(00:00) recording um i just always forget to turn my little notifications dealio to silent hey will you take your spoon out of your tea because every time when we’re going did they reply to you no i don’t think so let me check [Music] okay this is going [Music] greetings magic mobbers welcome boys and babes it’s that time again it’s the magic hour a place where we navigate through life’s peaks and valleys with all the vulnerability and shamelessness we can muster with the help of world-class guests from

(00:55) all walks of life we uncover new truths and valuable tools for manifesting our highest potential i’m your host mercedes tarot along with my partner in shine jade bryce hey you guys we have had some amazing guests on the show but i’ve truly never been this excited for a guest ever um like i’m actually nervous and i haven’t been nervous since our very first episode of paul selig so um i’m being a hundred percent honest with you guys when i say that before we ever even recorded our first episode i

(01:26) made a list of 10 dream guests and he was one that i wrote down and i also started emailing right then before the show even started to try to book him and i continued to email him every few months until he said yes so i finally got him his poetry always brings me to tears and it has carried me through some really heavy times i feel like i already know him because of his work and because his words speak so much truth that is so in alignment with my own heart i feel like he already knows me as well yeah his poetry is really amazing and

(02:00) you will hear some of it throughout this episode so look forward to that and i love the hip-hop vibe that he has as he speaks it so um each sentence i’ve said this before but each sentence of his poems have an entire book’s worth of truth in them it’s almost like he’s reviving poetry at its truest form and modernizing it in a really enlightening way he’s truly making poetry cool again so i’m super excited for you guys to witness it with us and i’m excited to hear his story yes the most inspiring spoken word poets of

(02:33) our time his words drop you into a deep vulnerability he is a national poetry slam champion award-winning poet and multi-platinum songwriter named oprah supersoul 100 list of the world’s most influential thought leaders as well as the first spoken word artist to perform with certain soleil he has been featured on espn hbo’s deaf poetry jam and a e’s look closer campaign which deputed during the emmys he has inspired audiences around the world through his live performances in storytelling workshops a transformative

(03:07) team bonding experience where you redefine the moments that changed your life many of his recent poetry videos have gone viral with over 70 million views combined on topics of love family presence forgiveness and social issues including climate change gun violence racism and more he invites us all to look inside and question our own existence to inquire within a beacon of consciousness for our generation after hearing him and reading his poetry you’ll never look at poetry the same way again his book in choir within comes out

(03:39) tomorrow march 31st we’re so honored to have you here today and cue welcome to the show so his real name’s adam yeah let me pause this real quick recording all right take two of the intro welcome boys and babes it’s the magic hour a place where we navigate through life’s peaks and valleys with all the vulnerability and shamelessness we can muster with the help of world-class guests from all walks of life we uncover new truths and valuable tools for manifesting our highest potential i’m your host mercedes terrell along

(04:18) with my partner in shine jade bryce hey you guys we have had some really amazing guests on this show but i have truly never been this excited for a guest ever like i’m actually nervous and i’ve never i haven’t been nervous before a show since our very first episode of paul selig um i’m being completely honest with you guys when i say that before we ever even recorded our first episode i made a list of about 10 dream guests and this guy was on the list i right then started emailing to try to book him again this is before we ever

(04:51) even recorded um and we’re set in stone to have a show and i continued to email him every few months until he said yes and uh thank goodness cause he said yes last week and here we are only took a year and a half fantastic his poetry though it always brings me to tears and it has carried me through some really heavy times i feel like i already know him because of his work and because his word speaks so much truth that is so in alignment with my own heart i feel like he already knows me as well yeah his poetry is really amazing my

(05:24) voice is still scratchy because i was crying from listening to it right before i got on to record i mean you guys will hear some of it throughout this episode so look out for that uh i really love the the hip-hop vibe that he has as he speaks it and the way each sentence of his poems have like an entire book’s worth of truth in them it’s almost like he’s reviving poetry at its truest form and modernizing it into really enlightening um text that you can just like hear and feel when he when he speaks it so he is

(05:56) truly making poetry cool again i’m excited for you guys to hear it and to hear his story today yes the most inspiring spoken word poet of our time his words drop you into a deep vulnerability he is a national poetry slam champion award-winning poet and multi-platinum songwriter named oprah supersoul 100 list of the world’s most influential thought leaders as well as the first spoken word artist to perform with surf day soleil he has been featured on espn hbo’s deaf poetry jam and a e’s look closer campaign which

(06:32) debuted during the emmys he has inspired audiences around the world through his live performances and storytelling workshops a transformative team bonding experience where you redefine the moments that change your life many of his recent poetry videos have gone viral with over 70 million views combined on topics of love family presence forgiveness and social issues including climate change gun violence racism and more he invites us all to look inside and question our own existence to inquire within a beacon of consciousness for our

(07:08) generation after hearing him and reading his poetry you’ll never look at poetry the same way again his book inquire within comes out tomorrow march 31st we are so honored to have you here today in q welcome to the show hello hi hi how are you doing hi there you are let me close this how are you what’s happening hi adam i’m mercedes good how are you guys good i think there’s a little bit of a lag um and i’m jade um i i listened to your um you had an interview with tom shadyac like the big blue couch i think it was

(07:52) um like five or six years ago okay that was forever yeah um i used to go to his pepperdine class so um i think oh right did i was i speaking one time uh-huh yeah so you were actually like there live no um i i wasn’t able to do it live i just listened on serious i think it was serious in my book seriously yeah i had serious just for tom’s show yeah yeah i do remember that yeah i’m putting the pieces together well thank you guys for having me today yeah thanks for being here i appreciate it i mean we’re

(08:31) fans of you since then we were gonna read your bio and then just start with the questions okay fantastic do you guys um first of all is it too dark in here it’s a little dark yeah do you have a better option only because we use this video for promo purposes on social media okay cool closer is that a little bit better thanks yeah can you make it in front of you at all like more in front of you in front of me no because i’m sitting in my glass oh i can actually gotta move into the kitchen there was a [ __ ] lawn mower that was going on

(09:14) yeah we prefer this one i can try the kitchen if you’re comfortable easy would you like um i’ve been performing like poems from the book on some of the different podcasts that i’ve been doing oh yeah this lighting’s way better and you voted today yeah this is way better thank you okay cool yeah the loan more so that should make it easier okay okay okay cool we’ll read your bio and then uh go ahead and start with the questions okay great and then but that’s what i was asking is there any specific poems that you guys

(10:06) would like well my four favorite is um fall in love at 85 you don’t need love to be love um and then the wrong side of history about gun violence and then um the one about voting i don’t know like i have so many favorites but the two about love um are really good but either way when we close out the show we were gonna um we were gonna play one as our exit so oh no you should just have me perform it’ll be easier and it’ll be more natural and live and i mean unless you have a very specific vision of it no

(10:40) you do whatever you feel on your heart whatever poem you feel but those are cool and those i feel like uh always make people cry too they all do all right great okay cool um and i don’t know why we’re having a bit of a lag but hopefully it’ll catch up i know i feel like i keep interrupting you because there’s a little bit of a lag it’s unusual got it okay okay all right i’ll just be mindful to be careful i’ll do the same okay yes the most inspiring spoken word poet of our time his words drop you into a deep

(11:19) vulnerability he is a national poetry slam champion award-winning poet and multi-platinum songwriter named oprah super soul 100 list of the world’s most influential thought leaders as well as the first spoken word artist of her forum with cirque de soleil he has been featured on espn hbo’s deaf poetry jam and a e’s look closer campaign which debuted during the emmys he has inspired audiences around the world through his live performances and storytelling workshops a transformative team bonding experience where you

(11:52) redefine the moments that changed your life many of his recent poetry videos have gone viral with over 70 million views combined on topics of love family presence forgiveness and social issues including climate change gun violence racism and more he invites us all to look inside and question our own existence to inquire within a beacon of consciousness for our generation after hearing him and reading his poetry you’ll never look at poetry the same way again his book inquire within comes out tomorrow march 31st

(12:26) we’re so honored to have you here today nq welcome to the show wow thank you guys so much it’s a pleasure to be sitting here with you both virtually yeah thank you for being here um before you got on i i um told our listeners that before we started the show i made a dream guest list of 10 people and you were on that and i started emailing then and i’ve emailed um your assistant or your booking agent um every two months since then it’s been like a year and a half so so thank you so much thank you thank you

(12:58) for that that’s uh that’s a really wonderful compliment and as i said i’m really happy to be speaking with you both now thank you um you have some empowering perspectives on today’s society where others might lose hope when it comes to issues like climate change racism and gun violence you find a way to speak truth that reminds us that we can’t ignore what’s happening and to respond with empathy love and action um i was curious where your sensitivity to these issues and people come from uh you

(13:27) know you have a sensitivity to people of color when you’re not one to gun violence i’m guessing you’ve never been a victim and so i was just wondering what events or experiences in your youth helped to shape who you are well like if you were to look at the gun violence thing specifically um and i actually talk about this in the book i had an experience um when i was like around eight or nine we used to go visit uh my grandparents in florida and uh and i had an uncle larry and weirdly enough um we found out that uncle larry died

(14:07) yesterday we found this out he’s been estranged from my mom and doesn’t have a relationship with his kids anymore his grandkids for various reasons that i’m not going to go into because they’re not my stories to tell but um we didn’t know so he’s he’s passed away he’s been passed for four months and we just found out last night and there’s a story that i go into in the book i mean uncle larry was charismatic and he was intelligent and he was charming and um but he also kind of had a troubled

(14:43) life and without getting into specifics at one point he had hit a loaded gun in my grandfather’s closet and we were visiting them for um like winter break and we were playing this game where the kids would search for the presents that the adults had hid and so i wound up at the bottom of my grandfather’s closet in the den and i came across this shoe box and i opened it up and there was a gun lying there and i for some reason like in my mind i was a kid i thought it was my present [Music] so i picked it up

(15:22) and it was loaded and i tried i pointed it at my friend who was on the other side of the room and i tried to pull the trigger and i was like bang bang and wow he was on safety and then i went into the living room and i was like is this my present and everyone jumped up from the couch and started yelling at me to put down the gun wow and you know i mean i’ve always thought about that there’s literally like a siren in the background who knows what that’s about hopefully it’s a good positive thing you know

(15:55) somebody’s gonna get their life saved or you know something with an ambulance or something like that but the point is is that everything’s happening simultaneously and at that moment it was a pivotal moment for me because as i grew older i started thinking you know how much my life or more importantly his life could have changed had the safety not been on and i felt a lot of empathy for the families that have gone through gun violence and um and it ended in tragedy so um i think that’s part of the reason that i

(16:30) wrote that poem but the other part of the reason that i wrote that poem was because i was watching the [ __ ] news and there was another mass shooting and politicians were standing up saying well it’s not time to talk about it it’s time to respect the victims yeah we don’t want to deal with policies or laws we just want to respect the victims and i thought how is that respecting the victims i said when is it time to talk about it and that became the first line of that poem the wrong side of history

(16:59) and that’s always where i start my poetry is in a place that’s true for me you know i don’t strategize my inspiration i don’t think like what does my audience want to hear or what will resonate with popular culture um i don’t i don’t really like approach it that way because i feel like it’s more of a manipulation yeah and if i’m manipulating my opponent i’m manipulating myself first so um i don’t want to do either one of those things and so i just try to pay attention to when it is that i’m inspired or when it

(17:32) is that i’m moved or when it is that i’m annoyed or angry at something and i always start my poems there because if i do then if i give it enough time and space the rest of the poem will almost write itself that’s beautiful when did you first notice that you had that gift for poetry um and for such a precise powerful language um you know i cultivated it like anything else anything that people are good at they might have a natural talent at it but they have to put in their outlier hours yeah you know and the interesting thing

(18:08) about art in general is like no one can teach you what your voice is they could teach you different techniques of art and my mom’s a school teacher you know so i have great respect for teachers in general and artistic teachers they can say you know here are new tools or here are platforms for you to explore your voice but they can’t teach you what your voice is right voice is only going to come from experiencing it yeah you know and that’s how you get better and better at communicating the thing that you want to express through

(18:43) that have you always though asked such big questions and and deep questions or or was there a moment that that really opened up in you um well my father was not around and my mom raised me on her own and i think that when well i can’t speak for other people but for me i’ll say that i always felt um like i was observing my life from the outside looking in you know i had externalized what i thought masculinity was i was looking around like what am i supposed to be like what am i supposed to act like and i never really felt like

(19:22) i belonged in that way um and i think that you know once again you know your your your kryptonite is your superpower so the things that happen to you that are difficult are also opportunities and once you can be grateful for them whether or not you understand them then you can be empowered and a lot of those tools that i learned at that stage in my life being observant i think that turned into big questions and then those big questions ended up uh pouring into my art yeah this is a big question but how in your words can we build a better world

(20:03) i think just people need to be more compassionate to each other we need to realize we’re all in this human experience together you know no matter what the details or the circumstances are you know we all are writing our own human story individually and collectively and so i think empathy is what the world needs most right now and if you think about it you know like art is very important because you know art changes culture and culture can change policy you know and policy can change society you know so that’s why it’s really

(20:45) important now more than ever that everybody gets out you know they tell your sticker you know uses their voice in whatever way they can you know and it doesn’t always have to be perfect [ __ ] perfect it doesn’t exist you know just make sure that you’re expressing yourself and then you’re using your voice to build something not to destroy something yeah yeah i love how you point out in one of your um poems that we tend to say like my wife my home my kids but we don’t really refer to the other things that need to be taken

(21:19) care of like the planet we call it the planet instead of my planet um and and you say um you’re it’s kind of a reminder that poem that like um you say it in there that everything is ours and nothing is ours um and i i that really resonated um we have a mutual fr sorry go ahead ownership over something you are willing to fight for it so if we take ownership over the climate we would be willing to fight for it and by the way climate change doesn’t give a [ __ ] about our nations doesn’t care yeah you know the virus

(21:56) doesn’t care about our politics you know so we need to realize we’re all in this together yeah um we have a mutual friend that said um he already has a copy of inquire within and that he only allows himself to read one page a day because the book is like a close friend that he doesn’t want to say goodbye to stop here who said that uh tom shadiak oh i love tom yeah awesome yeah i read him this outline i was reading him some of the questions from this like getting it yeah he is a beautiful thing for him to

(22:35) say i i really appreciate that yeah he said he only lets himself read one page a day um and i i’ve had so many books like that too where they become like close friends and you just don’t want to say goodbye and i feel the same way uh reading your words but when i hear you speak them it’s almost like hearing the voice of god or source or my own highest self speaking and my whole body gets chills and my eyes and heart swell and i’d love for our listeners to experience this who haven’t already so

(23:04) are you up for sharing a poem with us right now it can be new or old whatever you yeah sure well you mentioned 85 is that something that that you guys would like to hear or sure we love love so okay cool so i’ll give you a little bit of context um so i wrote this piece because i used to live in a back house and um the woman who owned the main house her mom moved in at a certain point and she was in her 80s her name’s dolores and uh dolores and i became like really good friends because we shared a kitchen together so

(23:43) um we would sit and we would eat or we’d have coffee and discuss life and love and you know my ex-girlfriends while i was angry at that time about them whatever was going on in my life and um she really became somebody that was very important to me and uh one night after about six months or more i don’t remember exactly but you know of her living there i woke up and there i had this big window and um it was three in the morning and i looked in the blinds and i saw the ambulance lights and i like opened up

(24:18) the blinds and she was literally getting taken away on a stretcher and she was still alive but she was having major health complications and so i went and i visited her in the hospital and she had tubes in and out of uh her body and she had a really high fever and she didn’t recognize me and i sat with her for like an hour and the doctors were not saying it was a great prognosis and i didn’t want her to suffer anymore so i basically said my goodbyes to her but of course in any good story dolores was not done fighting yet she ended up

(24:56) getting better and they moved her to a retirement community and i went and i visited her in the retirement community and we were sitting in this like little garden outside and she was in a good mood so i said dolores why are you in such a good mood and she leans in and she goes i met a guy so she had met this guy when she moved in and they liked each other so they started dating and i just thought that was so beautiful because i was literally thinking that her life was over and not only was she still going to live but she

(25:36) was able to be surprised by something again to be excited about something again and you know there’s people who are listening to this at any age and they become calcified in their lives and they’re not willing to be excited or surprised and you don’t know what’s around the next corner you really don’t it can be anything even love so i ended up writing this piece and it’s called 85.

(26:06) okay i want to fall in love at 85. go on shuffleboard dates and dance to hip hop from 95 we would also listen to the song staying alive but only for the message otherwise we’d keep away from disco it’s depressing we’d rock matching track suits and rope gold chains we’d look like run dmc but in their old age we’d take aerobics classes and wear buy focal glasses and eat it ihop and hold hands at sunday masses and when it comes to the bedroom well nothing much would happen in the bedroom because we’re

(26:51) 85. we would still be down to take a walk or take a drive or sit and talk and have a drink watch the passersby ask each other why and how and who and where and when and then we’d laugh and cry again about the and i would touch her withered skin and comment on how thin it is to keep in something infinite and she would smile sweet and blush than tell me that i think too much she’s right i think too much it’s always been a problem but then again that’s how i made my green like the goblin when i was in my

(27:31) 20s i was eating top ramen counting up my pennies saving up to go food shopping but now i’m 85 and somehow i feel more alive i turned my hearing aid up and bumped jurassic five i read the sports page while she peruses classifies we like antique stores garage sales and barter buys when it comes to the bedroom well hopefully every once in a while lets me knock her boots into the floral patterns of our bedpost then hold her head close like death isn’t chasing us planning on erasing us and replacing us with better versions of us reshaping us

(28:18) remaking us then recreating us with new identities so we can make new memories hush little baby learn to walk and talk and think and lie and feel and fight and love and die and never get the answers why she dips a joint of grass and wheatgrass and we get high her hair is sober as the moon and the miami sky we still pop pills but it’s not the molly anymore whenever we can’t sleep we listen to the ocean floor she got a sound of the ccd for me from the brookstone store and ever since i’ve been snoring like a

(29:02) like a really good metaphor for snoring sorry i go blank sometimes what i’m 85 i’m not complaining i’m just happy that i’m still alive and happy that i have my better half by my side superfly she doesn’t look a day over 75 when i first saw her i was totally in awe she was classical so i was like yo yo ma that was all it took a single look and i was shocked i fell for like some loose shingles from our spanish roof and i’m a lover so she loses every last route and has to glue dentures to her

(29:50) gums to chew solid food oh now that’s real love dude that’s some push comes to shove love not when it’s convenient love hospital bed love feed her ice chips love never leave the room love sleeping in the chair love pray to up above love and still have to pull the plug love miss her in my bones love everything about her love die within a month love can’t live without her love love the only reason that we are alive none of us should have to wait until we’re 85.

(31:02) thank you i’m glad i listened to that right before i got on here because i already balled my eyes out to it so i didn’t i didn’t keep my composure what what did you feel or what did it make you think about it um something really current to me right now is with my husband we actually are doing this um practice i guess you can say uh which he’s already taken the time to do and it is to write down or however you want to make it really clear to yourself what your 80th birthday would look like in order to start kind of planning from

(31:47) there backwards you know and so that’s in the works in my mind right now so it’s very current for me of just picturing myself at 85 you know my relationship with my husband or if that is going to be part of 85 for me or the matter that it might be one of us isn’t alive at that point you know um but then on top of that we’ve just like last night i was in tears in a really bad place because i just feel like recently i have this unraveling of this story that i’ve created of what love is and it’s

(32:27) seems to not be any of those things like so that’s actually a question that i wanted to ask you is like what after doing all this work around love for so many years now and putting so many words to it do you have a definition for love um well it’s a ever evolving definition i mean i’ve been with my girlfriend for two years um so it’s relatively short you know in a lifetime and i still feel like i’m getting to know her um even though i’m madly in love with her i mean i’m just so unbelievably

(33:05) happy um but it’s not perfect you know nothing is and you have to work on it it’s it’s a part of being alive you know so i think it’s an ever-evolving definition for me um and it’s something that you know it’s taken me a lot of personal work to even be vibrating on the type of frequency that i had to be on to be attracted to and to attract someone so amazing into my life um and then realizing that there’s going to be seasons for that um and uh just trying to show up as the best version of myself throughout

(33:47) um i i heard a great piece of advice from a really good buddy in mind that has always really stuck with me um and i am able to apply it with various degrees to success and failure but um the advice is you know when you have something in a relationship that you can’t figure out how to work out you know instead of trying to work it out with the other person take a step back and live your absolute best life for a week you know whatever that is for you whatever that looks like you know meditating twice a day eating

(34:23) really really healthy you know working out making sure you’re hanging out with high vibrational people doing reading things that are really positive listening to podcasts that hopefully help you move in the right direction you know um and then usually when you come back you’ve changed and so the problem has changed um and i think oftentimes we try to fix things externally when really it has more to do with what’s going on on the inside yeah that’s really good and yeah it’s really good magic trick

(34:59) um i don’t know if i answered your question though no i mean i don’t know if there is an answer you answered mine i didn’t even ask it out loud i think my struggle is that i don’t think there is an answer it’s one of those things that’s the gray area you know that’s so uncomfortable to kind of deal with in our black and white minds brains i should say um so yeah i know we only have limited time with you so i could go on to on and on with that for a long time but i’m not going to i’m going to

(35:30) ask you in your workshops you teach participants how to redefine the moments that change their life so can you explain that process for us um yeah but i’m also happy to talk about the other stuff because i really don’t get to talk about the other stuff in other pockets i would love to talk about that stuff first of all i’m horrible at self-promotion well i am learning that you know this book is something i’m so proud of so i’m doing all of these podcasts because i get to meet amazing people such as

(36:03) yourselves and then i also get to promote something that i really believe in um but then in that people tend to ask the same questions and i tend to get the same answers can you feel them i believe in those answers but they just you know okay let’s dive into it so my biggest qualm right now with the word love is that i feel like the the way i’ve been defining it i guess or using it my entire life has essentially been replacing i love you it would be replaced with actually i love the way you validate my ego

(36:42) and then the other piece of that for me is that we fall in love or i fall in love with the potential of whether it be the relationship or even like the job or all it’s all false fantasy it’s potential it’s not the actuality of what’s happening whether it be in my partner or in any relationship um that’s not romantic but i mean specifically obviously romantic is what we deal with most close to the heart so yeah i don’t know do you have any thoughts around how we might be sometimes tricking ourselves to

(37:17) consider something love that’s actually just validation [Laughter] yeah um i think most people i can’t speak for anyone other than myself so i’ll just say for my experience rather than most people um you know my experience before when i was dating was that if i was looking for something serious i would meet somebody right and i would take like a few information points like a few things that i saw like maybe this person is beautiful and attractive to me i really like their style i like the things that they’re into

(38:09) you know we have this one thing in common oh that’s so meaningful to me too and i would take these connection points they’re funny whatever it is and then i would just basically like fill in the rest of the things that i wanted like into this projection that i then unconsciously put on to this other person yeah and they usually would be doing the same thing so we basically were falling in love with the projection of each other exactly and then down the road they don’t live up to my unexpressed and imaginary expectations

(38:54) and i resent them for it that’s basically you know how a lot of people i would say but i’ll speak for myself got into relationships and um that was a really bad cycle for me you know i remember i had this one time where i went through a breakup and i was like i’m gonna go home i talk about this in the book too it’s like i’m gonna go home and i’m gonna write a breakup poem so this is my thing i was gonna write my next breakup poem so i get home and like i’m about to start writing and

(39:31) i think you know maybe i should like look over all of my old breakup poems first so i read over them and i’m embarrassed to admit that there were nine of them not nine women i had some doubles in there but there was nine breakup homes which is basically 30 minutes of material so i sit there and i’m like reading 30 minutes of material about relationships that hadn’t worked out and when i finished i realized oh i don’t need to write a new breakup poem because all of my old breakup homes are unfortunately applicable to my current

(40:13) breakup so i was like i need to instead figure out why i continue to create the same lesson in a different disguise over and over and over again and that was a big turning point for me not only in my dating life but also in my writing because i almost realized that the fuel source i was using for my writing was unsustainable because it was actually perpetuating some of these old stories that i had in my mind and from then on i decided jay to your earlier question that i was always going to come back to uh positivity and hope

(40:57) you know and make sure that no matter what it was that i was exploring through my work even if it was the oriented poem rather than solution-minded i always wanted to wind up in a place where i either shocked people into being awake so that the next poem could be positive or that i ended the poem in a place where they felt empowered um and i think the more that i did that and the more that i took positive actions in my life as i said you know we’re all just vibrating energy so when your frequency changes what you

(41:28) are attracted to and what you’re attracting changes yeah um there’s so much anger tied to that idea that you spoke to of projecting just projecting onto other people projecting a potential to another person and then realizing later down the line that it was your i mean there’s anger that’s only for you to be responsible for i mean it’s anger that cannot be blamed on put on anybody else because you did that you know i did that um and so yeah getting i think figuring out how to what are the tools to get past

(42:09) first of all the anger of it and then to change that story so that you don’t continue the pattern and you don’t continue doing that did you have uh success yeah i think the anger is you’re you’re grieving the loss of something that you imagine right not you specifically but anyone i mean when you’re angry that a relationship didn’t live up to your expectations or you’re angry that you projected and didn’t realize it you have to still grieve whatever it is that you thought you had yeah i mean

(42:47) everyone wants to be in a loving relationship you want to you have so much love to give you find someone that you feel like you want to give all of your love to um and the love is real you know but um it’s actually seeing the person in front of you as separate and the other thing i would say is based on what you said about validation i mean i i totally relate to that every single person on the planet does i mean or i can’t say on the planet but i mean in american culture you know we’re literally trained

(43:21) consumerism trains us to seek our validation and our answers outside of ourselves um and so that’s the thing is when you start going on a date with somebody mostly people are just mirroring each other just you you do this and then i do this and then we you know it’s like actually seeing the person that’s in front of you and getting to know them um and so yeah i mean i i think uh i think finding a way to seek that validation from the inside out is is really um the move and it’s it’s the journey that we’re all on and there’s no

(44:03) destination yeah um you mentioned something earlier that stuck out to me about you finding your version of what masculinity really means and something on the show we talk about a lot is just the the sexual polarities the difference is the energetic dynamic of um both the masculine and the feminine the yin and yang the the alpha omega so what has been your journey to becoming the man you are today or becoming a man when it comes to like a healthy masculine energy thank you there’s a um there is a lag between us so i know we’re all like i

(44:49) know that i don’t know exactly where it’s coming from but i’m still very much enjoying talking to you guys um anyway so yeah i think it’s been a long process i mean i’ve made a lot of mistakes along the way you know um there are things that uh i’ve learned and when you learn you you do better you know and i think i you know look you’re never going to lose your ego because your ego is a part of your humanity everybody like talks about losing your ego that’s just not possible you know

(45:29) um not when you’re in this physical world i have desires i want to live a life of abundance i want to be successful i of course want people to like me who the [ __ ] doesn’t want to be like i mean but i think it’s learning not to operate from that place in a way where you lose your integrity or your authenticity um and i think i think for many years i was doing things unconsciously to find my validation outside of myself and you know there’s there’s never an end to that game you know and nobody wins

(46:14) because you’re always going to compare yourself you know it’s like think about it there’s never an end to more [Music] so if more is your goal more whatever you know i mean it’s just it’s not a realistic goal um and so i think the more that i uncovered some of the things that i was doing that i was unaware of the more i stepped more into my masculinity in in the way that i am right now but i’m still learning a lot of things you know my my partner my girlfriend has taught me so much you know uh learning to continue to be

(47:02) vulnerable um even after you get hurt and not to shut down you know um that was something that that she has really actively taught me and i think the more open that i am with her the more open i can be with the world you know and that’s really what i want i wanna uh be in the world with people we only have so much time here on the planet and you know if you look around you right now wherever you are in your rooms or anyone who’s listening to this i mean we are this world is [ __ ] amazing man i mean and yeah it’s scary and you know it’s

(47:46) sad and there’s trauma and but just the colors you know or the sounds or the taste the way the gravity holds you down you know um all the things you can do you you no one can control your mind you can go anywhere you want you can do anything that you want really you have full freedom you know to explore life how you see fit and you don’t need to live in anyone else’s idea of you or any societal prison or anything like that and so i just look at life and i go through the normal human experience of up and down but i also

(48:23) marvel at it i really truly do and we have this limited time that we get to experience this amazing thing and i want to be here i don’t want to be living in my projection of you know the past on to this moment you know you get triggered and then all of a sudden you’re like taking out your unresolved and unexpressed emotions on this moment where it literally has nothing to do with whatever it is you’re feeling and i don’t want to be thinking so much about the future that i’m not actually with you right now

(49:03) so there’s a lot more levels that i want to uncover in my own life but i just want to be here now which is the rondas book yeah do you have a practice that helps you to be here now like a grounding grounding tools that you use yeah i meditate twice every day um and i’ve been doing that for over four years and uh i never miss one i made it a non-negotiable practice um and i i use that word very purposely like non-negotiable because if something is negotiable you’ll negotiate i also heard negotiable i’ve heard you

(49:56) speak on running downhill like running down mountains when you hike on the way down to run because you have to be so present yeah misstep you’ll twist an ankle or something and i do that myself so it’s uh definitely something you have to be present with and so i mean your work too like speaking in front of a bunch of people and yeah being you know having to memorize and having to have these words come through you in a way that’s going to affect who you’re speaking them into has to be a really presence-forming

(50:28) uh mechanism for you or modality is that i mean is that teachable um which part getting into your body and grounding yourself enough so that when you’re let’s say it’s poetry so that when you are speaking the poetry you’re able to give all of yourself through those words yeah because your your words are like really they’re so felt like even here now i’m sure you’ve recited that poem so many times but when you were speaking it was like you were speaking up for the first time and we were feeling it with you

(51:04) thank you yeah because we’re in a new moment we’re in a new moment together you know so it is um yeah i don’t know i mean there’s the mile davis quote where he’s like took me a really really long time to learn how to play like myself well you know you know it’s something similar to that um i definitely think everyone’s a poet we’re all storytellers it’s a very very old art form you know and we’re all walking through the world using language to express how we think and what we feel

(51:51) um what is around us and what we want in the future um and so yeah it’s like i really really always encourage people to find ways to express themselves through art and specifically through poetry because that’s what i love so that’s why i do the workshops all around the country in the world just because i love giving people a plan to be able for their stories in a new way and to have an experience of falcon through art because they’re celebrated no matter what it is that they’re talking about when they’re on stage it’s

(52:34) an environment that is supportive and so they almost have a rock star experience telling a story that they might have never told anyone and that allows for a real release um but there’s other levels for me to uncover as a performer as well it’s not like i feel like i’ve reached the pinnacle i feel like still i’m just starting there’s um there’s many ways that i feel that i am the vehicle and the obstacle for my poems you know and it goes back to what we were discussing with validation you know i’m

(53:11) the vehicle because all of my poetry comes through my experiences it comes through my thoughts it comes from my emotions it comes from my voice and i mean my voice but also just my voice right right um and yet i’m also the obstacle because i want people to like it and my desire for them to like it gets in the way of the communication it doesn’t help it actually blocks people from being able to fully hear what the poem wants to say and that’s in the sharing of it and in the creating of it because sometimes i’ll be creating something and

(53:55) i’ll write something that i think is really great but it’s not right it’s like great but it has more to do with my ego and this [ __ ] that i think i wrote then it has to do with what the poem wants to say the poem doesn’t want to say that he wants to say something different and so i have to be the vehicle for that poem you know and cross out the [ __ ] that i thought was good to go back to what’s actually right for the poem i noticed when i’m the obstacle and i try to remove myself out of the way

(54:34) and then in the sharing of it it’s similar because i can get on stage or be talking to you guys right now and of course i want to be as in my body and in the moment and in my heart as i can as i’m sharing it but i also of course you know i want to sell my book i think it’s a [ __ ] dope book you know i believe in it i want to get it out to the world you know we’re buying a house right now you know of course i have things that i want but those things get in the way of me fully giving away the poem

(55:12) to you guys and i feel that if i could get to a place where i was fully just the vehicle in a moment at least then it would be you know pure which is what i’m always seeking we have had a channel a man who channels spirit guides i don’t know you’ve hung around maybe aubry marcus some so you may have heard of paul selleck um yeah we’ve had him on twice he was amazing paul selig we’ve had on twice he’s the the channel and what you’re speaking of here kind of sounds essentially like the same way he talks

(55:49) about the spirit guides coming through him and he has to figure out how to get out of the way because his ego wants to you know gain fame from this uh ability to have psychic clairvoyance and wants to have its own say in what the subject and the topic is that the the spirit guides you know whether you believe in that or not are are speaking through him um but i wanted to know in doing that practice of figuring out how to get the ego out of the way when you’re writing a poem what do you have a qualifying system for

(56:20) what line stays in or stays out or how do you read through what is your ego and what isn’t you feel it somehow yeah i think it’s intuition you know and um [Music] you know you can hear it when you’re writing you can hear it when you’re painting you can hear it when you’re singing you can hear it when you’re dancing and you can also hear it in line at the grocery store um the problem is is that in this society you know when we’re talking about consumerism training us to look outside of ourselves

(56:56) for the answer right you know everything is constantly trying to take from you it’s trying to take your likes it’s trying to take your attention it’s trying to take your money it’s trying to take your love it’s trying to take your time which you can’t make more of and you can’t buy more of and even it’s trying to take your information these days you know and if if i don’t know something you know what do i do i i look outside of myself i i like look on google to figure it out or i consult a coach

(57:38) you know or i go on youtube and technology is an amazing thing i mean it really has connected the world in ways that were unimaginable a hundred years ago um and i think it’s beautiful and it has so much potential and there’s been so many amazing things that have been brought to the reality of the internet but i also think there’s a difference between using your tools and having your tools use you yeah i love your poem i ever since i heard that poem i let my kids jump on the couch [Laughter] that’s a great compliment

(58:16) my favorite compliment is it’s great when someone comes up to me after shows and they say oh i thought this or i felt this i’m always super grateful that anyone resonates with my work always but when someone says i did something that was positive for me in my life off of one of your poems it’s like i feel like that is the best feeling ever someone that i showed your poem to last night about voting he voted today because of your poem wow that’s amazing please and that’s just two stories that you’ve heard of right

(58:51) now i mean yeah it’s countless no please tell them i said that that means so much to me you know and look that’s the whole point is we can’t quantify what technology does what the ripple effect is you know you guys have this podcast there’s no way for you to quantify the impact or influence that you have on people every time you put something out i mean it’s really unfathomable that we’re all sitting in different places right now communicating and then it’s going to go out to x amount of people

(59:22) that are out there that we’ve never met and possibly will never meet but number one i’ll tell each and every one of you i [ __ ] love you and i want amazing things for you and i would say you know if you have something that’s going on right now that you can’t figure out you know certainly you can ask a friend you know or you can consult a coach but also i would suggest that you find some time to just be by yourself and just sit in the silence because there’s so much noise in our society and

(59:57) in our culture and in consumerism right now that we can’t hear our own voices yeah you know so it’s like sit in nature just be by yourself and that’s why i wrote this book it’s called inquire within because i had to inquire within myself to create the poems people have to inquire within the book in the pages and they have to inquire within themselves and my highest hope is that this book winds up being a window into people hearing their own voice because that is the voice that is going to set

(1:00:31) them straight and lead them towards whatever it is that they’re enthusiastic and passionate about hmm yeah i feel like you answered all of our questions without us asking you them yeah you just talk we’ll just sit here and listen i talk way too much well we’re all benefiting yeah my girlfriend and i argue she will [ __ ] attested it you’ll die try for like 15 minutes straight a minute and then you jump back in [Music] because i don’t mean to do that and she knows that i just yeah listening is like when you are the

(1:01:14) voice you know in your work on a daily basis that is what your kind of practice is is listening one of your hardest obstacles what’d you say is listening one of your hardest obstacles what did you say i’m sorry i didn’t you can’t mess with us um sometimes yeah sometimes i think it depends upon who it is and my mood and you know i mean i can definitely sit with someone and just ask them questions like i’m very curious like what’s going on with both of you i could very easily just listen or

(1:01:56) you know i’m interested in people that’s where in inquiry in queue was short for inquiry and that was a name that was given to me when i was like 15 years old and my friends just started calling me in q and then it became in question and uh it’s a life philosophy i mean i really question everything so i love people i love you know i’m so curious about who people are and how they are um but it listening is something that i i still need to work on you know have you spent a lot of time studying you know philosophy or

(1:02:34) psychology or anything that trick you know piqued your interest and then also helped your work along and maybe you’re like a lot of uh you know i’ve certainly read a lot of books but i’m not by any means an academic and you know dropped out of uh i mean i went to san fran state for one year and then came back i was at smc for like six months i got in a fist fight on campus i was like a mad you know younger younger man and uh and then i was like i’m out of here you know and i just went and pursued art

(1:03:12) and uh you know so i’m definitely not like researched on philosophy or psychology but i’ve had a therapist for a really long time and i’ve got many many coaches and i’ve read many many books so i think i’ve kind of been my own guinea pig and that i’ve learned from my own life i try to put into my work so that you know i can mirror that back onto whoever is listening yeah um yeah i um we always have a magic mob question and this week it’s do you know milk she sung she does the word the song

(1:03:52) quiet she just came out with a song called if i run if i ran the world okay i don’t know her and i’m embarrassed to say that milk m-i-l-c-k so i’ll look her up because i think you’d love her work um she’s uh her question is really similar to what mercedes just asked you but she just wanted to know because you do talk about such complex issues in your art she was curious what your workflow what your creative workflow is you know everything has been at least in the last year focused on the book um because this is literally the

(1:04:28) first home that i’ve ever had for my art i’ve never had a product i have always been living breathing documents and i would show up and perform them and then i would disappear and as i would change and evolve i would edit the pieces you know so they would change and evolve and this is the first time that i’ve collected all of my material into one place and had to make sure that every word was something to the best of my ability i would want to stand behind in 20 years or 30 years um so everything for me has been

(1:05:02) i think channeled artistically creatively towards creating the best home of my art that i possibly could create um and i’m excited now that i can get this out to the world because i’m curious what it is that i’ll be passionate about writing next um you know when people say oh what’s your favorite poem i’m always like the next one yeah you know and then that doesn’t mean it’s the best poem doesn’t have anything to do with best it has to do with you know what’s your favorite poem well

(1:05:39) the one that’s closest to creation right no so i to answer the question that was a long answer but uh to actually answer the question uh when i’m writing i write um when i’m inspired now i i don’t i’ve put in so many hours which is very very important in learning your craft but at a certain point it’s almost detrimental force yourself to create you know if i can’t figure out how to finish a poem sometimes i just think well i probably need to go live more you know i’ll go on a trip or i’ll do

(1:06:19) something that takes me out of my comfort zone and challenges me and then all of a sudden i’ll know where the poem needs to go um so yeah i mean if you’re putting in your hours write as much as you possibly can you know paint as much as you possibly can and then when you’ve reached a point where you really do feel like you know how to play like yourself then play when you want to play because then you’ll still be playing it won’t be work you know you don’t want your play to become your work to the point where

(1:06:58) you don’t even remember that it was play right um so my workflow is uh whenever it comes i just like i’m grateful and then i’ll just go into a little hole and get out as much as i can you know i feel like i do that to everything that i that i have passion for i turn it into such hard work that it becomes not fun anymore but that goes back to what we were talking about with how you know residing more in your masculine or feminine and not being balanced maybe there and that’s some definitely something i struggle with

(1:07:32) this podcast we turn into really hard work but then we get to have conversations like this with like this and um you know sessions with paul selig and things like that to where it’s always it’s so life-giving at the same time yeah what do you think what do you think makes it such hard work for each of you and how do you think you could approach it in a in a different way uh for me i’m a single mom of two toddlers and i um need to be better at time management right um i stay home with them so that i can be

(1:08:06) around them but then i’m around them and i’m on my phone editing an episode and choosing the promo material and um i just need to be better at time management and i haven’t mastered that yeah and for me it’s similar with time management but it’s also um putting you know we’re putting so much into this and it’s not financially something that gives us much back yet and hopefully that changes but it fills us up so much you know as far as passion goes um so that’s what we’ve been literally

(1:08:37) living off of when it comes to this but i you know work several other jobs so to support this as my hobby essentially um and it does come down to time management but it also comes down to people taking us seriously that we employ because we have employed lots of people at this point to assist but i think our personas maybe out in the world as sexy models and that type of thing is a real hindrance to us when it comes to trying to get people to take us seriously and maybe just because the podcast people feel like well lots of

(1:09:10) people have podcasts i don’t know yeah their struggles we’re still navigating yeah no i i definitely hear what both of you said yeah for sure yeah we’ll get there we love it so you’re doing it i mean you’re you’re absolutely doing it i mean we’re what a what an interesting thing to have a conversation and now all of a sudden it’s content yeah this is a good piece of art that we’re here together you know messy clean doesn’t really matter it’s you know it’s something that

(1:09:45) that you guys have created the space for and it’s a beautiful thing thank you thank you for that so we don’t want to let you go ever so um we won’t so we’ll just keep talking but we have a few short questions like to ask everyone who comes on the show so we’re gonna get into those this um the first one is if you could hug your younger self right now what would you say it’s gonna be all right and how old are you like 35 no that’s my age um i don’t know like uh i was thinking probably around that eight eight eight

(1:10:33) eight yeah i had this uh this experience when i was eight where we knew where my dad was and uh i have a poem about my dad in the book actually but uh we knew where he was right and so i had this deal with my mom where i could send him like a father’s day card when i was like eight i guess so i was like super excited about this for like a year like i would talk about it and i have very vague and ambiguous memories of my childhood like i really don’t remember very much but i remember this like feeling of excitement about it

(1:11:12) and so i finally wrote the card i sent it to him and i would go out to the mailbox every single day and just like wait for some sort of response so i have to ask my mom i don’t remember whether it was a return to sender or it just never came but at a certain point it was like very clear that he was not interested in responding and so at the time i was a big big basketball fan and michael jordan was like my father in my mind like he was like my hero you know and my mom loved the movie beaches remember this movie oh you love that i

(1:11:53) used i watch it all the time okay so you are the wind beneath my wings yeah this thing so she got the soundtrack to this and so she’s gone one day and i take this you know i take the tape and i put it in and i get it to you’re the wind beneath my wings and i unroll my michael jordan poster and i literally sang you are the wind the michael jordan poster and in the end i’m like fly so high you know thank you thank you thank god for you beneath my wings and then i literally i had a tear you know fall down and one single tear

(1:12:42) i mean that’s the cinematic yeah i don’t really remember but i remember that i was emotional and and i was gonna hug uh an age i would probably hug that age you know yeah that sounds like uh i feel like eight eleven twelve those are common years we have people envision where they’re going through like one of their really first tough times that is so transformative you know yeah um yeah but i think we could all use hearing that right now too yeah thank you for sharing that story um did you want to share that poem by

(1:13:24) the way i choked up why did you get a monkey um i don’t know i it just really resonated for me my birth dad was in jail my um childhood and so i would write them and not hear back um and that song um ended up the man who i i i got married young and divorced young but the man who walked me down the aisle we danced to that song so it was like a double whammy wow yeah that’s crazy that’s beautiful though thank you for sharing that yeah yeah closer to you that you shared that yeah i think that’s another thing by the

(1:14:02) way just and this is a bit of a tangent but like in general you know people look at vulnerability as weakness and now there’s this whole new movement of vulnerability is your strength and i i really like believe that and you know not vulnerable in an environment that right no you you need to you know step into it you know and with a different energy but in general like a lot of times we’re scared of being vulnerable because of old environments that we were in that are not like a part of our life anymore

(1:14:38) yeah you know and so that’s the thing that i always say to the people that i’m teaching workshops with like you saying that just made me feel closer to you like i was like oh cool you know and and if i want other people to be vulnerable in a workshop i find that i have to be vulnerable first it’s it’s almost irresponsible for me to ask a group of people to be vulnerable unless i’m willing to be vulnerable and you know to anyone who’s listening to this if you’re vulnerable to someone in

(1:15:06) your life or like somebody that you’ve just met and they don’t respond well or they’re not vulnerable back they’re probably a [ __ ] [ __ ] yeah and then you don’t have to hang out with them anymore it’s almost a shortcut to deciding whether or not you want to have more intimacy yeah so uh just something to keep in mind but i appreciate you sharing that yeah mercedes um and our our close friends um always say that i’m the most vulnerable like that vulnerable would be the word that they use to describe me um that it

(1:15:40) like almost worries them because i get so vulnerable and i do feel really really open um but because i open up so quick um and i’m so um just i guess the word vulnerable would be the only way to use um i have opened up myself to a lot of pain um that i wouldn’t have had had i been a little bit more weary um and i don’t feel currently i don’t feel very vulnerable because i just uh went through some betrayal so i’m learning to be vulnerable even to those who have hurt us um well let me say one more thing off of

(1:16:18) that though because like definitely like you should always give somebody else the opportunity and the space to grow and change they should find a way ultimately to have compassion but that doesn’t mean that they have to grow and change with you know if if people show up to you in a way that shows you who they are in that moment sometimes too much happens you need to cut them off and move on with your life you know and figure out the reasons that you brought that in so that you can find a way to be empowered whether or not you understand

(1:16:51) it um you know but you don’t deserve that whatever that is so um you know i think like the grieving process is a whole process or a reason and you have to go through those stages yeah um to arrive in empowerment and if you try to skip any stages you know it actually winds up just suppressing that inside of you that’s true you know so yeah we have to do that shadow work yeah yeah okay so the next uh staple question that we have is if you could have the whole world read one book which would it be inquire within

(1:17:33) no i love empire within and it’s it’s uh yeah i mean i’m so so excited about this book i really would not be more excited i haven’t been more excited about a book since toms came out oh you’re so nice thank you uh life’s operating manual since that book i haven’t been more excited about a book since right not the bad wolf yeah yeah yeah that that was the main thing in that um love and fear dialogues you’re in truth dialogues fear and truth yeah same thing um i would say you know it’s very cliche but i i think

(1:18:16) that um the profit is is yeah it’s by my bed yeah yeah a couple books of poetry are by my bed too um daniel doby i am her tribe yeah that one oh you’d love it and then soon tomorrow [Laughter] um the and each time you read it it’s so different yeah you know aubrey marcus actually posted something today that said you’ll never watch the same movie twice i saw that and every person sees a different movie exactly you know so anytime i sit down to the prophet i bring something new you know to this thing that is already there

(1:19:15) that’s why you know i have a line that says the art is more important than the artist is and i really believe that like and that’s why i’m so excited about my book is because i finally have something that i can give to other people and now i can have a whole new life for them my poetry has already saved my life in many ways and now it can be whatever it needs to be or not be for anyone who decides to read it or not read it you know it’s all good it’s not even business but it has a life of its own now and i’m

(1:19:49) i’m just excited for for people to experience it in their way i’m so excited for it i think to having like a physical legacy you know that you can leave there also just feels like part of what we need to do while we’re here you know like something do you have children yet no we’re uh so that’s your baby right now but we uh you know i’m i’m very very happy yeah i just meant that that’s your baby this book is your new horn for sure yeah i um started writing poetry when i was around 10 because that’s when i

(1:20:28) started struggling with um depression so strongly and with suicidal thoughts and i would pour it into poetry um and it was really the only thing that i felt like people told me i was good at and so i felt really validated through it too um but there were other poems that i read that weren’t mine that kept me alive and so the way that your poetry has kept you alive i feel like it’s also keeping a lot of other people alive and you have no idea so that’s that’s really nice thank you yeah yeah so if you could whisper one phrase or

(1:21:00) maybe one poem to everyone on the planet what would it be um if i could do one poem to everyone on the planet what would it be well right now would be uh the poem about climate change probably because it is the biggest existential threat to humanity um but then uh there’s another poem called learned fear that’s more about people finding their own voice and uh so on an individual level i would probably choose learned fear okay and on a collective level i would i would choose one little dot yeah before we let you go

(1:21:43) will you share one of those with us either uh yeah sure do you guys have a preference um you you choose one and then maybe yeah you choose one and then maybe we’ll um find a recording of the other one and play it when you get off okay cool learned fear can be overcome when you realize the voice inside your head is not yours it’s an imitation of the voices from before repeating on a loop inside your quiet core receiving since your youth when your choices weren’t even yours perceiving was the proof but reality has

(1:22:25) many doors so why are we still fighting other people’s wars learned fear can be overcome when you realize the voice inside your head is not yours it’s an imitation of the voices from before repeating repeating repeating on a loop inside your quiet core and you can’t tell the difference because it sounds the same but trust me when i tell you most of what you think is from somebody else’s brain they have us trained shackled by imaginary chains imaginary rules for imaginary games but they don’t know the reasons either so

(1:23:05) where should we place the blame and who is they any way when we’re all the same our parents had parents and their parents had parents apparently it hurts to see so i’ll be transparent the world is so much bigger than your insecurities and they don’t speak on your behalf without your soul’s authority the world is so much bigger than your culture or community and they don’t speak on your behalf without your soul’s authority because if it’s all a story then nobody else can tell it for me

(1:23:45) since i’m always transforming i defy a category when you do the same thing the same way it’s habit forming but nothing in this land of woman and man is mandatory it’s all just transitory our world’s a laboratory experimenting on today can change tomorrow morning and since matter is mostly empty space we’re in a sea of consciousness where the boundaries are erased so i stared at my reflection until i couldn’t see my face then i picked myself and put the flowers in an empty vase if you came for

(1:24:25) validation then you’re in the wrong place the only certain satisfaction is becoming what you’ve chased and there’s no running from the inner voice so it’s important that you choose but it’s more important that you know you have a choice you have a choice are you living someone else’s life you have a voice does it haunt you in the dead of night would you fly if you weren’t convinced to be afraid of heights and who convinced you anyway they had no [ __ ] right no one condemn your light

(1:25:08) you shine within so bright that you could blind the sun from sight and scare him back into the night no one can dim your light i said it twice because you’re greater than the circumstances that surround your perfect life you’re not your nature or your nurture you’re a prototype and if you hone it right eventually you’ll hack your satellite a little left a little to the right just right at first it’s nothing then nothing turns into a whisper turn the dive and it gets crisper and you’re transistor

(1:25:53) wait a while and the whisper turns into a screen it overwhelms your system and you won’t know what it means but pump the volume up and it can tell you all your dreams till pretty soon it’s the only voice you’ll ever need now you have to do is listen when you want to lead your fear disintegrates when you decide to stop and breathe it’s your authentic voice and no matter where you go it never leaves and that’s god no matter what religion you believe i’m starting my own religion and everyone is welcome

(1:26:39) but nobody can join if you did you’d miss the point thank you so much yes where can people hear more find you online and get your book um so yeah you can get the book on my website which is i n q dot com nq.com and uh we partnered up with harpercollins uh for this book and so it should be at all local you know barnes and nobles and you know independent stores we tried to get it in as many independent stores as we could and then of course you can get it on amazon and then also we have the audiobook and they’re two very different

(1:27:32) experiences because um inquire within we have all of these uh amazing illustrations we had a guy named musta shariq um create 60 illustrations for the books the book helps like draw people in so it’s almost like a shell silverstein type of an experience in that way um and uh and i’m really really proud of the way it’s all laid out and then the audiobook you know it’s two and a half hours of me reading the poems wow it really took it seriously like i really wanted to you know do as much justice to the

(1:28:08) pieces as i could so we took an extra long amount of time to get them right and i’m really really proud of the audiobook and excited for it um and so you can get one of those you can get both of those this is a really great gift for people yeah um and we’re trying to get on the new york times bestsellers list and we’re on our way so well um hopefully people are moved by it and and supported and um and then obviously on social media you could just reach out to me at inq life and if you buy the book let me know

(1:28:41) tag me in it let me know what you think of it and um um i’m gonna i’m happy to stay in contact with both of you guys i’m gonna find you and make sure i follow you immediately you’re very so lovely to talk to you both yeah it was a great conversation i feel like we missed out on so much too because i know we could go into like psychedelics with you and all kinds of other stuff that we would love to touch on so we might have to have a part two sometime down the line we’re sure we’ll do it um have you heard of mountain film

(1:29:09) yeah and tell you right yeah we’ll be there with tom um at the end of may and but this year’s um theme last year was equity this year it’s young visionaries so i think you would really enjoy it if you’d like to join i know um tom buys 100 passes every year and he just hands them out to everybody so if you and your girlfriend would like to come he would love for you guys to be there thank you yeah i mean we’ll we’ll look at the schedule everything is crazy with the book stuff yeah i bet we’re just on

(1:29:36) this unbelievable yeah thing but um but i would love to and i’ve been uh to mountain film before and i have absolutely loved it yeah with a friend of mine charlie ebersole and actually i saw tom there i know yeah they’re like the mayor he’s yeah he’s the mayor of the town during telluride’s parade on new year’s day they have someone dress up as tom and throw out fake money yeah that’s hilarious um but yeah i’m sure that they could also um because jedidiah jenkins is a long time yeah so he did a book signing

(1:30:11) last year at mountain film so i’m sure they would love to have you um i can connect you if you want um do a book signing there um that’d be cool that’d be really cool yeah so i’ll email all that to kevin wonderful well thank you guys both so much if you have any last questions i’m happy to answer them but i’ve really enjoyed spending uh you know an hour and some change yeah what was that climate um one the one little dot one little dot okay right yeah that’s different than uh save the planet

(1:30:42) or s what is the other one called something no that that’s the same piece there’s a company that we use to help market some of these videos and so they come up with really better catchier tighter yeah you know what’s going on in there i get it but because you said one little dot amazing well you are just a gem and we are so lucky to have got you on i’m really looking forward to figuring out a way that we can do this again receive a mountain film or i don’t know we gotta we’re gonna become buddies somehow

(1:31:21) [Laughter] yeah absolutely thank you guys very much for having me on your platform because i know that your audience trusts you and it’s a relationship you’ve developed over time so i honor that i acknowledge that and i appreciate you creating space for me and for empowerment thank you thank you for being a light thank you so bye much oh well jade whoo we did that i know done it’s almost sad to check him off the list i know well we’ll do a part two right can our listeners tell you everything i know i still have tears on my face i

(1:32:09) really um i really feel like in the clouds from that um oh it was really special i think it will uh affect a lot of people in a really well really good way hmm yeah and his words really make back to it i know and not the best part that’s what i love about tom shady x episode is i get like i love when i miss him i get to hear us talk to each other that’s so cool never think about like one day if one day you know when you’re gone long you know long time from now hopefully very very long time from now your kids can listen

(1:32:48) back to like you and your best friend tom and and all talking together and be like yeah that was my oven i hope she had a show and this is what they did her and my aunt mercedes yeah and uncle tom yeah well what we could go on and on but what is your magic trick all right so my magic trick today is very simple if you haven’t got it the message already from the show today it’s to do what i do i’m going to do which is to order or buy inquire within in q’s book that we’ve you know discussed over and over because

(1:33:29) it is lit y’all we need to be honest i have the hard copy by my bed and i’m out of the audio but just playing on repeat in your ear yeah exactly i can’t i mean that’s like a really tough choice even picking between the two because of course just do both poems i know well i i often um put just type nq onto youtube on my tv and i just let it play like i just let it play while i’m cleaning or whatever i i do that with him and with east forest and with ramdas so i just let that play i love it and i’ll just be

(1:34:00) like you know i’m not actually watching the tv but i’m like i’m hearing their words and um such positive just frequency coming out of the words and the yeah even just like their voice you know makes you feel like okay what we’re gonna hear something that’s nourishing right now i saw like it turns you into tuning into that and i think also hearing him say it out loud you’re you’re like you attuned to it but you’re also like yeah no that’s that’s right i can do that yeah let’s go do that now

(1:34:28) you know actionable right yeah like so it doesn’t feel heavy exactly it doesn’t feel like well [ __ ] now what am i going to do it’s like let’s do this like you’re amped up it’s motivating i love it and he’s so um he he’s so human that it’s not like he’s preaching it or he’s um he’s judging when he’s telling you to go do something you know or how to live uh and it just he’s he’s so human and vulnerable and raw with all of it that it yeah it just feels like

(1:35:01) yeah okay me too you know like it completely attainable like you said which is my magic trick is to go watch some of his youtube videos where he so beautifully articulates his poetry um and in the meantime we will close with one little dot like we promised them yeah okay forgot to say one little piece so in case this can fit into my magic trick um it will be to so my magic trick is to do what i’m gonna do which is something we’ve been pitching throughout the whole show and that is to either go order or go into the store and buy

(1:35:44) inquire within which is in q’s book and read a poem every night or each time maybe you’re in the bathroom like i do it activist style poop activist style um or if you’re gonna if you’re gonna buy the uh audiobook or both you know you could always listen to one poem at a time and then and let that mean again yeah and let it digest that and integrate that into your life a little yeah okay that’s perfect okay recording i wish that we could do our whole podcast every month yeah every month this is the layout okay

(1:36:23) tom shadiak paul selig eric gotzi and q and that goes with the order of our hormonal cycle phases four phases yeah we might have to switch it around yeah every month those four yep yeah who’s getting menstrual weak i want to know oh but that seriously sounds like the perfect polyamorous marriage i think you just described so write that down emily are you writing that down will you for marry us my husband might be listening to this guys which week do you want sign up like it’s a a meal drive yeah who pulled the

(1:37:04) shortest straw or whatever okay