(00:00) but everything sounded good okay also um because we normally send it right when we get off that way um like if you close your computer you don’t lose it you don’t have to email it you just go to wetransfer.com and it sends it for you do you want me to try doing that right now um if you want to but if you got to meet you guys i don’t mind adam did you do a test already with her i haven’t no no so i can do that that’s important then i’m recording right now too so i’ll send you my chest as well

(00:27) right now adam and send it and then i can quickly i’ll check it okay you guys do it all right let me get to that and then i’ll stop the recording right now okay one second stop the stop is the black button i know it’s always try and push the red button test and then jessa do you want to walk through you know how to get how to send it so you go x you go file tell me hold on one second it’s not okay so wait i have to sign up right now for we transfer that what i have to do you don’t have to sign up oh

(01:04) it’s just a website i’m on the wetransfer.com and it’s saying add to your files email to your email all that do i have to do that yeah so did you so what did you do with the audacity test did you save it um no so tell me how to do that yeah so go on audacity and then click file and on file go down to export and then go to wave wav got it okay and then put in there like jessa test or whatever you want to put save that and say okay on the next screen that asks you some [ __ ] it doesn’t matter and save it as uh documents yeah that’s

(01:43) fine uh save as wave no no no yes okay okay it’s fine okay okay yeah so test okay and then do what press okay for the next one yeah okay and then go to wetransfer.com now on your safari or wherever i see it yeah and click on add file i’m doing it with you so i’m that’s what i’m going hey adam adam mine just sent to you okay you’re on take me to free or whatever on we transfer right you just down the free one yeah so add your file find your file there and stop that documents okay perfect and then include that and put

(02:16) adam’s email address adam what’s your email address uh adam redfox audio redfoxaudio.com okay let me get my email and then on the test okay so let’s see mercedes you wrote down like three bullet points that i can’t remember besides the we can take anything out yeah i did they’re downstairs i could go grab them i guess well adam’s testing i’ll be right back yeah okay let me just check chad’s okay and you should have got mine as well okay thank you yeah no problem thank you let me see

(03:28) yeah it’s just comfort okay i’m just going to quickly drop off the call girls um and i’ll be back in one minute we’ll just what i just want to check the audio okay okay so uh oh just to eliminate any of course like extra noise that might be going on in your house background etc if you can because otherwise it’ll come out echoey and scratchy like our last i like that you’re like lounging on the couch because it’s like we’re really getting to like conversate with you like it’s it’s

(04:08) my life right here i live right it’s so much more personal than people are i mean i know you do like stories and stuff where you’re like lounging but it’s like so much more personable than you would probably see in a podcast yeah usually it’s in a studio so well that’s what i when i had my podcast too i felt um it was very rushed and it was kind of cold like it wasn’t as warm and fuzzy feeling i think as this is as well mm-hmm it was more staged and more production and it had all like the

(04:36) the flair to it and so people were kind of like they they felt like they had to be on their best behavior and how they spoke yeah would translate and be more like um not so genuine i guess yeah yeah okay girls so uh jessa and mercedes yeah sounding great jade can you just um just confirm that in audacity you are using your mic because you don’t sound how you usually sound uh my mic is definitely farther away from me this time um but in audacity i’ve got oh no it was not a good catch uh it’s actually not even an option

(05:17) okay so maybe you need to restart and plug your mic um wait where does it where am i supposed to be seeing it where it says built-in microphone mercedes can you can you help us i don’t have a dust city open right now which yeah is it the one on the left uh so you have core audio to the very left no um [ __ ] uh no i got core audio okay then the next one should be yeti stereo microphone in the middle it’s not giving me that option and is your mic obviously the the is it plugged in properly is the light on on it

(05:59) these dang toddlers give me a second sorry about this guys wow everything’s fine um jessa while she’s doing that so the other things obviously like i saying eliminate any noise if possible even if you have your ac going if it’s like you’re in a place where it’s loud it’s awesome if you turn it off for just our little the time we spend here um try not to disturb the microphone either on your earphones or on your computer whichever were you using your phones you’re using your just your computer i’m

(06:34) sure sure it’s just the computer okay so yeah i don’t think there’s anything on here yeah just if you have papers or anything like that just don’t we had problems with them rubbing on there before so just want to make sure that’s said and then um be as liberal as you would with us if we were just having a girlfriend chat because we obviously want to hear everything you have to say and get as deep into anything you want to get into as possible and you will have last cut on anything in the la la la la

(07:02) [Laughter] um we’ll basically send you the episode make sure you’re good with everything that was said prior to using it so does that make sense the one thing that i do want to change maybe is some lights because i feel like it’s just gonna get dark or dark in my room oh yeah you were by daylight yeah you turn on the light okay yeah it was um probably not like pushed in all the way and so it wasn’t coming up as an option but now i have it on there okay cool cool cool so i guess we’ll just i’ll i’ll wait for jessa to

(07:34) come back and remind her to hit record again on audacity then i’m gonna have to leave you girls to it is that cool jade you’re recording now on audacity and mercedes are you going with the e-cam as well yeah i am um e-cam’s already going okay so i’m going to send this to you real quick adam i think that the audacity is going to have the test at the beginning of it is that okay well that’s fine okay continuing to from that point i guess yeah jessa did you remember to hit record again in the audacity software

(08:09) no are we ready to go just start just starting now it he’ll pick it up just starting now just so we get god forbid once again because we don’t we’re scared we’ll forget and then the so when you start it you’ll see the green line bouncing in the green thing okay perfect awesome all right adam i sent it to you it’s done okay well i’m gonna i’m gonna hang up and leave you girls to it um again are you checking jade’s test before we start i’m gonna oh yeah let me check let’s

(08:39) let me hang up and then i’ll i’ll i’ll give you the all clear okay thank you already yeah yes it’s only like a minute long thanks jessa for hanging in here with her it’s all right i actually don’t have uh kiddo so i have the night to myself tonight oh oh i know fancy yeah that didn’t that sounds foreign to me it actually isn’t as cool as you think it would be you kind of just like look it’s like thank you thank you thanks for coming on chester and um just be patient with the

(09:18) upload at the end uh because obviously it’ll be a big file to upload so it may take like 20 25 minutes adam are you doing that tonight or no he’s i don’t think so but if if [ __ ] is the phone just call me yeah um we will i’ll try to also remember to remind jessa about that because i always am the one who shuts my computer early and [ __ ] that up so hopefully i’ll remember you girls have got this you’ve got it all right bye bye yeah even when scott takes the kids with him to wherever he

(09:53) goes and i have two hours like two hours is the max i’ve ever had um it’s usually like on a day i’m gonna do like a plant medicine ceremony and i need my time but when he does that i’m like come back i don’t like it yeah you miss like someone i want them to leave because you need the space but the second that they’re gone it’s like really oh yeah something about like i don’t know being in the it’s almost like feels spooky not like spiritual spooky but just like spooky like where’s

(10:22) my family you know i don’t know yeah i’m saying it’s real quiet yeah look i don’t like this no i don’t know about all that but um because sometimes i mean two hours is not a lot of time sometimes i could spend two hours sitting on the toilet instagramming like that’s not that’s not hard but if your children would not be doing that again my friend has like they switch every week and it’s been like two years since she still cries when she drops off her son she was like i don’t know why i’m not

(10:50) excited to go like get pedicures and go do all the stuff i want to do she’s like cries i have no problem dropping my kid off i need a [ __ ] break go i’ve had you long enough yeah this i you’ve got a lot that you can do though i don’t think i think she like her role really is identified as a mom like she doesn’t another thing too i feel like a lot of the women that i surround myself with have the same mindset as me where they like to work and they don’t really like to stay at home i don’t think i could be

(11:18) a stay-at-home wife and mom that’s just not in my blood i wish it were i’d like to just relax and have somebody pay for everything while i take care of the kids but i just would like to make things harder on myself and just have five million jobs and children and take these little children but wouldn’t you dan would have locked you down would you be down to like have a nanny though i mean okay so i take my knee she’s with me all the time i take my niece with me to the park and i see a lot of nannies

(11:45) there with just one kid and for like a second i’m just like oh that would be nice yeah like but no i don’t think that i could especially if i was a stay-at-home mom i don’t think that i could do that i think that that i would feel guilty about that like that’s your job so i have someone come clean my house only once a month and she’s only here for an hour and a half and i have to leave because i feel guilty being there and not cleaning while she’s cleaning oh my god you guys are live in

(12:10) such a different way she only does the deep cleaning but like i’m like okay we’re gonna go i like pretend that we’re going to gymnastics i’m like okay we got to go to gymnastics and we’re like go just randomly because i can’t be there while she’s cleaning see i’m there like [ __ ] you stealing something from me you’re worried about [ __ ] in the room i don’t have anything i’m like why didn’t i just [ __ ] clean this room i’m standing here like no not me you know that took a while though

(12:35) to be like that because i i was thinking in my head like 120 dollars for somebody deep clean my house i’m like no like i could save that money i’m like oh no i don’t want to [ __ ] do baseboards no you can come to my house i’ll pay you 120 so that’s part of the reason why i hired her because she’s my my friend is a teacher and she teaches this woman’s kids and she this woman like really needed work and she only charges me 65 so i end up giving her 80.

(13:02) but that’s like nothing i mean that can’t really be bought like what she does in here and scott doesn’t know um but she only speaks spanish and every every now and then scott uh so will tell scott like spanish lady papa you’re a moy guapo and scott’s like where are you learning spanish [Music] nanny and i mean there was no communication it was pointing and like after like five years of her living with us i don’t think we even learned like five words that’s sad right this lady and soul have a connection like they

(13:43) like talk as if they speak the same language that’s adorable it’s really weird i had a spanish nanny her name was sylvia and uh well i don’t have a nanny but she well i guess she wasn’t annie because she like there every day um but she didn’t live there or something uh but she was like like my obviously i’m half mexican and my my parents don’t speak spanish my mom is second generation and third generation so um my grandparents speak spanish and we lived on their property at the time but

(14:17) i didn’t ever for some reason pick it up sylvia never spoken around me i think my mom like my mom used to tell me we’re spanish not mexican for some [ __ ] weird reason like she was does it sound better i think i think at the time being mexican it was like an issue you know like she grew up at a time yeah or my mom my mom grew up i think more in a time when it was not like a good thing it’s still a good thing it should be bilingual yeah you should know mandarin too yeah exactly like i was not going to get jobs because i spoke

(14:46) spanish mom calm down i forgot that we’re recording and i know that uh he’s going to put this as an outtake and then scott’s going to find out i have a cleaner like don’t put that in i miss that but i was gonna say sylvia though the thing i do remember about her is that we had a big earthquake and she put me in the closet because like you know you’re like under the you know she put me in the closet like under the door jam yeah and it was my first earthquake so that’s all i remember because it stuck with me

(15:19) because my first my first day earthquake was with you mercedes where were we in oklahoma you were banging on my door and the strobe light was going off and i was completely naked so i grabbed my bellator that’s all i had and i was like you’re saving that was your first earthquake it was in an earthquake it was a tornado because she never lived in was she only living like a tornado you dumb it really [Laughter] it was one of those disasters it was in oklahoma there are no earthquakes there but we went down there and all the cast

(15:48) was like drinking uh wine and eating like or dirt i don’t know like fancy little treats yeah as if it was nothing no you know what they had they had [ __ ] um but you were scared they were like in between the soda machines yeah no they had bean bruschetta as soon as we walked down they handed us a cup of plastic cup of wine and beans is the middle of the night and only like my second show and i’m nude under my bellator rope and just had stopped through like a foot of water because the the door had slammed open the tornado

(16:16) was pulling all this water into the hotel at the base of anyway we’re like at a hampton inn yeah yeah and so we go to the front desk because we’re all nervous holding our bruschetta and our wine and we’re like um you know is this tornado yeah is this okay because the light the power’s off and she’s like if it was bad the air raid siren things would go off you’d hear it and then literally right then like a [ __ ] cartoon it went off and she’s like oh and she’s like um well we don’t have a shelter because we’re

(16:44) asking you guys have like a tornado shelter she’s like we don’t have a shelter but the you just want to stay away from the window so you can go into the room where the soda machine vending machines are and you like got in between and you were tweeting about it and i was like what’s twitter because it was only like my second show and i had no social media this is back when we were all children totally yeah what’s twitter this is what like seven years ago right now or six years ago i don’t know no it

(17:10) would have been when twitter’s first came out like seven or eight years ago it was 2010 or 11. yeah i remember my phone was [ __ ] dying because there’s no batteries back then at all terrible that was a scary problem i couldn’t tell anyone i was gonna die that’s terrible uh funny oh i was gonna say do you think we should do like we should just probably intro this whole episode with jessa on the phone to see how it flows if we need to redo that part we can later because it’s really well i don’t want to take up her time

(17:43) but the intro to jessa is long enough okay well only because we reference where we met her but either way let’s just we just go straight in yeah that way she doesn’t have to worry about muting herself or whatever um you’ve got a pretty long intro to her yeah i thought i do that sometimes no it’s good that’s how i want to do everybody um so i would start at uh so without further ado all right trying to find it there you go all right guys are we all settled and ready i think so um and if you have any like

(18:42) i don’t know issues for any reason i don’t know something you have to do in the middle of this just let us know we’ll cut it out and we’ll stop and take a moment in case there’s a tornado if there’s a torn if there’s an earthquake by the way like literally last week or whatever it was did you feel that earthquake jessa here um i might have been out of town oh well i was on this not doing a podcast but we were we were um brainstorming or something yeah and [Music] i totally had an earthquake and i was

(19:10) like wait we’re having an earthquake jade’s like i don’t know like it felt like i had to do something so i had to run downstairs and go like just to make sure everything’s nope we’re all here okay bye everything’s good like so wait where is everybody right now where do you come in austin and that’s where you live okay and then what about you costa mesa costa mesa okay so you’re it’s orange county oh yeah yeah wow in hollywood uh i’m in sherman oaks i’m in the same apartment right then i react you’ve been

(19:41) there so long [ __ ] i know and that’s how i want to be for it no no oh it’s not rent controlled no santa monica is rent controlled and i know a lady who lives in a two-bedroom apartment two miles from santa monica beach for 560. because she’s lived there for 21 years and one in one apartment for 21 years her rent’s 560.

(20:03) two miles from the beach i don’t know you can get rent control or whatever like that there’s some places brian my makeup artist she has a one bedroom it’s not in the best part of town i would not ever want to live there but even in her area it’s i think one bedrooms are like 17 1800 and hers is 900 a month so it’s ridiculous yeah texas texas has rent control yeah that’s what you do when you have kids you stay someplace because his school yeah here because it’s [ __ ] school and when i was growing up people would

(20:33) say that like oh we’re going to move to whatever state because it has the best schools i’m like who gives a [ __ ] you’re going to learn the same stuff and then now that you have kids right now but that matters yeah and in another state you could just afford to buy a house and [ __ ] stay there you know i mean vegas vegas actually sounds real nice right now with the prices i was looking at um what is it zillow and i was pissed because i could just stay there and save so much money and their private schools there

(21:01) yeah but nothing compared to his school now like he’s obsessed with it and i really like it so scott just got offered a ton of money to open up uh and run a weed farm in oklahoma because it’s gonna be legal at the start of next year and so they already bought the land and they’re like ready to go um and it’s super cheap but it’s oklahoma like i mean he’s like what if we did it for two years and made a lot of money but that was a really really hard for me i felt so bad because he was super like

(21:30) excited like guess what we’re finally out of the bar industry and i was like did you consider new mexico like because they’re about to make it legal too so i was like i don’t know if oklahoma would be my last choice yeah i couldn’t tell you like if i had to live anywhere besides california or maybe new york like i couldn’t tell colorado for me really colorado for me where i’d have to go and stay there for a minute to just check it out to see if i could even fathom living there yeah i don’t even know where i would

(21:59) live i’m thinking i love orange county i would live in orange county well yeah that’s here still california yeah [ __ ] pricey i could live anywhere it would be lucadia which is in encinitas it’s in between san diego and l.a pricey though still it looks like hawaii oh you can’t even find a place to live nobody lives there yeah it’s hawaii it looks like hawaii it’s so beautiful we want to buy a house in bali and like live there half time i mean that sounds like the dream i know but it’s like such

(22:27) an upside down you can’t actually buy a house in bali i think yeah you have to like rent it from the government or some [ __ ] but it’s well that’s nice cheaper you can get a mansion for forty thousand dollars yeah i wanna take tyler there i just can’t he won’t do the flight it’s so like there’s no way i know and i really want to take him there but they’re just having to get a really cool layover halfway yeah for like a couple i gotta lay over and um go to taipei yeah i got a like i used to fly to taipei all

(22:54) the time because of um top rank but i mean i didn’t like anything there maybe i didn’t see all the i got a layover in beijing and climbed the great wall of china there you go and it was it totally made that flight not seem better like breaking it up it was like i was i was happy to get back on that flight after that excursion can you go where can you go which way do you fly fly over hawaii right that direction yeah you’re coming from so nothing else is really closer because you’re in the middle of the [ __ ]

(23:22) ocean so i don’t know well he’ll just have to wait a few years pay for his flight if he’s gonna [ __ ] the whole time i’m good on that all right guys if we keep chatting you know we’re never gonna get this [ __ ] thing and it’s funny because every everything we’ve talked about has not had anything to do with the previous thing it just sounds like they’re ready it’s like it’s like it chopped itself yes you know though i might do even though you can’t hear it it’s gonna i’m

(23:50) gonna be pissed if you guys play it back and you can hear it in the background it’s like um a humidifier but it’s like it’s silent but i feel like you might pick up something so i’m gonna turn it off okay yeah okay good idea hold on i don’t know why my room gets so hot when i do these maybe it’s cause my nerves mine gets super hot because i have to close the door and turn off the ac and it’s [ __ ] hot here well i have my fan even on this time i got i had them tighten it to where it didn’t make

(24:14) noise because remember i would always turn it off i had them tighten it still sweating oh yeah that when you like when you were like uh turn off the air conditioner if it’s on i’m like i know like chris is like mine’s not loud i turned it to 68 for like the hour before this so that it would be cold enough he could turn it off um which is funny because just before this he was like in the steam sauna like we have like one of those little funny steam saunas i was sitting in after working out so like well you’re putting

(24:44) your temperature up to like a million degrees right now but you’re worried about i don’t know the heat yeah yeah men men all right guys don’t get us started here we go i know don’t we’ll get to that so without further ado let me introduce today’s guest undoubtedly the sexiest redhead we know and and uh sorry you threw me off jade an internationally an internationally known playboy playmate a lover of all genders a fellow pizza fanatic and perhaps most importantly of all the most amazing mother and soon to be

(25:29) foster mom please welcome our good friend jessa hinton hi guys hi jessa hello so jessa jade and i just love you so much and i’m not sure if this is going to come off super creepy but i kind of hope it does but we decided that if we were into girls we would definitely pick you i’m flattered i don’t know is that weird not creepy at all you’re just such a dope chick and and we’re stoked to have you on the show so thank you for being here oh thank you i feel like i wouldn’t have to work out

(26:05) because i’d just be burning so many calories laughing all the time so you’d be eating pizza together quite often yeah that’s fine that’s fine so i’ve been seeing your post about becoming um a foster mom and i’m super intrigued on how how this all came about yeah um i actually i mean because kyler’s 10.

(26:26) i have a 10 year old son and i’m not getting any younger so i was looking into maybe even freezing my eggs i looked into just heading to the sperm bank knocking myself up i’ve never believed in staying with somebody i know a lot of women will jump into relationships because they feel like their clock is ticking i was never somebody that believed that i always thought that i could do it on my own and i actually connected um with angelina jolie when she started adopting i’m like you know what i see myself doing that in the

(26:53) future now and i would be totally okay with it so when i was looking at all of my options adoption was more on on the list not really fostering and then i think honestly i saw an ad about fostering in this whole process of me trying to figure out what i wanted to do if i was going to close up the baby maker for good if i was going to give kyler a sibling or if i just wanted to travel as soon as kyle was out of the house like i didn’t know but i wanted to keep my options open and i started looking into fostering and something

(27:20) just went off it was like a light bulb that i went from zero to 60 and i just i i got all the facts i was blowing up my social media people were like whose account is this because you don’t understand but the outreach that i got from people interested and people that have been interested was amazing so not only did i learn a lot and i became i became involved but a lot of people that follow me male and female were asking um advice and asking questions and how they could help out so it actually became this

(27:49) domino effect that i’m very proud of cool that’s awesome how has the process been has it been like easy or frustrating i saw some of your posts today so no so i actually um i didn’t know that this was going to be a skype video call so this is me from six in the morning when my child got up to go to school um as soon as i dropped him off i literally started knocking on doors because people won’t call you back unless you’re going to um offer them money so our foster care system they don’t really care about volunteers they

(28:22) don’t care about how many followers i have that want to help out and donate blankets and and clothing and stuff all they want to see is a check and i understand that they need money for um these kids but if i don’t know where it’s going i’m not gonna blindly donate that’s not something that i’m personally into so i for everybody that didn’t return my emails or my calls i went and i stopped in and i was turned away almost every single time i have a meeting tomorrow morning that i hope is gonna go well it’s with a foster

(28:49) agency out here the only thing that i feel that really hurts is these kids have no mentors they have nobody so you can you can take in a kid and you can care for the kid but a lot of these kids get bounced around especially ones that have had really traumatic experiences they will be returned and these people if you if you foster a kid you get paid to foster kids so a lot of people are just doing it for the paycheck it’s supposed to go to all the needs that the kids require so it doesn’t come out of your

(29:17) pocket so these poor kids that are super you know just wanting any kind of safety or any kind of security and to know that they’re not going to turn out any differently as if you know you were to have your own child there’s nobody talking to them telling them like hey i came from a bad place and i made the best of it i’m pretty happy so i even asked them i said i have a lot of friends that are connected that came from nothing and they’re they’re either adopted or they were homeless or there’s

(29:43) a lot of situations that had happened they would love to come in and speak and it’s like you can’t get anywhere with these people these people don’t even want you there so yeah why is your job trying to help find homes and and find ways for these for these kids to um become better human beings and to really have a chance if you’re not listening to anything it’s literally like they’re there for just a paycheck and they don’t care so for me i’m a super passionate person and i’m taking my time to come in and

(30:11) donate you know as much as i can and for you to treat me like less than it doesn’t make any sense to me so the process has been actually very very hard it’s um did you voice that to them or oh a hundred percent are you i did able to testing and and um well they told me i could write a letter okay so here in austin i tried to do um a couple huge christmas drives where we would drop off gifts um and they i did it and they wouldn’t let us drop the gifts off and i was so upset and so hurt and they basically said like i’m so

(30:46) sorry but there’s so many evil people in the world that like would hurt children and like it’s a way of us like it’s a it’s part of us having to protect them like we’re not allowed to let people who aren’t like already part of the system like come in and give or spend time like they have to be so careful which so it’s like i understood but i was also so upset because i was so excited for those kids to get this stuff um but i and also you saying about them having mentors um i don’t know if you know my background

(31:15) but i did a similar um had a similar childhood of foster care i like would live with one family that was either a family friend or i had run away and i was living in my car so i would stay with a friend um and her parents at their house so i hopped around a lot and i will say that no matter where i stayed i never unpacked my bag because i knew i always felt like what’s the point like i’m already feeling well and i always think about it though like this started at age 10 and i this was my life till i was 16

(31:48) and um yeah so i never felt like i belonged anywhere or to anyone and it made it really hard you know later on in relationships but i it like it has so much effect on your confidence and um your schooling and just your your entire future but um i i remember the day that i went somewhere where they told me it was going to be permanent like i remember going in and it was the first time i had had like in a long time in years that i had had like my own room in bed and they they were they were so loving and like the next morning like wanted to know how

(32:34) i slept and like actually like asked about how i was you know and i remember the first the first time that i like unpacked my stuff and felt like and i went to hi i was a sophomore in high school and i went to school and i remember telling people i think i met real live angels yesterday and i like that’s really how i felt i didn’t feel like they were human so well also too not even just volunteering or mentoring to become a foster parent it’s like they’re setting you up for failure like they want to

(33:03) to not foster them which is so crazy the amount of paperwork that i’ve had to do is ridiculous and and one of the things is um if you have a sitter or say anybody’s around this child for over i think it was like 24 hours within a week with a week they all have to have a criminal background check so my dad my sister my brother and some my brother has a dui so i don’t even think that that my brother could be it’s just like all these things it’s like look i can just go get knocked up right now

(33:29) yeah and have none of these one but these children need but that’s what i’m saying that’s what sucks though is there’s people out there like me that are just like geez like what like what do i have to do like can you just come monitor me like my family are great people but you’re telling me that my loving amazing siblings made a few bad decisions and you can’t even let them around this kid and i get with it where they’re coming from because it is protection they see some some [ __ ] up [ __ ] and i get that but

(33:58) again it’s like well then for people like me we’re kind of getting the [ __ ] under the stick because of all of those horrible horrible people doing these things to the kids so it’s like who don’t have anything on their background no nothing because they’re like they slip by and you know they’re able to um go under the radar and scare these kids enough that they won’t say anything and i’m hoping that the phone call that i had today on the way home is with a woman and i had a really good conversation with her on the

(34:25) way home right before i got here and i’m going to meet with her tomorrow and she sounded very loving but very eager to learn about how i want to help and she sounded more um compassionate about the kids this is the first person that i’ve not dated yet no but she’s been doing this for so long and i think that she’s just kind of like resilient she’s like you know what everybody else can be [ __ ] up i’m gonna still be me and that’s kind of how i feel too i i don’t raise kyler the

(34:51) same way as a lot of parents do where they’re super strict and they have all these real rules kyle’s grown up in in a house of respect i respect him he respects me and so hearing this woman talk it kind of made me feel like ah like i could breathe because i’m not gonna give up it might be a lot tougher i don’t don’t but i’m not gonna give up so that’s gonna find the good the good people to deal with right set you up with my friend um he’s the one who actually created and made it a

(35:15) national day for the national world adoption day or world adoption day um he started an organization called adopt together.com or dot org and um they help people that are having a hard time that are like running into constant blocks after blocking amazing i wish so the knowledge is out there just you really have to dig to find these people yeah his name is hank so um it’s adopted together.

(35:42) org yeah his number and anyone else in the situation that’s listening look up adopt together.org because they are amazing that’s super helpful to have someone on your side who’s been through the gamut knows all the tricks i don’t know anybody i don’t know and the few people that i’ve talked to in passing actually met my soul mate on the airplane to hawaii um she’s a female but she is um i think in her 50s and she’s a cool badass chick he used to be a cop now she picked up and moved to maui like she’s just

(36:09) cool and i feel like she’s me when i turn 50. she did the same thing she was a cop and saw a kid on that was abandoned or something so she was allowed to take the kid in as foster and then adopted him later and she’s like my advice to you honestly is don’t do it she’s like no matter what i did nothing was good enough i mean this kid had everything private school everything and i was always you’re not my mom no matter how old he was and now everything that she was saying i was just like falling

(36:35) in love with until she said that i was like [ __ ] like that sucks and i’m like if if i have a good support system i did the best that i could like that’s all i can walk away from is i did the best that i could and you still saved them from a worse off situation 100 and you could sit there my own kid could do that to me like oh yeah piece of [ __ ] it doesn’t matter but at least they’re clothed they’re not being abused nobody’s making them feel like a piece of [ __ ] so if i can at least offer

(36:58) that to one hopefully more kids then i did something and i’m glad that i did that in a way though don’t all children whether you have biological parents or not you resent your parents for some things that they’ve done like everyone has some sort of issues with some way they were raised so i don’t think you’re gonna win that battle with anybody it’s just a matter of them growing out of it and then getting past it and you know we have tools just teach them the tools and then as soon as they turn 18 just

(37:27) pray for the best exactly because you’re not going to be 42 in my basement i’m sorry 18. i did i did my my job you’re good to go how was your childhood speaking of childhoods and did it shape your desire to adopt at all i grew up um so i’m the eldest of five siblings um we grew up we were in i believe it was the 94 earthquake the one that happened in northridge it was 93.

(37:53) 94 we lost everything like everything and my my biological father i don’t talk to i haven’t talked to him since i don’t even know how long um and what’s funny is he lives like literally right down the street but my stepdad came into my life when i was four and he again growing up i was like you’re not my dad my dad’s gonna come pick me up blah blah up until i think i was like 12 13.

(38:16) then i had some rough patches with my mom and my stepdad really like he he showed me no matter how bratty me and my siblings could be to him because three of us weren’t his they were my dad he was still there and he still worked two jobs every single day tried to fight for full custody when him and my mom separated like this man is an angel and i feel so bad that a beautiful asian woman hasn’t come to take care of him because i feel like that’s what he needs in his life if i could set him up i would but i think growing up with my siblings that

(38:45) made me want siblings for kyler because i love like i call them up anytime any day and we just spit movie quotes it’s like back and forth and no matter if we’re mad at each other if i have a good movie quote and i feel like i’m going to stump you i’m going to call you so it’s like this one weird people siblings have their own weird [ __ ] for sure but i love that i grew up and i had them when my parents weren’t around my stepdad worked two jobs my mom was out and then i haven’t you know i

(39:08) didn’t see my my biological dad so that’s kind of all we had yeah tyler right now has only child syndrome like i feel like he likes being an only child but only because he doesn’t know any better so i think that’s the main thing is i want to do it for him too because he doesn’t have that kind of like camaraderie whether it’s male or female i think siblings do shape you and and how you learn to interact with the rest of of the world and sharing and what not too right like my husband’s an only

(39:35) child i’m like he’s selfish yeah i know i was gonna say i have dated people with that syndrome give him a sibling please you know you know what’s weird is i feel like with all of these books coming out and you know and and the school that kyler goes to they don’t call their teachers by like mr mrs last name it’s their first name and to me i was like yeah so it’s tyler teachers karen and i’m like no that’s miscarried he goes no we say karen i’m like no no no we say miss karen so

(40:01) with that they’re teaching them all these new things of like independence which i’m all for but at the same time i feel that the sharing and all of that is something that you do have to learn but in i was talking to somebody today with foster kids they teach them not to share because there are things that have gone on in their past that makes them want something so if they have to give something up then that means it’s just like whatever it is small a piece of gum like a toy it’s not a sense of safety

(40:33) and security so that’s something a whole other you know way that we have to think if you can these foster kids i raise kyler to share everything and now how am i going to explain that to my child and understand the needs of this child so there’s no there’s no real book you know for parenting you do the best that you can but i don’t think that your belief should change so much to where you’re you’re pulling your own hair out you’re like oh my god like i feel like because if you’re if your glass isn’t

(41:00) apple you can’t what’s a what is it saying like if you if you aren’t you can’t you can’t pour out what’s not inside basically right that’s fine it’s been a long [ __ ] day today but no that’s that’s good um so you weren’t you weren’t close with your biological parents then no and i tried to reconnect with my dad for kyler’s sake and again like kyler i remember yeah for kyler i wanted to but my dad said some weird [ __ ] i know and i was like i’m gone like i can’t i can’t deal with

(41:31) this but even like with my mom my mom has all these grandkids and it’s not the way that i would be when i have my grandkids i’m going to be annoying like i’m going to be there all the time but because you want what you don’t have i feel that my child always knows that no matter what i don’t care how stupid it is like i’m gonna be there no matter what so with my stepdad i talk to him all the time he hates it i put him on snapchat or on instagram but it’s like i’m so proud i’m so proud to have

(42:00) him in my life he thinks i’m making fun of him i’m like no you don’t understand like you’re just funny by nature i’m gonna get that because that’s great content but at the same time like i’m so thankful that you’re in my life and i’m hoping some girl that’s following me will set her mom up like with my dad i’m just hoping that’s what i want that’s cute is there something that you wish that you were told as a child like in the midst of all that i think as a kid

(42:26) have you guys both seen drop dead fred yeah when i was a kid yeah okay the part where she goes back phoebe cates go goes back in time and sees her little self she takes her out of the bed with like the ripped like duct tape and she like holds her i always cry at that party like a [ __ ] baby because i think that the biggest thing is it is a sense of security and being told that you you don’t need anybody else to validate you that your parents will always be there to do so and so in the movie the mom is just always competing with her

(42:57) and she feels like she’s never good enough and so not so much i would tell myself now but as a child i would say that a lot of people that you care about are going to hurt you later on in life but there are a lot of people that won’t so at least give people a chance because i feel like i was so guarded and thinking everybody was gonna bounce or i wasn’t gonna have um somebody for too long so i always kept people at a distance relationships friendships business you know i always was like oh well no it’s gonna go away

(43:26) or i don’t trust you and i’ve been mean when i meet even men i think i’m always like this weird thing and reading up on it i’m obsessed with with reading as much as i can i think it was it goes back to being a kid where if my own father could just bounce when i was four then any other guy would bounce or female or whatever yeah exactly so i would keep guys at a distance especially and just think that they’re all full of [ __ ] um which makes a lot of sense uh sorry to interrupt you just gonna say it makes a lot of sense

(43:55) to why you would feel so compassionate about foster children who don’t have a safe place like a home where they feel is home you know that word home that safe place where they can rest their head and not be worried it’s not going to be there tomorrow um it’s kind of i guess fits into that that uh parental issue or that abandonment the fear of abandonment deal that a lot of us have going on i know i do well we look to our parents for teaching and we look to our parents for guidance even though we think we’re independent at six

(44:28) years old seven years old they’re the first ones to teach us love we supposed to learn from them so when these kids have nobody even their own parents and i’m i’m somebody that doesn’t play victim like i i own the [ __ ] that i need to and i work on as much as i can but to have my very first childhood memory at four years old being put in the back of my stepdad’s car and i remember his car the interior was red like i remember everything at four years old and being taken from my dad’s house and my mom

(44:56) puts me in the back seat with my little brother who was i think like one at the time and she like turns back to me i’ve never met this man in my life she turns back to me she goes this is your new dad call him dad now that’s my first memory and there was no like soft introduction it was me being pulled from my dad’s house being put in a car with a man that i had never met and this is your dad now that’s not like that’s not healthy so if that’s happening these kids all the time where it’s like you’re being pulled and

(45:22) ripped from whatever family they know to be put in this you basically get processed like a criminal you get sat in like in a room and then people judge you look at you and they write like little notes even if you’re a baby all the way up to 17 18 years old and nobody is explaining anything it’s like the the [ __ ] reading down like the bullet points that’s it nobody’s being compassionate nobody’s caring about what you’re going through what you feel because it’s it’s just another number to

(45:47) them so i was even looking into being the intermediate home which is basically when a child is going to get called from um being pulled away for like abuse or whatever the case is they would call somebody to meet them there and be kind of like the person that’s like the the guidance like that to basically make him feel safer or feel less scared and i would be totally down for that even if i had to do it in the middle of the night like keep my phone on you know as much as you want to call me i’ll be there because i

(46:15) couldn’t imagine being a kid now being taken like that yeah and i can totally see the connection from that to you know foster and what they go through um that situation with you in the car and you know you think like man why did i go through this like this sucks this is such a dark thing but then you think it gave you such a big heart for people and all the people that you are likely gonna change for the better a lot of women that are interested in it they ask me they’re like what are the chances of the

(46:46) baby being because when you foster it’s not a guarantee the baby’s gonna be with you for life or the kid whatever they could go right back to their parents or next up can the biggest thing is um they try to put you with grandparents or aunts uncles somebody that’s next to kim sometimes the grandparents don’t want that sometimes the aunts and uncles don’t want that so if you are the next best case scenario you have the baby for a short amount of time the parents can come back at any time and of course

(47:10) their first priority would be parents and then next of kin and moms ask me they’re like oh my god that must be so hard like i wouldn’t be able to do that for me i think i’m the best person to understand that because there is no there’s books on parenting but you have [ __ ] that goes on in your life and it’s just maybe you need to get help maybe it’s a wake-up call whatever it is i know what it’s like to be a mom and i would hope that that would help the parent get their [ __ ] together and do

(47:38) what they need to do for the fear of having their child taken away so if if i need to be the middle person until the parent gets on their feet i’m okay to do so if i’m the person that’s supposed to take care of their kid because it’s better with me i’m gonna do so as well so i think that that’s why the light bulb went off like wow i think i was meant to do this because in every aspect i understand i’m compassionate i i’m okay with everything i’m gonna be sad but i’m definitely

(48:04) accepting of either outcome yeah in those circumstances do when you’re fostering a child does the biological parents have access to you like are you able to well you’re supposed to go through the social worker and they set up everything but if you go through an agency the agency’s the person that you deal with so you’re assigned again to like a social worker so there’s a lot of middlemen but you’re supposed to have a second phone line this is what they told me so the parents could contact you if they can’t get a hold of

(48:34) the social worker and that’s another thing that the woman was telling me she goes um the person i met she said that the biological parents were crazy and would like call her up non-stop and just say like i need to see my kid and that’s when the social worker will get involved and say you’re done having contact but i think also too that the woman couldn’t get a hold of the social worker and so she was going crazy again being a mom you don’t know there’s parents that have cops called on them all the time that

(49:01) aren’t abusive and then there’s parents that don’t have crops called on them or when they do they don’t do anything and then their kids are they wind up dead because you know the cops didn’t do anything i just it’s such a [ __ ] system and i’m only one person but enough hopefully enough noise will be made to where i get more people that will speak up and i can use at least my audience to maybe make some some things i think that’s it that’s a huge point too that you brought up earlier um about

(49:27) your following being something that they should take into consideration like as an important factor why you are valuable in this uh fostering situation like the fact that you’re speaking you’re you’re putting a voice behind this issue that’s a you have a platform yeah a huge huge issue that people need to know about and certainly don’t know about um well crazy though i think that a lot of people too are um i don’t know how but they’re not really keen on social media i feel like a lot of those people don’t

(50:00) really care and and they should but nowadays i feel like everybody’s trying to hire like a pr person or a media person to handle social media another thing too when you have a foster kid and you haven’t adopted them yet you can’t post any pictures of that kid you can’t do any of that so for me that was another thing that i was worried about is how is this child going to be a part of my life but my life is very you know in your face when it comes to social media that’s my job that’s what i do so there was a woman that i

(50:28) found who takes in foster babies and she basically puts little what are they like little stickers emojis yeah yeah over their face so she could still share her life yeah and i thought that that was so interesting because i didn’t know how i was going to do this how am i going to take care of baby all day and people are like where have you been you’ve been m.i.

(50:45) a for like five days it’s like no i have this whole new part of my life that i would hope that i could share but to keep the families you know privacy under wraps a little bit so that’s something to do as well is that you could hide it but still show that it is part of your life a way that you can live yeah i have a lot of friends that i have come to mind that i want to connect you to that have had the same same things that you’re bringing up as hurdles so i’m one person right now but if anybody’s been through it it would be

(51:14) nice just to at least found some ideas um what age were you when you realized that you were interested in women as well for women hard segue yeah yeah yeah we’re gonna jump to that yes i will i will connect you with foster uh people so you’re bisexual how did that happen no no no it’s okay um well because my my last partner was a female who lived with me and my son was super close to um i’ve been attracted to men and women 12 13 ever since i was a i was a kid and i didn’t feel weird about it my parents

(51:51) never made me feel weird i’d never seen anybody that was gay or bisexual like my that wasn’t my family and a lot of people give me [ __ ] um not a lot of people some that are like oh my god if you’re gay in front of your son he’s gonna turn out gay i’m like because i had so many straight you know experiences being raised i never once saw um anything happen like that and i still turned out the way that i did so nobody i didn’t really date a girl girl like until people kiss and you know it’s like

(52:21) cutesy or girls are by when they’re drunk they’re not bi um i think my first real relationship was a female with a female was probably 18 i think i was 18 when i had somebody that i would consider an emotional connection with them not just fooling around and that was and you had already had a boyfriend or boyfriend before that yeah i think my first boyfriend i was i don’t know like it was like oh this is my boyfriend you kind of make it known but i mean real boyfriend was like 15 16 yeah i’ve always go sorry guys

(52:55) i’ve always thought that i was like emotionally bi but not physically or sexually that’s right that’s what i say to women unless a vagina sitting on your face turns you on it doesn’t you’re not bisexual right so yeah that does not turn me on but the thing that’s confusing for me is like when someone says like who’s your celebrity crush i’ll be like oh jason mamoa and michael b jordan and ruby rose and ellen degeneres like all this women in there because i am so drawn to them and so

(53:23) attracted to them and like i i have that same feeling towards them that i would have with the men that i enlisted and i have fallen i feel like i was completely in love with a woman who was straight she was a playmate as well but she was straight and so i never told her and um i was like reading our text to a friend one time and he was like i think she’s in love with you too like just tell her and i was like no i like she’s i’ve never seen her have a girlfriend and he was like she’s never seen you

(53:54) have a girlfriend and i didn’t that’s the thing that confuses women and i think that you can tell if if a girl is a lesbian by the way they dress i’m talking about like lesbian yeah um but like somebody like me i get a lot of girls and it pisses me off too i get a lot of girls that will ask me for drinks and i think you know that it’s like oh yeah like let’s go grab drinks and it’s more of the idea of being with a girl and so they’ll flirt with the idea but then if my hopes get up or i have like an emotional

(54:25) attachment and they just want more of like that cuddly best friend i can sleep over and we can snuggle it’s like no that’s cute and all but not when i have other intentions like i feel like i could be invested or i could feel the same way male or female girls start to get that a little confused because like you said you thought that you were in love with her i’ve had guy friends that were my best friends and i was like oh my god like i we would be so great together and we would we would have the best kids but i

(54:52) didn’t feel that like soul mate kind of like i need to be with you i didn’t feel it with her i did feel it with her and i felt the sexual feelings yeah like i did i yeah i fantasized about her like i i was like i really was all in for this girl and i just never told her because i in my head she was completely straight and there were times in conversations that i was like i think she can tell and i think she’s trying to give me the signal as well but neither of us ever acted on it um and now we’re both smart and you don’t

(55:22) know yeah so you never know if you’re listening just kidding no girls don’t know girl when you dress super femme unless you’re at every gay bar even when i do go to gay bars guys think that i’m guys and girls think that i’m there with like my gay friend like my gay guy friend so unless you really put it out there women that look like us will be considered either by when they’re drunk or um straight like it’s it’s always people when they see me holding hands with a girl they they double take like really

(55:53) like people look at me like are you sure or i get um you you must have daddy issues like you no no i actually love my stepdad everything was great or adventurers haven’t met you haven’t met the right guy or you haven’t you haven’t had a good dick i get that all the time you just haven’t it’s like i’ve had all the time because i don’t want it like maybe i think a lot of people sometimes think that like maybe a an older female um like did something wrong with you as a kid and then you got confused

(56:24) uh your childhood it’s like no well well i what about all of the people that are gay that were raised in a great home nothing happened just i i don’t have an explanation for why i am the way that i am and i’ve gotten into conversations with my ex-girlfriend about this because she for sure was like i am gay i’ve been gay ever since you know i could remember blah blah blah and she dresses more masculine and people can tell that she’s gay and me and her sit down we have amazing conversations because

(56:52) i’ve kind of not shifted her way to thinking that she’s bisexual but it’s more of falling in love with the person being attracted to the person you can have a good looking guy walk by and me and her could be like oh he’s really good looking but her body parts don’t like picture in that and i’m like but because your mind’s already telling you that you’re gay you know you’re gay this is the way that it’s supposed to be you have to have a label i feel like people aren’t letting themselves really feel

(57:15) that they could confusing exactly the label makes it taboo yeah and it’s confusing for women because we’re so confusing and it’s for me sometimes i feel like a man cannot understand me like only a woman can understand me like i should just be gay or like oh like you know men women say it all the time yeah but then i also but again i don’t feel like i’m bi like i that it’s confusing for me i guess i feel emotionally i think it’s uh like i i’ve only found myself intimately attracted to men but

(57:52) i’m certainly in love with a lot of my girlfriends i have been over long periods i mean i have girlfriends that i’ve had since kindergarten and whatnot and even on this podcast like jade and i uh you’re one of the loves of my life jade um no but no but seriously i mean you make these connections in life and you fall in love with the people and you get to you get to have multiple partners essentially in that regard and yeah there’s a difference between who you’re going to like live with and spend

(58:22) time with and support each other on you know who you’re gonna sleep next to every night and all the little little usually annoying things that you have to deal with in those situations come along with it you choose that person as well but i don’t see why it’s so wildly crazy to people when they’re against uh any kind of bisexuality or gayness um it’s love at the end of the day right i mean i think that they must have they must have wanted to experiment but because of religion or the um homophobia in their

(58:55) home or something maybe they like you know pushed it so far down that now it’s like their only way to deal with that maybe going yeah it’s like deep down they had that urge and that was their only way to control it but the sad thing is women that are in their 30s that are like i always thought that i was but i never was sure and i never acted and you have this thought well no but that’s what that’s why i’m such an advocate for being open with how i am and a lot of people send me so many questions and for me

(59:27) it’s kind of like it’s a no-brainer to talk to them because they start off with um i’m so sorry this is probably too personal i’m like you follow me you know like yeah it’s okay but they’re so worried about me judging or they’re so worried about it sounding stupid and if if anything you take away from following me it’s i don’t judge anybody like i’ve i have some people in their uh professions that they do if they are females that i don’t agree with and i have a very strong stance with

(59:56) that but any questions or life experiences and anything coming from a genuine place i’m not somebody to judge in fact i love people that can change my mind about things and make me really think and that’s one thing that i live with truth yes but without all of the the alcohol and that’s my ex-girlfriend and we’ll talk so much about stuff that is just not the norm and people wouldn’t talk about and we really start to get going and i’ll write like little notes like oh i want to bring this up and people are

(1:00:24) like no that’s that’s weird and one of the things was if you weren’t so sure that you were straight or or gay would you be able to fall in love or would you be able to have take it to sec intercourse if you could forget that that person was not your orientation that you like to have sex with if you were stimulated in a way would you be able to have an orgasm and my thing is yes i think you could i think if somebody was good sexually either way you would be able to still experience that if you weren’t if your brain wasn’t

(1:00:55) turned on like you know you just let yourself like dozen of those were with a girl when when i was young so i think maybe that’s where some of my confusion um like sexual experiences like getting pleasure from someone else was with another with a female so i think that’s another reason why you give us details yeah i was gonna say i’m like wait wait so you’ve only been in love one time with a female family that’s sexual encounters with like all of my first kisses and first makeout sessions

(1:01:24) probably like the first six of them were with girls um and to us it was just having fun um but it to me like it felt just as good as the for the other first six that were with guys after that you know so maybe that is where some of the confusion comes from as well but i can only again i know that there’s no tmi with you guys and i wouldn’t i wouldn’t mind that i know no babies are listening at home i’ve had more orgasms with females well yeah but no no but a lot of females too i think okay question i’m gonna ask you guys

(1:02:00) when you see a naked man walking by and he has he’s excited okay does that turn you on do you think like my own nudity is hilarious okay okay so it doesn’t it doesn’t get your lady parts talking well that’s why i’m like why why ever send a woman a photo of you like a dick pic yeah like girlfriends that oh no i have girlfriends that love dicks what like they’re i’m not saying that i think like ew that’s gross but i’m like it’s humorous to me it’s funny i i looked at a guy walking by beautiful as

(1:02:35) they are and i’ve dated some beautiful men and women i’ve never seen a dick or honestly a vagina as well where i’m just like um i want to take care of that everything up here has to be no so once i started really maturing the people the partners that i started to choose in my life and i’ve been very vocal as well on people that i’ve dated which has caused a lot of issues um being so open but i started to become more picky because you could have the most perfect beautiful person physically but if

(1:03:13) there’s just like this back and forth um spiritually mentally um your morals everything that is just gonna fizzle out so fast and that that’s energy drained that you could have put into a way bigger connection male or female with either relationships friend friendships relationships all that energy is being drained i think because people are trying to have this perfect boyfriend perfect girlfriend perfect it’s like no like you get one shot at this whatever your beliefs are after you pass away all i know is i’m here right

(1:03:42) now i have a son his happiness matters but also mine too i can’t i can’t live short term because i think i should be with this person i want somebody i don’t care what you do for work i don’t care if you want kids or not want kids but if you can make me laugh if we can sit there and talk like for hours about [ __ ] that nobody wants to talk about i’m already interested in you you already seem sexually attractive to me because there’s a saying like you have to like you have to sleep with my

(1:04:08) mind before you sleep with my body and that my body parts will react to a good conversation male or female i love that and i i don’t know if we’re going to go on and on and on about this and maybe we can edit this down later but uh i just wanted to say that you know i always pictured my love life ending up in this this fairy tale met my soul mate experience and it actually did which gave me the freedom strangely to realize that i could i that i have millions of soul mates out there it’s just a matter of

(1:04:44) making the connections with them so it’s a weird kind of paradox that they’re all over the place like there isn’t this fairy tale so to speak the way that we’ve seen it in disney movies and whatnot it’s more that you’re creating those connections so being vulnerable and being open and being open to love what across all genders um and and also like you’re saying jessa across all creeds all you know cultural ways that people want to experience life and live their life being open to hearing and understanding what that

(1:05:18) means for them being able to have those conversations being able to come up against that that cognitive dissonance and absorb something new and have that liquid truth like jade is talking about which by the way liquid truth is this saying that we came up with on this podcast essentially that just means a growing evolving and that’s why people are like oh you are honest when you drink that’s yeah i thought it was called liquidation it all works yeah it does we got you um but yeah in any case i feel like

(1:05:59) they’re we’re all connected in one way or another so it’s just a matter of finding how you know and just a matter of figuring out how deep you can go with the connection how deep the other person is willing to go if you’re super open and vulnerable and like you’re saying there’s probably times you match up with a person but they’re only willing to go so deep and so you have to end it it fizzles out yeah well i think for me as well i have this belief and a lot of people don’t agree with me and

(1:06:25) that’s fine um i’m okay with my relationships being chapters in a book i’m okay with that i never grew up thinking that there was one person for me out of all of these people that i would end up with and i would just be you know just done and i would have this you know beautiful you know white picket fence house blah blah because honestly i was a hard worker ever since i could remember so my idea of what a woman and a wife should be in a relationship was already kind of out of the norm but i every single person i was with

(1:06:56) they were good people like every single person we just might not have connected after a certain amount of time so i call each relationship a chapter in my book where it starts to get a little weird is when you have kids or if you want more kids and that’s where the whole angelina jolie thing came in and i was like you know i could do it on my own if need be and if i want to do i want somebody to come in and sweep me off my feet and change my mind about you know being with one person for the rest of my life sure that would be great

(1:07:20) but i’m also okay with cherishing and spending time with that one person and giving it a hundred percent and if it works great and if it doesn’t you were an awesome chapter in my book that i learned from and i’m only going to take the good and the bad into my next relationship and just you know apply it to that yeah and a lot of women are like oh my god like that’s that’s awful that so many you know that so many men or women it’s like no but that’s my happiness i’m not going to stay with

(1:07:45) somebody because i should be with one person for the rest of my life or i need to get married because i’ve hit 30 or i want more kids nobody else is going to tell me how to live my life and there are like-minded people out there people are just scared to talk about it yeah that thought didn’t scare me before i had kids i think that after i had kids it did sound scary what just um it being like a lot of different chapters like there’s something i feel like maybe it’s because of my upbringing but like with my kids i feel like now i just

(1:08:20) want to like just give them and i’m not saying you are not going to be able to do this for kylie but like i just want to be able to give them something where they know this is what the future looks like you know like this is who i like like with my mom she like dated so much and so i felt like that kind of gave me some trust issues and i’m not i know you’re not i’m not comparing you to my mom whatsoever but i think that she was so extreme in that that for me i’m like the thought of that makes it like makes me

(1:08:53) scared you know no and and for each mom too it’s also how you raise your kids where you live there’s a lot of factors in it and like i said i raised kyler very differently um he’s not like a normal child and he’s already such an old soul that if he were any different and more sensitive in that way or if there was things that i needed to worry about then yeah my happiness would come second because his structure and how i raise him would take priority and 100 i get that but because i’m so honest and

(1:09:21) and i’m not the mom to ever say don’t do this because i said so or do as i say not as i do we sit down and we talk about everything even if i’m mad at him and i want to just punch a wall because he’s really on my nerves he’ll sit down and we will have a conversation like he is a peer and he’ll know where i’m coming from i don’t know where he’s coming from so when it comes to relationships he never looks at somebody that i introduced him to as somebody coming or going because each person that

(1:09:44) i’ve parted with has been on good terms because i’ve been so open and he understands that just like i tell him like if you find one person you’re gonna treat her right you’re gonna hold the door open or him whatever you want and he knows that i’m always here to give him advice i will be his guidance his life when he gets older is gonna be different than mine he’ll be different as a partner and it won’t take him as long to trust male or female as it did for me i didn’t have that kind

(1:10:09) of guidance growing up where if i had a question i could just go ask my parents it wasn’t like that so i had to learn the hard way and the older that i get the more choosy i am with my time so the more partners start to like dwindle down and not a lot of them meet him takes a while for me to introduce somebody to kyler so while i think that i have chapters in my book he doesn’t really meet that many and i don’t i’m not a hoe like i definitely i don’t want people getting more from me than i get from them it has to be an

(1:10:35) equal partnership um but the older i get it’s definitely this shop has been closed for business for a minute until until everything here is good especially bringing a new baby in how do you explain that dating-wise you know hey i like you but i have a foster baby and guess what i want to have like a few more you have to meet the right kind of person to even be okay with that and i’m okay with that conversation if that person ever comes you know into my life so how do you compare i guess what are besides besides

(1:11:04) the obvious physical differences what would you say is different between dating a man versus dating a woman honestly emotionally they’re the same like really i’ve had some i’ve had some crazy dudes like they they have more tendencies than women i’ve also had have women treat me more like a princess than a man would it it’s so weird how it could be completely opposite or it could be completely the same you all you have the same issues you know you have jealousy issues you have you know somebody that’s going to be more

(1:11:37) sensitive versus somebody that’s going to be more you know aggressive i’m technically i am an aggressive person i’m usually the man in the relationship in my head at least male or female because i’m so dominant um but i’m a good provider as well when it comes to because i have kyler i know what it’s like to be compassionate and sensitive so me even meeting somebody that can tolerate how dominant i am is still hard in general most of the girls that i date are i’ve dated a few girls that were femme

(1:12:06) but a lot of the girls that i’m attracted to have a dominant masculine side so that’s kind of like this too same with a man you know i do battle a lot with them feeling less thin or feeling emasculated a little bit and all it is is each person that you date male or female it’s just it’s give and take and it’s just you have to be able to to have good conversations with them and then have them understand where you’re coming from that’s all it is and you say that tyler’s an old soul how

(1:12:33) did how do you explain to him when it’s a woman does he how did you have that first conversation with him i don’t think well so my my ex-husband’s twin brother is gay and he just got he recently was married and i think kyler was actually in the wedding um in new york so he grew up with his uncle being gay and i always taught him like he was going to the um pride parade ever since he was three or four not because of my not because of my preferences but i just wanted him to know what world we live in and people have

(1:13:04) different choices people are attracted to different things so i wanted him to focus more on the person than on the um on the uh gender so he’s been very open-minded ever since he was little because he’s seen in our industry too like there’s a lot of makeup artists hair people that are gay you know he sees it he’s never once been weirded out very close to my ex-girlfriend like very close with her and some of the girls that i have dated he’s it’s it’s so weird that’s what i’m

(1:13:31) saying i do i can’t give advice because he’s just so good in that area that i don’t i haven’t had any problems with that i think maybe as he gets older if i choose to be with a woman maybe junior high in high school will be weird with friends but i already have to deal with that because of playboy like he’s already starting to figure [ __ ] out now so it’s again it’s just really sitting them down and saying this is my life this is what i chose you know you’re gonna have [ __ ] that you

(1:13:56) have and i’m gonna be there for you regardless um it’s just honesty that’s all you can do because when if when you lie to your kids they’re going to find out right yeah i mean my dad hid some [ __ ] and i’m like i already know you don’t have to lie dad like it’s yeah yeah so no that’s that’s definitely he hasn’t had that issue yet um and we do school events me and my um microscope when we went to a bunch of school events and people knew teachers knew yeah and he came home and he goes

(1:14:19) mom what’s a lesbian so we have that talk because he doesn’t know words he doesn’t know labels all he knows is people like who they like yeah and so we talked about it but that was the only thing i ever had to explain to him cool does and he hasn’t had any but any i guess any run into anyone with an opinion like at school or whatnot no i think i think that he has a few kids that have same-sex uh parents at that school um and i believe that one of the teachers also does as well so i don’t think it’s

(1:14:50) so foreign and we’re so lucky to live in los angeles that a lot of people it’s it’s we could have a guy that’s in his 60s have an 18 year old girl you know and married and that’s normal and that’s okay but then we are weird about you know same sex so i think that we’re just so lucky to live here because it isn’t abnormal yeah i don’t know what to base it on anywhere else but i’m pretty sure people have a hard time same-sex marriages for sure yeah so you mentioned um playboy so i just wanted to ask

(1:15:23) what what originally got you to decide to do playboy and is it something you would do again uh no i wouldn’t do it again just because where i’m headed right now especially trying to get into the um becoming a foster parent and becoming more involved as a parent socially um over social media and blogging it doesn’t make sense right now but when i was growing up um i didn’t really have confidence i was very shy my parents say that i was outspoken i don’t remember that i remember having no real girlfriends i was made

(1:15:57) fun of because i was poor i was made fun of because i was sick skinny i had a lot of insecurities and i didn’t have the support at home to make me feel like i could just be myself so i think all through my 20s i was always searching for validation from females i was always searching you know from men not sexually but kind of do i look pretty enough you know is my is my weight okay like there was always something that i was worried about just because i remember it from from grade school and when i had somebody from playboy

(1:16:25) approach me i kind of laughed like i’m divorced with a kid and i’m 27 like i’m i’m old i’m like no like we want you to come and test and i was like you know what i’m gonna do this for myself i’m gonna try it you know just to see i’ve never felt more proud of my body more proud of being a mom and being asked to do that i’ve never felt i guess it made me super aware of the power that i possessed for myself because a lot of people say like oh playboy it’s for men it’s like no no

(1:16:58) no like you don’t even know how playboy originated you don’t know the power that it gave women um and in the era that it was it was in it was huge so for me to be a part of something that iconic it wasn’t for any man i didn’t do it i didn’t care if men liked me or not i did it for me and from that i met a lot of great people i had friends like girls that actually knew you know each other by first name phone number like we called each other we had that support kind of like a sorority i never had that i was homeschooled

(1:17:24) through high school i didn’t have any friends in high school so that gave me friends in that aspect and also after i did playboy i felt like i was on top of the world like i i watched my weight in a healthy way because right before playboy people telling me i need to drop you know eight ten pounds and i was anorexic at the time right before i did playboy i was so scared of a certain weight and i would just pinch skin and think that i was fat so after doing playboy i felt like no like every woman’s body is different i saw women of

(1:17:55) all shapes sizes colors everything and they were gorgeous like all the curvy women i even were like oh my god i want her body so once you’re confident in your own skin nobody can tell you anything differently and and that gave me a voice that i’m able to use now and to inspire women to tell women i don’t think that playboy’s derogatory like i said i didn’t do it for any man i’m proud that i did it my son he’s he knows that i did it and when he gets older that’s something that i’ll have to talk about

(1:18:23) to the extent of what i’m comfortable with talking about um but no he he knows that nudity is just it’s nudity and it’s how you take it and if you want to be a perv about it that’s your own judgment but if you have he has i have my girlfriends here all the time and we change and he’s so respectful we don’t ever meet my family if we’re changing and he walks in it’s never we never make it shameful we never say like oh my god this is my he knows nobody’s allowed to touch you he knows

(1:18:48) that you should be private you know about everything but at the same time we never want to make your body uncomfortable whether it’s weight whether it’s your genitals whatever i just want you to grow in a home that’s loving that’s not dirty and i think it’s shameful yeah i feel like we put shame around our private parts we really do no we really do and you look at like the national geographic and you look at all of these magazines even even vogue where it’s it’s not sexualized you know girls you

(1:19:18) know nipples are showing it’s like oh like that’s art or that’s just it’s more of um what the breasts are used for and tyler knows like breasts are used for breastfeeding he doesn’t look at it in a sexual way and i’m so thankful for that because he’s not going to be raised to be a creep i would beat that ass he knows better he’s a good boy and he knows that women are much more than what their bodies look like and he will respect that about women as well it is weird that um nudity is

(1:19:46) it’s it’s so weird like the stigma we have around it um here in the states and i remember in bris um was it i was in um barcelona and i went to a nude beach it was like people were literally playing volleyball nude like things were bouncing you know that’s i mean nobody was nobody was gawking ever it was as if they had bathing suits on nobody was looking at anybody and it it was so comfortable to me and um yeah i it’s i feel like my experience was different with playboy though a little bit like there were some

(1:20:25) um well first of all i took it out of spite um when i they had approached me a couple times before i said yes but when i finally did say yes i remember um doing it out of spite to the church group that i used to be in like i wanted to because i knew that they thought i was on the pathway of sin and i’ll be like i was kind of like i’ll show you the pathway of sin [Laughter] uh but i will say that my first um like shoot in the playboy studio i felt more confidence in my body than i had ever felt there is a um a way that they um

(1:21:03) i guess um not worship your body but uh what is it like um how they view it just the way that they um like at like art i guess they were it is yeah that’s how they make you there were other photographers that i shot with here in texas actually because there’s a studio in houston that there were like poses i wasn’t comfortable with and they would say like oh no i’m gonna crop it or no there’s a shadow there and then the photos would come out and i’d be like holy hell like and they’re not playing so my hand

(1:21:33) was there yeah yeah but yeah um yeah so that was really that my experiences were a little bit different there but um and then um you know i did meet a lot of really close girlfriends at the mansion um so that i did growing to 18 different schools growing up i never had um you know similar to your story um where i didn’t have like that sorority feeling and i feel like i did get that but when i stayed at the mansion it was almost like ghost town because you know people would be there thursday through sunday night

(1:22:02) and then yeah monday through wednesday it was empty and i would feel so spooked and it just had like this creepy feel for some reason in my room all the girls think that it’s a big party every single night it’s like no everybody’s in bed by like eight you’re walking around i was friends with the staff like yeah i was just talking rolling silverware with them i’m like this is i mean i would sit in the kitchen and watch comedy with them while we ate chocolate cake and that’s fine for me because you

(1:22:25) know what’s weird is these girls and i saw some of these girls it’s so funny to me these girls come in with their [ __ ] louis vuitton suitcases and backpacks and they’re just better than and they’re flipping their hair and they’re just treating the staff as if they don’t matter and then two seconds later they’re moving back you know home with their parents because they didn’t make it in la it’s like well maybe you were just a piece of [ __ ] and not a good person thinking that you were

(1:22:48) better than people and you forget that every single person is going through something every single person deserves to be here and and that’s a thing with aging too kyler knows like we don’t put ourselves around any negative energy i don’t care who you are my dad raised me that if you’re not nice to the waiter but you’re nice to me that you’re not a nice person and that’s how i treat kyler i don’t care who you are what you could do for somebody that’s that’s not something that i will

(1:23:12) tolerate or allow in our space and la is the worst place to live if that’s you know the way that you think because everybody’s here trying to do something for them they don’t care about giving back they don’t care about reciprocating they care about what what can you do for me and so to raise your children here it’s like you just have to be so on top of that because before you know it they feel entitled for nothing like for nothing and it’s all over the tv and media i mean just yeah idea

(1:23:40) have you ever had like any of your ex-boyfriends degrade you because you did playboy when in conflict that’s a good question like use it against you no i had i had somebody that i dated that um they didn’t they didn’t degrade me but they had an issue with men approaching me like they were more worried about me being hurt or or because i would have like some fans would send like they got my home address and they would send me [ __ ] to my door so i think they were more scared of that aspect of it of me being harmed and

(1:24:15) possibly kyler but no nobody’s ever made me feel bad about it but i’m again like you know me like i don’t talk even if even if somebody tried to they would be gone like you’re not going to make me feel like anything that i chose was not but that’s i mean just because you bring up the point of it can be scary being in the public eye like with any in any direction whether it’s nude modeling or not yeah yeah it could happen anyway yeah well i used to get notes under my hotel door in the bellator hotels they

(1:24:45) would find out what room i was in somehow and i’d have like eight notes under my door and it was like it’s so weird like the personal space is so important i think too a lot of people think that you’re just not reachable and no matter what i did as far as like the sign or the signings and the meetups like i love meeting people i don’t care who you are if you come up to me you’re like hey can i get a picture like i always will um unless i’m in a bad mood and i don’t want to be mean to you but i because i

(1:25:13) understand what it’s like to meet somebody that you would like to meet but when somebody crosses that line to where you feel a little threatened or scared that’s where it’s like i didn’t choose to do this to feel this way like this you should know as a human being that any woman or a man would feel a little bit uh a little bit terrified if you’re showing up at a bedroom door hotel door you didn’t list or that you didn’t say hey it’s okay that’s just that’s the one thing we have to worry

(1:25:39) about especially with having kids it’s like what happens if they’re trying to get you through your kid i’ll go to jail i think also sometimes um they don’t view you as human um like not not boyfriends but just people like i remember going on a date with this one guy and finding out that he was um engaged and i was like what what are you doing and he was like well i didn’t think this was gonna go anywhere you’re jade bryce like you’re not gonna date me i was just and i was like what is

(1:26:08) yeah but i was like i was excited about you like i had i had a few a few guys like that um and i just i laugh like i’m like are you you’re just a shitty human being like i didn’t even feel like my time was wasted i felt so bad for the woman um but also they look at you like um you’re like this doll in like a glass case to where they can’t reach you so they do weird stuff like the dm’s that we get or they do these weird things get any kind of attention i love how you put them on blastbox well i have no problem

(1:26:37) especially today this was my favorite what today’s was my favorite with the man jumping oh right into my vagina yeah um how are we raising our men to to court or woo women by i was walking today at one of the foster meetings that i had today i was walking and the amount of people that were like whistling or like catcalling and i’m like this is real life still like you see the movies and stuff what do they think we’re gonna do like never right there be like oh can i give you my number run like that never

(1:27:09) ever ever will a woman say never never will that work hey how did you never will it walking down sunset and he screamed hey baby you have a fat ass and i was like this is the man of my dreams yeah never ever will that happen no they won’t get anything like oh no you change your face being like that’s that’s not the reaction a man wants when he wants your attention so that’s so funny to see but you know it’s you know it’s the double-edged sword is or double standard girls can be like ow

(1:27:39) to a guy and guys are like oh my god so invicta has a male he has they have a ring boy and a ring girl when i walk around it’s like you know how it normally is when he walks around they go crazy and not only is it because i think women are like they get a little bit more raunchier with it but also i think the men in there when their wife’s if they were to hoot and holler the wife would be like what are you doing but the men if their wife’s food and holler they’re just like she’s drunk well also i think

(1:28:08) she feels like finally i get a [ __ ] chance to do this where you’ve been doing this your whole life and therefore yeah it’s really funny it’s just good when you have a girl and a guy that does it to both you know you have a good looking guy like yes bro and then you’re like screaming and there’s a hot girl you’re like yes girl and then you’re like it’s again it’s the sense of like your ego being you know bruised or crushed and anybody just everybody wants to be acknowledged everybody wants to be

(1:28:35) treated equal so when you have this like wife that’s just always you know judging and like why are you looking at her it’s so much energy it’s just like are you serious but when a guy walks by you can sit there and be like oh yes like come on get over yourself i’ve never understood that where like women start to flip out yes but you’re a beautiful woman so i think it’s hard to you’re confident and yeah it’s hard to see from the eyes of someone who’s probably suffering for whatever other

(1:29:03) reasons and especially in her relationship you know i mean and they see someone like you and they feel bad about themselves you know but also even when i first did playboy and i was anorexic i thought i was hideous like i looked in the mirror and this was my prime supposedly i looked in the mirror and i didn’t like what i saw so no girl every girl was better than me in my eyes so any girl that i saw that you know was remotely attractive was way better than i was so i think that even if girls beautiful most the beautiful women are

(1:29:33) the more more insecure women the ones that are going through their men’s phones the one that that are um not keeping in tune with their with their spirituality and and what’s going on upstairs and in in their ego um [Music] we get consumed with the outside instead of yeah exactly shapes and sizes you have this insecurity and if you can start to detach yourself from that and see all of the good and the beauty you know i i see still today couples holding hands or people getting married and i still think like oh well you know they’re they’re

(1:30:06) married i’m not like there’s still things that i go through that i’m like people could think i’m living the the great life but i’m still envious of the companionship of a married couple where people might look at me like oh you could have anybody you want it’s like well no no i can’t because my goals are very different so i envy the people that found their partner and they’re good like i envy that so i think that every single person’s battling something or envious of something and it’s just

(1:30:31) acknowledging what’s good for you and what what you need to do in your life yeah i think you’re in your prime now i think that like you’re like in all ways like it seems like you’ve grown so much in who you are and and in your like a healthy form of confidence you know yeah yeah but and it’s been like more with each year i think i’ve known you about um seven years now and i noticed like with age it’s it has come more confidence um how do you feel like you developed that in yourself these last couple years

(1:31:03) especially i think it’s from the people really people watching when i first moved to la that’s when i had i think met you i moved from las vegas when i became a playmate um and i thought honestly that i had like 50 friends because when you have a title or when you have something especially in la to offer male or female you know to know you and get you into these parties and do all this everybody wants to be your friend so i came out here thinking that i was just going to have the best time you know and i was

(1:31:32) going to be this great big star and then over time you start to see what people what their intentions are you start to feel like you’re more lonely with a room full of people that don’t flicker or mesh or or their energies are off you’d rather be by yourself so i started becoming where you’re less lonely yeah exactly i like my own company i’d rather hang out with my son or even kids more than some of the adults that i that i have in my life and so over time i really started to kind of back away from a lot of the people that

(1:32:02) i thought were like my best friends good friends i had people that that jade knows that i you know were or i considered best friends and before you know what they’re you know hanging out with my ex-boyfriends you know on planes with them and we literally were crying over this person like she you know i had friends that would tell me you need to leave him he’s piece of [ __ ] and then two seconds later you know they’re hanging out with him because he has parties and i don’t want to be a part of

(1:32:25) that life so once i started becoming more aware of where i live what people do to you what people think um where their priorities were i started maturing in that way to where it’s like no no no i don’t want to be consumed by this because i felt it to be wrong i could have went down that rabbit hole probably married super wealthy or or famous or kept you know acting modeling kept doing that but something was pulling me in the wrong direction it was pulling me the opposite way and if i were to have ignored how i was feeling

(1:32:56) i could have been miserable you know five years from now 10 years from now and created such an ugly lifestyle for me only because i knew that that wasn’t for me so i think if you listen i never knew what gut feeling was i think if you really really start to pay attention to that you’re right no matter how you explain yeah no matter how you can explain your intuition your gut feeling to yourself if you really start to just let yourself just go through the motions i think that you’ll start to feel like

(1:33:21) you can pick out the rest of your life like you can start to put your your your steps and your plans um in place whereas i didn’t know what the hell i was doing when i first moved here yeah i just i just kind of went with everything and i was i was burning myself out i was giving a lot of myself to a lot of people whether it was helping them find their careers helping them get connected and i felt at the end of the day i was empty and not that i need anything back but i feel like it was it was hurting my growth and figuring

(1:33:50) out what i needed to do for my own soul because i was helping so many people and caring so much about everybody else that i just felt so like exhausted i felt sick all the time i felt like i was physically sick and i couldn’t explain it now that i’m older i’m like oh yeah like i could tell if somebody’s drained and i know why so i think i think that once you really start to pay attention to what you’re feeling inside and not saying well i should be doing this i i should go to this red carpet i should

(1:34:13) you know date this guy you’re [ __ ] all over yourself yeah we we live in such a great you know time right now that women’s prime i i did this thing because a lot of girls asked me like what do you do to your face what are you like you know like do you get injections blah blah blah and i just did this whole thing a little montage of women who look better now regardless what they did to their damn face there’s some girls that are 20 years old that look like they’re 40. okay so it’s like you can just

(1:34:41) maintain a little bit but there’s women that look amazing now than they do when they were in their 20s or 30s i saw a picture of cher at 70 and she looked better than 20. yeah and her performance she performed on ellen the other day and she yeah she looked awesome um so then you think that it has a lot to do with who you’re surrounding yourself with 100 and i think too who what you see when you look in the mirror i think that that’s a big thing too because like i said when i was working the most that i had ever worked when i was at the

(1:35:11) the skinniest i’d ever been when i was you know the demand for me to show up places was so high i was so sad and i knew it but i put on a great show like i’m a pretty happy person but something like like i said inside was feeling just off and i was getting physically sick like i was i was not in a good place and these girls look at our social media look at you know our lifestyles and like oh my god to be you or you know i wish that i could trade places like but you don’t know what we’re going through so until

(1:35:40) you really start to look at yourself in the mirror and say like something needs to change or um i’m going to give up you know whatever it is it’s not serving me anymore you’re just going to keep living this vicious cycle you’re going to age yourself no matter what because you’re [ __ ] tired you look haggard you’re exhausted but you’re also going to age any kind of life experience that you really wish you could be a part of like that’s all going to be gone know it so i don’t understand these women that are

(1:36:06) 1920 that are you know getting all the [ __ ] done to them their bodies their faces because it’s really hard to age yourself so early on no matter if it’s face whatever even like experiences and then be able to get your youth back yeah at all like i miss a lot of my youth raising my siblings i can never get that back so these girls are just so quick and even men so quick to to grow up and start you know ceo of this company doing all that that’s great but you have to forget that time is the only thing that

(1:36:35) you can never get back money comes and goes wait fluctuate time is the only thing so when you say what is it like billy madison he goes don’t you ever say that i can’t wait till i go to high school billy goes don’t you ever all these kids are so like they’re so quick to say like no i can’t wait to drive can’t wait to be 18 yeah you can’t wait for bills you can’t wait for that because i was three and he already says he can’t wait till he’s five so he can go to school it’s like

(1:37:01) conditioned in us but yeah i think that unhappiness is really like one of the number one things to age you um but speaking of the group though like i remember a lot of so i used to have a blast going with you to comedy shows um how many shows and that was one of my favorite things to do while i was out there but i always had so much fun with you but something i did notice sometimes in the group was it seemed like um a hunger and some of um the people in the group to like get you to tag them and stuff like they i

(1:37:33) remember one girl um on one of the first few nights i had hung out with you one girl said can you help me get followers yeah all the time and one time i invited um i tried to have a girls night and i invited a bunch of girls like probably i’m not getting like 20 girls and i can’t like at least half of them asked me who else was going to be there because it was almost like i was like it’s not a networking party like hanging out yeah yeah a funny thing too i don’t know if you ever came to any of my game nights at my

(1:38:01) house i did but yeah okay so when i did game nights i i would love to have everybody just leave their phones at the [ __ ] door and just like not not go on like any kind of social media nothing and so it first started off so strong to where people are like all i want to do is meet good people and connect so i was inviting people from like all like different kinds of the woods people have regular jobs photographers models um my family members like it was everybody was different and it started off so strong and i felt such a good connection

(1:38:28) because i love making like not forcing people but hey you know get off your phone talk and people were just becoming friends with everybody that they normally would not have and slowly but surely as i started to become friends with more normal people and enjoying the company of people that actually weren’t so like set on social media and who’s going to be there a lot of those people stopped showing up because of no matter what kind of connection they got from that moment the second that they left it was reminded

(1:38:56) that like oh you know my time is valuable so i should be hanging out with people that are the same caliber what does that mean it’s very l.a yes and that’s that’s so sad all i wanted to do was have people sit down and just hang out for a few hours even if it’s like a movie marathon or if it’s like a game night yeah most people want game nights they don’t want to play games they want to just like they want to come to say that they were there no i’m going to play cards against humanity i’m going to play you know

(1:39:21) twister we’re going to do all that [ __ ] it is a game night the one thing that i will say i miss i miss my game nights the way that they used to be like i really do miss that because being a hermit and really being protective of your energy i think also you do miss that what if yeah what if i would have tried harder and those people would have kept coming maybe they could have you know seen a different side of people and that was always my goal but i still live with that today to where it’s like i have those people i miss in my

(1:39:50) life because i had so much fun with them but they were just they weren’t where i am now yeah they were still chasing that like you said that hunger they were still chasing and there’s nothing i could do no matter how normal or how i tried to make it more of a um girls night it was a girls night if girls were going to be there that they wanted to connect with it’s like yeah it’s not just a california thing um it’s it’s still a battle it’s interesting um you know especially now that people are

(1:40:24) making money back then we weren’t even making money on social media now we are so um and then once you mess with people’s money it starts to get a little ugly and i still get girls that are like that it’s not so much anymore because i kind of i don’t do that like i’m not going to sit there and connect people just because they ask me to if we’re not friends there’s there’s no reason like you’re you’re benefiting but you don’t ask me how my day is going you like you don’t care so

(1:40:48) when when that stopped i started to feel a little sense of relief but still nowadays people come up with um well i have this charity i’m starting hey can you help me they start to guilt you a little bit more you’re like [ __ ] like it’s everybody’s getting so tricky on how they do it or they invite you to an event that sounds good and then you get there and it’s all all the wrong people and you’re like and i’m gonna leave now so yeah you just you just have to be just keep your head on your shoulders

(1:41:14) the way that you’ve always been doing and i think that people will start to get the hint that you’re not going to be taken you know a map and i think that a lot of women especially feel sad like they feel lonely out here in l.a and i think that’s so unfortunate social media really goes into that as well into loneliness because you are seeing everybody act they’re only posting what they’re doing and if you’re not doing anything and you’re at home then you um you know can feel a loneliness and i

(1:41:41) know that you have a massive following i think it’s like 1.1 million uh i think when i was looking at your page um what are your thoughts on the influences both good and bad that social media has on today’s generation i think every single person has a love-hate relationship with social media yeah it’s afforded us so many great experiences and connections a lot of the people that i’ve met that i’ve become good friends with and a lot of my relationships have all been from social media i don’t

(1:42:09) really go out and i’m not really going to go to a club i’m not going to go to a bar um the people i met you on twitter yeah and i met a lot of my relationships i slid into the dms or they slid into mine so i’m grateful for it but what bothers me and i find it so rude and people do this and i think they don’t even know that they’re doing this when you’re at a dinner or a lunch or if you come over to somebody’s house and you’re hanging out to spend time with them and you get on your phone and

(1:42:33) you’re just scrolling through instagram you’re not even making eye contact actually if you’re talking to them i’m like oh i’m sorry like am i am i boring it’s so weird or like i went to a movie the other day with um with a friend and he was going through in the movie going through his instagram just like scrolling i’m like oh my god this is bad it kills me yeah it’s disrespectful all ages well you know like so many people put into that film it’s like their art piece and you’re just and whoever’s behind you

(1:43:05) because that light is right yeah yeah so i mean again i love social media because of the the people that i’ve met the experiences that i’ve got to be a part of um the reach that i have if i want to you know continue with the fostering as far as posting about it if maybe i can impact you know some some other um children’s lives by bringing them you know with their forever home yeah that’s so again like i hate it but then i love it because there’s nothing else that that travels like social media does like you know you

(1:43:33) get one thing out and it goes viral and it changes people’s lives totally yeah that’s true so there are a few questions we like to ask all of our guests and i’ll start off with what advice would you give your 25 year old self 25 um i think that age was around the time that because i was 24 when i had kyler so i think that it would be to be more present as a mom at 25 because that’s when i became a playmate and i was working so much and i can’t get any of that time back and and i missed a lot of that because

(1:44:18) i felt that it was gonna my career was gonna just drop because i saw so many girls come in and out of um modeling and i was older so i’m like this isn’t gonna last forever so i thought to give him a good life i had to just work work work for work and i do love working i am a workaholic but i could have taken way more care of what the priorities should have been and balance it so i wish that i would have been more present in his life and balanced motherhood and everything that i had going through um or what i was

(1:44:45) going through being a playmate yeah that really hits home for me today when i was trying to get ready for the podcast soul had um like his pretend vacuum cleaner between his legs and he was like i don’t he didn’t i don’t know what he was doing he was like doing some sort of dance but it was making so much noise and i was trying to prepare for the podcast i was like so you can do that but can you do it in your room and he goes like i saw his like because he was trying to make sure you do it for you

(1:45:09) yeah yeah and i didn’t realize that until i saw his whole like shoulder yeah but he looked at me and he goes don’t you think i’m funny and it like it broke my heart so i was like okay i’m gonna set this to the side for a moment because he only had like 30 minutes till he went to bed but yeah um it is it is a daily struggle to try to um do all the things that i’m doing in my career and try to build my career and be present with toddlers because they need so much attention so i’m about to find

(1:45:38) that out all over again i’m looking forward to that [ __ ] yeah that’s what i would probably say if i had to choose yeah that’s really great advice um if you could have the next question is if you could have the whole world read one book which would it be the power of now 100 the power of yeah a lot of people were trying to get me to jump on the alchemist i read that book twice i i don’t connect to it at all i like it but it’s not life-changing yeah no no i would say the power of now that really opened my eyes to a lot of

(1:46:10) as far as like my ego and really understanding being present that definitely changed the way that i live my life yeah the power right now is actually the book that kicked me off into my own self-help journey very interesting yeah and the alchemist i read prior to that but you know i think it’s a book because i feel the same way you do about it it’s a it’s a strong book but it’s not something that’s going to change my life i i don’t buy it for people beautiful people swear by it though like oh this

(1:46:35) really i’m like i’ve tried it’s a beautiful story i think yeah i think there may be something to do with it being more of a male aspect like coming from a male perspective and maybe it speaks more to males wanting that sense of of independence and freedom and what the book is this the feminist side of you coming out hopefully because i’m really really working she’s trying to cultivate her feminine energy i’ve decided this this month is my kickoff i’m trying to to cultivate this other side but anyway you

(1:47:08) know how i found out about the power of now is eddie alvarez used to read it before going to fight like that he would read it in the room before he would go fight the cage and so i would see that and that’s one of the ways that i found out about that but um i do love that book but i’ve read a new earth three times have in that i’ve skimmed through that i haven’t really sat down to read it another one that people told me um about and i do like it but it’s not life changing is um you are a badass

(1:47:35) like girls love it oh no i don’t think no i haven’t uh read that one you’d like that one i think really is that um you are a badass i have on audible but i just there’s something about the cover i think that is not i don’t know you know too a lot of things that people tell me like oh to get it on um audible i have to feel the book i have to like i love the pages i tried to do the kindle thing once and i know i hate this [ __ ] like i can’t do it um but people say to driving i tried to really um start to

(1:48:07) when i commute like really like listen to things and for me it’s just not clicking so i think that every book that i read i really sit down i try to give a hundred percent to it and really try to dive in that’s why i gave the alchemist um you know another chance because i just couldn’t say like it did nothing for me but i i couldn’t do it so the untethered soul i’ll do that one then next i love audiobooks but uh i agree it is nice especially when it’s like self-help well if you’re going to

(1:48:33) do some exercises out of the book or some follow-alongs but podcasts are always good to listen to when you’re driving on the floor you know i i listen to a few of them and people again swear by them when they’re driving too i’m such a music person like i i blast some weird [ __ ] and it makes my day like my life my life could be going so shitty and the right michael bolton song could come on and i would turn it up or even like easy like it’s so weird how like a song could just change your mood and that’s

(1:49:05) why with me driving that’s like that’s what i have to do in order to like set my day so i think maybe chores like doing like housework would be good for a podcast or um especially with like a feng shui topic just clean and clean like the best one to listen to when you’re cleaning holy crap i need to also get some um podcast people from you guys then send me a list of people that you guys like yeah we will we’ll send you our list subscribe subscribe yeah there you go um okay so if you could whisper one

(1:49:36) phrase to everyone on the planet what would it be this is gonna sound so corny um i would probably whisper you are enough like honestly oh i love that people are so worried about everybody else and again it goes back to social media so worried about what their neighbor has you know what that girl has and it’s like people just start to really start to pick themselves they just having a kid too he’s on social media or like not instagram but you know youtube and he’s like i need to have that because he has

(1:50:06) that and never once are people just like i’m enough everything that i do matters and and even if it’s a small little footprint like it’s it’s mine i think that that’s the one thing that i wish that i could tell my siblings you know my family members everybody that is going through something it’s like all you have to do is be your own number one fan and you’re gonna get through it yeah i like that thanks yeah i love that um so we do have one question from the magic mob which is our tribe of

(1:50:36) listeners um hey uh so one of our uh listeners wanted to know what your relationship light is like now with dan b and or dan bilzerian and i don’t even know if i’m saying his name right um and how do you view his type of current fame let me can we just preface that for listeners who don’t know dan bilzarian i guess you could categorize him as the most infamous man on social media i don’t know besides trump i don’t know but when i would say that he he’s known he originally was known because he was

(1:51:14) for poker right or no yes okay i met him when he was a poker player and his lifestyle now was nothing like the lifestyle that i had with him like at all and so i don’t know him so much now we’re still friends we’re still cordial we still talk every once in a while so it’s not bad at all but i know him as the person that never went out never went to clubs never drank i’ve maybe seen him have a beer once or twice in my life wow when we were dating so his lifestyle drastically changed when we broke up but

(1:51:48) he was a good boyfriend like we you know i never he never cheated on me that i know of like there’s nothing that i see now when people are like oh you dated him it must have been it’s like no like i don’t know the person on social media that everybody knows yeah we’re home bodies yeah we never think that it kind of stemmed from y’all’s breakup that lifestyle or freedom maybe you know because social media was so big at the time it was still new so i think that that just kind of spiraled and then he got a lot of

(1:52:15) traction from that and kept going honestly i i would consider myself a feminist and a lot of girls give me [ __ ] because i do consider myself a feminist that i dated him um again he wasn’t like how he is now but if i were a dude honestly i would be the same way like i still have such a big masculine side to me that why not i i don’t know how he is with women i don’t know how he treats them um all i know is how he was to me and so if i were a single dude i would be living it up and parting and doing everything that he’s

(1:52:45) doing as long as he is happy that’s all you can really want for somebody um okay so we’ve got a pick your poison question from the magic mob which are always super fun okay i’m excited so here it is would you rather be able to eat anything you want to eat and stay in fabulous shape or go the rest of your life without sex okay wait sex with people or like sex at all like does masturbating count to i’m gonna say you can still masturbate okay so then yeah i would rather eat everything and wait i mean because nobody can

(1:53:35) what is it do you like to do it yourself sometimes like no nobody can ever get you off the way that you can so that’s an easy one i don’t even have to think about that one all right you’d be like pizza every night yeah every single night doesn’t matter cake everything and i’ll take care of myself when i’m done exactly what about you jade um i really love enlightened ice cream and halo top so much and they like tantric enlightened sex or something there’s a brand called enlightened ice

(1:54:07) cream apparently you know like once you have toddlers it’s like what sex yeah um so currently i would choose the food i feel like um but you know sex is like there’s so much if if it’s in the space that jessa brought up earlier about the mind there’s so much of a connection there and it can be you can feel like you’re in outer space you know so um currently i would choose the food but my answer probably would have been different before toddlers and once you’re a little bit older my answer

(1:54:40) would probably be different yeah one of the feeling i know what you’re gonna say why because i’m smiling yeah i already know you’re gonna say sex i’m gonna say here’s the thing i would choose sex because well of course i love sex i mean we all love sex that’s not up for debate here but i have never had like a great relationship with food as far and i’ve been lucky enough to not have you know real weight issues or any eating eating disorders but my digestive system has always been a

(1:55:13) problem so like the foods that you guys probably really enjoy i probably can’t even [ __ ] eat them so it’s like well what if you could though what if i don’t even ever want it that’s the problem i’ve never really [Music] it says no consequences yeah the thing is though have i ever experienced that without consequence so that i could know that that would be the better option if it was i do know i like sex one thing is i don’t know because maybe i can’t even compare properly you know like i i don’t know

(1:55:48) that eating a whole pizza and then a bucket of ice cream afterward would be so euphoric that i could it is i’ve never really been able to like i would literally [ __ ] die shakies and cold stones it’s that’s that’s a night let me tell you that i’m gonna tell you that so make sure you tell your husband your answer because i’m sure it’ll make him feel real good yeah well yeah well i mean he would pick food i already know but that’s really funny oh [ __ ] um all right jessa last question for you

(1:56:25) where can people find you out there in the world on social media and the like i would say the best before i would have said snapchat because that was my baby because that was the most raw realist that you could ever find but nobody’s really on snapchat anymore so um i’m gonna say instagram and that is at jessa hinton cool easy enough um by the way i i’m always been obsessed with following you but i really love how whenever you post yourself in almost any outfit but especially the cute ones that i’m all

(1:56:58) into i can always click the photo and find out where you got each piece on the cheap usually yep sure do thank you for doing that money on that that’s a service to women everywhere somebody just said that to me today um she commented she’s like thank you for you know listing that you get things for cheap because a lot of women are so you know what really like it it matters that much who the label is everything looks funny it looks expensive yeah it’s not what you wear it’s how you wear it but i get

(1:57:26) a lot of people that will ask me where something’s from and i’ll say target and it’s either like really or like ugh you’re welcome i saved you just like 50 right now on this t-shirt that you know was seven dollars come on now you know they’re already at target.com getting that [ __ ] as they’re talking [ __ ] they’re not going to say that it’s targeting but they’re gonna go buy it yeah no you’re welcome thank you all right i think we’re good jessa that was it so thank you so much you’re

(1:57:52) amazing me this is actually really fun it’s just like catching up with girlfriends that’s why we like the skype thing because we can see each other and see our reactions and make faces you know as as the this um podcast has been going i’ve seen myself get um oilier and oilier my air conditioning is oh somebody told me it turned off oh my god look at this spray tan thank you mercedes thank you i thought it was gonna be boob sweat yeah she’s got spray tan blotches on her white shirt because i made her turn off the ac surprise

(1:58:24) you’re doing it for the the listeners you’re doing it for the magic mob jessa i am so i mean it was worth it because i definitely had some good topics that even made me think a little bit so thank you guys for having me on the show thank you thank you so much we love you to catch up let’s hang out soon i don’t live that far away i was gonna say your ass is like 40 minutes away yeah hey well that’s without traffic let’s be real but yeah somebody didn’t live in texas then we wouldn’t

(1:58:52) i’ll be there in december we’ll we’ll skype her in yeah yeah i’ll be on my couch you can eat pizza on the other end and then you can have your [ __ ] salad or whatever it is that makes your balls tickle i don’t know what it is that you like nothing fun ever that’s right so balls afterwards i can’t turn this okay so i have to make sure that i press stop is that correct yeah um let’s just get a clean buy did you already press stop no okay jade let’s just get a clean goodbye because we

(1:59:23) trickled into all kinds of other [ __ ] because that’s what we do so just let’s just say like literally as clean as possible right here all right jessa thanks for coming on we love you so much yeah that was a blast we love you thank you guys for having me all right take care bye all right um i wanted to ask but i didn’t i figured we’d probably am i no oh you can it doesn’t matter just leave it until we’re done talking here okay um i figured we would edit it out but um do you think that dan’s happy

(1:59:59) i get a lot of people that ask that and people that know him tell me no like i still get people that that talk to him and still are friends with me when i see him because i’ve seen him a few times since um within the last year and he he likes to point out everything that he has and all the new things he has which usually means no but it’s who he’s talking to right [ __ ] about that so i think that that’s something that he enjoys when i’m around him is that i don’t want anything from him and he’s so used to

(2:00:33) offering and he is very giving like he’s a very giving person but i think that as you get older it starts to all become the same like after you’ve been doing that for so long it just becomes repetitive and not enough excites you anymore and so that’s one thing that i wish that he would find somebody that i knew him before all of this so anybody that he meets knows him as this and what he can offer and all this great [ __ ] that he has so i just i hope that he finds somebody that doesn’t care about all of that and

(2:01:06) that will be a good companion for him in every single way and i think that’s the one thing with social media it’s a blessing and a curse that you can meet so many great people but you can also meet some shitty people i think that jackson roman had that relationship with him he didn’t really want anything from dan and he was such a positive um positive person to be around i was extremely close to him before he passed but um he did uh and again we’re not gonna edit this into the show but he did say i remember

(2:01:34) telling me one time that um he felt like dan was one of the most depressed people he’d ever been around and he thought that’s why dan liked to be around him so much is because he was so positive um so i wasn’t sure what your view was especially once the social media chaos spot started you know snowballing into this big thing it’s hard to even go back and say wait i want to change directions i want to well he also got upset too because he had had um like a photo shoot or something at his house and a photographer reached out to

(2:02:08) me and asked me if i want to do it and my response is like no like i’m never gonna do a photo shoot at his house that’s [ __ ] weird he’s my ex-boyfriend and he took such offense to that like i was better than and he was less than he took it so weird and i’m like no dan you don’t understand like i can’t be seen with you like there’s some of my girlfriends that know dan from before like when i was dating him and they’re like you guys have such great chemistry even when you hang out

(2:02:31) because they’ve seen me when the um shooting happened in vegas i drove out there with a few friends and we went and we gave food to um all the first responders and we did all this and dan actually offered to use his like big utility uh truck thing and we loaded all the food on the bed blah blah blah and everyone’s like like you guys are like normal together like you’re not jessa hinton and he’s not dan bilzer and you guys are just like you’re just normal people and even if if that were to be true and

(2:02:57) for some reason we both woke up tomorrow we’re like oh my god we should just get married and i could never be seen with him for everything that i work so hard for or stand for or believe in i can be friends with him and i can support him but if we’re ever hanging out he can’t post my name like he can’t post me a picture like i don’t want any of that only because of the life that he created not him not him as a person because i love him as a person i was with him for for a while and still to

(2:03:22) this day like i love him as a person but at the end of the day what i’m teaching kyler is is so important and i saw dan with kyler actually at his new house he bought a new house in la and invited me over and he goes bring kyler so i’m like okay so we go and dan’s comments were like if your mom wasn’t stupid or if your mom wasn’t you this would be your room and like oh my god and i was like no like we’re we’re done here like you can’t do that to him because of course kyler’s ten he

(2:03:49) wants all the stuff well [ __ ] so he’s like mom wake up terrible i’ma [ __ ] kill you i can’t imagine so that’s another thing too in this lifestyle that you have people that will flaunt everything and just throw it in your face and dangle money and if you know me that’s kind of a deterrent like if you do that that’s i can make my own money like i don’t i don’t need your money i don’t want your money and if that’s the one thing that hey my name is like no no i’m good but thank you i wish

(2:04:21) the best to you so when you for him i when you lead with that type of stuff that your money and flaunting and that type of thing you’re going to attract people who only want you for that so it’s just a silly way to go about it i still have people texting me too it’s so weird and especially with a lot of the people that i’ve dated before um but they’ll text me nowadays like oh he’s with so and so and i’m like i don’t care i haven’t been with him in five years six years and oh i heard dan was i had

(2:04:48) dinner the other night with a friend of mine and he goes yeah i saw yeah i saw so-and-so flying with him and i’m like okay like you really stopped i ate a banana today like yeah i was just like it’s like squirrel like i don’t get that so the people are so infatuated with him and men and women do and it’s like either they love him or they hate him most of the time dan showed me some of the [ __ ] dms he gets from girls it’s disgusting girls are raunchier than men it is so bad how women would

(2:05:26) it it’s funny because we’re just talking about like how women can cackle at men and like do all of that and it’s like okay the dm’s that he showed me it’s like girls are so desperate he told me that girls would rather a shout out than a hundred thousand dollars like a shout out is that valuable that’s [ __ ] sad that’s scary because it has to do with validation bias yeah yeah i mean that’s what you know that’s why social media is so dangerous and what we’re putting on it

(2:05:53) too yeah like influencers are responsible for the the [ __ ] up girls we know you know that our influencers are responsible they’re supposed to be responsible for what we’re putting out there but we’re not being and what’s funny too is you see these girls and that’s why i loved snapchat so much because i would go on these [ __ ] rants and you see these girls traveling around the world and you know living this life and you have women that look up to them you have younger girls that are like when i grow up i’m

(2:06:19) going to be that it’s like you’re going to be a hooker yeah you’re going to be i was like yeah i don’t care if you’re a prostitute if you’re an escort stop singing or model yeah stop saying you’re a blogger stop lying just say like i am a pimp i am a hooker and be just [ __ ] truthful because everybody is looking up to these women who are beautiful and you know plastic surgery do what you need to do but at least know that your influence is still valid to somebody like you’re still reaching

(2:06:47) somebody and you’re you’re being deceitful and that’s what i don’t like so i’ll go on these rants and people are like yes preach say it like it is and i get a lot of women that are mad at me i get a lot of women that are models that will say like oh leave leave women alone you’re supposed to be this feminist i was like yeah but we didn’t come from where we came from and have the things that we have today because we’re still depending on men like we’re still needing men to to validate to pay for

(2:07:13) our stuff to you know create our happiness i’m like that’s not what a feminist is so yeah i stand for women and our equal rights and doing the things that we need to do but our youth is also dependent on what we’re producing right now so it’s so funny how like i have women that i’m friends with that are just like we don’t talk anymore because of my views and how i feel that women should be perceived as um can we edit in the part about social media is that okay um the part that we just talked about about

(2:07:43) social media like girls being raunchy and it going into oh yeah i don’t care about that okay so we’ll edit that part in but we won’t talk about dan being happy if it’s okay because i know that he he would get upset too because i know that he’s well i wouldn’t want to put just i definitely don’t want to dive deep into the damn thing anyway i think it’s just a long thing to touch on no but the social media stuff would i feel like is interesting i think yeah no i’m i’m 100 okay with that and i think that

(2:08:06) the if there are women out there listening or even men that have daughters or girlfriends or something just kind of having that because i have a lot of guys that will reach out and be like my wife loves you or my girlfriend you know is obsessed with you and that makes me feel good that men and women both respect you know and don’t come at me creepy it’s more of like a mutual thing yeah and if i can be honest and give a guy’s point of view because i do think like a man in a lot of things but have the compassion of being a female

(2:08:29) and knowing where they’re coming from i’ll do that all day long every day so yeah yeah cool all right so now okay explain to me what i now you guys go on to audacity hits the stop button yeah and then go to file yes wave or sorry export wave yes got it and then you’re gonna call it uh call it whatever you wanna call it like say jessa episode man we’re at two hours right now that’s amazing okay so got it and then you’re gonna go to we transfer okay save save save and then let me go down here okay so same thing with the wii

(2:09:22) transmission i’m gonna send that to adam and his address might pop up but if it doesn’t it’s adam at redfoxaudio.com right jade yeah okay so let me see um adam yeah it did it did pop up perfect and then add file i guess let’s see i think it’s done and then just hit transfer it’s good yeah and it’s going to take a while so we’ll hit you can hang up with us on skype after you hit transfer and then just don’t close down your computer or we transfer until it finishes so just leave

(2:10:00) it on plugged in and all that and it’ll go okay so as long as the windows open it’ll still keep going it won’t like close and go dark on me exactly so right now is it saying like ninety or one percent or whatever it’s saying it’s saying zero percent but it’s like it’s spinning around the circle yeah yeah and it says it’s what nine forty three point eight yeah that’s it so yeah once you hang up with us it’ll help it go too so yeah okay we’re all good all right well let me know if you guys

(2:10:27) need anything else and if you ever have another thing you would like to talk about another topic let me know and i’ll do it i’m sure we will um also will you just text us once it’s gone through just so we know that it went just because we can tell him yeah yeah we’ll do that cool thanks jessa all right guys i will talk to you soon all right okay love you bye guys let’s see um wait man the lighting was this is so much better on her to record the videos cause recording frame will be lowered to come

(2:10:59) that happened last time remember yeah which i mean the lighting on her screen was so much better when she minimized this not like yeah i saw that go different i know what a bummer um adam just fyi i hit stop on my audacity um so you’ll have to realign the audio i hit stop whenever i was walking jessa through how to save her big file so jaden eyes will probably not be synced at this point but we’re going to get into the next introduction yeah the intro or should we just do the outro okay yeah so intro yeah let’s do intro

(2:11:38) first okay i’m trying to feel like i have energy here but i don’t that was long interview i told chris i’d be done at 7 30. what i don’t know okay crazy well this this only takes 30 minutes that’s the famous last words jake what’s up boys and babes welcome to the magic hour i’m mercedes terrell and with me as always my majestic partner and shine jade bryce hi mercedes hey magic mob hey real quick before we jump in can we talk about why we are always asking y’all to subscribe to our dang podcast

(2:12:31) here’s the thing when you click that purple subscribe button it lets us know that there are people out there who are finding value in what we are posting so if you don’t subscribe we won’t know and by the way it’s only going to take you a few valuable seconds out of your life to do this and it will literally mean the difference between jade and i getting to continue to live out our passions through this show or not so please look at your phone right now open your podcast app click on that search icon do

(2:13:03) it with me i’ll give you a second click on that search icon type in the name of the podcast the magic hour spelled maj for mercedes and jade and tap on our show thumbnail and then just click subscribe you’re done that’s it you guys are our tribe and we are so thankful that you’re listening and allowing us to do what we love we hope you guys are finding value from what you’re hearing here and it’s our promise to you to do our very best at continuing to create valuable content for you amazing humans so thank you so

(2:13:42) much for sharing this time and space with us we love you guys yes we do love you guys so much all right friends today we’re going to be talking to one of the hottest chicks on the planet who also happens to be a good friend of ours so you already know she’s smart witty and downright hilarious plus she’s got a whole bag of tricks up her sleeve when it comes to relationships with both men and women by the way since she’s bisexual not to mention the fact that she’s dated one of the most infamous men out there

(2:14:16) in the world of social media all while juggling her duties as a single mother and as a very successful professional model girl it’s going to be good yes it is and then of course after our interview with jessa hinton we’ll leave you with a couple of our tips and tools we’ve aptly named our magic tricks to get you that one step closer to being an even more incredible human than you already are yeah yeah i’m so excited to have jessa on today she cracks me up um i don’t know have i told you how i met her

(2:14:55) um i don’t you know what you haven’t i met her on twitter actually in i think 2011 um and yeah she invited me to meet her at the cheesecake factory and we we’ve been friends ever since that’s so cute so cheesecake will do that to you like i feel like i need to know more about this situation you just like meet friends on twitter or what happens no well so i mean back then i so i just moved to la and i was actually living and so someone had turned and i lived in hollywood hills and so when i turned to their you know huge house they

(2:15:30) turned their basement into an apartment so i was like living in someone’s basement it didn’t have any windows or anything but it was it was my apartment and i didn’t know anybody um i knew one person in all of la and that’s a big city you know so i was desperate to make girlfriends and i was struggling with some depression as i have off and on in my life and so i just i just wanted so bad to get a little community group and yeah so when she um i think she posted something like who wants to go

(2:16:02) she either posted like who wants to go have some drinks at cheesecake factory or she may have like sent a couple dms to a couple girls i can’t remember but i just remember being like yes i’m going and then um you know la’s so big and i went to the wrong cheesecake factory which means it’s probably going to take me more than half an hour to get to the right one because it takes forever to get anywhere um but i was so upset when i got to the wrong one and i was still so determined i was like i’m i’m gonna go i’m gonna

(2:16:28) get there and yeah i did and there was like six of us there when uh when i got there and i i’m still friends with a few of them so i’m i’m glad i went yeah that’s such a cute story i didn’t know that um i met jessa i’m trying to recollect what the hell i’m so i think oh yeah i met jessa while working for monster energy um actually for supercross during the time i was on that tour and she worked a few of those tour dates with me and let’s see jess and i used to live in las vegas at the same time and

(2:17:13) so because of that we worked a lot of different gigs together um which by the way one of my favorite things about jessa is that when you’re around her especially if you’re working an extremely boring gig time will just fly by because she’s just super entertaining and uh i also have to say that this coming from someone who who’s been from me who’s been in the industry for a long time now jessa is one of the very few models out there who has always spread the love when it comes to to work like she’s referred me to

(2:17:52) several different clients and photographers which seems like that might be a really common scenario in the modeling industry but it’s not yeah it really isn’t um so she is a true woman’s woman and for that i consider her legit af and then goes as this intro so now um we’ll move into our magic tricks if you want to do the segway so adam here is where you’ll put jess’s intro and interview just so you know where we’re where we’re at space space wise okay and then what do we want to do about the piece

(2:18:36) oh yeah well how do you feel now i feel like it needs to be said um but i mean how though like and even if it’s not you i don’t have yours printed out to look at let me go all you would say is you would intro mercedes uh we talked a lot about like in the wrap up you might say so mercedes before we you know move on to our next segment and because we talked a bunch about you know playboy and nude modeling in that whole game i know you haven’t done that before but i was wondering would you ever be open to it

(2:19:12) so yeah that’s a good idea so but let’s take out some of the trigger words if you’re going to use the script okay or are you do not are you not gonna use the script you’re just gonna talk i’m gonna use the script okay um do you already have it printed out this version okay because i don’t let me go on my phone well maybe it won’t sound like triggers the way i say it like maybe i should run through once and you see where it triggers you and then you like write that down or something or like you know what i mean as i’m saying

(2:19:43) it yeah so that we can see how it flows okay go ahead does that make sense so really listen to it as if you were well as if you’re you because you’ll know where and as if i’m here yeah um okay so so give me an intro question so i can answer accordingly yeah so um mercedes before we get into our magic trick section um i know we talked about uh playboy and you know jessa being successful and um you know me having done it as well i don’t want it to come off as though we’re promoting that as an avenue to success so um i wanted to

(2:20:25) discuss that quickly and i know that you have not done it so um do you want to interject here i you know i’m glad you brought that up because i really do have a lot to say about this issue um so if you don’t mind i’m going to go on a little rant about this so first off to answer your question would i ever do nude modeling i would never say never about anything just because i know life tends to happen and things and perspectives change and i’m certainly not one to shame girls who shoot nude obviously some of my favorite people

(2:21:03) like you two ladies you and jessa are experts in um what it means to take on nude modeling and really own it um however i’ve made it this far in my career without shooting nude so i don’t foresee it doing it in my future i just don’t see that as anything coming up for me and i do think it’s really important to note for any young women listening especially those who may be aspiring models that when it comes to the subject of playboy or really any kind of nude modeling you should do whatever feels right for you

(2:21:52) so mm-hmm you can certainly lead a successful modeling career without going that route so if it’s something that you’re even a little bit unsure about or uncomfortable with then wait like that’s not a yes or a no you know it’s just you just wait until you’re sure about going one direction or the other the reason i say that is because nude modeling is a little bit like getting a tattoo it’s it’s permanent there’s no you know taking it back so if you decide to do it you’ll really want

(2:22:25) to make sure you’re ready and committed to that venture and by the way i suppose this is probably why i don’t have any tattoos either um maybe this is more about my own commitment issues than anything else but i don’t know um and as a quick side note i realized i could have given a much easier answer to your question jade but one of my and one of our biggest goals with this podcast is to really have it serve as a place to have a conversation not just you know sit in an echo chamber chamber um not just sitting in an echo i can’t wait

(2:23:09) and say that not just sit in an echo chamber reconfirming what we already know and my last thought on this which i’ll try to make short [Music] is that for as many women out there who have fully embraced the responsibilities that come with any sort of nude modeling there are countless others who regretfully take that plunge without really thinking it through and that might be due to the need for money or even just for attention sake but in any case unfortunately that scenario has really shed a negative light on the modeling industry as a

(2:23:50) whole a lot of people are under the impression that that’s you know uh modeling is just the gateway drug to to getting into the porn industry or something like that and that’s just simply not the case because on the other hand there are some incredibly amazing women out there like you two ladies who have fully embraced what nude modeling is really supposed to stand for which in my opinion is the expression of your rawest most vulnerable most feminine self and i truly think there’s literally nothing more beautiful than when someone

(2:24:31) can display that kind of authenticity that kind of bravery um so that’s yeah now if we could only get women to do these same shoots without photoshop that’d be great hashtag relish yeah and i will say um that you know i did do it out of spite i’ll never say that i regretted shooting with playboy but i did do it for the wrong reasons um and uh i i did see it though uh whenever i did shoot nude whether it was a playboy or not i did see it as using my body as an art piece and not as something that was my intention was never to turn someone

(2:25:13) on um or for them to use it for that my intention was always like seeing it kind of the way that we talked about how europe does as like it’s it’s another form of art and um you know the lighting and the curves of a woman’s body i always saw it as that way um i’d say i mean a lot of people are going to listen to this and call [ __ ] but the thing the fact of the matter is yeah you know you make decisions in life throughout your life no matter who you are and what career path you go down that some you’re gonna

(2:25:46) be all for some you’re gonna regret and i just my only point in bringing it up is that i don’t want people to obviously you know none of us want to make um want to do things that we end up regretting we don’t we don’t want to feel shame over things or whatever so be ready is all i’m saying don’t you know yeah and that’s what my point was going to be is that it’s such a big decision and if i were to have a girlfriend ask me like my opinion on them doing it i would probably tell them to stick to implied

(2:26:18) because you can still create the same sort of art and show just enough amount of the body as well while doing implied and it’s almost more beautiful to me um but um but yeah i’m glad that we brought that up because i definitely don’t want um want it to seem like um you know that’s yeah or that that’s like something that we can say is um uh something needed you know to to make it into the modeling industry necessary but it’s also you know don’t take from it that were uh or that i’m saying that you should not do it if this

(2:26:58) is something you’re passionate about and something you want to express then by all means go and do your mood nude mod your mood your nude modeling booboo like that’s totally i support you 100 whatever makes you happy and helps you find your bliss i just know too many girls that got into a situation where they needed money or there was you know it goes into it there’s a doug ugly dark side of this industry that can can ex can uh what’s the word i’m looking for can not exposed but can um target i guess can target

(2:27:38) women that are in need or vulnerable and they might not be the people who who wanted to or were really willing to do that long term i don’t know if i kind of said that in the right way anyway we’ve gone on long enough i’m sure yeah we can find you something okay so um so i don’t want to say my part again because i feel like i said exactly what i want to say how i wanted to say it and i don’t think i’ll be able to do that again because i’m getting kind of tired but i think that you have to resay it

(2:28:06) because you said well unless you don’t think so but you said you two girls instead of you and jessa and this is going to go after but it’s up to you um i say well so it’s not so okay first of all i didn’t i didn’t ask i said i don’t know if it’s confusing or if it doesn’t matter but i didn’t ask you if you would ever shoot nude i just said um what’s your your input on that since you haven’t shot nude so i kind of answered that like i kind of just put it out there that you haven’t um

(2:28:40) so i was thinking since it we went on about this for a long time if we just cut out i think we can cut out everything except for your first response to it what do you mean everything everything we said after your response to what i said i think we can cut out because basically i’m just reaffirming this you so i said this whole statement right and then you said yeah i wanted to make sure we didn’t um so i think so to make it shorter like your part because everything you said sounded really good um but it’s you make it clear that you’re

(2:29:24) not planning on doing it and the rest of your thing so if you if you think so if if it was just um if you cut out so first off and it just starts with and i do think it’s important to know for any young woman listening if it goes from there then it’s like i feel like it flows easier and it makes more sense according to how we’re doing it at this p at this part of the podcast um do i need to intro that again or i’m confused well you can just cut it out you want it to say uh well because i didn’t ask you if you

(2:30:00) would ever shoot nude i said i just re-ask it then well cause then it does so what i was saying i wasn’t i wasn’t asking if you were shooting nude i was saying i was telling you that i don’t want it to seem like i can’t even remember what it was now because i’m getting basically i said you wanted to make sure it didn’t seem like we were saying you should everyone should go do nude modeling yeah i think it comes at a better angle from that and then you have like a lot of really good valid points there but

(2:30:38) i think the thing is the rest of your message that you’re not gonna sh that you it’s not a choice that you’re gonna make my only issue is that at some points i like point back to the fact to what i stated in the beginning about not um modeling nude but i’m sure adam can cut down from to cut down that piece if that’s what floats he just cut off so the so first off and then started at and uh that i do think it’s important to know for any young woman listening then i feel like it um it’s like a positive

(2:31:16) message um and not because all you’re talking about there is that you wouldn’t do it and that’s really clear in the rest of the message um where oh but see the thing is i i really think it’s important for us for me to say that i’m first of all we’re not shaming girls who shoot nude and then also um that i’ve made it this far in my career without shooting nude and that’s before the i do think it’s important to note blah blah blah but in any case we can see what adam feels about how it flows if you give a

(2:31:49) second option of that intro so if your second option is um something similar about what you said before like mercedes before we move on to our next segment i wanted to find out your thoughts um since jessa and i have both been in playboy and i know you haven’t modeled nude firstly would you ever consider um doing that and secondly you know what’s your input there okay so cool and then and then adam can like play it both ways and see what flows and cut out the whole time i was just trying to keep it short since i know

(2:32:23) it’s um it’s already going to be a really long episode let’s do this one and then i’m like i’m going to come off of you with the piece you want me to do and see how because i might have to do more editing what i’m saying is i might have referred back and it won’t make sense and that’s going to take more time for us to figure out so let’s see yeah i looked through you didn’t refer back but there was a point where you said it as if jessa was still on so you have to say that

(2:32:46) like you have to change that but uh well that’s because the first time i referenced youtube girls which is in the first paragraph where i say obviously some of my favorite people and i said like you and jessa so i referenced her as jessa there and then at the end i referenced you two girls because yeah that’s what it is okay so okay so i’ll do it this just go ahead and i’ll say my piece after that all makes sense i think okay go ahead with which which one this time you’re going to give the

(2:33:15) alternate intro of um so real quick mercedes before we move on to our next segment i wanted to um uh before we move on to our next segment i wanted to pick your brain on uh how you know where you stand when it comes to doing playboy or nude modeling i know jessa and i have both you know done it i know what to say there but what am i am i asking you if you’ve done it in this that’s how you’re asking it yeah like figure out how to ask it in that sense just on the thing is because on this take i know i’m not going to reply

(2:33:57) correctly to that one but that way we’ll have it for the last take okay and your last question was perfect for the way you want me to say this time does that make sense i see okay sorry adam i i know adam we’re we’ll explain it later hopefully giving him hell on this episode um so mercedes before we go into our magic trick i want to um talk about you know playboy because jessa and i both have done it and um i definitely don’t want to paint a picture that it’s a needed avenue to success um and i know that you haven’t done it so

(2:34:37) um you know let’s talk about that and also you know bring up whether or not you would do it because i’m sure people are curious uh yeah thanks for bringing that that’s actually a really good question because i do have a lot to say about it um i do think it’s important to note for any young women listening especially those who may be aspiring models that when it comes to the subject of nude modeling you should do whatever feels right for you so really take that into consideration you know what does your gut tell you

(2:35:15) um you can certainly lead a successful modeling career like jade said without going that route so if it’s something you’re even a little bit unsure about or uncomfortable with then just wait there’s not a yes or no at that point it’s just i’m just saying just wait until you’re sure about one direction or the other and here’s why because nude modeling is a bit like getting a tattoo it is permanent there’s no taking it back so if you decide to do it you’ll really want to make sure you’re ready and

(2:35:44) committed to that venture and by the way i suppose that’s why i’ve not done nude modeling nor have i uh gotten any tattoos perhaps the reason behind that is because i’ve got some sort of commitment issues or something but um yeah i mean as a quick side note i realized i could have given a much easier answer to jade’s question but one of our biggest goals with this podcast is to really serve as a place to have a conversation and not just be in our own echo chamber reconfirming what we already know

(2:36:20) and uh i’d also say my last thought on this whole nude modeling thing is that for as many women out there who have fully embraced the responsibilities that come with nude modeling there are countless others who regretfully take that plunge without really thinking it through and sometimes that’s due to the need for money or even just you know for attention in the moment and unfortunately that scenario has really shed a negative light on the modeling industry as a whole which is so shitty you know um because on the other

(2:36:58) hand there are some incredibly amazing women out there like you and jessa who have fully embraced what nude modeling is um what i think it’s really supposed to stand for which in my opinion is the expression really of your rawest most vulnerable most feminine self and i i myself i truly think there is literally nothing more beautiful than when someone can display that kind of authenticity and bravery i mean i aspire to do that myself i’m not there yet um so that’s what i have to say about that now we could only get women to do that

(2:37:42) the same the same shoots without the photoshop will be getting real realistic i actually i actually tell photographers not to edit out my um stretch marks and c-section scar i love that yeah not all of them like that suggestion but and i’m sure maybe the ones that they post they edit it out but i i request that they don’t yeah that’s thank you thank you for doing it appreciate it women and men alike do they also they just don’t know that yet they will hashtag relish movement okay um okay now you want to segue into the

(2:38:18) yeah magic trick see where we’re at script take a couple deep breaths i know it’s been three hours how does it happen jade three hours now we know like because when you see joe rogan’s going four hours you’re like what the [ __ ] like how do y’all how do y’all do that this has been three hours by the way and that’s just with jessa so like okay go ahead you’re like we can’t talk anymore because we can we can’t literally we can’t just go i’m losing my voice that’s why i’m drinking the water

(2:38:55) all right boys and babes there’s one last thing we’d like to leave you with this week per usual jade and i have come up with some magic tricks to share with you jade what’s your magic trick this week yeah so um my magic trick uh is to find out what you rank on this introvert test and we’ll post this link on our instagram at the magic hour but uh the link is quiet rev rev dot com slash the introvert test and this literally takes 60 seconds it’s a very quick test um the point of it is that you’re supposed to answer really

(2:39:37) fast so um yeah it tells you if you’re an introvert or an extrovert but i actually got there’s a third option which is what i got which is ambivert it means when you kind of like or a chameleon and there’s times when there’s situations that make you an introvert in situations that make you an extrovert um so i cannot meet people in a bar or in a club i actually kind of shut down in those situations because i feel like this is all small talk nobody’s even gonna remember this tomorrow and just

(2:40:07) you know um those situations are often low frequency and there’s something about me or something about the situation that makes me feel like it’s just a waste of time and i know that sounds really snooty but that’s my extrovert coming out there um however as the situation the you know the story i told about how i met jessa that’s a super um or no that’s an introvert in me but uh the situation that i talked about with jessa that’s like such a extrovert yeah thing to do you know so um and like you went to you know peru

(2:40:41) and machu picchu by yourself i mean like you have a lot of extrovert in you but i have seen you also fill the shoes of an introvert in some you know you want your own quiet time and space and that type of thing yeah it really depends on the situation um but you know i can go to dinner with a group of girlfriends and feel like when i leave i can feel so rejuvenated or i can go spend half that amount of time in a bar and leave and feel so drained um and you know i’ve been given a really hard time about that like people have really

(2:41:14) judged me on that and said i’m a debbie downer and things like that but i have had to accept that what’s fun for other people may not be fun for me and vice versa um quick interjection do you think that has anything to do with because i found myself in the city i find myself in the same situation you just described and and i used to be like if i was at a bar with friends oh my god how much fun i’m drinking and all that but now i don’t drink a lot and i know you don’t drink much as as either um you know i can i’ll have one

(2:41:46) or two drinks i have sake when i have sushi and things are in there but yeah i never there is never a thought in me that’s like man i want to hit the club tonight or like i want to get hammered or like after hours i’m like [ __ ] no holy hell no um go to bed yeah so it is partly that i don’t drink but it’s more that i want to have conversations of substance and of depth and that just doesn’t happen whenever i’m in a bar and i also notice whenever i go to a bar that i’ve been to before it’s

(2:42:16) always the same people doing the same thing and i’m like what else what else do you guys do like if y’all are here all night and you’re drinking this much you probably aren’t doing much in your day you know and i hate to sound judgmental it’s probably i’ve got some matching pictures there that i need to work with and some stuff from my childhood that’s causing me to feel those feelings but um the thing is once i took this test you’re right they they doing [ __ ] they’re hungover

(2:42:41) all day the next day they’re maybe going to be are you celebrating yeah what are you like what’s i mean cool if you have that much to celebrate [ __ ] go for it but i i i apparently need to celebrate sleep more than anything else yeah and but so the thing is is once i took this test and like saw the results it made me accept that part of myself more because before i was judging myself as well and not like oh well how come i’m not like as fun as those girls over there that are yelling shots you know

(2:43:10) basics this made me accept that more and it also helped me to operate at my highest potential because if you use the knowledge from this test um to shape how you socialize then you’re going to be rejuvenated and instead of drained because um if if you get that result and honor it you know like my god i know you so much on this and and know that it doesn’t need to be changed that’s a big part of it if if you get a result don’t try to change it accept it about yourself and use it because now that i own it i know my

(2:43:40) limits and i’m not pressuring myself to do things that i don’t want to do because i know that that’s it’s just not my personality type um and you may like be listening to this and think like i already know i’m an extrovert i already know i’m an introvert but again seeing it on on as like as a test result makes you accept it more and like honor that part of yourself and then go from there when it comes to organizing your social activities so it’s helped me a lot yeah that’s such a good affirmation

(2:44:09) i need to get on there and do that test right away and i will be and i’ll let you know what i get but um i mean i know i’m going on and on and we’ve already had the longest episode ever so well let me say real quick there’s a book if you are an introvert there’s a book called being an introvert in a loud world um that has been highly recommended to me but i have not read but i wanted to go ahead and put it out there because it’s been recommended a lot ooh a pre-reco pre-red record okay um

(2:44:38) now adam you might cut this and jump me to my magic trick but real quick i’m gonna go back into jade’s because i have more to say about it [ __ ] i know she’s mad at me because we’re both so no i’m i’m feeling bad for him i feel like he has so much like i don’t know how hard it is to edit he’s got to listen to three hours before he can even i feel awful okay we really want to make you money soon i know so badly um so i wanted to oh yeah so i was going to go back on okay so i am really feeling you on this

(2:45:14) whole figuring out what you’re what is it a personality type uh like a social personality i would say yeah okay so this is very interesting to me because there are totally times like in my past even in my present where i’m either hanging out with a person or like i have you know like an ex-boyfriend where you really want to be in sync with this person but they’re just a partier or they’re just like always going balls to the walls partying i’ve seen this happen actually in a lot of friends relationships even um it’s

(2:45:46) happened in my own relationships where someone’s like a bummer yeah they’re always wanting to go a different you know to a higher level of partying or and you’re growing in a different direction so it sucks when it’s like someone you love so much and they’re growing in one direction and you’re growing in the other and you you can’t choose to shrink yourself back for that relationship you know it’s not worth it yeah so i think that’s a a really useful magic trick because you can affirm that

(2:46:15) you’re okay you know that this is who you are and it’s okay and work within your confines yeah it’s also interesting that like some people depending on what they bring out in you like some people bring out the kid in me and i’m like silly as [ __ ] and then every night yeah and then other people bring out the intellect in me where i’m like i just want to ask them question after question after question so it’s like some people bring out the extrovert in me and then some people it’s like

(2:46:46) there’s just there’s no connection and i just i just want to be alone with my thoughts because it’s a more interesting conversation i hate to say it but isn’t it almost like there might be a connection with those people it’s just too much work to get to it or something and in any case i’ve definitely had times in my life where i am partying and having you know up for after hours and doing all that stuff and that’s just not me now and so i have to align you know realign sometimes with people who are in that

(2:47:15) same uh mindset with me and some people at least it’s like your friends because some people are have like married someone and that’s been the situation and then they’ve had to get a divorce you know but um i don’t know if i told you i um and i am attending boulder psychic institute it’s the classes i take on tuesday nights but they teach about the chakras and your crown chakra is they teach you to see other people’s colors of the crown chakra and if there’s someone that you want to connect

(2:47:47) with you can change your crown chakra color to their crown chakra color so it’s really the mirror neurons situation so i’m going to talk about it in another podcast today so i’ve seen it’s it’s interesting like i’ve gone into work before and seen someone’s aura color like not on purpose and then i’ve seen someone’s i’ve seen people that i’m talking to sometimes i’ll see their root their crown chakra color and i’m like ah and so they teach you to match it so that

(2:48:14) you guys can connect on that level but they say that if you’re that’s if you want connection if you’re like talking to someone but you’re like that’s not the energy you want then you don’t ever match it but you go to a color like if they’re red orange you’ll go to like like a yellowy hue you know like something that’s similar to where you’re not like fighting and butting heads with this person it’s still like a calm conversation but you’re not matching their energy it’s really interesting so

(2:48:43) interesting we’ll have to probably get into that a later time because i want to know like isn’t that crown chakra always purple i thought so you’re looking at an aura but is it an aura around their head no the crown chakra is not always purple that’s just i think um they haven’t because that’s what i thought too and that is how it’s like always depicted in photos um but the crown chakra changes colors depending on and it’s not like if someone has a line green chalk uh crown chakra it may be

(2:49:09) gold the next day um but what they teach is that the highest way to operate when it comes to the crown chakra is gold and i have there it’s really um crazy when i do the meditations that they’ve taught to change your crown chakra color when i change it to gold my day is completely different like i make more money that day i’m not kidding like at work i um i just it’s a completely different experience my day takes a shift when i do that meditation i love it i love that you’re going to class for it we’re going

(2:49:41) to get into that i’m sure later later down the line well what’s your magic trick all right my magic trick is how to get more comfortable being nude in front of others you see how this ties into our show today um intriguing i’m interested yes so i went to a korean spa last week which i’ve never gone to before i went with a bunch of my girlfriends who had also never been there before one of them had and kind of like gave us some warnings but didn’t really want to scare us i think so she didn’t get too in

(2:50:17) detail with it so how you might ask does going to a korean spa get you more comfortable being nude in front of others well turns out soon as you walk in the door literally you got to drop your drawers and be fully nude with all the other ladies in there and just it’s like i’m home yeah just chill like that like no stranger danger you’re just chilling in the buff you’re going to be soaking in the tub so like so what happened was we all got there we’re all getting into this experience you got to put all your

(2:50:55) clothes in a locker and then you’ve got to be butt naked it literally is the rules posted you must be naked you can’t use like they give you some little what looks like a pee gym clothes outfit can’t wear those until you’re in the you know rooms where boys can be in so you go all in the buff i’ve known these girls for most of my life now like all of them at least since middle school and better to do it yeah but we never spent a bunch of time naked in front of each other you know and as models by the

(2:51:27) way we spend a lot more time naked in front of each other than most because we’re always changing for shoots and you know in and out yeah we got a lot of stuff going on so or sharing hotel rooms and things like that for gigs so um maybe i’m a little more comfortable with it than some but anyway so there we are we’re all naked at this spa like off the bat and you go soaking hot tubs there’s got they’ve got like steam saunas dry saunas and so you kind of go through the gamut of going into all those places because

(2:51:58) you gotta warm up your skin and and soak your skin enough to loosen it because the next step of this little journey is a little chubby korean lady comes out of some [ __ ] it’s hidden secret hallway and screams out a number and you have this like wristband they give you when you first walk in that has your number on it so they scream out your number if you call your number you got to get up and by the way this the korean ladies that work there they’re wearing like black lace lingerie so it’s very strange yes it’s very strange what am i

(2:52:37) doing so now you follow this lady in her black lingerie down to i think they wear like black silk lace lingerie because it dries quickly because here’s the next phase i gotta get into so they walk you down this hall of like people laying on these plastic beds being bucket like take with buckets having buckets of water thrown on them so it looks like you’re going into some sort of horror film yeah like or maybe a uh a factory for farming humans is what the the vision is i had because there’s all these plastic tables

(2:53:18) and the lady who barely speaks any english tells you get on the table and the tables all you know got water from residual from the last person or whatever oh god yeah so you get on the table you’re like what the [ __ ] i’m like what the [ __ ] yeah what did my girlfriend who signed us up for this get us into good lord i’m butt naked remember butt cracking naked and i get i get on the uh plastic table there and she quickly throws a towel over my head so now i can see nothing but i’m butt naked on the

(2:53:53) table little korean lady don’t know what she’s about to do to me and she breaks out this like scrubber and she starts going to town she literally scrubbed every crevice of my body from head to toe i’m talking every crevice like she’s like okay flip over i’m like oh jesus you know like she’s yanking your arm above your head she’s yanking your leg above your head she’s getting all the crevices and cracks okay and then she’s just dousing you with buckets of water in between so you’re

(2:54:27) just like it’s almost like a getting water get all the dead skin off yeah yeah it’s like to get all the dead skin off which you see rolling off you which is kind of gross but awesome because you’re like thank god this is getting off me how much skin have i had here for so long and then and then you’re getting like waterboarded basically um and then she puts she basically i mean just douses you with a squeeze bottle of oil and massages you quote-unquote massages you which is basically like a torture

(2:54:57) chamber of poking prodding and and pain uh yeah well i like it too but this was on a next level game of intense massages like i was pretty sure she was gonna break my neck not gonna lie um and uh i gotta say though end game it was pretty awesome so like once before i get in that i was gonna say that um adam edit this back come out of the massage come out of the massage piece um or out of break my neck then once you’re done being treated like a baby calf getting raised for kobe beef um they release you back into the wild with

(2:55:43) your other bewildered naked friends where you can conversate about what the [ __ ] just happened oh my god but um yeah so bottom line it was like fun yeah it was really awesome and somehow that extreme vulnerability and doing it all you know with my friends around my friends and then of course being in the hands of these gnarly korean ladies made me feel a lot less attached to my body like my my skin suit somehow and more in touch more in touch with being and experiencing the now as it were it was like yeah it was truly a bonding

(2:56:22) experience definitely something i would recommend so your magic trick is to go to a korean spot to feel more comfortable being nude yes and get the gamut like get the scrub get the massage or it should be or to get ready for being nude i guess absolutely either way you’re to be nude and you’re going to be they’re going to be all up in your junk so and by the way i heard on the guy’s side they’ve got men that do the guys side oh lord so you know i’m on a make a group date situation funny and i’ve already told my husband

(2:56:56) chris that uh we need to get on that game and he’s like uh i’m pretty sure if i called any of my friends and told them that we’re gonna go hang out with our dangalangs hanging and get rubbed by asian curry little korean men they’ll say no but he said he’s working up the confidence he’s we’ll see how it goes i’ll let you guys know if that ever happens um that’s it that’s my magic trick y’all that’s a really funny magic trick um it’s so different from mine the yin and the yang yeah um i do want

(2:57:30) to say though about boulder psychic institute um i highly recommend it for so many reasons they have a self-healing course um and i feel like they should change their name to boulder intuitive institute or something because it’s not like terror reading and future readings and things like that that’s not stuff that i’m into um it’s all about being an empath or something it’s all about um just auras and energy and what you’re putting out there and being able to choose what you’re allowing to come into your space

(2:58:02) so but yeah i wanted to clarify that because i do highly recommend that place and i know a lot of people are turned off by the word psychic yeah um i think adam can be the call on this but um all that about going into that might be too long for this episode and we should really go into that on a something that’s revolving more around it because i really like the idea of i can’t remember why i brought it up it wasn’t that’s what i’m saying it doesn’t really fit here well if it flows um oh no it was because um of connecting

(2:58:32) how some people bring you in with um uh some people bring in your inner child yeah okay so i don’t think we have to we need it but we should definitely i want you to remember or like maybe start i don’t think adam you tell us what you think yeah um and let’s definitely build an episode around that though because i like it all right you guys uh we’re coming to the end of the show thanks so much for joining us on this adventure uh i really enjoyed having jessa on today i feel like we got to see a side of her

(2:59:02) that most people don’t get to see um i love that she was lounging on the couch it made it so personable so i hope you guys enjoyed that i did um yeah we’d love to hear from you any feedback would be awesome any and all feedback hit us up at the magic hour and also please remember to subscribe to the show and spread the love um share this with your friends and we’ll be back next week for another episode of the magic hour but for now it’s mercedes and jade signing off until next time be a light thank you so much to today’s guest

(2:59:37) jessa hinton you can follow jessa on instagram twitter and facebook at jessa hinton stay magical friends okay so um when we record being sexy let’s record that thank you for the um let’s write out a thank you for um the the music yeah and that he can just put us again with the spelling of her name before we get on to the next okay because her name well i think we’re done we don’t have anything else to record i have to record some pickups i guess or something from jimmy’s episode that got crashed out

(3:00:13) with his mic or whatever thank you so much to today’s guest jessa hinton you can follow jessa on instagram twitter and facebook at jessahinton that’s spelled j-e-s-s-a-h-i-n-t-o-n stay magical friends okay so you wanna what were you saying so we need to remember when we do um i know we’re going to rehearse the sexy episode tomorrow night but when we record it let’s record um um the thank you to the musician because i completely forgot about that and i told him that we would have that on on a couple shows so yeah you don’t want to

(3:00:56) do that right now i’m going to hit stop um no because i want to write something out that’s like cute okay um but i do need to do a pick up on this one for i guess i’m gonna stop mine oh gosh i keep hitting record so what happened to no and i need to look up like how he spells his name and all that too okay make sure i have it right so that’s at that’s three hours yeah sorry yes uh adam i’m getting ready to give you pick up lines i’m just looking for it in my inbox for jimmy’s episode

(3:01:34) where the hell is this yeah i need to eat some food so what happened with jimmy’s thing it was just his i didn’t read all that because you guys got we’re going on and on and on i don’t know like there was just it was just um maybe when he had it in it was like a little bit crooked or something and so it was making that like internal buzzing sound and then when he he took it out of the laptop and plugged it into his phone to talk to sandra and then replugged it into his it like fixed it that is so random yeah

(3:02:11) yeah thank god for sandra yeah seriously okay um when you’re explaining my give me your word again thank you so much for today’s guest jimmy smith can you even follow jimmy on instagram and follow him okay it’s just one piece it looks like all right thank you so much to today’s guest jimmy smith you can follow jimmy on instagram at j smith mma wait this is not spelled right okay thank you so much to today’s guest jimmy smith you can follow jimmy on instagram at jsmithmma and follow him on facebook and

(3:03:00) twitter at jimmysmithmma stay magical friends jay don’t move next time ready i’m not my sound’s not on you can’t hear me okay cool yeah then i should be good that was all he asked for adam we’re sorry we love you oh okay that’s it right yeah oh god what are we doing tomorrow fine we’re rehearsing um a pep talk on sexiness do you have that ready uh i will tomorrow okay i have it i have i mean i stopped and switched to jessa episode yeah so i didn’t finish it but i’m exporting this thing sorry

(3:03:51) um what did you title yours jess episode yeah jade we got two episodes and i hope it came out really good how did you see our fourth i mean we got two interviews in it oh yeah how’d you feel about it so i don’t know how much it’s going to cause like