(00:00) hitting record oh that scared me i know well thank you you know what i’m glad it happened with river because she’s the most understanding guest i know oh some i really i really appreciate you guys so much i i’ve listened to a lot of your episodes now and you have such a great show going and your hip-hop intro and outro i’m such a hip-hopper and they’re just fantastic and really thank you [Music] how much you guys each reveal about yourselves i’m really addicted oh thank you it’s making me my eyes water

(00:43) it really is it’s really touching and it’s really beautiful i love your trajectory of helping the world with your podcast oh thank you so much for saying yeah welcome makes it feel worth it i know it really does sometimes we’re like is anyone listening this is just you and i having therapy sessions yeah i mean there’s so many podcasts out there that just don’t have that higher purpose or it doesn’t shine through your nice shine so thank you thank you so much i don’t know how are we going to patch

(01:16) this up we will figure it out just you know what do you remember where you left off you can edit this out right a little bit oh yeah i left off oh you do okay beautiful yeah if you if you just try to pick up where you left off somewhere kind of do the wrap on it okay don’t even feel like you have to rush or anything because we’re supposedly on great internet situated now a lot steadier okay good thing um what i’m saying is that through these courses i’m teaching right now there um there’s a strategy and a plot

(01:51) there’s an evil plot to create community that really has a high level of these skills and capacities and so that we can have more and more people i’m in austin i’m teaching in austin but so in austin my evil plan is to have more and more people who are built up with these really high level capacities and skills in um in sexuality um not just for me personally to take as a bunch of lovers but so that we’ll all have a lot bigger selection of people that we can interact with on these really high levels with

(02:33) our sexuality so like i’m teaching these courses they’re not just like oh i’m just making a few bucks forget it i’m actually working to create a community that has a much higher level of skills that’s the same thing we do with the east austin kingsters um one of our stated purposes is to raise our king to a higher level together and so we have a lot higher level discussions about how we can really improve our big overall game together yeah and so i’m very interested in seeing the overall

(03:08) skill level rise up in the city that’s really cool and yeah i get it when you say you want to be around other people when it comes to being especially sexually intimate and and and exploring your kinks and any other intimate nature you want to explore or whatever words you want to use for it you want to be around people who speak the same language because that’s huge it takes out a huge piece of the stress and effort of what this all probably means to most people listening and what it means to me which is like that thing we’re talking

(03:48) about when we’ve kicked off this episode of it’s hard to communicate your needs and wants because we haven’t learned the language of how to do that with a partner so i think what you’re doing just having this conversation either even is moving mountains for for me so i know what you’re doing out there in the world and in your community has got to be yeah doing just as much so it’s really incredible yeah that so on to the last portion of the show we picked you long enough with all our questions and after we hang up i’ll

(04:18) probably have sexy dreams of other persons i want to ask you next time so there’s a few short questions we like to ask everyone who comes on the show so first off if you could hug your younger self right now what would you say i would say i’m here sweetheart what how are you feeling right now and what would you what do you need what do you need what do i need right now that’s the most different answer we’ve gotten i think really she speaks to me my my trauma was when i was an infant so i always imagined have

(04:57) holding her just like a little one yeah and she usually wants really important really important things that help me a lot wow so it’s just a baby really he’s so sweet so she’s speaking through the soul wow if you could have the whole world read one book which would it be i love that question and the whole world is a ques it’s a fantastic question i think it would be hitchhiker’s guide to the universe no have you guys read that yeah they made a movie right yeah yeah okay i saw the movie it’s really just uh it’s just about

(05:42) taking ourselves a little more lightly and did you see the part in that book or movie where it turns out that the mice are in charge of us and they’ve been cleverly manipulating us through the experiments we’re doing on them i mean that means they’re actually they’re studying yeah yeah i love it too it’s just a peek into the idea of you know we’re in a simulation or just the thing is all we do as humans is we want control that’s it we just don’t want to feel like we’re in the

(06:14) gray area like we were talking about earlier we don’t want to feel like it’s all chaotic and it doesn’t really actually mean anything because that’s scary and painful and it triggers our you know very innate abandonment wounds yeah like we don’t want to think that our existence doesn’t matter but at the end of the day it really it doesn’t yeah at the end of the day i mean the truth that i think it really does i think it does and it doesn’t at the same time i know head around it really is

(06:51) the contrast though is what makes life beautiful so be thankful that all of it has an equal and opposite you know yeah yeah i like to feel that we have a chance to raise vibration and that our vibration by raising it actually changes the universe’s vibrations yeah and it’s beautiful to have anything that makes you live life to your fullest so you’re enjoying it because that’s what matters and that doesn’t hurt others and maybe actually helps them do the same you know what i mean so i think that that’s a

(07:23) whatever way you want to do that as long as it fits into that see me trying to control it right here but i think that that’s all good with me like i’m good with it that’s your masculine side right totally i’m the container for that that’s what i’m willing to be the container for but i do like that that um book reco because it is like something that that allows you kind of like peek over the the you know the sideline and and peek into this idea that and maybe maybe i should start asking myself some

(07:53) deeper and more existential questions and what actually matters because i think that’s that idea for me is where i started seeking those existential questions are what brought me to to here to today so that’s me just projecting on your book answer if you could whisper one phrase to everyone on the planet what would it be i’m probably gonna go with roomie that i have on my facebook page which is for ages you’ve run from the pain and forfeited the ecstasy hmm for the ecstasy i love all things roomie

(08:36) me too and i just feel that we’re all so busy avoiding the pain and we don’t even realize that like 10 times the ecstasy is on the other side absolutely it won’t go there and many of us will never feel it because we’re so that is one of the best answers we’ve ever gotten it’s so true though for ages you’ve run from the pain and forfeited the ecstasy because i’m just going to start quoting roomie to everybody just that’s it all you got to do um you know we say often here like i said

(09:15) earlier seek the pain for positive gain but we also have said i like to turn us into mystics we also have said it’s never been said before that’s really funny um we say do you want short-term pain or long-term pain and that’s what you’re often choosing between short-term suffering long-term suffering short-term suffering long-term suffering that’s really mostly the question like okay how long are you gonna hold on to this pain before you decide enough’s enough yeah let’s walk through this

(09:47) thing you know muddle through it or drudge through it whatever it takes but that is short term compared to if you don’t ever face it so i love that i love that roomy answer thank you for that you’re welcome thank you before we let you go yeah thank you really before we let you go river where can people find you online the easiest place is uncagedlove.

(10:10) com and that is there’s no d in there it’s not uncaged like the past tense it’s uncaged oh okay that makes so much sense uncaged love and the best thing i want everyone to do is get on my free monthly newsletter which is called the full moon howl and you can easily find that on my web page you can also find that at bitly slash full moon howell which is b i t dot l y forward slash full moon howell with capital f m and h and all of these are in the show notes so if you just want to click on the itunes podcast that you’re listening to

(10:50) we’ll have the links for you i really want to encourage the newsletter because it has a sex positive events calendar for austin and worldwide i don’t know if either of you have seen the event yeah those are some of the best instructors in the world all over the world so even if you’re planning a vacation like it is a great idea to plan a vacation and go to one of these awesome you know sex positive trainings or educational things somewhere fun and i really have some great facilitators and instructors work in

(11:23) there and different trainings you can take for sexual healing and lots of stuff so anytime i find anybody who’s doing an awesome thing it goes into that calendar that’s awesome thank you for doing that yeah i know these are big efforts and i think that like i said earlier the work you’re doing is really you know we talk about people changing a lot you talked about elon musk for instance being one of your crushes yeah he’s doing some major things amazing things and maybe because he’s like very

(11:55) powerful with what he’s doing it makes it very sexy too and now i know your king you know origination so i’m going to psychologize everything you do no but when you’re talking about like something as as um intimate as intimacy or uh as one-on-one you know affecting the one person in front of you it can seem like i’m not doing a big enough thing for the world but literally that’s such a ripple effect that matters just as much as anything else matters you know and i think that the fact that you are

(12:33) willing to do that intimate of work which i think is something a lot of people in today’s world is are steering away from because it’s scary to be that close with someone and so i just thank you thank you for the work you’re doing and for being such a light river and you really are so i was feeling so heavy before um we got on and you really are um light-giving so i feel so much lighter and more excited yes this is definitely going to be two episodes which is more exciting i really appreciate you guys thank you

(13:12) so much for saying that yeah i i was thinking about putting like all my cards in person coaching meetups and gatherings because so many people are going straight to online and everything yeah which is great but i love in person and really when you look at everything i’m doing it’s in person i want to get people together in person that’s where we feel each other that’s where we get to feel each other’s energy we get to create combined power of our energy together uh that’s intense you know i’ve

(13:45) been in several of our meetups where i’ve seen energy swirling through the group because we’re all there placing our attention toward the same kind of thing and a group’s energy is powerful so in person’s where it’s at you know yeah hey when we get to record in person on the podcast we totally get what you’re saying but someone is as bright as a light as you comes right through this yeah it really does um thank you guys so much i really love you guys yes thank you i hope we get to absorb you in person someday soon we’re

(14:20) in austin you’re in l.a or something like that yeah yeah all right well love hugs kisses and stuff too yeah thank you thank you so much river bye you’re welcome love you guys hi love you all right river oh cool she’s she figured it out that was really good yeah i’m glad it’s two episodes me too i think that was really going to be something a lot of people are going to gain something it’s just so different from so when i told peter yeah we’re having on sarah rose he was like you really need to have on river river

(14:56) and i think that that is what i was wanting from sarah rose i know so yeah but you know what got it her episode did well actually indecent okay we love river yay i know you spent so much time with us what a doll i love it okay that was like i’m i’m so this is one of the most exciting for me this is one of the episodes i’m most excited about putting out so i think that it’s going to be something that reaches um i think it’s going to be something that triggers people a lot uh because a lot of the things that we

(15:34) broach in this episode but i think it’s going to do i mean triggering is the beginning of healing in my opinion so if you can look at them when you get triggered and by the way that actually leads me to my magic trick yes which okay so it’s literally exactly what i’m speaking about here about the triggering so one of my really close girlfriends shared a very um vulnerable thing with me the other day when she said that she had to confess that she doesn’t listen to our show often because she’s afraid that it’ll be

(16:05) too sexual and that it’ll shine a light on places that are uncomfortable for her to go right now um she’s gone through some stuff you know some difficulty in that area um so she and i don’t want to give too much away about this person so i’m just going to kind of leave it at that but she has had some issues in that area in her life currently so it was hard for her to look into that right now and you know i thought that this is something worth bringing up here because when she said it to me i was of

(16:37) course immediately relieved to know like her truth and glad that she was able to share that with me and vo you know be vulnerable and feel safe in that moment to do that um but then i also felt like a pang of i want to say sadness because i know that if she’s experiencing that that we’ve got a lot of other people that are probably experiencing the same thing um and in regards to our show of course i want everyone to to listen to the show but moreover i just want to lend this invitation that if you are feeling triggered by anything you heard

(17:15) in today’s episode um and you can even extend that to things that trigger you in your life outside of this episode uh especially when it comes specifically to things around intimacy things around sexuality things around being too close to people because that is a part of intimacy if that is something that you felt triggered by or have felt triggered by just asking you and inviting you to maybe sit with that a moment and see what comes up for you and i know that you know one of the things for me in this episode that triggers me

(17:53) is like i said early in the episode i feel a lot of shame around speaking what i want from a partner uh you know the things that i want whenever we’re being intimate i feel shame around asking those things and it causes me to step into that toxic masculinity thing we were also talking about about um it makes me go i i don’t want to have to ask those things yeah that’s that’s my own [ __ ] though it’s not realistic to say my partner should just show up with those things like we were saying on on the talk with river

(18:32) um so i have to face in me what it is that’s causing me to feel like i can’t say these things out loud without feeling shame around them that’s stuff i have to dig up and you know like i mentioned i haven’t i haven’t fully figured out what all that means for me yet that’s the work i will do and and i’ll journal it and i will report back on this show you know i will so that’s my ask for you guys dig up anything that might have triggered you in this show or in your life right now

(19:00) especially around sexuality um and if you’re feeling even just that just sit with it that’s enough but if you feel really called to do a little more work on it break out the old journal write it down see what comes up and write down your feelings around it and that’s it and just by making that effort you’ve already set your subconscious to work on finding the root to that trigger um you know whatever it’s tied to will show its face so you’re one step closer to healing it and releasing it and i want to do that work

(19:31) with you guys so jump on board that’s the most mercedes magic trick i ever heard i don’t know what that means ask yourself why yeah um but i love it i know i love it it’s it is really good i think we’re getting better at this at this i think but who knows what we’ll think in a year for sure in a year we’ll look back and be like what kind of [ __ ] were we selling ourselves what’s your magic today jade mine’s super simple so i read in the gottman book that we talked about on previous episodes eight

(20:10) dates on the fourth chapter it’s about um sex and intimacy and they said it’s a it’s a proven fact that couples that kiss for six seconds at their hellos and goodbyes okay but they have the most sex out of all the couples that they have i guess done chris get in here i need to say hello for six seconds i love that so six seconds um and you know you always hear about we always talk about the 15 second hug and all that but um a six second kiss at hello and goodbye that it makes such a difference on your relationship that

(20:46) you actually end up having more sex cool i can’t totally see that happening like i’m envisioning it right now yeah i get it even just like a little ass grabbing or a little like touching of your partner as you pass by them just those little moments or when he comes up and like holds me for a few moments i’m being uh what justin and london would call i’m we’re playing that sexual polarity out you know we are creating sexual energy between us um and i for sure a kiss would definitely yeah holding someone and also

(21:21) you think about it too like sometimes you come home from work or you meet up with your partner and you’re so frustrated from so much of your day and you’re carrying all this frustration it’s like bleeding off of you yeah but when they take your especially for me i love when they put their cheek their hands on your cheeks you know okay when they take your face and you’re kissing for six seconds for me that stress melts away and it helps me to switch modes into not letting all that bleed into my

(21:48) partnership yeah there must be an oxytocin release that happens there that kind of overrides the cortisol or whatever shitty hormones you got going through your body at the moment right in that situation i love it i’m gonna do it i’ll report back to you on that as well yeah all right magic mothers thank you so much for tuning in and taking this journey with us if this episode held some magic for you please share it with your friends and family this would mean so much to us and don’t forget to join

(22:19) us on our instagram page at the magic hour and let us know what your favorite episodes have been so far we appreciate all of your feedback and want to know what’s lighting you up yes and we release a new episode every monday so you can catch us again next week or go listen to some of our past episodes in our podcast library now we’ll meet you there until then be alive big thank you to at rayton royal for our intro jam and to john aaron garza from real in motion productions for producing the show stay magical friends

(22:52) okay i’m gonna stop this