(00:07) [Music] mercedes [Music] greetings magic mobbers welcome boys and babes it’s the magic hour a place where we navigate through life’s peaks and valleys with all the vulnerability and shamelessness we can muster with the help of world-class guests from all walks of life we uncover new truths and valuable tools for manifesting our highest potential i’m your host mercedes terrell along with my partner in shine jade bryce hey you guys if you know the backstory to how mercedes and i became friends you know that it all started

(00:49) with bellator we were ring girls together for some amazing fights and there are fighters and fights that we’ll never forget the fighter we have on today is actually one of those fighters i remember the very first time i saw her because that’s how much her attitude impacted me she was just so grateful to be there and i remember you know in the um in that industry you’re like always on flight delays and people are cutting weight and um it’s just it’s long hours everyone’s up late things like that and i remember um just

(01:20) telling myself like some people never even get to fly on a plane i’m not going to complain about flight delays and stuff like that but i remember when she um like she just kept saying over and over i’m just so happy to be here i’m just so happy to be here and she was like like the biggest smile and it just made me think like man i really want her to make it i really want her to be our champion and so it’s just it was so memorable and um yeah i don’t know do you remember yeah i uh recall she was on the undercard at her

(01:51) first fight with us and bjorn the ceo at the time was so impressed with her you know charisma and performance like you’re saying and that just her gratitude that he asked her to come sit at the fighter table for the post post fight press conference even though she wasn’t on the main card which is kind of a big deal for a new fighter yeah super excited to talk to her today so let’s do it jay let’s get around our guest today is a mixed martial artist that competes as a fly away in the ufc called one of the best strikers in the

(02:21) women’s division by fox sports she is known for her quick boxing agility and defense she began competing in mma in 2008 amassing an undefeated amateur record through 2010. she found additional success after turning pro winning each of her fights in bellator and holding a 10-1 record upon signing with the ufc in 2013.

(02:42) she is number two in the ufc women’s flyweight rankings and she proves to us all the time with her positivity on her social media along with her drive in her career that she has more than her past she tells her story to help others know that they can do the same please help me welcome jessica evil eye to the magic hour [Music] it’s a great that’s a great and you did a great job with that i feel like you didn’t take one breath that was great i was nervous because i i was nervous i was gonna mess up a word so i probably didn’t breathe yeah you

(03:13) got a couple tongue twisters in that one so jessica your story um it’s it’s unconventional your upbringing and um there’s a lot of violence in your story far before mma was ever in the picture and there’s actually a lot of strong similarities between your story and mine um can you tell us what your upbringing was like and how that shaped you um i don’t know if we have quite enough time for that in this particular interview um but i i think that you know one of the biggest things to kind of wrap it up

(03:43) because if if you had asked 20 year old jessica um what her childhood was like compared to 30 year old jessica the answers would be much different um but yes i i suffered a very violent a very traumatic and turmoil i don’t know if you could there’s so many words you could use to describe it um as a child but one of the the heaviest things that you know what happened was uh physical abuse um that i do think that led me to where i am in my career and the career decision that i make you know i think everybody you know when we think of

(04:18) abuse we kind of just anytime we say that we’re not really sure of exactly what it is and um i think i’m a prime example of that um the type of abuse that i had was much more physical in the sense of disciplinary than it was um you know sexual or um emotional i mean at times it was very emotional but i think that kind of came with um some of the physical stuff that happened but i can also contribute a lot of those things that happened to me you know molded me into the person that i am today so you know again asking 20 year old

(04:52) jessica those same questions compared to now i you know i i don’t know that i would change some of those things or or or maybe that i i almost would back then at 20 year old jessica you know would have said you know i would have done everything different but you know again 30 year old me says that i’m really thankful for them because it really helped me through all of these years until now and i couldn’t say that until until this point in my life what caused that shift do you think that shift in your perspective

(05:22) losing four ufc fights in a row um realizing that you know the one thing that you strived around you know violence um being being not only someone who does it in a calculated way but also paying from it that i had to realize that um you know there were other things to life and that if if fighting wasn’t all that i had if physical contact wasn’t all that i had you know who else would i be but also the death of my father um you know i mean the there’s a lot that goes along with death so when he passed away you know the the guy

(05:56) that read his um eulogy at the funeral said said those who bear the shackles from the past to the future carry the burden into the future so it’s it’s something that like really you know really really really resonated with me it was something that i really felt like you know how how do you get past those kinds of things and if that if if you’re you know sailing dies or something you know long that mom dad or friend or whoever had been kind of hurting you and that way dies at what point do you you

(06:25) let some of those bad parts of it not not the residue it left not not the good things that it left that you let all the bad memories and you let those things kind of go yeah i think the such a big part of everybody’s heroes journey is those darknesses and figuring out how to turn them into you know light and turn them into the way that molds you into being the best human you can be while you’re here um i’ve read your espn article and your other articles and podcasts that you’ve been on and heard your story so many

(06:59) different angles and i think it’s as much as you probably feel like i feel when i’m talking about whatever you know pieces of my story that i would call my darkest places um you almost feel like you at a point you don’t want to continue speaking them into existence because like okay i’m ready to leave that behind me but i think that so many people especially our followers they reach out and go thank you so much for sharing your story because because it has become you know an example of how you can turn the light uh the darkness

(07:29) into light and so i think that that’s a big part of what your story is doing for other people and the way you’re being of service you know in this world i think it’s i think it’s even because you know like the one of the biggest things i feel like through the years of making mistakes you know and even some of those things having to do with my family and having to do without that like i’m unapologetically unapologetically myself but also even through all the stages of my growth right like yeah you don’t just

(07:56) go from you know the darkness to the light there’s lots of stages there’s there’s gray there’s off white there’s so many colors and um i’m learning all the colors of it and i’m learning and i’m learning that about myself too you know and i’m learning those kinds of things and each win that i put away and put you know in the win column allows me to see things a little bit more clearly but also you know allows me to make sure i project my message as well as you know be a good

(08:24) example to those who can be that i think one of the biggest things i try to lead by example in most possible ways that i can um or at least try not to be a hypocrite yeah that’s tough sometimes i know yeah um i was just gonna say that for our listeners uh and i don’t know if you’ve listened to the show before but a large part of the show is is getting the the guests we have on journey laid out so that it’s really clear how they became great you know how they overcame whatever their obstacles were so is

(08:58) there any parts of your story um that stick out to you that like you remember that was a turning point for a moment where you were like okay i got to get through this and take this on and become something more or i’ll just lay down and die at this point so physical abuse was something my father dealt with as a child he was the youngest of six children um his father was a war veteran and um we grew up in the midwest so my dad was a country man you know he he was rough and um you know being being a boy was super important to him

(09:33) so things for him were always just a tad bit more aggressive you know i i didn’t grow up with girls um in that regard so for me it was always about keeping up with the guys right so it’s always like all right you got to be as good as the guys if you want to go if not i’m going to be stuck behind and i didn’t have any girlfriends to stay back with or a mom so it was like you know i’d much rather be with the guys so i learned at a young age to keep up um with the guys at a very young age it

(10:02) happened to be athletics that really stuck to it so um at a young age i started doing sports up in the you know fifth grade when i started playing basketball basketball was my first official sport that i ever like team sport so to speak um that i actually played that was only a park and rec thing and basketball that’s when i knew sport just sports in general was mine and my dad’s biggest connection between the two of us so um we um we lived in cargo falls which was a suburb of ohio we decided to move to

(10:34) a place called ritztown which sounds a little country town in um in ohio i mean my graduating class from there was only a hundred so it was very very very very small it was a township so it wasn’t even a true city so we moved there um in early 99 and my dad was divorcing his second wife so my mom and my dad you know from the age of one to like two and a half i don’t really remember much of them there’s little glimpses in in times of it um but the the biggest thing was my my my mother shot my father in the chest

(11:10) because he’s very abusive so my dad um was able to gain custody of me and my brother um at a very young age so my dad was very involved in everything i did and very involved in both of us but which brought him to um his second wife a woman by the name of roxanne so we we had all our parents have decided it’s time to move it’s time to get out of the city we’re going to the country and they were having problems they were trying to save their marriage um and you know i was still being a teenager a kid you know at that point

(11:44) fifth fifth sixth grade so you know at that point you know like you you’re still getting understanding being a teenager and of life and boys and and fun little like dance clubs and social media was just starting to get cool then so um my dad there with his uh second wife um it didn’t work out with him and i’ll explain to you why so there was a lot of there was a lot of abuse um there was a lot of just not agreeing on how to raise kids so at that time you know being in fifth grade and you know being ready to like

(12:15) be a young girl and you know finally you know dude like embrace that side of my life um my dad had had a divorce from his second wife and that was like he kind of wasn’t as present as much there was a lot more to it but he wasn’t as present as much but he had just most recently started dating another woman um who happened to be a um exotic dancer so he started to get a little let me do a little bit more things and let me kind of go out and pay a little less attention so at that point i go hey can i go to the dance club and

(12:48) i was able to to go to the dance club he gave me the twenty dollars for it he said go ahead go and have fun with your friends and he happened to be at home that night and um can you still hear me yeah okay um i happened to go home well he gave me 20 to go that night and somehow in some other other way my dad forgot that he had told me where i where i was and my friend’s mom had actually called and said hey are the girls there and we had lied about who we had gotten arrived with but we were where we said we were we hadn’t been drinking we were

(13:24) which you know where the dance club was to my actual residence was about 10 houses so it wasn’t like we were streaming yeah no it was literally raised right there yeah um but my dad was irate um and probably already because of things that he knew that he had seen that happen to women um as well as things that he knew was just out there so um my dad showed up at the dance club and just all hell broke complete loose and that was the article that most people have seen recently that i decided to share in true detail

(13:59) um when my dad had actually beat me up and that’s when he was charged with um misdemeanor of the highest level um and i was actually taken from him for some time but that that was the biggest moment in my life that kind of changed things it wasn’t until we suffered the car accident together that it really really really made things even more um just made the turmoil bigger between him and i and i don’t even know if it was a matter of anything i ever did i think i was really set up for failure as a young

(14:32) girl i think my dad’s just a very hurt man and i think that um my mom and him not working out me looking so much like her and sounding like her at times he would just treat me like you know their relationship and i think that was some of the things that and not to mention he just he couldn’t a really hard time with women you know he wasn’t the sweetest man in the world um he was a very good provider but he just wasn’t he wasn’t a ladies man yeah um i said before um you got on i was talking on the show about how um the

(15:07) very first time i saw you you um i i still remember it because you were um you just kept saying over and over i’m just so happy to be here i’m just so grateful to be here at the bellator press conference and you were just like you were radiating joy and gratitude and so like mercedes was saying about how your story reminds people that like oh well she got through it i can get through it too and sometimes i know we are smiling through pain but the fact that you radiate gratitude and such positivity i think

(15:37) also that’s so impactful for people especially after hearing your story that like oh i can still have a positive mindset and i can still be i can still like do things that make me feel that excited you know so yeah it takes and it takes time and it’s the one the thing is that i i really try to preach everyone’s like i know it’s it’s a lot but you can and every day is a little bit better if you let it you know darkness can only be dark if you don’t let the light in so that’s also up to you you know and i knew i needed

(16:07) to heal and i and i i didn’t like the way that i felt at times and i didn’t like that i seen that some of the things that bled through in my childhood upbringing that started bleeding into my adult upbringing and i wanted child jessica to heal adult jessica thought that that was a really big thing so it’s something i i i i wouldn’t say i struggle with daily but that we all cope with daily and i think that’s there’s it’s a forever it’s forever evolving what did what did you do in order to to

(16:39) you know find purpose in it and make it um a positive piece of your story i think it took years because a lot of people did i mean it’s you know i’ve been in the mma industry for you know 14 years not for many people have known this and one of the biggest things is i didn’t want everybody at first i was like all right people are just gonna look at me back all right this chick’s just a pretty girl she’s had everything made in her life which is far from it because everything has been extremely hard and i’ve earned

(17:04) it all by hard work but that was one of the biggest things i wanted people to see me for face value i wanted them to see me for me and see me for jessica that i wouldn’t come out and tell my story and granted times have changed we’re in a time change where people want to hear your story and want to embrace it but there was a time when people didn’t want to hear it yeah you would have told them they would have called you a cry baby you were you were being this or you were being there and i just you know we’re in

(17:30) a different time that you know it was time to share more and it was in the beginning years of women’s mixed martial arts to talk about oh you know you know my dad beat me and all these things like do you know what the the guy talk would have been like at the gym behind my back they would have been like oh chick’s got daddy issues she’s just fishing for a dude and all these things i would have never been given the chance to be seen for a full value of myself and that’s that’s probably why i still

(17:58) you know i rarely share it with you know on on a very high level it’s it’s going to be shared on a level where it’s truly appreciated on and appreciated me so yeah that’s there was a i don’t know i can’t maybe it was it might have been after i beat zoyla in bellator that i knew that people actually really believed me now you know i think that’s like and that was like when you know like bjorn was into all these things with the women’s division and do all these things and like rhonda

(18:26) was in you know ufc and you know our strike force i’m like dude this is the time like this time and i think i’d actually get an interview that time because my dad um showed up at that fight uh last minute actually because we were going through a moment um and there’s other stories but they’re they’re they’re for other times um but you know abuse didn’t stop until my dad died is what you know most people really truly need to understand like and on physical levels and emotional levels

(18:57) but it’s um he showed up at that last minute and that’s when i knew that um i knew that was the time i knew that that’s when people were going to be looking at me um that people actually cared about you know and i my about and my word my word had value because he said i was gonna do it yeah we had a woman on a psychologist on by the name of teddy sky who talks about women especially um but generally people having what she calls a worthiness wound which is this idea like kind of what you’re speaking

(19:31) to here about our story almost us not being worthy of even speaking our truth because we feel like it’s not going to be accepted because for some reason we’re not good enough or it’s not enough or it’s not i don’t even know it could be we feel like it’s not interesting enough we’re just not worthy of other people’s acceptance um but it is really cool to see that times are changing you know and and that’s kind of the world obviously jade and i live in is is hoping to make that change

(19:58) move along a little quicker um but i was wondering too if it wasn’t you know for you it wasn’t maybe going to a psychologist or a therapist i don’t know if it was if that was any part of it for you but i know you did step into a gym and you know you got into mma and that was a big part of i’m sure your journey to healing as well so maybe you can speak to how mma has made you stronger emotionally um one of the things that my dad did to us as kids um was he made me do a lot teach me how to self-reflect a lot um

(20:33) is is handling my own problems handling myself um i am my best critic i am my worst critic i am i’m everything so one of the things that took you know the hardest for me is it was to talk right so going to a counselor going to someone like that i knew that that wasn’t going to ever help me it wasn’t going to ever help me get my outlet right it wasn’t going to help me evolve and get all this out that when me and my father had gotten a fight when um i when when i left home and when he kicked me out and i happened to find strong

(21:05) style and find those guys it felt like a healthy outlet it just felt like i enjoyed and even as bad as that sounds i enjoyed what i made others feel about me what was once felt to me and i felt like instead of doing it maliciously and you know being somebody who hurt others or did i found that there was a market for it and there was a market for me to make money off of something that was such a bad experience for me that could be for others that sometimes like you know physically was the only way i knew how to express

(21:40) myself you know and it without learning how to do all that physical exhaustion it wasn’t until about midway through my career that physical exhaustion taught me how to be a better emotionally you know and handle things that way because when you’re so physically exhausted you can’t move from fighting you find other ways right like because you’re like i can’t be physically exhausted and feel emotionally exhausted and feel those things so there was um a good outlet and a good way for me to learn how to do that but

(22:09) you know a lot of it was it was self-care and and self um it was all me you know what i mean and i it was me doing it but it was a group of people around me that really influenced me you know strong style fight team was a huge influence in my life you know what i mean like the guys that i was around were a really good group of guys at the time you know what i mean like they really did everything they could there to you know help me be a lady and and treat and and just be be genuine in this sport right like so that was something that really

(22:45) that really helped you know because i needed that you know what i mean like whereas like i had seen women treated multiple ways i’ve seen women you know women that didn’t respect themselves that i didn’t want to be like that were with my dad and his friends and you know i i kind of looked at the example of what i didn’t want and use that as what i did you know what i didn’t want to be so if i’d seen it i didn’t like it i was like well that’s not what i want yeah a good support group is

(23:13) killer yeah um i know also what came to mind for me when you were telling a bit of your story is like i always feel like i’ve forgiven my parents and and then i realized through a toxic partner choice or through some depression that hits that like my inner child is still seeking healing and that there’s there’s just so much more to be done i’m curious what tools you’ve used to aid in your healing and in your forgiveness but there wasn’t the way that i would say it is that is that are you sure that’s just not a trigger for

(23:44) you and that it’s not the inner child maybe she’s healed maybe you’re just looking at pictures you know and those are things like that right like so when i lost fights and and things like that when you look to blame you know or when i’m having a moment i i look to blame i i try to ask myself you know before i blame it on you know my parents something like that and hey it’s just a trigger that’s making me feel this way right do i really feel like these emotions and sometimes i give myself a chance to not initially react

(24:15) but to um you know think about it especially when it comes to those kinds of things like when it comes to big relationships and things that you know are super important right like if you want to tell someone to kick rocks on the internet come to kick rocks you don’t have to think about that but when it comes down to like you and your boyfriend having a huge fight he’s just having a bad day and maybe maybe you’re having a bad day but you’re you’re kind of channeling things or triggering things that or maybe he did

(24:39) something that triggered something in you and then you start treating him different and then you go well you know this is just how i am because of how i grew up at what point do we no longer become we no longer that person who we are when we grew up but we are who we are from the circumstances we’re surrounded by now because if we look at what you’re reflecting now is it what you’re reflecting now that you don’t like and that isn’t good or is it that maybe you’re just not healed as much as

(25:05) you think you are you know yeah yeah digging down to the truth is when you make it about you and you and god compared to empathy and being able to say i can relate without telling your story i think that’s something you know without you know like in a situation where you’re conversing of it but if you see a 12 year old girl and she’s been you know abused in that way you know maybe the first initial thing is not to you know maybe it’s to treat them first allow them and then share with them you

(25:35) know and maybe you have to just look at things that way that’s what i do that’s that’s mine that’s mine i try to figure out when i’m getting triggers or when things are really right yeah that’s hard and basically coming up against cognitive dissonances and going like is this going to be where i decide that this is actually just a story i’ve been telling myself a big lie i’ve been telling myself it’s not serving me anymore and then accept this new truth and change with it or

(26:02) that’s the one thing and it’s just like kind of like a just a little bit more of a breakdown of it you know and i’m still learning it like listen i am terrible in relationships so i’m still not easy i don’t think it ever gets easier i think it’s just like a new layer that’s it you know it’s not easier um so we we see fighters go through some let’s call them explorator exploratory times in their career where they they might be opening new doors in their minds sometimes we see that come through

(26:32) newfound religion or sudden breakdown aka awakening what i like to call them and we often see that happen through plant medicine um with a lot of fighters we talked about on this show specifically but in these instances sometimes a fighter will decide to step back from fighting because he or she no longer feels like aligned with the reasons they were previously fighting for so i’m wondering if you ever felt a wane in your passion or in the direction your career was taking you and if so how do you move through

(27:06) something like that and reframe it so you can still uh make it work for your first three years of my ufc career were absolute hell the first three years i feel like i’m on the swing now like i’m on the upswing of it like i started out really bad and now this is when it gets good you know my first my first fight um you know was overturned for marijuana then i lost four i’ve lost one and then one won and then lost four straight almost got cut that during that time and that’s when also i had some

(27:38) really traumatic things happen to me my dad hit me as an adult um and put his hands on me um and then following doing that he came down with terminal brain cancer and died so it was like three years of like oh my goodness so um there was an 18 month layoff in between there for a shoulder injuries between the alexis davis and the leslie smith fight um and that was like one of the like i’d have to say like during that whole time like in that whole midst of it like that especially i’m sorry it was 18 months after the

(28:13) leslie smith fight um that i thought that you know like things were gonna kind of be better and then when they still weren’t and it wasn’t until i got the call from dana that they were starting a flyweight division that um i kind of knew where my i knew where my um i knew my journey this was just a part of my journey you know between getting cut from bellator not because i wanted to or because i wasn’t adequate you know they cut their women’s division and in that time it was when my career needed most so

(28:42) there was a lot of um experimental times there going up away class learning that i’m not that big of a girl um just there was a lot there was a lot then um as well as about myself about ufc about the difference of between at that time you know bellator is amazing now but at the time the difference between you know bellator and the ufc was light years yeah and learning all that and then you know you know to to kind of top it off with my dad dying and then turn around and finally getting my return to the 125

(29:13) division you know here we are four and one in the division you know as one of the best i i’d have to say there’s there’s got to be some silver lining right yeah you gotta laugh a little bit at it and just and look back and go you know those during all those times moments like this is what kept me strong you know it’s just the future and and i would think about the future being so incredible um that i kept my expectations high um for myself um that’s what worked for me you know keeping my expectations high for myself

(29:48) yeah and i might say just because of what jade was talking about earlier and something we recognized in you early on is your ability to have gratitude and take a moment to like we call it like a sacred pause you know like take a moment to think about what am i grateful for in this situation you know instead of well i wish i was doing this or comparing it to this and that and you know always hoping for something more and something more of course we have that part of us that drives us forward and motivates us forward but

(30:15) being grateful is like what makes the human experience right now like when you’re actually living it enjoyable you know well everybody’s so on to the next thing you know what i mean so i think that that society because we’ve created these um blue check marks and these things that people think that they have to rush so much to get into the next moment that they forget how the reason blue check marks became and these people that they admire how they got to that was by doing the same thing over and over even if it

(30:44) seemed redundant or if it got really hard or seemed completely endless that i mean it’s the only way that it truly generally happens and you can truly be grateful for it because like moments like you know my last fight getting to be here in las vegas after the title fight and losing you know like i got to fight here at home and i got to come home and all of my friends were at my house when i got home you know you’re like we got to leave i just got to leave and watch the main event from my tv right here in the house like

(31:14) that was i was so grateful for knowing of the fact that i had that like that that to me is is if you have good graded you know you’re if you have good if you’re grateful you’ll be able to have those things always yeah you’ll be able to always just be you’ll be able to teach that too because it’s not easily taught yeah gratitude uh breeds abundance for sure yeah i like that yeah so we always have a question from the magic mob for every guest and uh scruffy underscore 11 12.

(31:45) he said thoughts on women’s mma what are your thoughts on women in mma having to be sexual in order to get noticed by media and sponsors and in some cases getting fights i like you you even agree with that or i i you know i think that we all as women right like um you know we all are are who we are right and sometimes who we are like in that way um it’s like okay if you like if you like to dye your hair and the way that you promote your hair is tying it and doing and showing all these things that that’s how you are and that’s what

(32:22) makes you comfortable i think that some of the women do it because they’re comfortable i maybe some of them do it because of that aspect of like the sexual part of it i have managed to make great dudes and my my pictures out there of me and sexuality like i showed sexuality in a different way i was raised by men um i keep myself covered unless it’s truly worth it you know um in that way so that’s just like i think you have to look at the machine right if you’re gonna look at a girl like rachel ostrovic like she’s got

(32:54) she’s got big boobs who wouldn’t want to look at them you know what i mean like in in that way so like she’s marketing what she’s good at you know what i mean that that that might be something that she’s you know good at and if that if that happens to fit to one market that fits the one market i i don’t think that we’re in a position anymore where girls are just getting girls for fights because um we’re seeing girls like amanda nunes and you know people um like valentina who you know they they’re not out there just

(33:23) you know taking their clothes off to get these fights you know what i mean so to speak i think again it’s it’s going back to what people think that is getting us the fight it’s actually our abilities that are getting it but because we live again in such a visually satisfying world it’s hard not to look at it that way yeah i mean like yeah so i think that sometimes these people think that it was like that maybe it was at the beginning but it’s changed now that i don’t think that’s true because

(33:48) you know like i’ve been able to get a lot of jobs based upon things i’ve had both levels i’ve had jobs where you know they’re like hey can you take something off for us you know the jobs was like hey we got to put stuff on so um and one of those being cosmo when i did a body shaming issue with them you know and it was about it was about that and that was one of the things i said is i i’m i don’t people will like me there for who they are and they’ll either get on the you know get on or they’ll get off and that’s again

(34:18) like i think that us as women you just you do you’re comfortable with because nobody on social media is doing anything that they’re not comfortable with because they wouldn’t put it out there and that’s one of the biggest things that we always have to before we judge is you look at someone’s social media and say oh she did that for this well if she’s comfortable with it that’s that’s her decision that’s how she looks at herself yeah i like that i’ve never thought of it that way if she’s

(34:40) comfortable with it yeah it’s just like i mean that it has to be now social media is too influential you can’t even like that’s what everybody thinks about and they spend so much time doing it we have to realize that even sometimes when things seem a little crazy like they want that that’s what they want yeah yeah i think even though with that in mind there are a lot of young girls who are being influenced into making maybe poor decisions that they’ll regret later or maybe not um to post something that’s

(35:10) maybe sexier than they said they would post you know last year but now they’ve seen so many sexy photos or so whatever it is or they’ve seen all their friends get likes when they post something sexy and they want that many likes and it becomes this like contest that is out of our moral comfort yeah but we’re really fortunate that right now social media is in a growth stage i’m so proud of it the ig taking away the likes great right like yeah for people like us to have blue check marks we have

(35:37) analytics we can send it to show people like all right you want to know our analytics i’ll send them to you don’t worry you can see them but for the sense of the young social medias and and the young influence of what it does to young girls that being taken away was one of the biggest you know a great way to show influence because now if if you can’t see of all the people like you you look just for the one person you want to like it but i think that that’s one of them the second one was um like the

(36:04) what the other people are liking yeah on ig also i think that’s another one that’s a really good um to take away obviously it’s not good for people to have that kind of access to what other people are doing um but it also can start fights with people i saw you like this person’s post right like so it again i think social media is starting to change so like you’re saying yes we went through a very early developmental stage where people were just doing that girls were fearing influence but again we’re seeing that

(36:33) you know like we have to make a change and we’re and we’re seeing it you know you mean we’re we’re seeing it on on instagram which is so visually driven that we’re starting to see those kinds of things where you don’t get to know that and you don’t get to make that that choice you know what i mean so yeah i think we’re social media is is finally you know it’s kind of went through it to feel out stage you know i mean it went through its 90s stage so yeah it’s their turn to

(37:00) finally you know embrace some of the good changes and see it i think that we’re going to see a lot better presence on social media for kids about hey saying well this person had this many likes you know what i mean like it’s it’s really going to make comparable a comparability more based upon what it actually is well she’s got brown hair and i got blue hair you know what i mean let’s let’s really do a face for base you know what i mean yeah well she’s tall i’m sure you know like we can give

(37:27) it for true value not like oh well she gets this many like yeah she gets that many likes like let’s let’s let’s judge it based upon judgeable values yeah i like that positivity i hope that we go that direction i haven’t seen instagram roll that like anti-like thing out yet which i i hope they do but i have a feeling so they must on some of them because it’s on some of my my my dog like my dog’s in certain countries it will i would say like my like if you look at my dog’s instagram it’ll do that

(37:57) like even on mine now just recently it just turned over where it like i can only tell likes it just says yeah it’ll say like so they’re rolling it out this picture and others yeah so i think that they are because mine is protesting i know all of australia’s is like that yeah so mine wasn’t mine mine currently mine currently is as well as like my my dogs they’re they’re testing it on pets yeah exactly they did it on the whole pet thing no but i do like the idea that we’re headed hopefully towards uh you know

(38:35) just bringing some reality to what’s really going on out there instead of it being like it’s watching a cartoon show at some point when you’re just scrolling through instagram everything’s so fake and um and and it’s harmful but at the same time you know okay you get off of the phone and then there’s everything else in the media to compare yourself to or you know the jones is next door or whatever it is so it’s just a part of a human condition that i think we need to kind of untangle

(38:59) generally as well like that that we always are trying to compare ourselves to something yeah i agree so we have a few questions we’d like to ask everyone who comes on the show um first off if you could hug your younger self right now what would you say um i would hug her and i would i would just tell her it’s all going to be all right yeah actually i would say to play i believe because that’s my tagline i would just like i believe little baby you’re fine i love that how old were you when you’re hugging

(39:33) yourself um for some reason 11 year old me stands out right now that’s a very popular age for this question i feel like 12 11 12 is like such a transitionary time i think it is i really do i think that’s that age when you’re like really coming to your own it’s like middle school time you know yeah yeah it’s a tough time if if you could have the whole world read one book which would it be um the secret the secret that’s very you yeah the secret um i think that it um could really help change a lot of people’s

(40:16) mindset but as well just teach them exercises a lot of people always go i want to change but then there’s no exercise on how to most people are not that creative [Music] that book gets a lot of flack but i think it’s just the theory of manifesting a theory of visualization i think it’s just a good it works exercise yeah it really is i know that a lot of people like look at it like oh there’s all these other things that could like it’s just about exercising good mental thoughts because that’s all

(40:44) you got to take from it positivity yeah i like that um if you could whisper one phrase to everyone on the planet what would it be take care of your body you only get one i like that i’ve been saying that a lot this week actually your body and the earth those are the two things i’ve been they are they’re all the [ __ ] they’re literally like i’m sure people could dissect it but look as far as i’m concerned i only get one of these physical beings right now so i better take care of her yeah yeah she’s the

(41:18) only reason so before we let you go where can people find you online um you can find me at everything at jessica eviley um on all social medias i’m not getting a tic tac though i’m not doing that like that’s too much everybody’s trying to convince me to do it but i’m not which means that i might end up breaking eventually but i really don’t know i really don’t want another one but you’re trying to struggle against it too i don’t i don’t know what it is i’m i’m trying to stay uh ignorant as yeah right

(41:55) me too i’ve got one i just don’t use it but we’ll look for you there and now you have to sign up no um we we love following you everywhere else so yeah yeah let me know ladies if there’s any way that i can ever help with anything or any future projects i love talking with you thank you thank you so much coming on thanks for being such a light yeah thanks ladies what a little ray of sunshine no it’s so weird like whenever we actually have a bellator fighter on it’s it it hits me even more like because she

(42:31) was a bellator yeah yeah well sorry yeah she was so i think of her i think about bellator yes yeah i know original oh geez but that was such a like there are certain bellator moments that stand out for me and and she’s one of them so um it’s moments like that that i um or it’s when we have fighters on from bellator um you know in a sense that i’m like man at that moment if you would have told me you and i were like still doing this like still in each other’s life and like doing this like i know

(43:04) i would have been so happy i would have been stoked so it’s so cool it gives me gratitude gratitude and excitement for the future because what does that mean for we could manifest that’s so true later what would someone tell me right now about you know five years from now that i would be so stoked to hear yeah and then and that’s the goal we set and move towards it i love it i love it i love it plus she yeah up on me again you done did it again i’m gonna change your name from jessica evil eye to

(43:31) jessica i don’t know we gotta make up a good one let’s see grateful heart grateful heart oh that sounds very indian i like it go with it all right what do you have for a magic trick or you want me to go first i’ll go um my magic trick is to detox personal and mental space and none of the ways of detoxing that i’m going to tell you here have anything to do with detoxing your physical body however they may be just as cleansing or more i think i think it’s very cleansing and all of these are things i’m

(44:06) desperately need of doing myself by the way which is why i wrote this all out so that i could also post it on my fridge okay so number one detox your email inbox and unsubscribe to all that cluttered email that junk email you don’t need number two donate clothing you never wear that i could really use in my extensive closet and number three clean out expired claw products from your kitchen bathroom and cupboards that one everybody probably can go through that and it’s pretty simple number four look through your finances and cancel

(44:42) unnecessarily unnecessary monthly subscriptions which i really need to do i know i’ve got some lingering in there uh and that goes with like apps on your phone too you know if you’ve subscribed to something and then maybe you didn’t even transfer that app to your new phone but it’s just dangerous you really want to go through and delete videos and pictures that are just taking up space that i don’t have so many i think i have like thirty nine thousand yeah i have twenty four thousand good lord what are

(45:10) we doing with all that i don’t know okay uh number five organize your phone and delete apps and pictures so it kind of goes hand in hand with all that we just said number six clean and organized documents and photos on your computer which good lord can you imagine how gorgeous this computer i’m looking into right now would be if it had no it was cleaned out that’s like that right there i could just feel my myself get lighter thinking about it yeah i just need to focus on my closet ugh i need all these things so badly

(45:42) okay number seven clean and declutter your car which is cool because that probably rarely happens if you’re anything like me and number eight last but not least unfollow people on social media who make you feel like crap and this last one comes with a caveat because i we hear things like that all the time oh unfollow that person if they make you feel like whatever i know i see both sides yeah i think we can often like we’re talking about with jessica find ourselves um comparing ourselves to someone else on instagram feeling like

(46:13) crap because of that comparison that we’re creating so like she was saying it’s important to remember that the person on instagram may not be the problem in every case and it might be that we’re creating a comparison to them so when you’re when you’re taking on this last detox step i’d invite you to look deeply inward as you do it and see what comes up if you find yourself triggered by a photo someone’s posting it could be maybe about animal rights and veganism could be about being

(46:43) pro-gun laws it could be a sexy photo someone posts or even an unflattering post that someone puts up but just take a moment to sit with what comes up for you and decide if it’s something that’s actually toxic to you or if you’re giving it the power to become toxic to you by creating a story around it i think if we can get into that practice of using that kind of truth around all the media we consume detoxing our lives becomes much easier and much more sustainable which is the key word there so with that my magic today is to clear

(47:14) out and create space for the things that give us joy remove unnecessary things from our physical space because i truly do believe that that greatly improves our mental health when we can declutter our space um and they say that your house or your room excuse me your house or your room is a direct reflection of what the inside of your brain looks like oh my god so the the um social media one is interesting for me because like the two that i would probably tend to unfollow or like or tend to be triggered by sorry

(47:46) yeah um i love seeing other people’s perspectives it’s never a mind thing for me like if it’s someone else’s perspective or what their conviction is never have an issue but if it’s someone who’s like living life so big and they just like they were at the coolest new year’s eve party and they like rode their bike to patagonia it’s like they’re they’re having these big experiences yeah that’s when i start to feel like crud about myself because that’s when i’m like man i’m not

(48:11) like i’m not making moments i’m not making big moments i’m just stuck in a routine i’m just in the cycle and instead of being inspired and being challenged i i just get down on myself um so there’s that and then um i know most pictures are um [Music] face tuned and filtered but still when i see someone that just it seems like they’re just so put together and they’re just they’ve got great skin and they just have the right curves and all that that’s another time when i feel like

(48:42) credit about myself and so it’s interesting that those are the two things that always come up for me but i am trying to be inspired by and and remind myself it’s okay to appreciate other people’s beauty without feeling bad about my own you know so so when you do feel like crud about something maybe try to switch your um your thoughts on it your thought process but in any case whatever you do it’s about figuring out how to stand in the truth with all that because that in itself in every aspect of the word

(49:14) figuring out truth in every moment will declutter your life on its own accord so um but i like that little insight and i was gonna say you know you i know you have a routine you have these two toddlers who you are raising alone essentially and you have a routine that has to be followed in order for your sanity to be intact and of course you have to be home because you have these kids you have to be with them you know when i say home i mean like in austin you have to be there a lot of the time and you know for instance i

(49:48) i’m gone all the time with work and i’m traveling a lot and i don’t have much but my two cats to tie me to a certain place so i i’m on the road a lot but a person like me looks at someone with routine and craves that and sees that as like oh that looks amazing you know i see the person who’s always advocating some fitness routine or something like that and i think wouldn’t it be lovely to just wake up every day and be able to like run on the same beach and know what to expect yeah and just to have that kind of

(50:17) schedule so i think on every end no matter what that’s just like i was saying earlier too to jessica this is part of the human condition for us to always be comparing so i think if we can figure out how um to make it the healthiest possible version of that we benefit the most from it so yay let’s do that okay yeah okay let’s go on let’s move on there’s too much to say we could go on but that’ll be for another show uh so mine is um it’s i i don’t know if i feel like you might do this already

(50:49) but coconut oil pulling so especially when you’re sick so um basically as soon as you wake up uh especially it’s important that you do it before brushing your teeth you swish one tablespoon of coconut oil make sure it’s organic unrefined all that stuff um in your mouth for and this is hard but for 15 minutes so what i like to do um is um maybe put it in right before you get in the shower and then just try to do it the whole time you’re in the shower um so for 15 minutes and another tip because some people they’ll gag because

(51:22) it’s like something about the taste of it really bothers them something you can do is put xylitol or stevia or um a lemon essential oil you can put like little things that um like those because those xylitol the reason why i say xylitol is because that’s actually uh good for your teeth yeah i’ve seen that taste yeah and then lemon essential oil helps with um with it’s a pathogen it’s an extra pathogen fighting power so lemon essential oil is so that’s why i recommend those two but um the other important tip is not to spit

(51:55) it in your drain because coconut oil can actually build up in your drain and cause issues so always make sure to spit it in the trash um and then brush your teeth because then you can get all that it’s great you know feeling up yeah but the benefits are um it whitens your teeth uh it helps prevent gingivitis and cavities it kills bacteria that causes bad breath it reduces inflammation and bleeding gums it improves metabolism and detoxification it reduces tooth sensitivity and pain and it helps clear the sinuses but

(52:25) because it is um coconut oil is microbiol if you are having if you feel like you’re about to get sick or you’re getting a sore throat it’s one of the it’s one of the best things you can do besides you know like oregano oil or something all right you guys thanks for listening we hope you found this conversation as enlightening and as um gratitude invoking as we did if so please share it with your friends and family this would mean so much to us and remember that you can go to our instagram page at the magic hour to ask

(52:53) us or any of our future guests a question talk to you guys next week until then thank you to jessica i for being on the show today and to at rayton royal for our intro jam and of course to john aaron garza from real inmotion productions for producing the show stay magical friends [Music] it’s the magic hour mercedes [Music]