you know that i’m so glad you said that yes it’s very this is a revelation it is and and there’s psychological reasons for this we we do great um practices and studies to illuminate to people very quickly why this is the case it’s because we’re actually not attracted to unconditional love as much as we’d like

(54:06) to think we are we’re actually attracted to unlove we’re attracted to the way we were denied love by our parents most specifically the way father the way mother denied us love feels like home in our nervous systems this is why we tend when we go out um in the world or in a dating pool or in the club and we’re like hmm that person knows how to deny me love just in the right way where it’s gonna feel erotic passionate hot these are usually the people we have the most polarity with too yeah chemistry because our subconscious is

(54:45) confusing them for home our our nervous system say hey this feels like home i love you and then we meet this person and then it might be good for six months a year or so but then over time it starts to reveal that wow this person refuses me love the same way my mother and or father did that would it be though that if your par if your father didn’t choose you even if your partner is choosing you you keep believing that he’s not the narrative is unique to every individual but the tendency is that even if our

(55:23) partner doesn’t necessarily have these qualities in them or they’re saying i am loving you what are you talking about i love you you will somehow deny the fact that that’s the case or sabotage the relationship to make sure it feels like home again right you will you’re you’re small until you heal it will work like hell to to implement that and from the school that i come from there’s two schools of thought there’s a there’s a harvard hendrix does great work on this front you can find out about him

(55:56) and he takes a psychological approach uh in in the world that i come from the yogic approach is look you don’t have 30 years to heal this thing let’s work with it now how do you what is the wound inside of you that you feel you were denied love the most so if you can imagine what was the one quality from mother or father you that you wanted more than anything um and and it could be unconditional love it could be presence it could be safety touch safety excellent uh what else um god mine was highly around safety and i wove it into

(56:40) intimacy and somehow made that a whole nother thing so those lists go on forever yeah yeah and in the work that we do is we learn to stop waiting for the world or god to give us those things and we start learning how do we give those to our lover and the world yeah we stop waiting and we start giving it as our gift love doesn’t break hearts egos do is what you’re trying that’s so good so before you asked before you paused and asked how we felt you said that um you were going to go deeper did you already go

(57:17) deepers or deeper you you asked about the um if your partner’s not showing up oh yeah okay yeah that’s right yeah so again and some degree it’s always going to feel like your partner’s not showing up enough there can always be more that’s the gift and the curse if both partners can humorously understand that’s the nature of being in love then they can both engage in that and do it humorously and lovingly consciously at least but then there are certain individuals who just simply are not on board with

(57:50) where you’re going in your life and the stage that you’re at and in those cases it’s time to probably reassess the relationship or cut things off and move on um the way that london and i really work is we really believe in relationship and we know it’s hard people come to us and they it maybe takes a little while but eventually they open up and start telling us what’s really driving them crazy and how they’re hurting in relationship and they’re always so surprised to hear that yeah that’s

(58:18) common what you’re feeling right now the suffering you’re experiencing is so common it would blow your mind everyone is struggling with that everyone is hurting around that everyone feels unmet in those ways it is so common so in our culture today we’re in a swipe left swipe swipe right culture it’s just like the minute something off comes up it’s like oh time for a new partner now i would say dangerously so that our culture today is so geared towards just being reactive about it and ditching and

(58:52) moving on the next person you’re never gonna know what deep love is or is about because it’s a painstaking arduous process it’s excruciating yeah to love someone through all of that but that’s the reward is when we stay with it and we fight through all of that we we emerge on the other side stronger every time more in love if we know how to navigate those waters but if we’re not practicing navigating those waters and every time the little blip comes up we swipe um we’re never going to experience love

(59:24) at any great depth ever in our lives we’re never going to get the presents we’re never going to experience devotion we never experience deep polarity with someone we love it’s just not going to happen it’s going to be fling after fling yeah so we always err on the side of is this really time to break is this extreme enough where that’s appropriate or is this you being in a difficult time that you just don’t actually want to work through so we’re constantly giving our students and clients the tools to work through almost

(59:56) anything and if they love each other and trust each other enough to keep going will empower them until they get to the point where they realize very clearly that this is not the relationship for me and then they can move on but they move on knowing it was the right move they have closure and clarity and that’s the most important thing for couples yeah something that’s been resonating with me lately is this idea of striving to always be happy but being okay with never being satisfied because as part of the human condition and why

(1:00:34) we are these progressive beings and have gotten to where we’ve gotten um and pushed ourselves and motivated ourselves to where we are is because we’re never satisfied right if we if we were we would just all be sitting on the couch not doing anything um but doing what you can to create a life that you are happy and excited to wake up for every day and a relationship that you’re ecstatic to be a part of i think that’s that’s the part we can strive for and accomplish and and i’m so glad you

(1:01:04) said out loud because you and london are such gurus on this you know relationship um situation that all of us are trying to navigate you know all humans are trying to navigate and so to hear you say that it’s okay to not feel like you’re ever gonna be a hundred percent satisfied that’s big it’s part it’s part of the ultimate surrender it really is and it’s about it’s about understanding these principles of resonance and polarity enough that you can consciously design your lifestyle and include a

(1:01:42) relationship that really nourishes you and gives you ground beneath your feet and inspires you to give your gift to the world that’s what this is about um so now going back um to the energetic agility and how you said we’d go deeper now we now go ahead and go deeper i wouldn’t even know where to begin my brain is like a wormhole there’s so many avenues to this conversation i can get stuck in these wormholes for a while but i would love to address anything that you guys are specifically interested or wanting to

(1:02:20) know maybe how do we get and stay juicy in the bedroom when it comes to is that an energetic agility topic it absolutely is i mean the modern woman finding her juicy self as london calls it and describes in her book in full detail it’s it’s really about how does she get to own being a badass in the world and be in power and be purposeful and take charge and run the show and earn a life herself and at the end of the day feel like she could melt into somebody’s arms and be loved for her feminine core how many women are

(1:03:05) really would love the dynamic of that lifestyle well the thing is if she just comes home and doesn’t melt the ice wall that she had to put up around her heart and yeoni in order to do all those things she can’t expect her man to do all of that heavy lifting for her london describes it like pushing a stalled car up a hill he needs some some lubrication let’s say and that’s where the um her solo practice is if she wants both of that in her life as london goes into detail with these practices what does it take for her to transition

(1:03:47) from work mode and alpha into omega where she feels full juicy erotic ecstatic inviting wants to be fierce wants to be playful wants to tussle wants to melt wants to cry all of those emotions in her partner’s arms how does she get from one point to the other it takes a tremendous amount of work it’s not going to happen accidentally you can’t just imagine this to happen you really need because your nervous system is adapting to these environments you’re conditioned when you go out in the world to kick ass your nervous

(1:04:25) system is adapting to get hard dense and kick ass so when you go back into intimacy and you want to be open and juicy she comes home and first she has to unwind with a bath maybe she gives herself 20 or 30 minutes in the bath to soak first and for years uh when london would transition from work mode she would do this bath ritualistically and we had a rule that we wouldn’t even talk to each other until the bath happened in order to preserve polarity because if we related while she was in that mode it would neutralize the relationship

(1:04:56) immediately so we prioritized she would get in the bath first start that process and then meet me and then we would go further with different practices letting me for example if you let him drive the car he’s an alpha if the woman’s driving the car she’s in alpha it’s that simple that’s how easy polarity changes in the dynamic so if she’s driving the car and he’s in the passenger seat and they just get out and then start relating to each other and going through life she’s in the

(1:05:26) dominant position until something intentionally comes in to reverse that polarity most people are very unconscious about i am really sensitive to that yeah these energy shifts are tremendous but if we’re not conscious of them they will just deteriorate our relationships so we teach people how to become aware and then exactly what they would need to do to reverse it so in that instance the car instance of who’s driving the car how do you reverse it there we can walk out of the car and the moment we get out of the car i

(1:06:04) stand there and i say get over here [Music] and if i just stand my ground and i let her walk towards me that would be enough reverse the polarity because i gave a command and she followed it’s like tango there needs to be a lead and a follow both people like i’m the lead i’m the lead there’s no dance so when one person takes the lead and the other person follows you can immediately reset that charge it’s interesting how some women hearing that may get turned on and other women may get triggered for sure

(1:06:39) very common if you’ve never had a man do that with an open heart while he’s fully present that can feel very abrasive but to experience a partner you trust with an open heart fully present saying get over here could be wildly heart opening and panty melting yeah i think of um [Music] that handsome guy um james marsden in uh 27 dresses he does that on the boat he says like after he does that whole romantic stint he says get over here and that’s like the end of the movie she runs up and kisses him and

(1:07:15) it’s like i saw that maybe probably a decade ago and it’s that scene stuck with me because to me it was very sexy he yes it was both for me it’s kind of uh it’s a turn on and triggering at the same time but the trigger for me is i’m mostly just worried that the that i would be annoyed like okay i just drove when are you gonna do the thing like justin said like you’re not it happens a lot that happens a lot danger and there’s no is there any soft ways to remind someone well how far are you willing to play for

(1:07:56) polarity is the question so if you walked out of the car and you just kind of floated over to him and you quote unquote accidentally dropped your bag and went and then started to kind of float away does he then pick up your bag and become a hero so this these are some creative ways that you can play with polarity is if you play helpless where he needs to step in and rescue you if your spine becomes soft enough that he has to catch you or you will literally fall you’ve just reversed polarity but how many women are willing to do that i mean

(1:08:37) right that’s why we have a workshop where we practice this stuff adding to learn it but you’re also learning okay justin’s exaggerating right now i’m not actually gonna collapse but in the workshop you might and you’ll see how fun it is and then it’ll liberate something in you around it and then you’ll be able to apply it in real life in a much more authentic way where it’s not as such a character exaggeration but it actually is authentic because you understand what you need to relax in

(1:09:08) your body to go there i love that and is this the same this um you know you see you talked about you know getting juicy as far as staying juicy is it the same 10 years into the relationship not at all the landscape changes tremendously year after year and throwing a baby into the mix changes it even more so having an infant being in the last year and a half of that process um that’s a very serious demand on a couple and i can understand why a lot of couples would stop being intimate with each other the entire year or two years or three

(1:09:47) years or indefinitely after that point because they don’t know how to bring it back you have to fight like hell for your relationship you have to prioritize intimacy if you want intimacy to stay good for decade plus london and i’ve been doing this a long time and we still have to fight for it and we do but when we look at our calendars how much of your calendar is you know marked off for polarity or top intimate time with my partner no usually the calendar is booked with all alpha related tasks so men and women are

(1:10:22) just over cooked in alpha mode and then at the end of the day they go to you know massage parlors or spas or porn websites to find a little bit of shakti to replenish themselves or food or alcohol substances in fact the greatest nourishment we can get is our intimate partner that’s why we’re choosing this relationship for a lot of people is because it provides a source of love flow in our lives that we cannot possibly get anywhere else yeah yeah that makes so much sense do you see that men um men even if they come in with a little

(1:11:05) bit of resistance to the work they quickly get on board because they feel the energetic charge that they’re finally wanting to really be able to step into and own when he sees a woman authentically get turned on and he becomes present his life changes until that time there’s no one who’s going to talk them into this yes like hey man you need to work on your like i was not the kind of guy who would ever go to an intimacy workshop just so this is known when london came to me a decade ago and said hey let’s do this i was

(1:11:40) like that’s ridiculous why would i do this um what all right i guess i’ll go if you pay for my tuition i literally said this because i would i couldn’t possibly imagine right it wasn’t until i got there that i started to feel when i became the man i wanted to become she started to authentically sexually open in a way that no other woman in my life ever opened yeah because i was starting to drop into this place i was starting to feel my balls in a way i never felt them my breath was deepening my presence was razor sharp i was

(1:12:14) getting feedback how to become more sharp i was sharpening myself by consciousness as a blade of consciousness when i felt more purposeful and i knew what i needed to do before i died she was getting turned on by that what so if i am more clear on what i need to do or who i need to become before i die she’s going to be more turned on yeah that’s a revelation that’s a win-win it’s a turn-on but until he experiences it it’s all nonsense until he actually experiences it and then he can’t go back right and we do

(1:12:53) see many people in the older generations like boomers and older who seem to struggle with intimacy um especially men like um you even hear a lot of men say that they would never get massaged you know or or at least massage by another man my dad and my stepdad yeah yeah is this largely tied up in shame stories around expressing sexuality do you think that’s not my area of expertise and i would love to answer your question but i wouldn’t be able to answer it confidently enough in regards to what that demographic is

(1:13:30) psychologically struggling with or what their disposition is um i have maybe more of a sense of my own generation the millennial generation and i tend to work with men who are in 45 years old and up but in terms of men my father’s age um and the baby boomers i i wouldn’t have uh the professional insight to answer that with any integrity i feel like you kind of did by saying that you tend to work with men that are not in that generation because the men that are in that generation are probably very likely not going to want

(1:14:01) to attend something that says intimacy in the title you know but i love that you were confident enough to to answer it that way yeah i feel like that kind of speaks to to what what’s happening there and it is unfortunate you know it is unfortunate that um there’s a whole generation that very many of them might not ever get to experience some of beautiful parts of life and deepening and things that i’m glad that this this generation is opening up yeah it seems like each generation is getting more and more open which is really

(1:14:35) encouraging it’s true as as due to light workers like you and your wife yeah as the generations get younger we’re seeing more of this fluidity between genders and same-sex relationships are more um common and people aren’t so tighter on what it means to um be interested in men and woman to be bi there’s a gender flexibility of the younger generations that’s more prevalent than it’s ever been and that’s that’s a that’s a gift because it’s it’s it’s liberating a generation from dogma

(1:15:10) and and they’re willing to be open-minded and explore hey what is this what is this possible but in kind of a counter to that that’s also super important is if we just don’t have any structures and we say screw all of it then we completely lose an ability to know how we engage one another and it all just becomes neutral and confused that’s why london and i got rid of masculine feminine and said alpha and omega are because i was thinking 10 20 years into the future right now people aren’t going

(1:15:45) to understand alpha omega but generations younger than me are going to get it better than even i can understand it and i wanted to put those milestones forward so that men women understand man or woman you can embody all these alpha qualities and turn on and [ __ ] open your partner you and i i don’t know if we can curse on the show yeah you’re good but and then on the omega pole man or woman you can learn to bring those qualities as a gift to the relationship and turn your partner on this is not gender bound by any means and that’s the

(1:16:15) gift of our generations is liberating these dogmas around it but we can’t be so liberated that it’s just chaos we unders we need to understand the rules so that when we engage we know why certain relationships are being created why they’re destroying why they’re getting better right and consciously be participating creatively artistically be making love out of our lives art out of our relationships yeah uh the idea too of just using the word femininity feminine energy because of the current cultural climate and where you know the

(1:16:51) feminist movement is evolving to it gets a little convoluted with whatever anyone’s idea might be of the word feminine um and i like that the fact that you guys use alpha omega because it gives it more of a like a leader follower vibe which is understandable and i think maybe just i want to put it out there that if anyone’s listening and feels like well i don’t want to be a follower you know i don’t want to be the omega alpha’s the one everybody’s trying to go for that is also part of this cultural construct

(1:17:26) that is really a story that is sick you know it isn’t it isn’t whole um yeah we have a chapter in a book called omega not beta so by no means is omega inferior to alpha now in wolf packs and things like that that’s part of the dialect there they’ve used alpha omega symbols to represent uh represent superiority inferiority that is absolutely not what we’re doing here what alpha omega represents is that that greek alphabet from alpha to omega we’re talking about the full spectrum of what’s possible in embodiment from

(1:18:03) consciousness to pure white light so more correctly stated it’s from alpha to omega and learning how do i embody all of the notes on that keyboard such that i could become an artist of my life my relationships because when you learn to embody certain alpha skills you’re going to be more trustable in the world people are going to want to pay you more money for what you do that’s just a fact of cultivating trustworthy skills and embodiments that make you more trustable cultivating clarity of consciousness as

(1:18:35) a gift for men and women right as we work on omega and we learn to open our hearts become more compassionate become more expressive in what we’re feeling relate to our children in a more empathetic way to care about other human beings on the planet to be creative in our expression it’s all of the omega notes that men and women can learn to play and when we understand that those are the embodiments of what these notes mean we can learn each scale and artistically choose who we want to be in our lives and do we want to be of service to

(1:19:10) others and what would others need from us to feel our gifts come through us and then there’s those people who come through life and they play one note their whole life and they just keep pounding that note and they’re that note and every time you see them they’re just that note you’re like yeah you’re just that note we’re not saying there’s anything wrong with that way some of my best friends in the world are those one note and it’s all an orchestra yeah we all need everybody you can do your one note but

(1:19:36) i’m but what i want people in this world to know is you’re not limited to one note you can become the full spectrum embodiment of all possibility of consciousness to life as a man or woman yeah that’s everyone’s birth right there’s a whole symphony awaiting you um that idea of the feminine energy rising in our culture today and the awakened woman becoming something more common that we’re seeing uh brings up this major turn that we’re all making together against things like [ __ ] shaming

(1:20:16) and i’m wondering if i think you know our trajectory there is pretty obvious we are think are really going to get clear in the next few years here on um shaming people’s sexuality uh and that that is not okay um i wonder how that’s going to translate also onto men and things like boner shame and things like um the ways that we shame men’s sexuality do you have any thoughts on that i would need a specific example in reference to what you’re referring to so with specifically with boner shame i

(1:21:00) mean the idea around men grow up their whole life from a very young age being told don’t you know basically don’t stimulate yourself don’t get hard don’t be in public and show your penis because that the world doesn’t want to see that and you know now we have dick pics the dick pic epidemic where women are very vocally saying like we don’t want to see this we don’t want to see this so in many ways men are being told we don’t want to see your penis put it away it’s ugly it’s not to be

(1:21:31) seen it’s not to be shared but then yet we want it to be rock hard in the bedroom on call every time so there’s you know it seems the very opposite things happening at the same time here sure i understand what you’re saying now um you know when i was younger um i was really intimate and i loved being intimate with a lot of people at one point i had multiple girlfriends i had about a dozen girlfriends at one point in my life and i thought it was great and i thought it was i love being sexual and expressive and all these things and

(1:22:08) having these different relationships um and a lot of them knew also what i was doing at the same time and not all of them did right and at the time my life i thought it was no big deal but then as i started to mature and started to do the work that i do now i really began reflecting and i said man how much suffering i must have caused in these women by offering them my consciousness but then being totally unwilling to fully claim them and i knew i wasn’t going to fully claim them but here i was offering them this

(1:22:40) facade of a possibility of love and and i feel in that and i’m like that’s horrific why have i done that and it took me years to unwind that kind of tendency in me to go out and kind of make eye contact with a woman and polarize her because i knew how there’s a lot of like ego that still was in there early on when i was learning this stuff because you want to flex it right right you got a superpower no one else knows about but i learned very quickly and also through the reflection of london being with me through this and not shutting

(1:23:15) down but showing me through her authentic expression like that’s [ __ ] you can’t do that to me and you can’t do that to them because it’s destructive and i was willing to look at that and i was like that is destructive that’s horrible to go out and be intimate or polarizing the people when you have no intention of diving any deeper with them and that brings us to our current climate in the world is my teachers you know had certain traditional ideas most traditional and some of them i adopted and one of them

(1:23:54) that i did adopt was their relationship around how we should engage intimately and how we should be mindful about it and in today’s culture a man goes on his computer and he sees thousands of images of very sexy women and very sexy outfits all the time and he has a family and a woman at home and he can’t help even if he’s not looking for them being bombarded by this imagery and it absolutely is turning him on and turning his attention away from his partner and when those images go out and impact his life what

(1:24:31) impact is that having on his wife who might have just had a baby and just trying to like get her body back and it couldn’t even imagine being looking like that like what impact are we creating by kind of liberating ourselves sexually now i’m not saying we should stop this trend and you know all wear parkas or anything like that or burkas or anything that’s that’s not it but i would challenge people to begin evaluating is this really a gift that i’m bringing into the world when i liberate my sexual out my

(1:25:07) sexuality for others is this really serving the world and the greater good of the world or is it hurting others and i think we’re going to need a big reality check at some point in our generation’s time around what that means that’s not going to be for everybody i understand pop culture’s pop culture but this has been my discovery is that we can very easily wreck relationships and destroy others by flaunting our sexuality recklessly and i really believe that deep polarity should be intentionally as best as possible

(1:25:48) reserved for the person you really do want to go there with yeah that really strikes home for me because i just posted today um that you know i my whole point on my social media is to bring light to matters of the heart and to to um encourage people to um you know listen to the show and all that we’re talking about and to to um go deep within and sit with their feelings and all these things that i want to talk about um that i try to bring up on my um social media but when i do those videos and you know even just like in a sports bra

(1:26:28) like what i have on now it’s still a good amount of skin but even in just this or if it’s in a flannel or something like that there’s not a lot of views so then no one really hears the message but if i do it in a you know lingerie or a bikini or something because there’s some humor to the message that i’m trying to also get people engaged in then there’s quadruple the amount and so there’s this like feeling of okay well my following is 94 men and it the platform started in mixed martial arts and so

(1:27:01) maybe i can be a bridge and join the two where men who um like to see a woman in that type of setting and that type of outfit are now hearing an enlightening message where they may have not heard it otherwise and so there’s this like pressure where i feel like okay do i tone down my sexuality so that my uh message is taken more seriously or do i up my sexuality so that people hear the message and so i’m at a constant war between the two absolutely the fact that you’re conscious of it and intentionally

(1:27:32) navigating that terrain is the most we could ask of any of ourselves thank you for doing great work and thank you for saying that we should not we should not shame radiance the human body is beautiful i’m a trained artist so art is visual arts the body being beautiful and people look at radiance we are drawn to that which is radiant whether you’re a star on a rock stage or a star you know by the way that you adorn yourself for the shape of your body that is omega energy and it shouldn’t it’s it’s omega energy and that’s it and

(1:28:08) it’s the intention behind the energy that makes it dark or light essentially that makes it vindictive manipulative destructive or makes it something of good and they can appear exactly the same on the outside but it’s really the consciousness that’s going into it and we’re trying our best you know we’re all trying our best and we can’t satisfy everyone at the same time but so it would be whether i’m wanting the attention or whether i’m wanting the message to have the attention would be

(1:28:39) the maybe the dark and the light the way that we do it in our work is um this is a principle that was defined by one of my teachers david data and it’s called first second and third stage you might be familiar with this formula and it’s an excellent model to help us understand first stage is the me stage this is all about me i don’t care what you guys need or why you need it i’m going to express this i’m going to say this i’m going to do this because i want to do it incredibly destructive way to live one’s

(1:29:09) life a lot of people do live that way most people live that way i’m hungry i’m gonna steal from you i need this i’m going to kill you i’m going to do this and so on the second stage is okay let’s make a deal um i want something you want something i’m gonna negotiate with you in a respectable way and we’re gonna come to terms and then we’re gonna i’m gonna do my thing you do your thing but we saw eye to eye in what we did right it was a mutual exchange this is where a lot of business is conducted

(1:29:41) right in the second stage now in the third stage of development as data describes it it’s this spiritual stage of growth it’s maturity in oneself where we say okay i know i can do what i want and i know i can kind of make deals and negotiate what i want but then we start to ask ourselves is there more to life than that is is something trying to live through me and it comes through a real check in ourselves what’s the meaning of my life oh i know it’s actually to give my love it’s actually to give this gift

(1:30:18) before i die essentially what do you how do you need to give your love before you die what’s the gift you need to leave behind when you die that type of question asking will lead us more closely to the answer we need and when we sit in that inquiry you know plant medicines have a great way of kind of illuminating this thing very easily very quickly but when we sit with that inquiry we start to say well what is that thing is it what i was just wasting my time on is that it no what it is is it’s actually this and then we start

(1:30:51) making our decisions based on the greater good that when i’m on my deathbed there’ll be no courts attached i will die complete i will die fulfilled i will die loved i will die as love because i gave love without question no matter what happened what my conditions were i overcame them or at least tried my best so when we live from that compass that’s how we get the best out of ourselves and we’re gonna fail every step of the way too we’re gonna hurt people we’re gonna hurt our lover we’re gonna feel frustrated

(1:31:30) but it’s our ability to constantly come back to that inquiry and and love from that place or give from that place and when we do our life shapes itself around us our ability to manifest from there is just infinite how gorgeous thank you for that um the way i heard it is really what you were speaking about early on in the show and that i was praising you for is redirecting yourself to become mindful again become mindful of what you’re doing in every moment of your life really as often as you can bring yourself back to

(1:32:10) that and um i think a piece of of what we do in this culture and every culture is we practice something i kind of i guess i want to call it like purposeful ignorance where we know that things aren’t necessarily resonating with how we’re living our life at the moment or what we’re doing you know like you were speaking to you’re dating a broad spectrum of women and you know treating them a certain way and a lot of that you know wasn’t in truth you know wasn’t you being authentic to your own truth

(1:32:49) in love um and something and that’s what i’m calling purposeful ignorance is where we are deciding to not look at something because we know if we look at it we’re going to have to actually change it we know if we become mindful of this thing we’re going to have to do something to change it and we are allergic to change you know we our egos are like we’re safe where we are now let’s not mess with anything we’re not going to change anything we don’t have to disturb this just move forward and so we stay

(1:33:17) ignorant on purpose um but when we do the work like what you’re talking about here which is looking at this stuff and being honest about it with ourselves and then the second factor on that which i think is what you’re speaking to with creating this art and making sure it’s all in love um one of our favorite people have to have on the show eric godsey says it’s so important to be or speak truth in love because like you’re saying if we just come at it with our blunt honesty and we forget the love portion

(1:33:52) of it and we forget to make sure that we’re mindful of how this is going to be received by everybody it’s not in love we’re just being selfish really we just want to get this out and that figure out what to do with it when i put it out there you know so yeah speak our truth in love be our truth in love so important um i’m not going to let you get away justin with dropping a plant medicine bomb mercedes has not done plant medicine before i’ve done um about 18 ceremonies so we uh plant medicine is a broad spectrum

(1:34:31) but the intentional ceremony i have not done but i wanted to know from your side of things is that something you’ve if you’re comfortable talking about it is that something you experimented with or do you use maybe regularly and explore that with us if you will sure i’d be happy to touch upon that um i’d say by the age of 16 i was heavily exploring psychedelics regularly minimum once a month for about 18 years stint and at the end of that stint i had an experience and it said you are absolutely done with this path is no

(1:35:11) longer for you and in that moment um i gave everything that i had owned away to dear friends and i haven’t gone back since so that’s been um two or three years now since since that officially ended about three years now um my relationship to allies and and medicines was always how far can i push this human experience of consciousness how much can i dissolve myself what’s what’s really possible here i i just wanted to know and i would research every substance known to man i would i was very scientific about the entire

(1:35:50) thing and then when i would have the experiences it would be very formal settings what’s my take on it is if you don’t absolutely if you’re not absolutely certain you want to do it then i’d say don’t do it um i think one should be totally clear that it’s something they want to do and engage in and be fully responsible in the decision around it does it allow us to see ourselves in the world in ways we couldn’t possibly imagine otherwise certainly we get insight but that insight that we glean in those

(1:36:26) moments shouldn’t be mistaken for the real thing the love we feel in that blip of being under the influence of that supplement or the insight that we gain isn’t enough on its own integration and there’s a wonderful alchemical author that i read and he calls it smuggling back the information over the border because you have this awakening there and then the moment the substance wears off that same idea that you may have even wrote down or thought about again just doesn’t have the weight to it or the insight behind it

(1:37:01) so bringing that insight into our lives and not mistaking as my friend says the supplement for the workout so when you’re able to really enter that’s so good the insight and apply it then that’s a very useful and intelligent way to use those but i think if you’re just constantly engaging for the sake of the high it can be an incredibly destructive way of life i think i was i did 18 ceremonies in about three years because i was kind of like what you were saying i was trying to dissolve myself and i was so obsessed with growth

(1:37:36) and um just being my highest self and um then this last november the medicine said that i was i was done here as well for a good while and she said um you have plenty to integrate and in this next year love is going to be your ceremony and um it was a really big message and even in these last it’s only been a few months i feel like in working through conflict and in um feeling out my vulnerabilities in love the way i felt in ceremony where i would physically feel the rewiring in my brain and the pattern shifting i felt it in

(1:38:14) those moments without the medicine so it’s really interesting that sounds wonderful what a great experience and beautiful messaging to get that clear marker to know that you’re complete beautiful thanks for going into that with us some that was a little side bit didn’t know i was gonna explore with you but because you touched on um your story of you spending a lot of your younger years you know experimenting we call it i guess um what can you give us a little bit of your story of how you got to where you are

(1:38:55) today doing the work you’re doing and you can take you can bring us through whatever comes up for you yeah yeah because i’m curious too about um how you had multiple lovers and then what it was where london there was just this yeah yeah yeah so both of those are interesting yeah i’d be more than happy to um you know when i was about uh four or five years old i went to my grandparents house and my grandfather took me in the back room and sat me down and he said close your eyes i want to teach you something

(1:39:26) and he began teaching me visualization memorization and different focus concentration techniques from my mind i had no idea what i was learning at the time i just thought i was playing a game so when i’d come back over he would kind of guide me more and then test me on certain things and then he died within a year later oh wow um he died of cancer and it happened really quick and from that point on i never understood what he was teaching me or why and i had forgotten about it for a number of years and then when i was 10

(1:39:59) years old i just decided to move into the basement of my home and i’m from a big family there were five kids i was the middle child of five so i was already really weird so i i moved into the basement of my parents house and i began meditating again um and i’d sit and i’d close my eyes and i’d be there for hours and it was through that practice at a very young age that i just began to explore consciousness and i would start doing these techniques that i essentially just invented on the spot and years would go by and it was

(1:40:32) until i was about 16 and the internet was really starting to become credible at that point that i think i started asking myself man there’s got to be other people in the world who do this because i didn’t tell my parents about it i didn’t tell my best friends about it i never talked about it with anybody and when i ran some searches i found buddhism and their techniques and i found wow these people are doing pretty much exactly the same thing that i’ve been doing here and in that moment it just kind of

(1:41:00) dawned on me it’s like if any human being just closes their eyes and sits in silence and pays attention to consciousness long enough they’re going to come to pretty similar conclusions about consciousness just like a human being has hands hands do this you know they look like this i believe when we go inside it’s the very same thing so once i saw that i just continued my practice um a solo practice and eventually i got into all other forms of esoteric system at one point i had an altar in my room my friends would come over and they

(1:41:33) would never even ask me about it really be in the room they wouldn’t even i don’t know some beauty there’s one in my room yeah people don’t ask it’s you said all right good so this is common people see they’re just like whatever but i always loved that i love that my best friends the people are closest with would see it and not even say a thing about it it was it really meant the world to me it did so i went my whole life thinking i was gonna keep this side of me a secret um i never thought

(1:42:04) ever that i would share this with anyone and then i met london and on maybe one of our second or third dates together i remember bringing her into my bedroom and laying her down and i just straddled her body we both had clothes on but i just got on top of her and i don’t even know where this came from i just began running my hands over her body but i wasn’t physically touching her and she had her eyes closed and every gesture i made with my hand her body would respond in that exact area perfectly in sync with the

(1:42:40) movements of my hands and i was just observing this and i was like what what is this this is bizarre i’ve never experienced this with anyone and i’m watching her do this and it was like this connection was made and it was from that point forward where i started to share with her these practices that i had been doing my entire life and then that’s when she invited me to this workshop it was a workshop with david data and um in that moment when i went to that workshop i realized all of those techniques i’d been practicing on my own

(1:43:14) for my whole life that i thought i’d never be able to share with anyone through this two-body practice i could be there experiencing it and my woman could be there right with me experiencing the same thing it was no longer subjective i knew these experiences were real but i didn’t know i could share them with other people and then in that moment the connection was made and i was blown away my whole life changed and from that moment i literally have dedicated my entire life to this path and it hasn’t changed since this

(1:43:49) was a decade ago wow that sounds so similar to my own story with my husband uh the second day of knowing him and not being romantically interested in him he showed me how to meditate for the first time and then at the end of a short meditation and a short conversation i knew that was the person i was going to be with boom like that it was strange and i’m not the person who does that you know i was not the person who made decisions like that yeah that’s a very interesting story very cool you love it cool all right well um let’s get back to the

(1:44:30) work you’re doing today which is doing so much to change our lives here um and as we do the work of creating more intimacy in our separate lives with our partners with our separate lives and with our partners or in partnership how do we heal from that place what is what’s happening there that’s allowing us to heal i’m not sure i understand the question when we’re doing this work of creating more intimacy in our lives what what is it in there if it’s able to be described i don’t know that creates a

(1:45:11) healing for us or creates places where we feel like we can maybe finally trust someone enough or become open enough to see the things we need to heal what what’s happening in there for us in my experience very few human beings have ever felt someone else putting impeccable perfect presence on them just being perfectly present with them how many of us have really experienced that um there may have been mothers at times and you know we were an infant or something where our mother was giving us that or maybe not though

(1:45:56) and we don’t know what happens when finally we have someone’s undivided attention and it’s completely on us and simply in service to us in devotion to us what comes up inside of us outside of a workshop you know you sit down with someone who’s just that present and you’re like ooh stop staring at me this is weird this is awkward why are you looking at me like that and we immediately put our defenses up and we reject it even though on a deeper level it’s what we’ve wanted more than right

(1:46:29) is that level of presence but we reject it because we don’t know how to actually receive that depth so when we show up and we just start there it starts to bring up things inside of us that we didn’t even know were dormant or afraid or contracted or hurt and that’s the it’s just like meditation we don’t know the degree of our reactivity our neurosis and our suffering until we sit and try and become perfectly still and then all of a sudden the rap brain just starts churning our body starts fidgeting we

(1:47:06) become panicky we we feel how difficult it is just being in our own skin and how desperately we need distraction to keep going so this practice is very much the same except we get to experience it with another partner and what makes it in my opinion a little bit better is that we get to enjoy intimacy while we’re going down the path we get to experience erotic connection as all of this is coming up and in moments it’ll be vulnerable terrifying and in the next moment it’s ecstatic heart opening and we burst open as a result so it’s a

(1:47:48) roller coaster and every single human being is entirely different some people show up and they realize they were born for this and this is what was they were missing their whole life and some people show up and they didn’t know they’d get stuck and they find out they just have a big wall up and then it’s just one thing that when we figure out where that wall is we break it down emotions just start pouring out tears and they’re healed in a way they they won’t even understand for months later

(1:48:17) it’s yeah it’s it’s incredible to witness and be a part of it yeah i bet what a it must be just an honor to be able to be a facilitator for that type of movement for someone i’m sure y’all y’all say it too but we always say on the show um intimacy into me see so it’s like you’re once they experience that intimacy like the feeling of being seen i think is what can be so healing absolutely so many women especially many women in my life right now it seems um seem to be struggling with getting

(1:48:53) pregnant and i’m wondering how much of a role being versed in intimacy um plays in that and if you might have any insight on the correlation there on getting pregnant or not yeah what part about it on on a woman trying to get pregnant a lot of women seem to not be able to get pregnant currently i’m just wondering if intimacy is a major you know being able to be intimate with another person seems to like maybe letting their womb feel safe [Music] is it an energetic thing possibly i personally believe yes they are

(1:49:33) correlated i don’t have the scientific background to be able to say exactly what the correlation is between these women not being able to get pregnant and so on so i can’t speak directly to that but what i could speak to is my own personal adventure with london i would love that i’m 35 years old and london is 14 years older than me um and we had our child just about a year and a half ago which means she got pregnant uh just about two just over two years ago so she was 46 47 at that time and there was a period for about five or six

(1:50:10) years before she got pregnant this last time that she did get pregnant and we had a lot of miscarriages and london talks about that experience in the book and how devastating that was um it was hard and some of them went you know we had a child 20 weeks we lost in 20 weeks wow and um that was a tough process to go through and we did go to doctors locally some of the best doctors in la and we spoke to them and they said look fertility is not your problem it’s that your eggs are just old it’s just not going to happen

(1:50:40) so we kind of let that entire idea go and we continued to engage intimately and it was really when we were over it and i hear a lot of people say this it’s the moment we completely let the idea go that she had gotten pregnant and we were actually really scared because we didn’t want to go through another loss so we were just kind of gritting our teeth and each stage we had the tests done because we weren’t sure how the baby was going to turn out because when older the eggs the more there is for complications

(1:51:14) and by the end of the road we turned out we had a perfectly healthy baby and we were both stunned we’re still stunned we can’t believe it and i mean for her to go through that process at her age and to deliver that perfectly healthy baby um do i associate that happening through our practice i’m not going to make any scientific arguments here but i will say yes i personally believe they are correlated i believe that the practice the intimate practice we created together allowed for something to take place

(1:51:54) um and it just it blows us away we’re still very much in a dreamlike state around the whole thing we can’t believe it we really can’t believe it so for the other women out there i wish i could provide insight and help around it but i’m just not an expert on on that piece yeah well um because you are both parents what are ways we can use this yoga that you guys teach in our parenting huh yeah how do we create awakened daughters i’m a single mom of two toddlers so i’m i’m i’m constantly feeling the pressure to

(1:52:32) fulfill both roles as well but yeah well first to to be said when we have an infant or a child um when we are with that infant we need to be alpha and omega particularly if we’re with them alone because we need to be the structure we need to be the clarity of consciousness we need to be the command the authority we need to be the protector the provider all of those alpha qualities and we also need to be the nurturer feeding them food feeding them milk um changing their diapers giving them baths the caretaker the nurture

(1:53:06) part so when you’re with a child and it’s just you you’re gonna need to fulfill both of those duties fully to really be of greatest service to the child um they’re gonna take everything of you so but there also is a difference between mommy or daddy mode and work mode those are very different uh dimensions so the way london and i keep our relationship good in the midst of this is we’re very clear whose roles are what and when so there’s one every thursday for example i’m daddy mode i do not do any

(1:53:45) work no work i’m with the baby entirely and london goes and handles all business all of her clients everything she needs to and she doesn’t interact with the baby when we separate she physically leaves the space to do this now what we’ve observed is if she comes down into the house and mentions anything about work whatsoever it’ll immediately irritate my body because i’m essentially an omega with this child being the caretaker of this child that’s a moral mega pole versus the work mode right

(1:54:18) so if if i’m in omega and she brings that alpha work mode it just irritates my system right and if i go and i bring the baby up into the workspace and say hey the baby she’s immediately going to get irritated so there’s intelligence to keeping containment around work mode and parent mode and if we don’t contain those intelligently they will irritate us both so if i’m with the baby and all i’m thinking about is how stressed out i am about this thing i need to do for work but i can’t give it my attention i’m

(1:54:50) only irritated i’m not present my daughter suffers that i suffer that it serves me much better to drop into that mode blast some music dance around like a nut go on walks take care of the baby and then find time to find the other now some people are going to be in positions where that that’s going to be a luxury to disconnect and do that and i’m not sure you know what your life looks like around that i’d be curious to know like do you find separation between work mode and mommy mode or does it feel like it

(1:55:24) all bleeds together for you it all bleeds together yeah and what’s that like for you um it’s my biggest disappointment i think because i’m i’m working from home so that i can be with them but then i’m not present when i’m with them because i’m working and that’s um only making them need me more you know and um it’s not fulfilling for any of us so i have made it to where once a week no phone no work but once a week really isn’t enough um so i am trying to find the balance there

(1:56:02) one thing that we learn in our work um and i want you guys to both imagine if you had a partner who was totally purpose driven totally about crushing the world you know fulfilling their dreams being awesome and they were so absorbed in their work but that when they were around you they were just distracted and still focusing and talking about their work so imagine being in that person’s presence for five hours a day and that was the quality of presence you got or imagine a scenario where that person you loved who’s pursuing all of that work

(1:56:37) handles all that work but instead when they come to you they can only give you one hour of their time but when they give you that one hour they are impeccably present their phone is down they’re just with you it’s less time but it’s a different quality of presence which one would you guys choose equality yeah so when we think about giving the gift of presence to omega and our infants our children are always more omega than we are so no matter how omega you are your infant is always gonna be moral men it’s

(1:57:11) more helpless it has all of these qualities that just demand consciousness consider today each day how much time can i give them of impeccable presents 10 minutes could i do 10 minutes of impeccable presents with them 20 minutes 30 minutes can i give them the gift and remember i talked about frequency so can you show up to that as a discipline as a spiritual practice as a yoga be like okay this is your 10 minutes guys i am here for you and it’s now we can’t control what omega does when we want to give omega presence

(1:57:53) omega maybe in the mood to receive it omega may not be in a mood especially when they’re two and three especially the two or three but even as adults still the same yeah but when you sit you are committed you say this is the time it starts this is the time it ends you make that promise to yourself you make that promise to them but then you continue to show up in that way it creates a grounding in their lives and in your life where you know at this time of day i am gonna give them impeccable presents or that gift that

(1:58:23) they need a transmission and then there’s always that tether and you never know which day that’s really gonna be the greatest gift that they could ever receive or that would serve you in your relationship to them so making these mountains into little bites and saying can i be impeccably present with the person i love for 10 minutes today every day and that’s how that’s how at the end of mercedes just that at the end of every show we do our own magic tricks and i was going to read from your book page

(1:58:59) 127 the 10-minute presence practice is my magic trick today so i was going to read y’all’s practice so that’s that’s in perfect alignment so everyone listening you’ll get you’ll get an outline for that in a little bit amazing okay we’re coming down closer to the end here um dan on instagram one of our magic moppers asks can you discuss the current issues around pornography use specifically for men but women can be involved in that conversation too and he says how do we pull a man’s

(1:59:33) consciousness into the present during intimacy this is a great question and a question that comes up a lot typically as men we learn how to use our sexual organs we learn how to engage sexually by looking at a magazine or closing our eyes and fantasizing and then ejaculating as quickly as possible so we don’t get caught so how many times from the age of what like 12 or 13 to an adult has a man gone through that process where he’s looking at an image or closing his eyes and fantasizing and ejaculating as quickly as possible how

(2:00:12) many times this does that versus how many times he’s with an intimate partner and completely present just with that intimate partner sexual experience the difference is staggering for almost all men so men have hardwired their bodies to only get aroused when they close their eyes and fantasize and to ejaculate as quickly as possible that’s hardwired so when a man watches porn his body is going to naturally want to ejaculate as quickly as possible he’s not going to learn how to prolong love making or control orgasms so i’ve

(2:00:50) written an entire article it’s a tutorial it’s a blog post online it’s called bypassing ejaculation and prolonging lovemaking or multiple orgasms for men you can google that and the article come up it’s a full tutorial that teaches men step by step how to go from that into being essentially a multi-orgasmic man beautiful um we’ll link it in the show notes guys yeah it’s it’s a very useful article for men but it’s so common so the first thing that we need to do is we really do need to get rid of porn and stop the

(2:01:25) habit of closing the eyes and fantasizing to become aroused and start being more present with the person we’re with and most importantly you learn to breathe fully down your body so you inhale let the inside of the body expand the lower belly expand and then you exhale fully up the body because what causes ejaculation as well quickly is the inside of the body is contracted tightly and it causes an outward explosion of energy so when you relax the inside of the body and you’re breathing deeply you can move the sexual

(2:01:56) energy through the body more and more for men who want to learn this practice seriously you do have to abstain from pornography to learn the skill if you’re a man you don’t want to abstain from pornography that’s fine you know it’s not for you but i will say that the habit pattern tends to be so intense so extreme and until you’ve eliminated that from the equation porn is going to trigger that very [ __ ] response inside of you that’s going to be hard to overcome without doing some practices

(2:02:27) can you repeat that link one more time yeah it’s um it’s on a website called we are sacred dot org and the important the article is multiple orgasms for men i’ll find bypassing ejaculation and prolonging lovemaking perfect yeah i’ll definitely find it and put a link there so it’ll be easy to get um and so the piece he asks about being able to pull a man’s consciousness into the present during intimacy is there is there any tools for that absolutely that’s what we teach women at our workshops

(2:03:05) what how does she need to move how does she need to express herself what does she need to become that she is intoxicating to his attention that every movement she makes is drawing his attention out she might be moving it’s it’s a conscious we can do incredible things with our human bodies and by using radiance and allure to draw a man’s consciousness out and when she knows exactly how to move and surrender herself to that it will draw his attention right out of his body and into her it’s incredible

(2:03:46) how do we train women to do that very complicated very very simple but very complicated to explain but in the workshop it’s very easy to create and once two partners know how to give one another that feedback to create that those two partners can have those skills for the rest of their life and you can continue to learn and deepen just knowing what are the fundamentals that will create that know how to ask for it in a way that opens your partner rather than closes them do you think that kind of finding out what your man likes in porn

(2:04:19) is a good tool to use to bring into your sexual practice with them at all sure it certainly could be um something about a man’s sexual appetite and we talk about this a lot is when a man watches porn it’s not like he’s watching one video usually it’s like he has like 30 videos and it’s 20 seconds of specific scenes at different times because his appetite for the other is variety it’s london described it the other day as i was describing this to a couple they were blown away because he couldn’t real

(2:04:54) he didn’t realize that this was kind of every couple scenario in every man’s desire he wants a variety of flavors and textures he wants to feel 30 different forms of women to feel completely sexually fulfilled what’s corrupting about it is he really thinks he needs all of those women to experience that and that one woman represents only one flavor that’s the biggest lie she and he have ever been told a woman can become every and any flavor for the man that she loves and trusts if both of them are intentionally navigating that

(2:05:35) terrain lovingly and mindfully and not being shut down by his voracious appetite for infinitude in her sexuality he wants every flavor so to answer your question would it help to see some of those things yes and no because you might find out like certain fetishes or certain qualities he particularly goes back to often often but once a man tastes a flavor fully he’s kind of done with that flavor imagine wearing the same outfit every day for the rest of your life or eating the same food for breakfast lunch and dinner that’s what he thinks

(2:06:12) committing to one woman is going to be like for him and in his brain that committal is like a prison is what most men feel around sexuality he becomes liberated when he recognizes that woman can become all of his fantasies if he not just creepily demanding them but literally polarizing her into a kind of consciousness that she would love to become that man’s everything we gotta sign up for this workshop i’m conveniently in la for your march event so yeah me too we did sell out for march just so you know the event’s been sitting up quickly

(2:06:55) but we have one in may may 9 and 10. um and then a couple other in the year if you guys want to check it out okay awesome um so there’s a few short questions we like to ask everyone who comes on the show so first off if you could hug your younger self right now what would you say i would say keep going how old were you nine or ten don’t stop keep going yeah it’s a popular age to whisper to yeah it is if you could have the whole world read one book which would it be my favorite book in the world is the

(2:07:47) obama shots what is it it’s it’s the indian spiritual classic the obama shots it was written between 800 and 600 bc in ancient india and it was some of the most inspired poetic writings by the um enlightened johnnies johnny yogis of the forests and they left some incredible nuggets of wisdom inside of those pages and it’s one of my favorite books is it really dense is it tough to digest it’s very poetic it’s not dense at all but it’s very poetic so you would need to read between some of the poetry but

(2:08:24) it is um if you know some of the main ideas it’s very digestible and people scholars dedicate their whole lives to the study and understanding of it so it’s infinite and it’s giving how do you spell that bonus shots um well it’s u p a and i s-h-a-d-s okay i’m glad you asked that because i would not have come up with that spelling for it at all google would have been like what i’m excited to order it yeah um so that’s it right i mean if you could whisper one phrase to everyone on this oh no

(2:09:07) i missed one i’m sorry yeah if you could whisper one phrase to everyone on the planet justin what would it be you are already love and you are already free that you roam from room to room searching for that diamond necklace that’s already around your neck something else yes yeah um i’m curious um so you’re so this is the end of the show um but you’re definitely in your calling there’s like been there’s like this glow that comes out from um your body like your aura is very translucent and you know glowing around

(2:09:51) you um i was curious if you know your animal ally or spirit animal um i’ve encountered a number of different spirit animals and allies wolf and crow have been very dear to me london and i have a great affinity with snake um but i’m not certain if you have a particular system that you’re referencing when you when you say that yeah it’s interesting i would have guessed that you were a wolf i don’t know why um but i kept seeing you as a as a um like a viper snake um like a very like majestic um full of wisdom type snake and i know

(2:10:28) she does snake ceremonies so i thought i wonder if i wonder if they already kind of knew that yeah yeah yeah wolf crow and snake are very dear yeah that’s so interesting you really do hold those energies um well before we let you go where can people find you online easiest place to find me is my website at justinpatrickpierce.

(2:10:55) com awesome thank you so much and this has been incredible and i know you you have a one and a half year old so you are tired so thank you for sticking it out with us and bringing all your wisdom to the show you are truly um inspirational when it comes to us finding our own way towards being more intimate and more versatile so thank you for being such a light yeah i feel like my my heart burst open a lot during this episode so i know it’s happening for everyone that’s listening um yeah thank you so much um thank you very

(2:11:31) much for having me mercedes and jade yeah we um if we um wanted to connect with you in london um to try to do some sort of i know you guys have your intimacy workshops but if we wanted to do some sort of um live interview with you guys where we let we open it up to couples to come and you lead us through some exercises um how would we go about that um that sounds very cool i think i had an email from you guys that my assistant had shown for march 21 yeah and we do have an event on march 21 that’s going to be our intensity

(2:12:05) so if if you guys have um time places to kind of throw at us that’s going to be very helpful navigating with the money’s always tricky yeah i know would it be too much to have it on the 20th or would that be too intensive for you guys to have three days of that back to back yeah that would be impossible for yes the way we run the events uh fridays the fridays before fully consumed oh yeah in the event okay pretty wasted after the event yeah i can imagine but if you guys have any particular times in mind it sounds

(2:12:37) awesome i would totally be open to exploring i know london said uh her interview with you guys was one of one of her favorite she’s ever done oh it’s still one of our favorites she she loved talking to you guys so much so um totally be open to it just just let me know what you guys have in mind okay okay so we’ll look at dates thank you so much all right send her our love i will it’s a pleasure thank you good good night all right it’s a long one but it was good it’s great i know i’m glad i i already

(2:13:12) changed it in the air dates this is part one in part two yeah i’m excited um that was really good i feel like um i feel like this episode felt for me it felt like a ceremony in itself because of how much um like when i not necessarily with ayahuasca but with huachuma it’s like you just keep getting these nuggets of wisdom that like change your understanding of certain things and all of a sudden you’re like my soul feels older and that’s how that’s how this episode felt for me it felt like i’m maybe not

(2:13:41) older but wiser anyway yeah well yeah for some reason i say older because it felt like in huachuma you feel like your soul grew 70 years you like gained 70 years worth of wisdom and um yeah this this um conversation had a similar effect for me um and i think in the past couple weeks my heart has closed a little bit um with some of my um betrayal vulnerabilities being triggered and i feel like he really um opened it up a lot so it was very healing i’m glad to hear that very magical it was beautiful is your magic trick switching up

(2:14:19) um so my magic trick is a libido check-in uh and just to state that your interest in sex is an important measure of health and according to dr jolene brighton around 40 of women experience a disinterest in sex or a low libido and men similarly can have major dips um in their libido in times of their lives when they’re not healthy and balanced so i just wanted to i guess list off a few things that low libido can be because of okay so that could be because of low testosterone low progesterone imbalanced estrogen

(2:15:02) gut infections adrenal issues bad relationships hormonal birth control body image issues diabetes too much stress insulin dysregulation uh autoimmune disease medication side effects trauma and so so so much more but those are the really popular or common um things that seem to be underlying root causes sometimes for uh libido be having low libido so for all of our magic mobbers listening right now both the men and the women beyond what we spoke about today with justin there could also be a more you know medically

(2:15:41) physical or psychological reason your libido is low and it might be a combination of some of these things you just never know so as always we encourage you to see a professional and get down to the root cause because experiencing that beautiful sexual energy that justin was talking about today and you know that that comes with a healthy libido it’s something we want for every one of you so and also just a side note you can be asexual and not have a health issue however it’s always a great idea to have up-to-date health care and

(2:16:14) support so yeah guys just check in with your libido today and maybe even do some tracking of how your libido goes throughout the month and throughout the quarter of the year and such and see where you’re at and then check in with your healthcare professional that’s it how about you jade what’s your magic today so as i mentioned i’m gonna lead um not lead because you you have to take this and go do it with someone but i’m gonna tell you how to offer a loved one 10 minutes of presence like like justin mentioned um

(2:16:48) which he’s very present like i forgot my own question and he’s like well well you asked what you asked was um so ideal but it’s so ideal uh so this isn’t a short magic trick but i’m going to try to breeze through it and then if you choose to use it you can you know rewind it um but so offer a loved one 10 minutes of presents so for this you’re going to pick one person it can be a friend it can be your child like you mentioned which is what i’m going to do it can be a parent if you have that type

(2:17:21) of relationship that sounds a little triggering for a lot of people i’m sure or it can be a lover which sounds very rewarding also and you’re going to offer them 10 minutes of your presence um today or this week as soon as you can so um [Music] it’s an it’s important that if you can do this in person that you do it in person because it’s not just your mind that we want to develop in presence but the soft responsive tissues of your body as well as like being in front of them and it’s also important that you pick

(2:17:52) someone who can meet you in the moment um not someone who you know that they’re going to be in the middle of working or that that’s the time that they watch their tv program you know otherwise they’re going to be unable to give you your attention so those are the two prereqs um [Music] if possible choose an environment that is appropriate for authentic connection and keep in mind that the person you choose may not be capable of being fully present with you and this is often the case actually but your practice is not to force or demand

(2:18:24) them to be present with you but rather to silently invite them into presence through the quality of your practice so you’re going to meet up with the person you’ve chosen and without telling them what you’re up to because that could be even more that can be super awkward this is already kind of a difficult practice um offer them 10 minutes of unwavering presence through the practice described here so there’s five steps so the first one drop into the right now moment so before you attempt to offer

(2:18:50) your presence to another first you must come into presence with yourself so begin dropping into the right now moment by placing your attention on your breath and your body as london always says relax your tongue yeah but try relaxing your shoulders softening your lower belly pressing your hands into your thighs you know feeling your feet and ask yourself where are my body and breath and london and justin say that the answer should always be ah there they are because you you realize where they’re at so that’s number one you becoming you

(2:19:23) know in the right now moment number two is make eye contact so this can be really hard for people but um it is they say it’s best to look into their left eye which is the i on the right side from your perspective because it tends to be the more emotionally receptive side um which is interesting because the left side represents the feminine which is like pulling in so that’s kind of cool um but whether your chosen partner can meet you in eye contact or not continue to offer them your loving gaze as a selfless gesture as a way of showing

(2:19:54) them that you are there for them done skillfully the sincere level of eye contact alone is enough to draw tears and help move stuck emotions if you feel uncomfortable keeping eye contact this is your edge of practice don’t judge it just notice it and keep coming back to the practice and be sure to keep breathing as you do always remember if your gaze is locked in loving presence with your partner and you suddenly look away for whatever reason they’ll feel it and that subtle break as pr in presence is sometimes all it takes to shift a

(2:20:25) moment of potential ecstatic union into a moment of shallow disconnection it’s like hitting the reset button and having to start from scratch so compassionately encourage yourself to stay with them for the full 10 minutes while you lovingly invite them to meet you in depth number three offer the kind of loving presence they need so as you gaze into their eyes or their eye their left eye place all of your attention on them what’s their body doing how are they breathing how are they feeling emotionally are they present are they

(2:20:55) distracted and however they are showing up don’t judge them don’t judge yourself self and don’t judge the moment don’t try to fix anything only loving presence to be offered and an invitation for them to join you if they wish so ask what does this person need right now to feel that they are truly loved remember what they need might be very different from what you would need or what you would want to give so like put on a beginner’s mind and assume you do not know what they need and instead place all your attention on

(2:21:27) them feel into their heart and explore the myriad of ways your presence can inspire them to open in this moment maybe this person needs you to listen maybe they need you to give them a good belly laugh or to hear you have a good belly laugh maybe they need your touch maybe just this undivided attention for 10 minutes is what they need number four experiment explore and adjust so if you thought talking to them is what would open them most but mid-sentence you notice it’s actually causing them to close up it’s your job to make that

(2:21:58) adjustment just simply pause keep on breathing and continue offering presents number five which is the last step receive the moment so let the moment move through your body as you ask in the experience of connecting with someone you love if it sends a chill up your spine then that’s like you silently saying yes to the chill if it cracks open your heart and you begin to shed a tear say yes to that emotion as you offer your loving presence to this person that you’ve chosen you are allowing your authentic self to be seen

(2:22:32) in your heart to be a part of the equation your truth to be the oracle of the moment and in the midst of all this you receive this moment by breathing it in you must remember throughout this entire exercise to breathe inhale the moment breath by breath and let it fill you inch by inch so the skill that you are cultivating is your ability to not only meet the moment but but also to become sensitive to what the moment requires to deepen in connection this is the gift of your presence this connection can be platonic

(2:23:01) or erotic but either way it is your ability to bring your yoga your presence your openness and vulnerability as a gift which serves the moment into a deeper expression of love and they say think of presence as a muscle that can be strengthened the more you use it because this may be hard for some people um but to realize where your edge is and you know if it feels nerve if you feel nervous or awkward this is how you your note you know that like you’re bumping into this edge but to spend more time practicing

(2:23:34) and let that be the muscle that’s strengthened and they end this um little exercise which by the way this book the awakened woman’s guide to everlasting love each chapter has an exercise like this in the end that is amazing but they end this exercise saying and remember your ability to give and receive presence is directly correlated to your ability to be met deeply and in intimacy i kind of feel like it too it’s like um you people can only meet you as deep as they’ve met themselves yes like if

(2:24:08) you’re not able to give this to someone then you’re not really allowing anyone to meet you here either you know so i know that was a long one it’s page 127 of the awakened woman’s guide to everlasting love if you want to have it in front of you or you can rewind it but um [Music] i really really like it and i um i intend to use it this week on multiple people have you ever used it in practice with another person not for a full 10 minutes um i’d say two to three minutes okay um but i do wanna i do want to use it this

(2:24:45) week cool i’m doing my magic trick you’ll have to report back to us on the success yeah of it um i like it i like it a lot cool all right well thank you for that yeah all right magic lovers thank you so much for tuning in and taking this journey with us if this episode held some magic for you please share it with your friends and family this would mean so much to us we really feel like this was such a strong message from justin and we really want people to hear it uh also don’t forget to join us on our instagram page

(2:25:16) at the magic hour and let us know what your favorite episodes have been so far we appreciate all your feedback and really want to know what’s lighting you up yes and we release a new episode every monday so you can catch us again next week or go listen to some of our past episodes in our podcast library we’ll meet you there until then bye big thank you to at rayton royal for our intro jam and to john aaron garza from real and motion productions for producing the show stay magical friends i’m laughing at the very end because it

(2:25:47) got blurrier i feel like you were like did i get it all right yeah um all right