(00:01) okay we’re good to go okay our guest today devotes his life to sharing insights and strategies to create an inspired life and find true freedom by awakening new levels of awareness he helps to redesign the subconscious mind that drives behavior and performance and ultimately all results he uses the wisdom of ayurveda to help people find balance through diet and lifestyle he has worked with entertainers professional athletes as well as global organizations he most recently was on gwyneth paltrow’s goop podcast and is

(00:32) featured in the incredible documentary heel he is a true wellness pioneer and mind architect he has a thought leader in human potential and performance and he’s here to help us unlock the best version of ourselves by breaking free of our own limiting habits i’m so excited to welcome peter crone to the magic hour [Music] no pressure sounds like a lot of work to do uh so peter you speak a lot about freedom and that being your main product yeah so right now people are quarantined all over the world and on lockdown as are we

(01:09) and for some of us it feels like we’re in a personal prison of fear and uncertainty and panic so what are your thoughts on what’s happening right now um well i mean with regards to what people are going through personally like that or like externally like because i can address the personal prison or the general theme of coronavirus yeah well i mean i think this conversation anyway so wherever you want to start well i think you know the personal prison thing is um i i think it’s interesting that this is

(01:42) sort of like the great equalizer right now in terms of everybody is being forced into the confines of their own home right so it’s sort of metaphorically like everybody’s being asked to step into their own cocoon um the irony is like they feel they’re sort of trapped they feel like they’re in a prison but i’d actually assert it’s just revealing the prison that was already there right so it’s in the absence of distraction or busyness that people are actually now being left with the constraints that they perhaps never had

(02:12) to really look at so we could actually sort of say that this is a great opportunity to address what was an otherwise ever-present visible prison that most people were just oblivious to so that’s why i think there is a lot of discomfort there’s a lot of fear a lot of anxiety a lot of frustration coming to the surface but i think it’s uh all part of our evolution as a species so that’s the opportunity you know yeah the slowing down is kind of forcing us to look inward for sure yeah i think the fear also like just being a

(02:46) you know a single mom at the fear also comes a lot of um being okay financially for a lot of people i think that um the feeling of uncertainty not knowing when people are gonna work again if they’re gonna get let go um that’s a lot for people to deal with too yeah i think there’s two kind of aspects to this right like you could look at the emotional aspect and then the practical aspect um practically you know there are people who are struggling like financially and literally right and so for that i just

(03:18) have love and compassion and i know that doesn’t necessarily do much for people right other than that i’m a caring guy and people in my own community i will help and i do whatever i can financially to support them um so there’s that sort of what you’ve got to deal with like the literal handling of life is one opponent right and certainly a lot of people are having to handle a lot right now um but the emotional part is really what i address right because so it’s just the practicality of being a human being

(03:46) paying rent buying food taking care of yourself um so assuming that you’re at least in a realm of uh being sufficient there like you know we don’t have to be saturated we’re not all millionaires but as long as you’re able to at least get food and keep your place then we can look at okay what’s actually creating your suffering has got to be the emotional component it’s got to be the way that i’m reacting to circumstance right that’s where we actually can find some true power and that’s my forte is to help

(04:14) people recognize where they’re resisting life and that’s creating suffering so it’s i it’s important to be able to distinguish it too because i think sometimes people misunderstand um experts saying oh yeah well don’t worry about fear and blah blah blah and they’re not really addressing the practicality of some people’s literal life right so that that warrants attention it warrants compassion and it warrants support wherever it can but assuming you know people aren’t in life-threatening situations then we can

(04:41) look at okay what is your brain telling you about the current events that is creating your own unrest right that’s self manufacture so basically what i’m hearing from you is once we’ve established that we have the basic needs covered yeah um and we have that sense of safety then whatever else is going on inside of us is coming from somewhere else yes and even you know like if you want to be super powerful even at the extremes of let’s just say somebody truly is at the uh at their wit’s end financially or

(05:13) physically meaning they’ve been let go of a job they don’t know how they’re going to pay rent and there really is the likelihood of them having to move out live with a friend moving back with their parents in a couple of months like even those events aren’t life-threatening they’re inconvenient they’re frustrating they’re not you know undesirable but there’s still going to be an emotional component in the way that i deal with that right uh if we were to look at many families in developing countries where

(05:41) they live in slums and there’s like three families and one sort of shack you know they they might through relativity look at somebody’s situation here who’s complaining and go wow it’s like they hit the jackpot right so it’s still relativity i would still i just have a lot of compassion because in the west world we you know we become a little bit complacent and accustomed to a pretty luxurious way of living so i still want to you know pay tribute to the people who potentially could be losing their homes

(06:10) right they’re going to be okay it’s not ideal i certainly quote wouldn’t enjoy losing my home but deep down my emotional state’s not going to change there’s just stuff that i have to handle you know and then there’s a deeper appeal to trust that we’ll figure it out and it might take six months it might take a year but then we’ll be somewhere else and it’s okay you know that’s a totally different reaction to adversity yeah absolutely it’s like we’re responding to

(06:39) a loss of identity when you’re talking about like suddenly we’re having to move out of our home or whatever it is that feels very uncomfortable right for our ego self it’s like we’re now having to look at the reality of this identity i had that was tied to this house and these things and whatever it is is not actually what’s going on now and that’s uncomfortable for sure and what it’s actually triggering these deep constraints of concern and fear right so it’s really appealing to the fact that

(07:08) there is this belief that we’re not going to be okay we’re not going to make it and that’s a primal instinct right and that’s really what’s being triggered it’s not the actual circumstances themselves that are creating the angst or the anxiety or the fear it’s the primal pattern for survival yeah and we’re just collapsing our survival with our circumstance and that’s that’s where the brain you know misleads people um it’s not it’s not an actual truth yeah it might be inconvenient it might be a

(07:36) pain in the ass it might not be what you want as i said but you’re gonna be okay you know yeah how do we what about resisting where we are sorry jade um the the stopping of the resisting is ironically recognizing there’s a part of us as humans that does resist right so it seems like a little bit of a sort of schizophrenic way of looking at it it’s not that you have to stop resisting it’s through deeper awareness that there is a part of your humanity that’s designed to resist the ego your persona whatever you

(08:08) want to call it is built on these these deep-seated beliefs of inadequacy and insecurity so from that perspective there’s always going to be resistance so it’s noticing ah there’s part of me that gets scared there’s part of me that is designed to survive and therefore i’m gonna be in some state of resistance but what my work is is to be able to transcend that to integrate that and discover the freedom on the other side of that very primal um human way of surviving which is most people you know that’s an entirely

(08:39) different approach right it’s not like oh mercedes you’ve got to stop resisting it’s like no notice that your little girl your ego based on the way that she’s been conditioned over the years has got this deep-seated fear around fill in the blank and so you’re going to feel potential threat when fill in the blank comes into your surroundings yeah yeah it makes me think about um actually a book i’m reading right now called uh the body keeps the score which is a beautiful book but this idea of uh what you’re talking

(09:09) about here feels like to me multiple personality not but the idea that we all have these different parts of ourselves these personalities that live inside of us and if we can see them as something all pieces of us that are there to essentially keep us safe or at some time we’re there to created we created in order to keep us safe we can look at them like hey i see why you’re rising up right now you know the little girl inside of me that’s scared or whatever it is yeah and i understand why you were

(09:39) necessary but right now you know we’re looking at the facts and it’s not needed at this moment and we can be the the inner judge or the inner watcher that kind of allows for what to rise up when we need it yeah i mean we could call that your bigger self your adult self your more mature self your spiritual self like i delineate really the difference between soul and ego is the way that i do it so ego points to the part of us that by design is scared right it’s actual structure what it’s made up of are these

(10:07) constraints and therefore its relationship to life is always going to be around some aspect of threat and therefore it’s trying to survive right so you know jade’s taking a nice deep breath there maybe mechanisms and then then there’s the part of us that is we could call our soul or our bigger self which is the awareness of that component so oh i can see that i have a tendency towards whatever it is when somebody of authority when somebody of fame or wealth comes into my space i feel this sense of inadequacy and i can remember

(10:43) because i grew up in a family that wasn’t wealthy that you know my friends who had very successful parents i always felt inadequate you know like i’m making this [ __ ] up obviously right but you can start to see where the pattern got created through no fault of any kid but it’s still that that’s driving the show even as an adult and then you notice oh wow why is it that i feel nervous in this particular situation well it’s because triggering a pattern that you haven’t yet reconciled that is

(11:11) just simply part of your identity which is totally fine but that to me is the joy of you know this work is transcending that which that holds us back yeah the subconscious level what about um your thoughts on the external part of what’s going on with the virus uh it’s complete nonsense yeah no i’m being treated um i don’t know i mean look the way i look at it is i think it’s a massive overreaction first off um i don’t i’m not want to point fingers we don’t know what we don’t know and so i think it’s the blind

(11:49) leading the blind right now um i think as part of the experience of being human our body is immaculately designed to deal with things like viruses right we’ve been exposed to viruses for thousands of years and and this is no different maybe it has a slightly different makeup and for that reason our body needs a little time to assimilate um but i think way way way more people have had it than their listing um i think you know never let the facts get in the way of a good story is kind of going on in the media right now right so

(12:25) the mortality rates are getting and um exaggerated um never let a good crisis go to waste right you know it’s like people are benefiting right and i don’t i’m not somebody to get into conspiracy theories i think there’s a lot out there that people because they have so much time at home i’m sure most people have seen most of the videos that go around i do believe there’s an element of truth to all of it um but again it’s you take it with a pinch of salt so the way i look at it is okay this is part of life

(12:53) unfolding i trust life i don’t trust humans per se but humans are part of life right and i think there are people with agendas i think people are driven by fear um i think people do have their own ulterior motives at times uh that doesn’t make them evil it makes them human and you know they’re just driven by scarcity and so even if people have a lot of money maybe they want more money if people have a sense of power they want more power why because they’re trying to fulfill on the like the the black hole that is their

(13:24) version of insecurity right and so i think it’s uh to answer the question you know external overreaction i think 99 plus percent of the human species is gonna be fine you might be sick for a minute i think i had it you know i think i did too it came and went and you know it was probably the easiest cold i’ve had um and then obviously those who are immune compromised or they have pre-existing conditions they’re obviously more vulnerable but they are for everything you know so whether it’s a regular flu which last season took out

(13:56) more people than we have currently in terms of deaths right so i think you know look i mean that we could go on and on this is obviously a topic of conversation with the last couple of months and it will probably continue for a few more um i just want to trust in the consciousness of life that people are waking up they’re becoming more responsible for their health to mercedes question at the beginning i think people are recognizing the prison they’ve been in in their own world between their own ears and i think this is an opportunity for

(14:26) humans to become more responsible in the way that they take care of themselves they take care of other and then we take care of our planet right so if this is what it was required to to happen for us to go through this reset then i’m all for it you know but as it relates to some of the perhaps um you know less pure less well-intended uh choices that are going on right now yeah that’s not fun i mean i certainly don’t want to take a vaccine i’ve got no interest you know um so i just trust that uh the powers that

(15:00) be will eventually you know lose either they’ll wake up or the masses just will create sufficient awareness around the implications of some of these agendas such that they never actually you know come to fruition yeah i’ll just move to freaking switzerland or something [Laughter] so speaking on the um ingrained constraints you know that we all are dealing with or we or many of us maybe not you peter many of us are still working through yeah yeah you’ve said before that true happiness is the absence of seeking happiness

(15:38) which is really difficult for my brain to to wrap around i’m trying to and i think that’s what my problem is is i’m trying to do something when it’s maybe less doing more being can you just speak to that a little bit first of all i love the fact that you girls have done your research that means a lot like it really is uh super sweet um so i love the fact that you you’re bringing these things to life um yeah it’s one of the favorite quotes that came through me it’s just the way my mind works is when i look at life and i

(16:08) have these sort of analytical conversations with myself and meditate on things and i recognize happiness is very much a subjective experience right one thing might make someone happy and might not make the other but what is the consistent theme is real ha true happiness is why i said it true happiness is the absence of the search for happiness so to break it down or unpack it the search for happiness creates time right it generates a sense of future and i often tongue-in-cheek say you know even the declaration of

(16:37) independence says blah blah blah and the pursuit of happiness right so what happens in that case is that what we’re doing very subtly or sometimes not so subtly is we’re actually saying that my happiness is a future-based phenomenon what that does then is it denies where i’m at right because it’s implying that the joy that i seek what i want you know my dreams and aspirations are all somewhere out of reach um and so i’m working on it or i’m getting there these are expressions that we use everyday you

(17:11) know terms that humans share and there’s nothing wrong with it but it’s not it leaves people in this slight malaise you know you’re never quite there right so it’s sort of it doesn’t have to be complete depression and misery where you’re at but along that scale from you know complete devastation to mild disappointment you know is where people are at but then the future has got this sort of promised idea of happiness but that’s the proverbial carrot before the nose right like it’s you never quite get

(17:41) there and that to me was just unsatisfactory i was like i don’t want to be like putting my life on perpetual hold for this sort of idealized one-day future i was like oh so then true happiness is the absence of that because what it’s actually saying in late terms is i’m totally content where i am um is that managed by yeah it does i think i’m trying to again trying to create a some sort of path there which is probably part of the problem but i’m trying to i guess verbalize what or get into my mind um

(18:16) some logical way of going about this which maybe is it being present or finding ways to be present like meditation or whatever stillness you know you find in your day to remember that you already are all the things that you’re seeking outside of yourself yeah that’s a very intellectual understanding and you girls have done your work which is awesome like meaning on yourself right so you understand it but actually presence again it’s it’s it might seem weird but the way i speak it’s actually the

(18:44) absence of something so the part of you that’s struggling to get what i’m saying is the part of you that thinks things might have to be different or should be different or you’d like them to be different yeah which itself is an extension or a byproduct to the part of you that a deeper level is saying i’m not okay with where i am right so you’re going to have some subtle judgment like things should be different or he shouldn’t have done that or i should have done this or i would have done this

(19:09) or could have done that any of those kind of dialogues is the subtle but insidious like resistance to life right where i’m saying things right now aren’t the way i want them right so think about that in terms of like jade’s question in coronavirus right now how many people are in massive resistance to what’s going on right but then resistance equals suffering if i’m not okay with the way things are then i have to suffer but the only reason i’m not okay with the way things are is because my brain

(19:39) ego little child whatever you want to say is saying that things should be different yeah so i’m creating my own suffering and then i’m using external circumstances the excuse yeah but if they hadn’t done this or if this was the other way or if i hadn’t done it then i’d be okay i didn’t get the memo that any of us are the [ __ ] center of the universe excuse me we all want to speak to the manager of corona virus tell me that all the time mercedes you’re not the center of the universe

(20:06) i’m like yeah sure mom um yeah i wanted to say that yeah what uh so i have i think that the dissonance i’m experiencing with it is that as humans we are these creatures that i i call always or able to be always happy but never satisfied in a sense so that’s what creates this progressive nature you know humans we want to build we want to do this next thing we want to reach higher and more rainforest yeah yeah or whatever yeah or we want to reach some sort of enlightenment or we want to be you know enlightened

(20:46) so how do we hold both you know how do we hold the idea that we can be peaceful if we just allow what’s real and happening now to be yeah be okay with that beautiful question how do we also hold that piece of us that is innately progressive and wants to reach for more great question and i think we’re getting closer to popping your uh presents cherry okay right because it is it seems like a dichotomy at one level right which is like okay what peter’s saying is true happiness is absence of happiness but

(21:20) happiness as we’re understanding it is this sort of this pursuit where i get to chase my goals build my aspirations blah blah blah so when you said you know there’s a difference between we can be happy but we’re not satisfied that sort of is much closer to what i was saying about my quote right so true happiness we could say true satisfaction is the absence of the search for happiness so we could use other words of like contentment true peace right so i’m not trying to be anywhere else apart from where i am now if you

(21:52) really break it down it’s actually a completely nonsensical proposition anyway because you’re always where you are so it doesn’t even make any sense that you’re trying to be somewhere you’re not no wonder you’re pissed off or you’re frustrated right because you literally can’t be where you’re not right so that’s that is the embodiment of presence so i’m saying they can coexist which is i’m totally content where i am i’m one of the most entrepreneurial creative driven men

(22:23) you’ll meet and simultaneously i’m at peace with the way things are so there’s a distinction between what you’re saying as the progression the pursuit which is of course innate in being human right how we’ve evolved as a species technology to whatever it is but for me if you’re being truly creative then you’re in harmony with what’s happening right now while still pursuing something but not from a place of reaction to the way you don’t want things to be which is how most people progress right

(22:57) it’s like why do most people go to the gym they’re in progression mode to use your word meaning they’re going after something but they’re going to the gym because they don’t want to be fat or they don’t want to be overweight or they don’t want to be out of shape right so the what’s driving them is what they don’t want most people are trying to get a better job why because they’re feeling financial pressure or they want to get out of debt so like even if you look up the definition for health which is why i

(23:22) think this whole [ __ ] again excuse my french but the whole coronavirus and the way that people are reacting and is because people don’t understand health health is defined as the absence of disease because you’re not you don’t have a disease you’re like super healthy like that’s like saying that you’re super wealthy because you don’t have debt it’s like that doesn’t make any sense right so it’s understanding what is true health and likewise what is true contentment right so i’m totally at peace where i am

(23:55) whilst pursuing for the pure joy of it for the pure creativity of what it means to be a human dreams and aspirations but there’s not attachment to it it doesn’t define my worth it doesn’t define my status or my value it’s just for the sheer joy of creativity itself and i know you say too that that’s where our healing starts um that the first step of healing is acceptance um can you go into that a little bit with us why that’s the first step of healing yes because just as i was saying if you’re in any kind of resistance

(24:28) you’re you know it’s a strong word but you’re fighting reality this is dis-ease we’re talking about right the absence of ease right because i’m not at peace with the way things are because my brain again it’s not even our fault right there’s a flow state well flow state is the absence of the resistance right flow state is beneath flow state is where i’m totally at peace with what is like i’m not trying to make things different or i i could be in action about making things different but

(24:56) psychologically emotionally i’m not in resistance to it right so this ease is where basically in lay terms like there’s unrest i’m not i’m not happy with the way things are you know at the extremes of anger and really fighting like you know look at a look at a couple you know like when they get into a fight what’s happening is psychologically somebody is saying i don’t like the way things are whether it’s what you said what you did and vice versa and there you’re in a fight that’s no

(25:23) there’s no there’s no flow state there that’s not love you know that is just the brain and the ego reacting from a place of self-preservation yeah again it’s not wrong we have love and compassion but it’s not a very fun way to live right so so awareness and acceptance is and predominantly acceptance because that’s what you asked is i’m allowing things to be the way they are why because that’s the way they are right you know so it’s not even the funny thing is it’s not even for us to

(25:56) allow life to be the way it is like the audacity of that yeah we have like this controlling nature right but the control is a byproduct of deep-seated fear right we only need to control things if you’re living in fear so the the reconciliation of fear equally dissolves the need to control i don’t need to control anything and now i’m in a state that’s hard for us that’s hard my work is easy but it’s freaking yeah you know yeah acceptance is i the just really get it the logic off right like i said you

(26:28) can’t be anywhere other than where you are why because you’re always where you are right and whether you accept life or not guess what it is the way it is yeah so so it’s just even if we all we’re doing is appealing to the logic in people and recognizing holy [ __ ] i can not accept life as much as i want it doesn’t change what life is right and so now life is the way it is and i’m creating suffering you know that doesn’t make any sense but uh one of my best friends tom shiriak always says wherever you go there you

(27:01) are um and i know and so just add to that to make it a little more profound it’s like first of all who’s the you that you’re referring to right so wherever you go there you are who’s you right so the being everywhere but to what degree is the you that you think you are that is creating resistance is also with you yeah right like i remember doing a workshop and this woman came up to me at the end and said oh my god it’s so inspired and i wanted to let you know i’m going to india you know i’m so excited to find

(27:32) happiness or whatever and i said okay well good luck with that you know sort of being tongue-in-cheek and i use a lot of humor in my work and she’s like what do you mean i said well you’re gonna be there that’s the issue right like you can find happiness outside of this door in your backyard you know you don’t have to go to india i mean yeah you won’t get as many air miles if you stay at home but happiness is the the absence of the part of us that’s trying to find happiness to go back to that point which i mercedes

(28:02) is still steeping on but i think she might have got it i i we’re sleeping i uh understand what should i say i am informed like i have received the information but i have not fully integrated it yet um and i know triggers show us where we’re not free um something that you say you ask is can i be with this yeah um can you kind of talk to us about what that means yeah i mean for myself you know i’m still human i’ve done a lot of work where i feel i’m pretty damn content with anything it doesn’t mean my life is perfect or

(28:45) there aren’t challenges i just handle it just get on with it right um so can i be with this is really a question to the deeper part of my psyche and to some of my you know clients i work with or obviously i’ve shared on podcasts otherwise you wouldn’t have heard it um where it’s an invitation it’s an inquiry to see okay whatever’s going on coronavirus here job loss here uh partner leaving me there you know somebody dying over here whatever’s happening can i be with this and if i can’t then to me that is an

(29:17) opportunity to see where am i saying to myself that i don’t feel safe or i’m not going to be okay and that’s that’s the growth opportunity right wherever there is an external trigger that allows me to see that i’m not okay with something then i get to see where is my opportunity to find more freedom because if you see the most omnipotent power as somebody like a god whatever your version is you know god isn’t upset because the neighbor put like you know leaves on their lawn right or whatever

(29:50) people [ __ ] fight about you know it’s like hey you know someone moved my trash cans and now you know bla they’re not in the position i want them to be or you know this the mundane everyday [ __ ] that people fight about like truly i can be with this is i’m not upset by circumstance that to me is what i am inviting people to consider and it’s okay if you are because everybody’s a work in progress but wherever you do get triggered wherever you do get upset that is the opportunity to go oh wait a minute there’s part of

(30:23) me that still is functioning from constraint and fear which is okay but i’d rather not yeah such a beautiful invitation to look inward when that happens yeah yeah which i think i mean just that piece in itself has fully changed my life of going whoa what am i feeling right now and continuously asking myself that and when i see that it’s something negative or angry or you know whatever thing i don’t want to be experiencing going okay this isn’t someone else doing this to me it’s not an external thing

(30:54) this is something coming up from inside me and it and it always is that’s the thing always it’s only us you know and that when you really get that it’s um you know it’s so so powerful it’s almost comical to realize the only thing that’s ever upset us is our own way of looking at things yeah i think one one of my one of several i think darkest nights of my soul you know dark nights of the soul for me was coming up against that that idea of um i’ve been spending my whole life projecting

(31:28) this ideal version of what i think life is supposed to look like instead of spending it in reality and understanding what’s actually happening and understand and it’s not always exactly what you want because of course you made this whole projection of what you wanted and it’s not going to line up but it doesn’t mean it’s not good you just have been holding for me it’s i was holding on so tightly to this you know dream vision instead of living in the now that it was a very tough thing to come against but

(31:58) shakespeare had a beautiful quote he said nothing is either good nor bad only thinking makes it so so true right so it’s again it just comes out of perception which is why even on my website the first quote is from marcel proust and he says the journey of true discovery lies not in finding new lands but rather in looking through new eyes right that’s true discovery is i’m not finding something but rather i have a new perspective and then you have not just one thing that you found external but now you literally have a different

(32:29) world which means everything’s different that’s that’s very powerful we can uncover new worlds every time we open our eyes again to something yeah and that’s that’s really what i’m doing giving people new eyes just no no surgery required pain required no surgery um so and maybe we’ll get into pain later because i think it’s such an interesting way that humans just like we have i guess collectively decided that that’s largely our process of venturing towards healing we have to have yeah

(33:03) but i wanted to riff off of what you said there about uh you know i took a bite of the apple and i’m now digesting it and speak to you about how our digestion plays a part in all of this um and just specifically my story is or that i would i can tie to this is that i spent at least 15 years completely tied up digestion wise um i was chronically constipated for like 15 years pretty much yeah and and even still i feel when i like anytime i have stillness in my day if i look inward and i ask my body how i’m feeling i feel the

(33:45) i want to call it like a vibration of tension so if i’m constantly tense so and i know that still affects my digestion but not as nearly as bad as it was when growing up so can you just give us some insight on to how our digestion is affected by all we’ve talked about so far for sure um and thank you for being so open with that um it helps a lot of people because i know people really struggle with that so i’m sorry you had to go through that so the first thing i hear is that the way the world occurs to you or how it’s

(34:14) going to occur to you is somehow not quite safe so you think about tension if someone if you were standing on the street and you saw someone come running at you like you could tell it wasn’t like a friend coming to hug you but rather someone’s coming to attack you you’d naturally go into a brace position to protect yourself right so that would be the external visualization of tension but subtly in our body you know there’s so many little like contractions that are going all the time so the stress or

(34:42) tension that you feel to me is just an energetic systemic version of brace right so whether we get into it or not um my guess is as a little girl you experienced some things that made you feel that you weren’t quite safe in your environment now it might not mean that you were abused it could be that parents raise their voice a lot or they through [ __ ] you know um so there’s different interpretations of safety but just you know from reading you right now my guess is that you experienced an environment that wasn’t

(35:14) it didn’t make you feel completely held and secure yeah right and peter just so you know we’re extremely open on this show so feel free to delve in anywhere okay am i in the right ballpark is that accurate yeah absolutely i grew up in a household with um a stepmother and stepsisters that i’ve uh you could consider abusive but not physically um i was definitely afraid were you the younger one i’m the oldest of my blood sisters and i was younger than the two step sisters yeah that’s what i meant

(35:44) yeah yeah okay great so they were mean or they picked on you or they said things and blah blah blah something like in that realm of abuse right yeah but the stepmom was really the was worse great um so and we may get into some of the intricacies it’s not really that important but like so you’re a very sensitive person i can tell the fact that you’re committed to this work the fact that you’re open to having these kind of conversations to me points to somebody who’s willing to do the work okay

(36:11) a more evolved being should we say right you’re willing to look at yourself so what that points to as far as i’m concerned is you come in you’re very sensitive person you’re put into an environment with unfamiliar people uh who don’t provide a sense of security or love or acceptance of who you are and in those formative years when we’re very um fragile we’re very available to whatever’s going on and we’re also very powerless that sense of intensity is only going to exacerbate what is already at times for

(36:41) kids a very scary kind of new adventure being on planet earth right so all of that points to exactly why you you did the right thing at the time which was to basically shut everything down and try and protect yourself so that’s the tension right so if the mind is perceiving fear then the body has to emulate that and what does that look like as i said stressful tension right so the expression i use as i say the the mind the body is to the mind like the child is to the parent so i’ll unpack that what that means is

(37:14) a child is so energetically connected to a parent especially biological but even in this case a step parent because just to be you know taking you know bringing love and security for you so the child will through resonance mimic and feel the energy of the care provider so if the care provider is bringing animosity anger hatred god forbid abuse then the child has to feel a sense of lack of security or safety so likewise now if we look at you outside of the obviously you’re not in that circumstance anymore but if your

(37:51) mind is still providing that energy of concern or insecurity because let’s face it the stepmother her her expression to you was a reflection of her own inadequacies you know whatever she was you know you’re pretty girl maybe your dad loved you more than her kids or loved you more than her whatever she was going you know through as her own form of inadequacy and insecurity that then made her want to protect herself by picking on you which is just bullying right so she was trying to establish her own sort of

(38:19) sense of authority or worth so there’s no blame even towards her she was doing the best she could within the realm of her awareness but as a little girl you’re left with all of this feeling of absence of security absence of love and it’s it’s a bold statement for me to make but i feel that the absence of love is still a form of abuse but if you really understand that like people think of abuse like you know someone got hit or they were sexually molested or but i’d actually say for a kid to not feel totally loved totally

(38:48) held is still a form of anything less than nurturing yeah yeah so that so you obviously were more on the spectrum of like what people really associate with abuse so physiologically your body did what it was supposed to do which is you know contract plus by you know it’s hard to tell but looking at you look like you’re more of a butter type in ayurveda i don’t know if you know yeah so you’re gonna have a predisposition anyway to you know dryness internally and externally so you are going to lean

(39:19) more into constipation so then on top of that you’re going to be contributing this tension which means that the peristalsis movement of your digestive tract is slowed down if not stopped you’re probably also not eating very well and what you’re eating isn’t getting digested so now this comes you know long-winded answers to a question about how digestion gets affected is when we are in a state of fear the part of our autonomic nervous system that gets triggered is called the sympathetic nervous system and most people know that

(39:47) as fight flight or freeze or fight or flight most people have heard so what that means is your body is preparing for some kind of altercation right either i’ve got to defend myself or i’ve got to run now for a kid it’s really really scary because you really can’t run and you can’t fight so you kind of freeze right like as a kid like i can remember even waking up as a kid and having a nightmare and thinking that you know the boogie monsters in my room or whatever and i’m lying in bed like i

(40:14) don’t want to move because i don’t want them to see me it’s like who’s you know who the hell am i scared of my own imagination but so for a kid you were really powerless which is why again i say i feel the absence of security reassurance love and acceptance is still abuse because a kid is just so vulnerable so so the digestion component whether you’re however old you are now or as a kid is still going to be impacted by the way that we view the world if we view the world from a perspective of fear

(40:42) digestion is not a priority it’s not important so what happens is you know your resources are allocated particularly to your vision to your heart rate to the circulatory system to push blood to the muscles because your brain is saying hey there’s some potential danger and we got to get the [ __ ] out of here or you’re going to fight for your life anymore and so that’s why again digestion becomes sluggish or doesn’t work or people get very bloated because the resources to actually break down the food in a very

(41:11) safe you know think about it when you’re with friends and you feel like maybe you’re on vacation and you feel just so at peace and you’re having the best time most people don’t have any of their digestive issues that they might have at home when they’ve got their regular nine to five because they’re in parasympathetic which is the the opposing force of the autonomic nervous system which is called rest and digest and rejuvenate so now your body’s like ah i’m in a such a beautiful place there’s

(41:40) nothing to worry about and your digestion you know like some of your breathing patterns you’ve been doing as i’ve been talking right you get into a place where you’re more calm and you can be more relaxed so does that help speak to the digestion process yeah i think um it’s one of those one of those parts of us that we we neglect especially because we don’t get taught about it in school and look at it closely in that direction but also like you’re saying if all these other alarm systems are going off it’s the

(42:10) last thing on the list to worry about and and that brings me to another question in that realm which is um just off of that and this isn’t something i’ve experienced personally because i haven’t attempted to have a child yet but i know that a lot of people especially in my friends group in the same you know culture we grew up in who have infertility issues yeah and i would assume that’s around the same idea of this type of dis ease where we’re yeah we’ve got all these fight flight or freeze alarms going off and we can’t

(42:41) allow our body to do something like have a child because right now we’re in we’re running from lions a hundred percent and um and not not to sort of um advertise myself as some sort of miracle work with children but i’m too for two with clients who come for me who couldn’t have a baby like they both had babies yeah wow yeah one couple conceived the very night after the session oh my gosh because the energetics of it is amazing right so it’s so fun when you really understand the room feels safe yeah you

(43:13) feel safe but it’s also the irony it was actually in this case it was more the guy’s energy because he was so angry at life you know and so the wife was ready in this case but in you know in the way that they were trying to conceive there wasn’t connection so even though she loved him she didn’t feel fully held or fully safe or fully seen because he was much more like and i’m not saying the guy is angry he’s a total sweetheart but because of the way he grew up and he was brought from south america and into a

(43:43) very wealthy sort of white neighborhood and was picked on a lot and so he was always looking out for his version of a fight right and he developed a lot of hostility and anger and so there wasn’t quote the reciprocation of love for the connection to happen so that was interesting because it was more on his side then somebody else was a woman who um had been trying forever and the whole infertility process and for her it was a deep-seated feeling of inadequacy about who she was that she’s not enough and then of course it gets

(44:15) perpetuated right it becomes self-fulfilling especially for a woman i mean it’s one of your greatest assets as a woman is that you basically everybody’s on the planet is by virtue of the incredible power of a woman to give birth and so the fact that she had deep-seated feelings of inadequacy that she’s not enough and then she couldn’t have a baby it just snowballed right yeah so to undo all of that for her then eventually you know allowed for that you know space to open up quite literally for a new

(44:42) being to be born so yeah you girls are spot on but it’s it’s that’s why even though i’ve been called a spiritual teacher i’m as much a physicist as anything else understand the world of physics going back to what we were saying earlier if i’m resisting life resistance is friction what’s friction going to create inflammation so then you wonder why people have high blood pressure they have ibs they have all sorts of inflammatory disorders well because psychologically you’re in a fight with

(45:08) life that’s physics that’s not like psychology that’s so good yeah and that’s why i love your work so much peter is because i think you thank you are an amazing bridge for people who are coming from this culture we we all grew up in probably of we’re afraid of the woo world you know we’re afraid of the spiritual ideas and so we can come at it with your work through uh that logical physics-based place but it really it does all spiral down to a real spiritual place it’s just that word for some reason yeah i’m just

(45:44) i mean i’m a spiritual philosopher just disguised as a guy’s guy who loves to play sports and you know has a pretty decent way of articulating things and making them profound palatable for people that’s really what’s going on but thank you for yeah it’s powerful stuff i did want to ask you i think you spoke to a lot of this but maybe just to finish fleshing it out what are the six stages of dis-ease oh yeah from ayurveda it’s one of my favorite components it’s called some property is the process

(46:13) so the first stage is accumulation so when we look at somebody’s dosha butter pizza and people can find a wealth of information online if they were to search anything about either and we’ve had sahara rose on so anyone can go back and reference that episode also okay cool um and i do some work with a company called banyan botanicals and so they provide products um i don’t get paid anything for this i’m not selling anything but they do have great resources so you can go to banyan botanicals and they have a quiz you can

(46:42) take they have information about each of the doshas so i just like to push people there so that they can get educated if they want so when we talk about the first stage accumulation what we’re normally speaking to is there’s too much butter which is really air too much pizza which is fire or too much coffee which is sort of a combination of earth and water so um what what that means is you get too much of that element in your system so let’s take pizza fire that’s you predominantly yes um and

(47:13) myself also so if you get too much fire that can be through stress you know think about there’s too much heat in your system because you’re aggravated you’ve got too much spicy food too much alcohol which is very heating so anything like that becomes um heat aggravating which is the second stage so if you accumulate too much of one thing now it becomes an aggravation what does that look like well if it’s the fire maybe you’ve got a little bit of heartburn acid reflux you know maybe you get like a little bit of

(47:45) agitation more than normal emotionally and then the third stage is spread so think about it if you’ve got anything that accumulates it’s going to spread at some point right you could take your closet right you accumulate too many clothes now it’s aggravating why because i can’t freaking find what i’m looking for right but then they start to spread and it spills out into your bedroom or whatever it is so that’s why i love the principles of physics but we’re in ayurveda we’re talking about the doshas so too much

(48:12) fire spreads it goes through your bloodstream and then the fourth stage is it becomes localized so the heat that built up because of your diet it’s usually associated with digestion became an aggravant it started to spread systemically throughout your whole body and then it found a localized somewhere so let’s just say you know jade i don’t know if you’re a dancer or something and you hurt me when you’re young or well maybe that heat is like oh here we’ve lost some integrity in the body this is

(48:39) a great place for the excess to hang out right like it’s i don’t mean there’s a derogatory way but the homeless don’t hang out in the nicest areas they find somewhere where it’s dark and seedy and you you know they can just they can live and camp out on this don’t be bothered yeah yeah so sort of where there’s an absence of integrity meaning where things don’t work smoothly or in a harmonious way well same with our body right so the excess that spread found a nice place and then the fifth stage is

(49:06) it becomes manifest as this disease so that in the heat it might become it could become a rash it could become some sort of arthritis where there’s like an inflammation in the joint and then the final stage in the six stages it becomes diversified so the excess to begin with aggravates an area but then it actually alters the areas the diversification so it could become rheumatoid arthritis where now you’re actually altering the tissue structure itself right having too much acid or heat in your stomach isn’t

(49:36) altering the stomach it’s just excess and then you fill the byproducts of that so once you get to stage five or six it’s very difficult to reverse but why i love the system is because if you understand that the first stage of disease is accumulation stop getting so much [ __ ] in your life so it’s in your body in your mind in your house whatever it is this is why cleansing feels good to people that’s what you’re doing you’re letting go right so it’s just such a beautiful system as far as

(50:06) yeah like kim john payne um talks about how your your exterior world represents your interior world yeah um clutter you know externally is invariably a reflection of the answer that people have or the desire for more which you know as mercedes saying like this is invariably that incessant desire to try and fill a black hole that can’t be filled this is infomercials you know marketers know this about humans because what do they say wait there’s more what is that appealing to it’s appealing to the unsatiable aspect of the ego

(50:38) right everything’s and then on every level to look at that right so what i’m what i’m doing is i’m unpacking and dissolving what’s been accumulated as emotional and psychological you know dis-ease so it’s like once you free that up it’s like oh my god i’m just there’s lightness people can breathe you know there’s nothing wrong you know freedom you’ve said that um people can’t be held accountable for that which they are oblivious to and i love this compassionate perspective and i would

(51:17) love for you to elaborate on that something um that i’m trying to apply that to is in austin we have a huge um homelessness problem um it’s it’s uh it’s it almost feels like a zombie land in certain areas but i get very triggered and i’m still uncovering this i get very triggered when someone refers to a homeless person as a bum or says like oh i would never beg and as a teenager i was a homeless person who did beg on the streets so i’m sure that that’s something i need to uncover and figure

(51:47) out but i’m trying to apply what you say about um not holding people accountable to what they’re oblivious to but could you just maybe elaborate a little bit on it uh yeah so it works in both cases there right the but the the homeless person and the person judging them or calling them a bum right you can apply it to both which is you know in i’m not religious i’d like to transcend all and embrace everybody but like you know i’d like to pull tenants and jesus said you know forgive them lord they know not what they do

(52:18) right so that sort of speaks to the same energy of compassion and love which is people are functioning from within the constraints of their own awareness right so the person who’s saying look at those bums is equally confined just as the person they’re judging right so if we can bring compassion to both then that allows us to see that we can see beyond what they can see not in a superior way but that we have a greater sense of acceptance you’ve had the literal experience of what it means to be on the street and have to beg so you

(52:51) have an immediate association or compassion for the homeless person which then creates a little bit of judgment towards a person who doesn’t get it but if you understand that that would be like you know judging a child for not understanding you know arithmetic when they’re three it’s like but they don’t know yet right so the person judging for your evolution jade as you know i’m contributing something to you here is that maybe you have the opportunity if if you wanted to share yourself and educate that

(53:20) person as to why that might be a derogatory way to speak to about another human because you were there and that might just up level their awareness and their compassion you see this is where we learn from each other so i need to work on my articulation uh yeah i want to speak the way you do because i typically will just be like he is you you are him we are all god he’s god in one of his myriad of disguises and then they don’t want to talk to me anymore yeah so so but to give you a little like coaching maybe i could say one way you

(53:52) can always approach it is the very simple question is can i share something with you you know and immediately people are going to want to know because we’re curious because again we want to know more so but in saying that you open that person up to listen to something that you could contribute you say you know i used to look at homeless people the same and then until i was homeless and i can tell you that you know it’s a very difficult place to be and just maybe you could have a slightly different perspective because we you don’t know

(54:22) what that person’s been through right so that would be your opportunity to contribute to them without judgment without making them wrong because this is where it gets really slippery and i know you’re willing to listen because you do the work them calling that person a bum is no different than the way you’re looking at them for saying right and i’m judging them for judging another yeah i’m being yeah i know yeah but but good for you for taking it on the chin right so just to notice it right so that’s really the perpetuation

(54:51) of harm and hostility in society even though it’s not physical energetic it’s still the same you know if you’re making somebody wrong for something you’re making them wrong for something right so the way that we can breed more compassion is to notice wow you’re just hurts because you were there and maybe you have an opportunity to share and contribute to somebody’s awareness through your own experience so that they can up level their sense of compassion and love for everybody and that the person who’s homeless like

(55:20) going back to what i said about like abuse is the absence of love i feel then we don’t know to what degree that person who’s on the street right now doesn’t even know what love looks like because their dad was in prison their mom was a crack addict and you know they were a scared kid you know mercedes you you look beautiful you look like you’re put together but you went through your version of quote-unquote harm and abuse that perhaps on the scale was you know five out of ten and maybe the homeless

(55:47) person was a nine out of ten i mean we’re not all that different really just subtle difference in circumstance that could have made us either the person in the beautiful castle or the person who’s you know sleeping on the streets right the subtleties of how we are brought up the subtleties of how we learn different languages of love of survival um i i was watching this video on youtube vimeo called step inside the circle and if you haven’t seen it please watch it and all your viewers it is so profound because it’s this incredible

(56:21) woman who goes into prisons and they go out into the yard and they have all of the inmates in this huge circle and she just asks a series of questions and if it’s a yes you step inside the circle and she starts with like you know were you raised by one parent you know like almost everybody like steps in were you ever you know hit you know blah blah and so she’s going through this progressive form of abuse and it is so powerful to see how the majority like 99 of the inmates had so many forms of whatever we’re calling

(56:55) abuse right so it’s really not that they’re bad people but they just were never taught the language of love and they just have a further way to climb out yeah that’s it you know and that breaks my heart because i’m such a slumpy but you know it’s like especially kids like you look at the innocence of a child whether it’s a photo or a friend of yours or a niece or a nephew you know and they are just so as i said earlier vulnerable you know and it just all i want for that kid to experience is the sanctity of being held

(57:28) and being loved and i know that’s not that’s maybe ideal because parents are doing the best they can right so you know you can’t uh can’t be held accountable for that which you’re oblivious to applies to parents too so there’s no judgment but i hope that as we continue to evolve that as parents do have kids they’ve done the work so that that kid experiences what it is to be in a home that feels like a home not like a prison yes that’s something i i think about a lot too uh one of my

(57:58) dreams is to speak at schools about bullying and that circle i had never heard about that circle video but i had something kind of in my head about um how i would present uh something similar i’m just still trying to figure out how when i was in san antonio i could go speak at whatever school because i would just say i’m a san antonio but now like they don’t just let anybody you know come speak at schools especially now with the shootings and everything so i’m trying to figure out the platform

(58:22) for that um that’s cool though but watch the video i think you’ll get a lot from it so yeah we’ll post it in the show notes as well um could you also share your story about the smoker who asked you how you would help him it’s one of my favorite stories i’ve ever heard oh yeah i was just in arizona i was working with one of my golf pros and um at the end of the day just relaxing in the hot tub and this couple and their baby got in and the mum was kind of taking care of the young kid and so the dad just engaged in

(58:50) conversation the usual like are you on vacation what are you doing here and i explained i was uh here for a golf tournament and he said oh that’s cool uh you playing i said no no i’m just working with a pro he said oh that you like his caddy i said well you know no maybe his mental daddy carrying his mental baggage and so he was really fascinated by that he said wow and his first question was how would you help me stop smoking and i said i wouldn’t and so you know because i live in such a unique world where i

(59:22) don’t make anything wrong right so he was a bit confused so you because in his world there’s everything wrong with smoking right it’s known smoking’s bad and um he said well what do you mean i said well there’s nothing wrong with smoking smoking smoking and now he’s even more confused and i said well i’m not denying that smoking has impacts right it affects your lungs depending on the strength of your constitution if you’re built like an ox you might make it to 100. if you’ve got a fragile

(59:46) system you know you’re probably gonna develop a lung cancer or something right so smoking based again on physics has its impact depending on who you are but i could tell from him that there was a lot of judgment around it so i said let me put it this way i said if you were okay with smoking you didn’t judge smoking you didn’t think smoking was bad you didn’t judge yourself for smoking how would you feel his shoulders dropped like two inches he’s like oh my god i feel so relieved and i said when you feel that relief do

(1:00:13) you need a cigarette and you know he just got it right i said you don’t judge smoking you judge yourself in self-judgment you create dis-ease right which is what we’ve been talking about he created a sense of suffering based on his own internal angst about who he was not enough whatever it is and then he found relief in cigarettes so the cigarettes were the byproducts of his suffering but once we got into a place of deep acceptance aka not judging yourself he found relief you don’t need any substance when you’re in a state of

(1:00:44) freedom or relief so yeah that’s uh that was that story and then he came running up to me like a little boy two and two days later he saw me in the lobby and he’s like i haven’t even had a cigarette i’m like yeah i love that you don’t make anything bad because i feel like i get obsessed with anyone that i love i try to like i uh me and mercedes are both magicians so i’m like always trying to help them be healthier and uh limit screen time and to do all of those things and i i really need to

(1:01:21) balance it with the love of control yeah what’s the subtext for that oh the sub the archetype magician but what’s the subject of that behavior control and fear yeah but look at it energetically yeah if you’re feeling the need to do that and help like there’s a couple of things at work right so what let’s look at them what are the what’s the underlying current of that sort of behavioral adaptation towards people what’s the attention what’s the agenda and what’s the implication

(1:01:57) um i feel like it comes from a place of love but it is it is like this feeling of fixing yes exactly so that that they’re sort of concurrent right so the intention is pure you both care you love your loved ones or friends or whoever you’re saying it to but the actual behavior is manipulative right so it’s a conflict so you’re well intended but the way you’re doing it has got a little demand it’s got pressure it’s got implication of like that what they’re doing is wrong that’s what they’re gonna hear

(1:02:30) that’s what they’re gonna feel and everyone’s gonna deflect that or defend it or react to it so again similar to what i was saying when you could approach the person calling the homeless person a bum you could say can i make a suggestion though don’t make it about them make it about you so rather than saying i want you to limit your screen time you could say something like can i share something with you and of course they’re going to say yeah and say god i get so worried and i get so concerned about like when you use the

(1:03:00) screen too much right or you’re on devices like i how can i like can you help me with that like because i i just i get concerned about your eyes or your brain or like you see you’re talking about yourself not like because it’s got the [ __ ] energy otherwise right i know so that would be one way to share how much you care about them versus telling people what to do or you can also counteract it by recognizing that everybody’s doing what they’re doing and then where they’re at and of course you can share

(1:03:30) but sharing is very different than instructing i don’t instruct people what to do i just don’t you know i could see all sorts of things walking through an airport or you know just around the promenade anywhere down here in los angeles i could see all sorts of manner but if i went up to somebody said hey i’m reading your energy and they you know they can punch me they tell me to go f myself unless somebody invites you into their home their psychological home then it’s going to be very difficult to

(1:03:59) make any lasting change yeah we’re shooting all over people yeah respecting where they’re at on their journey and just being a light being the light yeah absolutely lead by example i mean inspire people don’t instruct is what i do i just i want to be a form of inspiration i don’t want to tell people how to live their life if they’re inspired by the way i live awesome i’m happy to share and help and if we’re bothered by how they’re living then that’s something going on in us

(1:04:30) yeah so you kind of i’ve started breaking it down here but can you explain how you reverse engineer um people’s symptoms um yeah i mean it’s just understanding again that process of physics right so if somebody’s got a control issue it’s like well why do they have a control issue they’re only going to control things if they have fear why do they have fear because at some level similar to what you shared about being around yourself mom they’ve been indoctrinated with this idea that they’re not going to

(1:04:58) be okay they’re not safe whatever it is so that would be the reverse engineers look at the behavior and the outcome understand what did that what was the precursor to that every outcome has got the precursor of whatever actions people took right so if you understand okay well what drove the action why did they do what they did so then you can see okay well what is the mindset that drove the action which is more conscious usually and then we want to look at the deeper level which is my forte which is okay what is beneath the

(1:05:28) conscious thought and emotion that created the action that gave rise to the outcome right so that’s does that makes it i mean i do it so naturally and so quickly i know it’s a lot to do yes but if you can understand that all outcome is a byproduct of action all action is a byproduct of a combination of thoughts and feelings and thoughts and feelings or emotions are byproducts of the world you live in at the subconscious level so that that’s what i can see when i somebody’s telling me they struggle with

(1:05:57) whatever they’re struggling with yeah so as an example as an example would you like can you reverse engineer maybe how mercedes and i both struggle with time management and we sometimes need to control our lives which both hand in hand cause us to be spread very thin like we both pile on too much and i’m constantly rushing um to where people around me will be like why are you in such a hurry um well so you tell me first before i give my insights because you’re both smart so you know rather than me sitting

(1:06:27) here like tell me what you’re aware of about that kind of behavior about who you are that has you be in a hurry uh for me it’s a matter of feeling like i need to be in control so it’s back to that tension uh that fear of chaos that fear of not being in control the fear of um not being prepared yeah okay jade yeah i think for me um in my childhood there was no control or routine or rhythm and i would go to friend’s house where like dinner was always on the table at six and so now i think i over structure and um

(1:07:09) i’m a bit like obsessed with rhythm and to where i’m like okay we got to be this time this time this time and it’s um it’s a sense of uh trying to give my kids what i didn’t have a predictability but it’s it’s uh over the top yeah because the energy is still the same so now in both cases there’s going to be a similarity so what are you both actually saying what’s the concern what’s the underlying fear i won’t be enough if i don’t show up yeah that’s definitely part of it

(1:07:40) um yeah maybe it’s a worthiness thing or like i’m uh trying to prove something about my character myself yeah there’s definitely an element of like um you know trying to increase your stock or your value by showing up in a certain way but it’s not really the driving force that i feel i think you actually both have the same so look a little deeper jay what do you see and the need to have things a certain way what’s the actual implication what are you saying if you know things have to be a certain way what is the

(1:08:13) concern then i’m not okay with what is yeah so that’s part of it but it’s a little bit more insidious than that so you’re just just look at okay let’s just say you don’t have dinner at six right you don’t stick to your perfect schedule what does what what what are you saying about that that it’s that i get i guess the feeling that i get is that like um it really does feel like everything’s gonna fall apart for some reason yeah great um and i pile on so much to almost make it feel rushed

(1:08:55) yeah so almost like i like it’s like that’s how my brain is used to so it’s addicted to that um yeah and it is an addiction it is an addiction right so if everything’s gonna fall apart put that in late terms like if everything falls apart what is what’s going to happen to you and die yeah it’s a life or death thing right so but like you know for me it’s my kids my kids will have trauma right okay so so let’s just look at it at a big broad stroke like die kids are gonna have trauma how would we say that

(1:09:27) in the term in the way that we relate to our future is everything gonna work out no yeah it will i mean it will but no that’s not the way you’re relating to it what’s the antithesis of that [Music] if it’s not going to work out what are you actually saying if you don’t have dinner at six and blah blah blah and if they have too much device time what are you saying what’s the fear i’m not enough that’s part of it but that’s not the one related that’s now right if i’m not

(1:09:56) enough i’m not enough now it’s almost believing that we have control over all of that when we really don’t i know you don’t and i’m just trying to help you find so much freedom right now so you can [ __ ] have dinner at six or nine but the implication that you think that you have to have dinner at a certain time again that was one example or the mercedes thinks she has to control things or look a certain way or have blah blah blah the implication underneath there’s something at stake where you’re saying

(1:10:25) if things don’t happen that way i’m what and it’s not enough it’s much more to do with what mercedes said life or death life or death right life good death means i’m not what living not alive yeah but if i so if you’re not alive you’re going to be fine but the implication around you if you’re scared about the future what do you say that you’re not what i’m trying to you’re not safe for sure but it’s that’s a now moment right i feel like we’re in your remedial class

(1:10:58) we’re doing the beginner’s version right now this is tough because it’s a blind spot right it’s a real blind spot so the concern for things being the way you think they have to be and if they’re not like what does that mean if it’s not dinner at six then you said it jade things are gonna fall apart if things fall apart what’s the implication i’m gonna be left and abandoned and well that i don’t have control yeah we own if you don’t have control what’s going to happen to you

(1:11:30) i’m going to lose it well i’d like to consider you’ve already lost it trying to find it for the sake of time for the audience at home are all screaming so i want you to consider both of you the construct you’re stuck in is the illusion that as it relates to your future you’re not going to be okay or your kids are not going to be here is something about it’s not going to work out just feel into that so feel into the energy it’s not gonna work out what does that leave you feeling if it’s

(1:12:02) not gonna be okay it’s not gonna work out how does that leave you feeling scared hopeless yeah yeah fear anxiety that’s a lot of anxiety too right yeah so your brain has come up with mechanisms in your own world yours is the antithesis of what you had because you didn’t feel okay in an environment where there was no structure your brain is like okay that’s a horrible place to be so what i’m gonna do is create structure because that’s the antidote so not feeling okay no no it’s not that’s you not feeling okay

(1:12:33) and now just adding structure yeah do you see that’s the crazy part you can give a [ __ ] you know they’re probably like mum relax right so it’s about recognizing that the energy is still the same right which is no judgment but it’s again no different to you judging the person who’s judging the bum there’s the opportunity to be like wow i’m doing the same thing that my parents were doing or what they weren’t doing when the father says i’m gonna be the most loving father because i never had

(1:13:00) that as a parent what he’s actually saying is i’m being like my parents just the other side of the same coin yeah and when you really get it it’s just it’s well intended but you’re still driving the same energy though for you i get how much you love your kids which is beautiful like i said the intention is there but the agenda is manipulative right which doesn’t make you bad but it’s like wow you love your kids but what if love looked like it’s okay it’s okay it’s okay if we eat at five past six

(1:13:27) versus six or you know go for a bit at 6 20. it’s okay so we can see i’m not going to be okay creates anxiety fear being scared and then of course behaviorally you want to control everything that’s natural right because you think it’s not going to work out well then [ __ ] i’d better take care of it but is it true as a truth that you’re not going to be okay yes or no no is it true that you’re not going to be okay as a truth no right now feel into that feel into the absence of the concern

(1:14:02) that it’s not going to work out what what becomes available for you and this is new right you’re sitting here with me hopefully stepping into a completely new relationship with yourself so this might take a minute but think into if you didn’t have to worry about what was going to happen or how things were going to work out how would you feel just with me right now mercedes you go first i would feel a relief that i don’t have to you know i have this mantra that i don’t practice enough but it’s that

(1:14:35) the world is not going to fall apart if you don’t stay busy you know if you let go once in a while okay well like not to make this too graphic but let go what does that imply with your powers totally that’s exactly my issue like this is like yeah so but it’s the energetic representation showing up in your body right so what you just described the relief relief let go relax literally yeah which is amazing right isn’t that beautiful it’s only because you have a dysfunctional relationship to your

(1:15:05) future which is very human where you’re concerned things aren’t going to go the way you want so now you’re trying to make sure they do which is completely futile and it’s actually exacerbating the very fear that you’re trying to avoid crazy-making you know it’s one of [ __ ] people drink so much right it’s amazing it’s a relief so jay in the absence of concern for the way things are going to turn out if there was no wrong similar to my smoker story you could eat a six you could eat i

(1:15:31) could say what you you’re feeding your kids at six that’s terrible you should eat them it’s at 5 30. and now you’re like oh i’ve been doing it wrong or this is a great warframe right right so in the absence of thinking you had to have structure and things had to be a certain way how would you feel loose there’s a feeling of like um that comes up of like irresponsibility but it still feels like like oh it’s impossible for you to be a responsible you’re so conditioned to try and be responsible

(1:15:59) it’d be nice for you to be a little bit more loose right mm-hmm yeah what would that feel like for your kids that energy oh yeah they would feel a lot more uh nurturing yeah nurturing and playful yeah which would be the healthier environment the mom who’s stressed and worried about a future who’s got structure or the mum who’s loose and it’s like it’s okay let’s have some fun which is a healthy environment the loose and fun and it’s one of jade’s number one thing she says that she wants to be seen by

(1:16:28) her children as playful yeah but even the wanting is implying that you’re not you’re very playful but the wanting is the trying and that’s the effort that actually avoids you just being you accepting you much deeper issues there right make it like self love and self acceptance yeah beautiful stuff ladies who knew we were going to have an online session maybe [Laughter] we only could hope peter yeah but can you feel that like i really want you to can you feel the relief and the ease about like just not

(1:16:59) worrying about how it works out that’s not just you don’t be responsible mothers or friends or you know daughters or wives or whatever but it’s not the worry about it yeah we can all breathe this does this relate to a scarcity mindset peter i mean it’s all interlinked yeah any kind of fear worry scarcity and adequacy same sense of wanting control and so when we step towards abundance it’s a loosening it’s a relaxing yeah knowing it’s all going to work out yeah you said something uncertainty is the

(1:17:36) nature of life and we’re struggling against this constantly yeah especially right now everybody yeah but you both just displayed that perfectly right like you’re trying to control what is uncontrollable yeah uncertainty is the nature of life get over it okay peter we the good thing is we get to uh listen to this back as many times this weekend we’re almost done with you though okay i was gonna say i got a rock and roll here yeah okay um so you’ve asked the question who would you well you kind of asked

(1:18:12) this already um who would you be and what would you become available to in the absence of all your concerns so why are there different emotional responses to that question though when that comes up responses um when you have this in your work or when you we’ve heard you on other podcasts and such talk about this it seems that people will perceive that idea yeah differently for according to i guess their circumstance to why do you have an insight on why that happens yeah it just depends where they’re at like so you will get relief

(1:18:52) that will show up in a different way versus jade’s relief is maybe more playful yours might be more relaxed and i don’t have to control things and look so perfect right so it just it’s revealing where you’re constrained right so uh wherever there isn’t constraint you’re going to have your own it’s still relief which is why i said freedom is my main product i’m freeing people from constraints of their mind how that manifests is like jade might be like super relaxed and tell the

(1:19:16) kids to freaking get their own dinner and i’m just chilling out yoga i don’t know what that looks like right and for you it might be i don’t know you know your version i don’t know anything about your personal life so but it’s going to manifest in a way that feels like the next evolution of your own expansion and freedom so it just depends where people are at the homeless person you know if they discovered some sense of relief then their form of relief might be that okay i’m gonna take better care of myself i

(1:19:46) might go to the ocean and wash once a day that he wasn’t or she wasn’t doing before that might be an expanded version you know versus just sitting there and taking drugs or i’m gonna stop taking the drugs you know they’re still on the street and they still don’t have a job but they’re nudged in the right direction of expanded version do you see and this is why it’s so important i think to be patient with people’s progressions it’s not it can be powerful you know i tend to work miracles sometimes and like women

(1:20:15) are getting pregnant who haven’t been or people who had night terrors you know that have gone or an nba guy who doubled his shooting average from the free throw line like these are powerful stories it can be powerful when you really get it but compassion means that we let people have the time they need to go through their own process yeah um so i know you said you’ve got to get going we have a couple more questions we can come in and like a lightning round uh okay if you want to try yeah that’s far away

(1:20:44) um can you talk about how the language we choose to use deeply affects our resonance uh yeah because language is vibration i mean that be the quick answer right it’s noise it’s sound and sound we’re vibrational beings in a vibrational universe so our resonance is to me so directly correlated with the way we speak which is why i’m so passionate about language people are incredibly loose and irresponsible i would say with the way they speak because they don’t understand that their words are creating

(1:21:13) their reality and you mean using words like stressed out or something like that yeah that might be accurate but it’s like deeper than that it’s a deeper programming that hasn’t even be stressed out stressed out is already symptomatic it’s too late if you’re feeling stressed it’s because you’ve got deeper programming that has you live in fear right so that’s why this work is so powerful but it’s also a little tricky because you’ve got to be able to know how to get down to the deeper codes

(1:21:38) creating the psychological and physiological outcomes so it’s symptomatic you know like that’s why western medicine no look i don’t want to get into these these [ __ ] fight arguments but western medicine doesn’t work the people in the system beautiful they care they want to make a difference but the system only treats symptoms right that’s not getting to the root cause of why someone has acid reflux giving someone nexium or prilosec has got nothing to do with health nothing it’s got to do with selling drugs

(1:22:07) that person if they stop taking it they have acid reflux again or if they have you know people take beta blockers for hypertension as long as they keep taking them they apparently don’t have high blood pressure but if they stop taking it the blood pressure’s back up again like it’s actually resolved right so that’s a symptomatic approach which is what people are doing psychologically too no judgment but oftentimes it’s a glass of wine at the end of the night to deal with stress but you haven’t

(1:22:31) actually dealt with why do i get stressed right so it’s almost as if we need to put a label on what’s medicine and what’s drugs you know what’s the thing that’s an escape or a mask and what’s the thing that actually helps you move towards healing yeah and that’s another you know that’s a right now part of my purpose and part of my passion is to educate people as to what it means to be healthy and it’s got to look at the whole person mind body and spirit not like you’re a

(1:22:56) machine you come in and your blood pressure is this numbers on a screen and i’m just gonna you know it’s so robotic right number drug number drug you know it’s like what’s going on at home you know like for you girls have just given me great insight that would help me help you because dave you know you’re on the streets begging when you’re 15.

(1:23:16) you know and then mercedes you’ve got the story about your stepmom and yours i didn’t know that how many doctors know that about you when you go in there and you’ve got hype they’re like no you’ve got hypertension you’ve got to take place so anyway that’s our that’s going to take um that’s going to take a minute right around this trillion dollar business you know yeah um but that’s i hope you know because the people in it care but the system does not have anything to do with health right

(1:23:44) profit over people um you didn’t have instagram until recently because you said the liking system wasn’t healthy i’m paraphrasing um and that it’s an attention-based program you know you pour your attention into it and you ask for attention back now that you have it how do you navigate using it in a healthy way um i think you know it’s like like anything i didn’t know what i didn’t know right so when i was not in the use of the social media platforms i could only sit there and just make

(1:24:12) assumptions so there was no judgment i could get it there was still even at the time some people that i would check out their accounts because it was inspiring so the way i navigate it is i don’t make it about me i make it about content i make it about things that people say they want to hear uh and i just share what i feel will be contributing to people’s lives and well-being so you know obviously there’s a component i’m an idiot i play i’m you know i’m a comedian at some level so that gets

(1:24:36) integrated um but similar to what i was saying to you earlier i share i’m not here to tell people how to live live their life so i’m less interested in how i come across and whether i get likes or comments or all of that like i feel very comfortable in my own skin and who i am so that allows me to share without any kind of agenda and if people like it great if they don’t and that’s okay too there’s millions of other people that can follow yeah we have a question from our magic mob lisa asks you say that the first tool is

(1:25:06) awareness but what are the tools for becoming more aware got to become aware of the fact that you’re not aware i’m such a clown the tools for becoming aware are recognizing where you get triggered so similar to the question earlier right so awareness is like recognizing what is it that is upsetting you in life and then investigate that so that’s why i said fear uh suffering frustration these are all gifts for your own evolution yes do you have a non-negotiable daily practice i pee most days important detox yeah

(1:25:47) um i like the expression non-negotiable um no i’m pretty consistent i have a lot of freedom you know like i i naturally have so much self love because i rev i sort of have a reverence for life and i’m part of life so i take care of myself so whether it be my workouts the kind of foods i eat but also i’m gonna enjoy myself you know if i want to polish off a bag of salt and vinegar kettle chips because they’re so good i’m like it’s okay you know it’s like i go more by a 90 10 80 20 rule like you know 90 80 of

(1:26:18) my life is immaculate and that allows me to just have some fun and you know do the things that apparently bad for you you know it’s like yeah so i love that you just went through this this whole deconstruction with jade and then she asks you what is the non-negotiable how long do you meditate every day i know what time yeah because i’m gonna be texting you to make sure you’re doing it all right peter i’m consistent in my uh self-care you know but what that looks like like this morning i walked

(1:26:52) out and did infrared sauna tomorrow i might ride my bike and you know just jump in a coal bath do you use intuition with that is it like an you sit with yourself and say what do you need today or what is the process a lot of that and also like i think you know some of the things that people are now starting to understand about the importance of sleep right like so where’s my body at like you know if i feel like i’m well rested i ate well i might just crush it in the gym you know if i’m not so well rested or maybe my

(1:27:17) sleep was a little disturbed or i’ve been busy then maybe it’s like a light yoga and stretching or nothing you know maybe just sit in the hot tub and you know just meditate so yes definitely listening to where my body’s at um honoring what it feels it needs and you know that is an extension of self-love yeah i have a personal inquiry just about how you did develop your ability to articulate and relay this information and be a beautiful bridge uh gosh i don’t know if i can stake any claim to that it’s like

(1:27:48) asking uh lebron james like how did you get to the point where you could be such an incredible athlete like you know six feet off the ground um it’s part of my makeup right like if a really well um established astrologer would look at my chart they would say i’m a teacher i’m a communicator i’m guru because i have jupiter and mercury in my first house you know if that means anything to anyone out there so um it’s part of my fate it’s part of my destiny is just the nature of who i am and for that reason i

(1:28:16) feel very blessed that i get to do his work in such a profound way that genuinely changes people at the deepest level and and introduces them to a lot of freedom so um i’m the lucky beneficiary shall we say i do a lot of work and i’ve done you know tons of stuff to facilitate that or to enhance it but you know it was uh by the grace of god shall we say yeah jade said before you got on that she feels like you almost channel when you speak you know you’re channeling almost some other whatever you want to call it something

(1:28:47) else yeah it’s sort of i guess you could say it that way i sort of i’m out of my own way i’m not trying to impress i’m not trying to beat someone i’m just allowing like i love as i said earlier the realm of physics right like you know i’ve been drinking some tea here while i’ve been talking to you ladies the physics is that in 30 minutes an hour i’m gonna probably have to go and evacuate my bladder right because i’ve been drinking right so i have really what i call an immaculate relationship

(1:29:15) with reality you know and so what that means is that i’ve become very astute at understanding how physics works and so if you live in a mindset of inadequacy then the physics of your relationship to yourself is going to be in loathing and judgment which means physiologically you’re going to be in a state of perhaps less self-care less self-love right you see it’s yeah i don’t even understand it’s like the matrix i feel like neo yeah i just saw all the code yeah beautiful all right so we ask these short questions at the end

(1:29:48) of every show the first one is if you could hug your younger self right now what would you say bad boy uh i would just say i got you i’ll ever leave you and i love you beautiful if you could have the whole world read one book which would it be mine yeah i don’t even have one that’s a funny response but so it’s it’s a work in progress so for sure i mean come on like who doesn’t want freedom right um it’s out there gosh um i don’t know because it’s so different for everybody you know that’s uh i i i’m

(1:30:29) gonna stick by what i said because i don’t promote myself so i’m saying read mine when it comes out yeah you’re going to develop patience yeah uh you’re writing it in quotes too i heard you saying yeah that’s the format that i write it’s quotes and then i expand on so some of the quotes you use like true happiness is the absence of happiness that i would unpack and give people to because some of them are self-explanatory some of them really need a little bit more yeah i can’t wait for it

(1:30:58) uh okay if you could whisper one phrase to everyone on the planet what would it be if you could whisper one phrase to everyone on the planet what would it be you get goofy around lunchtime i’m always goofy um i would say i love you hmm thank you um okay so before we let you go where can people find you online uh online petercrohn.

(1:31:27) com peterfriend.com awesome and then on social is um peter crone official instagram awesome yeah thank you so much you’re so welcome do you both feel a little bit lighter a little freer yeah definitely i could feel it in my shoulder blades really yeah that’s a good place that’s a great indication of where a lot of people hold tension right yeah yeah that’s awesome so a little more playfulness in uh jade life and a little bit more poop and mercedes yeah that’s what i need he’s covered by peter

(1:31:56) so it’s a triple p we’ve got perfectly playfulness with pedro virtual high five i love it thank you so much okay we’ll talk to you soon thank you so much peter much love [Music] that started to get weird i can’t imagine that feeling awkward wait what do you mean because we got so sped up at the end like we were on hyper speed bad and bad and just like i don’t know it just felt funny what do you mean any let’s act like you just got off no i can’t

(1:32:59) hold on okay that was a lot to take care of crowned into one up you guys with us do you have a like at the end there we needed to like slow down the episode i know but there was still like we had too much to ask there was nothing to spare no and i felt nothing to spare at all and i felt like like i felt like i was contradicting ourselves because i we had we already covered so much and i wanted to cover so much more but i already we had already led on to him that this is our life issue and then after we told them we were like

(1:33:38) we still have more to do we still have more to rush into this episode so we continue yeah we’re gonna let go and we’re gonna just go with the flow of things and we’re not gonna be in control and stick to the outline in-house you helped us not uh you helped us not pile on too much now here’s seven more questions [Laughter] thank god peter as a blessed just patient person is with the world maybe he was trying to be like how are you saying lead by example maybe it’s why he got so playful as he was like come on

(1:34:09) jade he’s like you ain’t seeing it you ain’t seeing clearly what we just discussed all right so look our guests it’s not you know people ask do you ever have divas on no we are the divas like we really we are we’ve had a few things but thank you to peter and anyone else who’s thinking of coming on our show we will do better we’re working on it we’re only 70 episodes in all right look this is where we’re at on our journey don’t judge us okay yeah all right my magic trick today

(1:34:45) yes i got this from peter is to just repeat there’s nothing wrong with me so this is uh in a recent and um in an episode with anahata i um said how i always apologize so that’s like when you’re apologizing you feel like there’s something wrong with you all the time so something i’m trying to practice is just repeating there’s nothing wrong with me and peter says that your ego doesn’t actually want to be healed it doesn’t want to believe that there’s nothing wrong with you but

(1:35:17) it wants to be held so so if you were to think of your ego as a scared child and then show up for yourself the way you would a loved one or that scared little child with love and compassion um he says that we are beneficiaries of life not victims of it so tell yourself there’s nothing wrong with me the way that you would that scared little child so treat your ego um you know like like your scared little child right yeah sounds so so simple because it’s a short magic trick but it’s if you sit with it it can be it feels a

(1:35:54) little complex at the same time but what’s your magic trick i think it’s super complex and i wanted to just add to that that sometimes i notice whenever i accept a new mantra like there’s nothing wrong with me for instance as one i like to also tweak it to be depending on how you’re hearing it you know your perspective and your lens like peter was talking about it might serve better to even adjust it to only positive words so for me sometimes when it says there’s nothing wrong with me i get focused on

(1:36:22) is there something wrong with me because i’m saying the words nothing and wrong like those are negatives in a sense so it’s hard to not use negatives it’s so hard especially if that’s your connotation which is mine you know and so that’s why i’m actively trying to adjust it to something that would only allow positive thoughts to trail behind it so just an invitation if that feels resonant for you to do that and i don’t know exactly what i would change that to but maybe it would be like

(1:36:49) instead of there’s nothing wrong with me it would be i am okay as is yes or you are a marac you know you are a mirror or whatever you are special whatever you need to hear really and your your ego needs to hear your inner child but i think it’s really a beautiful magic trick thank you what’s yours so mine is to get on your indoor plant game so something we all know is that plants give off oxygen and absorb carbon dioxide but what you might not know is that they also absorb toxins like benzene and formaldehyde

(1:37:23) and additionally they help to filter microbes out of the air and research has actually shown that plant-filled rooms have 50 to 60 percent less airborne airborne microbes including mold spores and bacteria so just thinking about the situation we’re in right now how that can be good for us so having indoor plants also helps to increase humidity inside your space and research from the university of norway shows that it actually decreases things like dry skin dry cough and cold and flu and another great thing about plants is

(1:37:55) that they are medicine as you may know by listening to the show how jade speaks on them a lot therefore they are healing and a study from kansas state university showed that patients with indoor plants had better blood pressure lower incidence of pain less anxiety and better healing time and if that wasn’t enough indoor plants also improve your work environment by bringing that peaceful serenity that’s found when we’re out in nature into the home or into your workspace therefore you’re able to be more productive and

(1:38:25) there’s also been shown to actually improve memory and improve concentration uh when you have indoor plants around you in a workspace and there’s a study from the university of michigan that found that having indoor plants increases your memory retention by up to 20 percent so with all those facts stated my favorite indoor plants are those that release the most oxygen especially because of the time we’re going through right now so um you know we’re all stuck indoors a lot so that’s something we need to focus

(1:38:55) on so my favorite indoor plants are the snake plant peace lily and erica palm which is spelled a-r-e-c-a erica palm and the money plants yeah or money tree or money tree um and typically having about three to six of any of these plants or a mixture of them per person in your household or workspace is what’s oh per person yeah i like this it’s gonna have a jungle kid because i’ve recently been um pretty much grounded from getting plants um because when i went to stay with my boyfriend he was like you come with your

(1:39:29) own forest yes yes and then um i told you the story woman but i lined his bathtub window with plants and i told him to go take a bath one time when he was having a rough day one of them fell on him and he said i went from mary poppins to batman i was like how was your bath and you said a plant fell and i said which one he said a cactus fell on me and she didn’t concerned it i’m not concerned of his bodily you know injuries at all but just ran upstairs dirt all in the bathtub i am a plant mom for sure yeah so so i like this rule three two

(1:40:09) six per person that’s 30 plants minimum in my home imagine imagine it now it’ll be a full a weed whack when i walk through the door to stick it in are you guys in here like jumanji in there um yeah so three to six per person uh is what’s recommended to get the ample oxygen out of them so that’s amazing gardening guys i hope you guys find this valuable and use it to increase the quality of your air which i need to get on i will use it all right magic mobbers thank you so much for tuning in and taking this

(1:40:43) journey with us if this episode held some magic for you please share it with your friends and family this would mean so much to us and don’t forget to join us on our instagram page at the magic hour and let us know what your favorite episodes have been so far we appreciate all of your feedback and want to know what’s lighting you up yes we do and we release a new episode every monday so you can catch us again next week or go listen to some of our past episodes in our podcast library now we’ll meet you

(1:41:10) there until then um i think it’s funny when people are like i gotta rock and roll i know like what exactly are you going to do he probably had to pee i think he was lending his i think he was trying to tell us he needed to pee he was like so when i drink this cup of tea like i started an hour and a half ago drinking it when you guys saw me and we talked about how i was eating an apple and then 30 minutes later i’m gonna have to pee it’s been an hour and a half like uh-huh anyway so i have one more

(1:41:42) question to ask you a personal one well i have a couple more questions it just occurred to me i have a personal i know all right um are we terrible or amazing we’re doing it for you listeners if you’re still listening okay love you bye hmm