(00:00) yeah so let me tell them um do i sound okay on y’all’s end yeah you sound great because usually people have like you know apple air pods or something or little earbuds sure so just using their microphone on their laptop so you sound great okay i told him we’re good yeah you sound awesome you sound kind of like god oh my god too much compared to our other um so um mercedes is gonna oh i need to hit record yes please mercedes are you already recording i am i have ecam recording and audacity is on um so mercedes gonna intro you in and then

(00:49) we’ll just go into the questions cool okay cool so without further ado let me introduce a psychedelic and microdosing expert who studies cognitive behavioral positive jungian transactional evolutionary and clinical psychology and shares all that he learns along the way he has a free ebook on healing from a traumatic past and a free email course on creating the future you want erica yes what’s up eric thank you guys for having me on thank you yeah we’re excited i really have a professional seeming podcast i’ve done

(01:35) dozens and i’ve never gotten a email at the beginning where it kind of tells you what to do how to get the recording going and uh so you guys have something cool going on here appreciate i think we feel like well we haven’t even done 10 episodes so thank you and plus since we do this all from skype it’s like we feel like we have to make up for not being in the studio together with other things i also have two babies sleeping in the next room you guys got to do what you got to do i respect it well i mean want to just jump right in are we

(02:07) ready yeah all right cool so eric let’s talk jungian therapy um first off maybe you could define what jungian therapy is since many of our listeners i’m sure especially even myself before knowing you it was a new term i need to know what it’s all about uh so i don’t want to be the [ __ ] but uh and i said his name wrong for a long time but it’s jungian he was a german dude and so they pronounced it but essentially he was um a colleague of freud and freud established what’s called psychoanalytic

(02:42) psychology and basically that’s where we get the meme of the therapist sitting in the room where they listen to your childhood and they say hmm what does that make you think of and long story short freud thought that everything that’s wrong with everybody comes down to kinks in their sexuality and how it developed and jung was like i think there’s more to the human organism than just sexuality there’s also power and there’s a will to like spiritual development and uh freud was an atheist and he was like no

(03:16) i don’t want to hear none of that [ __ ] and jung was a weird dude and he believed that there is a spiritual element to humans that if we ignore we will not develop properly and then young studied um schizophrenics for a long time and he kind of came up with this idea that all humans come from a collective human psyche and that um the idea of the collective unconscious was actually his discovery the category of introvert and extrovert was actually his discovery the myers-briggs personality test was his discovery from his book the

(03:55) psychological types um the term synchronicity comes from young and a lot of people who have kind of studied the history of new age philosophy credit him being kind of the forefather um he was just a smart [ __ ] dude and i i like to go to the source and i’m really interested in clinical psychology and he seems to be the smartest dude in history so i’m trying to i’m currently reading his collected works yeah i see you update the percentages and it’s the hardest thing for sure so i kind of like that we had

(04:35) no idea how to even promote pronounce it because that shows how much we’re learning from our guests and that’s super exciting um the only thing i know about this type of therapy is what i’ve read in um the road less traveled yeah one of my favorites um so there was times where i like picked it up and i just wasn’t ready but i finally did finish that book last year and um it talks about you know merging the unconscious and the conscious and i love that idea um but yeah that was the only thing i’ve read about this so

(05:08) it’s super intriguing to me and just from a practical standpoint kind of the thing one of the things he’s the most famous for is dreams and dream interpretation and essentially that dreams have a meaning most mainstream psychologists think that basically dreams are just a evolutionary byproduct of the brain churning through information young was like no um the collective unconscious is the source from which we got all the world religions all the world’s myths and that same function that created those things also

(05:44) creates your dreams and essentially your dreams are deeper parts of your psyche that are way smarter than your ego and your conscious mind trying to bring balance to your ego and how you live your day-to-day life and it’s hard to really crack the code to how to interpret dreams but once you do it’s a lifelong um conversation that you have with the things in you that feel like god’s and i think it’s one of the dopest things i’ve ever discovered yeah i 100 feel like our dreams are always telling

(06:19) us something that we need to deal with i know what are we going to say on my end i have the most vivid dreams of like when i talk about them people are like yeah i don’t have that vivid of dreams but sometimes i can’t even distinguish like if it’s if i’m having a memory of something sometimes i’m like damn that seems really weird was that a dream or was that real life yeah and i noticed that even i know some of my dreams i mean they’re so real that i wake up and i’m like i mean there’s no distinction between

(06:49) the two you know i was experiencing it in every way possible um and predicting predicting things too like that will come in the future which is pretty cool to know that our brains are you know powerful enough if we can tap into them to like re-knowing recognizing um that that book talks about there’s a thing sorry gone no no no the hard part for me is that i can this is gonna make me sound crazy but i can recall parts of some of my past lives and they bleed into my dreams and there’s this this is again this makes me sound crazy

(07:25) but in a past life i was a sex slave victim and i remember the like the house that i guess sex slaves went to for therapy after and they were they were being hidden i remember that house and what it looks like on the outside and what the yard outside looks like it’s really weird because i’ve i start to think like have i been to this house in this life like why do i have such a vivid memory and it shows up in my dreams sometimes so do you have any any idea what what the heck is going on in my brain there’s

(07:58) basically a couple of things um both of you have said things that if i tried to go into i don’t know if you would want to do it on a podcast because it would be personal right yeah oh no we’ll be here we’re pretty open like that that’s what our podcast is about mostly yeah so then we’ll go there okay so i’m gonna preface all this with i don’t know but this is my best guess based off of what i’ve read and what i’ve learned the first thing about having really vivid dreams essentially the jungian interpretation

(08:31) of this is the more vivid our dreams are it’s a representation of our blocked energy in the real world and he defines libido differently from freud freud thought libido was the energy in you that wants to [ __ ] but young was libido is the your life force it’s the thing in you that wants to become who you could be and basically if there’s stuff going on in your life that you know you want to do but either you’re not doing it out of fear or you’re not doing it out of there’s actual obstacles in your way

(09:05) what young thought is that your psyche is trying to figure out how to get past that obstacle and if you aren’t doing it in the real world that energy goes inward and it makes your dreams super vivid so essentially what i would ask you is uh what is the thing that you know you should be doing that you’re not doing and you probably will have an answer there yeah well i think it’s interesting you bring up libido specifically for both uh you know it’s definitions because jade already knows what i’m

(09:35) going to get into here um because i so i have i’ll get into other types of vivid dreams but a probably the most common vivid dreams i have are during my week of ovulation and they are when we’re the most turned on for sure well yeah we’re chemically there right um and so during the week of ovulation and it’s a sexual dream and very very often it’s and this has been with every partner i’ve ever had i have dreams of cheating on my partners i live out the full experience of like going down the

(10:12) road of of deciding to do it then i act it out and then i live the consequence and i wake up like oh god you know like i did this thing of course i enjoyed whatever i enjoyed during it and and i had the full experience like i said my dreams are very vivid they’re hard to even know the difference um between life and real life and dreams and what is reality anyway but um good for you so once i wake up though i’m always like damn i wish whoever i’m with you know like currently my husband but any boyfriend i’ve ever had in the past

(10:44) and as i’ve always thought i wish they would have these types of dreams have these experiences where they can live through you know the the actual experience whether that’s like getting something off your chest you needed to do or whatever getting that energy out of you and then having the consequence too to know that when you know you’re with this specific person in this life you know um yeah what the consequence would be of doing something like that so i i’ve been very loyal i think it’s due

(11:15) a lot a lot of it comes from my my dreams like i really think that that’s been a driving factor in my loyalty and my relationships which is interesting and the other dreams i have sorry i’ll let you in eric in just a second just so i could finish because i know i want to get whatever you’re going to say about all these pieces of my weird brain um the other dreams that i have that have been extremely vivid in my life i’ve had a lot of just weird stuff and some repetitive but more uh the things that stick out to me

(11:43) the most are like um before my grandma died i dreamt how she was going to die it was a very you know it was a dream so it was very strange and kind of disembodied uh the the events that happened in it but it was completely heart-wrenching she died in my arms like i was trying to hold her body and her pieces together there was a whole experience um like we were sitting i don’t know how far we want to go into this dream but basically we’re sitting at a picnic table together you could see like friends and family in

(12:14) the background you know playing and whatever they’re doing out in a picnic in a park area park setting and i’m sitting there with her my grandma’s a diabetic and she’s has this plate in front of her full of jewelry like full of necklaces and rings and jewels and things like that and she’s has a fork and she’s eating the necklaces and it’s hanging out of her mouth like spaghetti and i’m like grandma you can’t eat that and i used to always have to tell her like don’t eat that you know like she’d

(12:42) always be trying to eat something sugary or starchy or whatever it was and i was telling her grandma don’t eat that you can’t have that and she was like she was like eating it anyway she always did and that was like her in real life and then suddenly she like grabs her chest and she’s holding her chest and she’s like she’s like you know has this this necklace danging out of her mouth and she’s making uh like a sound like kind of like she’s choking and so i’m like grandma you’re choking and she’s shaking

(13:08) her head no and i start pulling this necklace out of her throat and i pull it and pull it and it comes out and she’s still holding her chest and i said are you choking is there still something in there you know and she’s like shaking her head no and she can’t speak at this point and i realize she’s having a heart attack and so i pick her up and i’m running with her you know i see friends and they won’t nobody helps you in your dreams there’s always like these obstacles that are just ridiculous

(13:34) nobody nobody will help you and she turns into essentially like her her her arms and legs her body parts turn into like instead of bones they’re like pvc pipes and she starts just disintegrating essentially in my arms and her head’s coming off and i can see the pipe you know underneath it’s supposed to be and i’m trying to like keep her together and eventually i can’t get her to a hospital get her to some help and so i stop and i’m holding her and i know she’s going you know it’s obvious like i can’t

(14:02) save her and then i wake up i mean she dies essentially i wake up i’m distraught i wake up i call my mom and my sister and they my sister actually had a similar dream at the around the same time we do things like that a lot but um yeah so stuff like that is super vivid and i live through the death of her and then she does die of a harder so then the the irony or i don’t know the weird coincidence of it or however you want to say or the psychic portion of my brain working on it she eventually um my grandpa passes away

(14:41) i think my grandpa passed away right before i had that dream and my grandma um passes away within nine months of him yeah and when she dies she actually goes she she broke into my uncle’s house ate a pie it was a sugar-free pie but it was still enough carbs she ate enough of it that it put her into what which her blood sugar was high enough when my uncle came home and found out she had broken in because she lived next door to him um that her blood sugar was high enough she should be like in a diabetic coma so

(15:11) she brought her to the hospital and while she was there she started she had ended up having a heart attack and died of a heart attack so i think she died of a broken heart more than anything else because of my grandpa she had to wake up every day like and not she didn’t remember that she had died and had to relive that but in any case there you go yeah there for sure is a lot to unpack there the first set of dreams clearly what that is um from an evolutionary psychology standpoint when women are ovulating your dna

(15:42) wants to leave the safe man which is the man that you marry because that’s the man who’s stable to go try to find a one-night stand with a man with the highest gene potential which is basically the most attractive most dominant blah blah and because we have a consciousness we can repress that dna urge just because we have that urge it doesn’t mean it’s good but that’s clearly kind of the libido energy that is being suppressed in the real world that comes up in the dream and the jungian interpretation of dreams is that

(16:11) it’s a compensatory mechanism and so it’s working out perfectly in that type of dream that you’re talking about and the second one if i were to try so what a young gang would do would ask you to free associate with each of the main images of that dream and then the way our minds work is that how you associate away from each of those symbols would tell me basically everything that i need to know about that time of your life what was happening but kind of the you know and that would to do that ethically and responsibly would take

(16:43) like 10 hours but essentially it seems like our meat suit is a lot smarter than our ego and it’s picking up patterns in other people’s meat suits and you and your sister clearly were watching your grandma and could see where her meat suit was headed like you could see the patterns that she was living and you knew that she was gonna die and i think that that is how our dreams can predict or anticipate the future but i’m also willing to put it out there that dreams and the psyche do things that the rational mind can’t comprehend and i’m a

(17:18) rationalist at heart so it’s hard for me to see beyond those walls but those are super interesting and what’s going to be more uncomfortable is the dreams that you talked about jade at least the way that i understand psychology i think past lives are basically either repressed memories or repressed fantasies that we had as kids and basically freud got in trouble when he was first starting out his career what he was finding is that every patient he had he thought the patient’s um word associations were telling him that

(17:52) they were all raped and basically he was going to be revealing to the society that he was in which was vienna that all the men of all the most powerful families were rapists what he found out was is that it tends to be the most common fantasy of a child that they have some type of sexual dream about the opposite parent and then they instantly have to repress that dream and then that’s where he got the idea of the otopiss and the electra complex and basically a lot of people misunderstand the otifice complex and they think mom wants

(18:28) to [ __ ] the sun that’s not what’s going on basically most women who fall in love with the man the man starts to drift away and then if they have a child if the first child is a boy they tend to unconsciously project that relationship that they had with the father that broke onto the sun and basically emotional incest starts to happen and it’s unconscious it’s not like the mom wants to do this on purpose yeah of course but it it [ __ ] up the sun and the sun will have to work through that [ __ ] so that’s

(19:01) where the otapus complex comes from and so your dreams of past life my guess would be likely that you had dreams or fantasies as a child like i’m talking like four and five and we really don’t like the look of this type of [ __ ] well so they’re not dreams uh they didn’t start out as dreams they started out as psychedelic experiences or um psychic readings that i did on myself at a psychic training but they bled into my dreams um yeah i’m not sure if that makes a difference or no so that’s actually an interesting and

(19:32) good point from a jungian standpoint and again like i can only make my best guess young and i’m naive and i can only go off what i’ve read but the part of the psyche that creates dreams is the same part of the psyche that creates fantasies and fantasies are basically waking dreams and so you can think of the sex slave past life as a symbol that your unconscious is trying to offer your conscious mind to help you process through something it doesn’t mean that what would your guess be that that is something around sexuality like either

(20:06) you don’t express it as much as it in you wants to be expressed or the way it is expressed is not authentic and that’s basically true probably for every single [ __ ] person listening to this podcast like yeah sexuality is one of the hardest things for our culture to contain and all of us have weird [ __ ] twists and conditionings and repressions around our sexuality so that would be my guess well i was molested by multiple men as a child um and all of my most of my relationships have been a constant fight or flight mode which

(20:41) doesn’t make you want to it doesn’t put you in the mood um but when i you’re not you know you but when i am in love when i’m in that in love stage i three four times a day can’t get enough you know but once that fight or flight mode hits nobody like who thinks of sex in that time you know so that’s something that i i have always had to work through so that’s very that does resonate with me um i do have two questions on this subject one is really quick it’s um joe rogan has an episode that says

(21:14) they talk about how when we smoke weed our dreams become less vivid what are your thoughts on that so um the he was talking i think his name was matthew walker was the dude who’s on the podcast yeah and uh so what he’s talking about is legitimately biologically a fact and what’s really interesting is if you inhibit your dream life as soon as you stop doing the biochemical thing that inhibits your dream life your dream life comes back super intense yeah so what’s really interesting is like i’ve

(21:47) never tried this but this seems like it would work is that if you needed to have an intense stream to kind of get a pulse of like what your psyche is currently commenting on your conscious life purposefully smoke for two or three nights at night so you don’t dream and then when you stop smoking that fourth night your dreams are going to be super vivid and again i haven’t tried this but i think yeah well because i smoke every night to sleep and then ever i do an ayahuasca ceremony every other month so i abstain

(22:16) from smoking for almost two full weeks and so those two full weeks my dreams get super vivid and i always associate them also with what’s being stirred up for the ceremony um but it’s also because i’m abstaining from smoking for sure yeah i think it is for sure both because the anticipation of knowing that you’re going to do ayahuasca is going to charge your psyche with energy that’s going to make your dream life more intense for sure i just did one uh saturday so just talking about this makes me feel

(22:47) funny um i think i interviewed one of the two main shamans who uh work here in austin uh are we allowed to say their names on here no we can’t i don’t think that’s my shaman but yeah you can say it we can believe it if they don’t okay um i think her name is jessie something and she’s the wife of uh okay yeah my shamans were gonna interview them but um about the benefits of mupacho um but they they do ceremonies every single month every single person in the ceremony has majority of them have been doing them

(23:22) for so many years like there’s not very many newbies um and they don’t really like promote what they like they don’t really like the word doesn’t get out so um not many people know about him but they are so powerful there are times because i have done ceremonies in california as well but the ceremonies here it doesn’t matter what is going on they are so in tune with my needs and where i’m at there was a time that i was um a bird with clipped wings and i wasn’t acting like a bird or anything i

(23:54) was just sitting there and my shaman came over with bird feathers and took the clips off my wings so that i could fly and um there’s been other times it’s just crazy like i could go on and on they just they always always know they’ve even been to my house and walked in my bathroom and they had no idea that that’s where i was having a bunch of spiritual activity and said there’s a portal in your bathroom that i just walk through the spirits you’re coming in and out of like they are so freaking in tune that um

(24:24) i don’t know if i’ll go anywhere else as far as often yeah yeah but so my second question um have you read getting the love that you want no so that has a lot of um merging your subconscious and conscious it’s insane um so i’m interested your thoughts on this so they teach that you’re and i only got it from this book but your subconscious cannot differentiate yesterday from today so you confuse emotionally your primary caregiver with your lover 100 so two things here there were times that i felt so drawn to a man and

(25:10) thought feels this feels like home but he was abusive and he was violent just so many awful things well that was my childhood so of course it felt like home my subconscious chose that so that it really changed my life because it it made me realize why i’m choosing the people that i choose but also when i’m like oh that waitress just rubs me the wrong way well it could have been a babysitter that just walks the way that she does our subconscious can’t can’t differentiate but the reason why i bring it up so they

(25:41) have an exercise um that very few couples i think could handle in the back of the book there’s 12 exercises and you’re supposed to commit to doing them one once a week so you sit and i’m really curious your thoughts on this you sit um in front of your partner and you look in their eyes which is already uncomfortable enough to do that for this long you know at least for me so you sit and you tell your partner i’m 12 years old you’re always threatening to kill yourself you’re my mother you’re always starting to kill

(26:13) yourself and you say that it’s my fault and then you lock yourself in your room for three days and then when you come out you beat me and it makes me feel like i don’t deserve to live it makes me feel worthless and then your partner says i’m your mother you’re 12 years old and it and repeats it back to you and then says i’m sorry and it’s supposed to provide a healing emotionally that you really can’t like receive in other ways because your subconscious is thinking you’re getting it from your

(26:46) primary caregiver so i’ve only been able to do this with one partner but that partner would not do the next exercise that’s how intense it was and this stirred up a lot of [ __ ] yeah so you’ve got to be so vulnerable with that partner and really really want that person’s journey to you know uh advance but um we’d only been together a couple weeks when we did that exercise maybe or not yeah but what are your thoughts on on that so first off i think that that is genius i think that that is um effective and i

(27:24) think that it’s called a [ __ ] therapy it’s i i want to study that um i i will for sure get that book off of amazon the what i would offer though is basically what you have described is a step-by-step psychological ritual that you can use to call in gods and demons i’m going to use as an example they called in demons for sure and the thing is and this is the caveat that i would recommend it’s like so in ceremonial magic you know if you’re gonna call in one of the angels or one of the demons and i think

(27:58) that those are archetypes of the unconscious but that’s a different objection if you are not a powerful magician you will get destroyed and so when you do something like this if both partners aren’t super [ __ ] equipped i think it’s too powerful of a technique i think we were not equipped at the time i think it’s too effective of a technique that it’s going that is going to activate powerful powerful powerful stuff in both the people if you’re not ready to deal with what stirs up yeah exactly exactly

(28:31) and so i think that that’s a great technique to do with the therapist that you trust and that if your partner happens to be [ __ ] equipped [Music] the first thing that the first thing that you said that i think would be interesting to kind of elucidate on for the listeners and it’s kind of a young staple that kind of got me into young in psychology and it’s this idea that when you first meet someone and you just feel that feeling of oh man this person feels like home yeah young came up with this idea

(29:05) you know called the enema and the animus have you guys heard of this no it essentially is uh every human has an i has a category in their mind of the ideal romantic partner and that’s an amalgamation from um our caretaker of the opposite gender cult movies stories and the way our cognition works because a human is a human consciousness is the most complicated phenomenon in the known universe and so our conscious mind can’t understand another human it’s we are too complicated what we do is we project an

(29:45) idea of who we are onto them and we fall in love with the idea and maybe one percent of one percent of the actual person comes through the symbol that we project onto them so then comes the conflict yeah and what happens is after about six months you get see maybe five percent of that person and that’s enough to ruin your projection of quote-unquote who you thought they were which is really your internal projection and most people i’m sure you guys know people like this in your life will constantly date fall deeply in love and

(30:23) break up after six months and go find a new person they do it over and over and over yeah those are who are in love with their idea in their mind of who the other partner is and i think the real work and relationship that come when that idea starts to break down that might be after six months or eight months or ten months and it’s just it’s good to know for anyone listening if you meet one and it feels quote unquote perfect and you start making drastic life changes after a couple of weeks i have never met a couple where that

(30:55) story played out that way and it’s true they’re happy and again i’m young i’m naive but that’s what i’ve seen so just beware your projections yeah i have seen it work out for some but very few yeah um i wonder about that exercise that we brought up with the couple i wonder how effective it would be more or less if the couple was on mdma i think that that would probably be the safest way to do it yeah that’s what i was wondering too because it removes all barriers and raises empathy for sure i think

(31:38) again i think it’s such a powerful technique that both partners really need to be well equipped to do something that powerful but having mdma as a part of that especially if you know it’s a clean sourced image only way to do it yeah um there’s a non-profit organization that randomly samples mdma from across the country and they put it up on their website and it’s something like 78 of everything sold as mdma has 0 mdma in it wow in 22 only like 8 of it is pure what is that company called um i can try to find the link i don’t

(32:18) know off the top of my head but i could on instagram and you guys can put in the show notes yeah let’s do that my head yeah mdma could help it a lot yeah and just for our listeners also the book specifies that the exercises are to be done in order so the exercises that come after are extremely important for what that exercise stirs up and we didn’t move on you know but it’s important um because it does deal that next exercise does deal with what was stirred up and it’s extremely powerful if you can get through it because i did

(32:53) do them with a therapist in my 20s that’s how i found out about the book it just wasn’t as effective because my the subconscious wasn’t confusing that they’re you know but yeah um well i’m i’m just uh wondering if we should segue into psychedelics or go into more of the relationship yeah well no i was i was wanting to talk about psychedelics because we already brought up we should definitely either way either way yeah let’s get into that yeah uh what have you done what are your thoughts

(33:26) what are your experiences so i know you’ve been to spirit quest yeah that changed my [ __ ] life uh don howard is a wizard so my story with psychedelics is basically i didn’t do anything until i was 19. and i started listening to joe rogan and i think that turns on a lot of people to this idea and then i so to kind of give a preface um i thought i was the smartest [ __ ] i knew in high school just because i could argue with teachers and i was dec enough at basketball where my ego was just massive it was ridiculous i’m sure

(34:04) you guys remember the job yeah and then i started college and it college punched me in the [ __ ] mouth and it it my first semester i failed almost every class because i stopped going to classes because for the first time in my life it wasn’t easy and i kind of had like a quarter life crisis where i started smoking weed for the first time in my life and i was actually listening to a joe rogan stand up uh skit where he was talking about how we all think we’re so [ __ ] smart but if the power went out what would you do

(34:37) like me you would sit here and you’d wait because the people who keep all this [ __ ] going they know how to make this [ __ ] we don’t everyone in this room we would die if the electricity would not come back on in a week and i was just high enough where it was just like had this epiphany moment of i don’t know [ __ ] and so i started to listen to a lot of joe rogan a lot of alan watts a lot of terence mckenna and then i started yeah he’s he’s one of the ogs for sure and i did mushrooms for the first time when

(35:09) i was 19. and it just it revolutionized the way that i looked at the world [Music] and i went kind of crazy and i started doing um pretty heavy psychedelic um trip every weekend for like nine weeks were you doing them in party settings or like ceremonial settings or neither so i wasn’t partying but i didn’t have enough understanding or a community to do it in a ritual way it was basically just me uh just really trying to figure out what the [ __ ] life was so you were trying to grow not party yeah for sure um but i

(35:44) got to a point where i almost lost my mind like i i legitimately almost i think if i had had if my parents lived in the house that was that the point that i got to if they had taken me to a psychiatrist they would have said that i either had schizophrenia or some type of borderline personality disorder but i was really just trying to figure out what my mind was and how it worked and um i stopped for a while i started to read and now i micro dose but i don’t really i don’t tend to do heavy doses anymore

(36:18) because i don’t feel like i need the course correction that i think they should be used for if they’re used at all but for my lsd microdesign yeah and i can really get into that i tell that story to basically say psychedelics can be incredibly helpful if you have a huge rigid ego because what it is is kind of an ego deflator and a ego border um it makes it softer but if you have a weak ego or you already struggle with really kind of having a focused path in the world psychedelics might not be helpful they might

(36:58) introduce too much chaos into your life but how do you know if you have a big ego or not hmm if you’re you there’s people that i think ask your friends and yeah yeah a really good way no but i think that that’s a good question and it’s it’s hard to ever step outside of your life and i’ve only known an existence with a big ego so it’s hard for me to even imagine what it would be like to not have a big ego but i think if if it’s hard for you to pick a thing and then to see yourself doing the thing

(37:38) and then you do the thing psychedelics might not be the best help for you at that point in your life but there is amazing research coming out of places like john hopkins and i would recommend anyone interested in doing psychedelic use read the book how to change your mind i have them on my dream guest list i i hope you guys get that and then i will listen to that episode so i want to pick your brain more on micro dosing but i want to step back to what you said about when you were doing shrooms or lsd or whatever it was you

(38:13) were doing on a regular basis when you were a lot younger and you said your parent you know if your parents would have brought you to a psychiatrist or something they might have decided that you needed some serious uh medicine or something western medicine anyway um what made you think or what makes you think now when you look back on that even that you were so on the verge of losing your mind or that you had lost it for a moment there was there separation that was happening you’re feeling yeah i think that’s a good question so

(38:45) basically what it came down to is i had this epiphanous insight which was probably it was probably delusional but it was that no one knows like not any like nobody knows anything everything’s a guess and so whenever anyone would try to say anything to me when my friends would say i’m hungry i would say how do you know that and then i would and it was it was not some wise i was not socrates i was a broken 19 year old trying to put his brain back together and i i realized that basically who i was when i was 19 i was

(39:27) trying to be a philosopher i was trying to write philosophy i was [ __ ] insane but i thought that i could understand the entirety of the universe through logic and so i was always trying to write like the perfect logical book and um on a on a mushroom trip i realized and it wasn’t me being a genius having his own thought i was reading a book but then the inside of the book really clicked and i experienced it and it was the idea that all rationality requires an appeal to rationality to be true and basically

(40:04) what that means is that it’s a system of thought that has to refer to itself to itself and logically speaking that’s irrational that and so to to a kid who’s trying to understand the nature of the universe through rationality that broke my [ __ ] brain and i kind of had to realize that it was my grandiosity with my huge ego that i thought i could understand the world through logic and long story short um i found i i found someone that i fell in love with shortly after that and then i realized okay i can’t try to understand a woman with

(40:43) logic that’s not how life is going to unfold for me um and it kind of taught it taught me how to experience the world outside of logic you know with my heart with my intuition and honestly she her love and me trying to love her and a book called prometheus rising probably saved my brain wow that story really um i guess strikes a chord with me i feel i have some similar a similar path in and maybe even the way that this podcast we’ve decided is like set up so that we are seeking what we call you know we’re

(41:27) trying to journey into the gray like we always say because i know for me at least and i don’t think jade has ever been this way which is where she grounds me a lot of the time um i used to be very you know black or white like things needed to be one way or the other way otherwise i could wrap my brain around that and it was so uncomfortable that i had to put something i had to put it into a box somewhere and little by little life in the universe or whoever god or whoever you want to call it taught me that gray area is literally all there is and

(42:00) we’re just somewhere you know moving from one extreme to the other extreme we’re usually floating somewhere in the middle at most times in our in our life and that that’s where life happens somewhere in the middle not all the way to one extreme or the other right absolutely anyway so that story just reminds me of um actually our episode with paul selig where i i talk about like the first time my dad you know i said the first time my dad broke my heart but he told he i had all these existentials in my existential

(42:32) questions in my head at something like seventh grade something like that and i asked my dad like all these questions are popping up in my head you know why are we here what is our purpose what’s this all about like all of a sudden i had all these thoughts that never had popped up and it was super scary of course you know you’re a kid you’re trying to sort it all out and i wanted things to be in a nice neat box and my dad my atheist father said uh sorry honey i don’t have an answer like and he’s like an encyclopedia this

(43:03) dude you know the smartest dude i know and he had no answer for that and that to me was like just pushed me off a cliff like i am like what now so i had to kind of struggle around for a long time and do a lot of soul searching and seeking and all these you know go through a long list of ways i tried to put put it into a box and now we’ve come to this point where here jaden and i are with this podcast where we’re like the only answer is there is no answer let’s like expose that to the world and and ask people to become comfortable in

(43:35) being in this gray area instead of trying to box it all and make ourselves separated from each other and from our own inner selves and all those things so yeah and what’s beautiful is your dad had the capacity to tell his daughter i don’t know hmm that’s hard that’s really really important he listened to that episode actually and just the other day he texts me a little crying face and he was like he was like i’m sorry i broke your heart you know because the way i worded i still don’t know yeah he’s like still

(44:06) sorry i don’t know um psychedelics have really really um helped rewire my brain when it comes to my anxiety and depression and help me and understanding my children and my loved ones and um so i guess i have a big ego because they they really they really um i i’ve done ten um and then i’ve done a huachuma one the huachuma was just more um like chakra lighting for me and very hard opening um yeah very merging for me when it came to heart and throat and just really i felt so connected to everything and everyone but in a good

(44:48) way you know like um not it was like a very i can’t i i know you know because you’ve been to spirit quest so i know you know why i’m a little speechless also but yeah so i guess that means like you were saying i guess that means i may um have a big ego where are you at like where is your ego at well you said you had a big ego in high school you’ve done all this where do you feel like it’s at now so i think a better term instead of big would be stable i think if you have a stable ego like that because it’s not

(45:21) bad yeah if it keeps coming back then it’s it’s helpful to take something that allows you to take it off for a moment just kind of experience what it means to be sentient without the lens of an ego but to answer your question uh i still have a huge ego but i’m i’m aware of the contours of how my huge ego can express itself or at least i try to be and i try to actively do things that keep my ego in check so like a really good way to keep your ego in check is to not lie to people like we want to impress people our ego

(46:00) wants to impress people so we fib and we don’t quite say exactly what’s true and i really try to hunt out when i’m talking to someone what’s the thing that i could say that’s the most true that’s the most i don’t want to say harmful but the most um reducing to my ego as possible so if i’m talking to an attractive girl and she’s a stranger i’ll be like i feel uncomfortable right now because you’re very attractive and i can feel my neck getting hot and it just it it puts me in my place

(46:33) you know it’s just it’s it’s a confession so i think telling the truth as best as you can is a way to regulate your ego but also like work out like that puts my ego in check all the time you know because i [ __ ] work it on it and everyone there is a goddamn monster yeah you work with kyle kingsbury right and so when i work out it’s like okay i know that i’m um human i am fallible i have a lot of work to do and then i think being around people that see you i think if you have a community that really [ __ ] sees you

(47:12) they will playfully like poke at your ego and and they will let you know when your ego is over true and so to answer your question i saw a big ego but i’ve found ways to keep it in check i’ve noticed when i’ve um caught someone in a lie as silly as that sounds it’s usually centered around shame like something they were ashamed of like some deep shame um and also one of my favorite ways you said working out another favorite way of mine is ecstatic dance because there’s no choreography or go to a dance class where everyone else

(47:48) knows the choreography but you don’t like just go to a dance class where it’s not you know you at least aren’t choreographed and just freaking [ __ ] move yeah yeah i know a lot of people that won’t even dance when they go to a bar but if you go to a setting like that it’s like even more i don’t know i just feel like you’re really having to push through your ego and let go a little bit you almost get high from doing that yeah absolutely absolutely yeah completely sober you get a little mini ceremony in my opinion

(48:20) yeah especially if it’s like pirangi you know yeah it’s one of my favorite activities to it’s so weird like it has been transformative i’ve only done it twice and i’ve only done it when other people have basically made me do it but i know like it’s weird i know it’s something that i should be doing more of and i feel [ __ ] fantastic after i do it like just a sense of peace and almost like a warrior type it’s true all that i just don’t access if i’m sitting at a [ __ ] desk for

(48:49) eight hours and you somehow got a revelation in the midst of downloading for sure yeah like a like a awakening like holy hell how did i not know this before and it’s all from dancing but in um in ubud in bali the whole community of that town comes together and dances every morning from 10 to 12.

(49:10) and then they go to the the park and they play instruments and so it you can feel it in that community like for sure that’s their church you know but like yeah in this culture we are so far away from those type of medicinal community rituals that are so simple yeah it’s and it’s it is beyond my mind why do you think i think it has to do with the way our culture has evolved in the last 50 or 60 years i think world war ii really had a huge impact on how we structured our society where it turned into nuclear families go inside of a box and

(49:53) the dad leaves the box to go work for something that he’s not connected to yeah he’s gone all day mom has to take care of the kids inside of the box with no type of tribal community and then dad comes home stressed out and then they spend like an hour together eating food that makes them sick and then they go to sleep and they just repeat and i and i i personally don’t think it’s some sinister master plan made by really powerful old shitty people i think it’s the way that it’s played out and that we’re waking up like

(50:28) i i know i’m in a bubble being inside of the country that i am i know i’m in a smaller bubble being inside of austin which is a unique type of city and then i’m in an even smaller bubble being at on it inside of austin and then an even smaller bubble being around aubry and his people inside of on it inside of austin inside of the us but i do so many bubbles right but i really do believe that um this generation is [ __ ] waking up and i believe that too it feels like we’re teenagers right now like our

(51:02) awareness our consciousness is finally blooming and we’re seeing all the dark and shitty parts of our personality and we don’t want to accept it so like a teenager rebels there’s this fractioning and this anger that’s happening most visibly in politics but i have faith i think in the next 10 years there’s going to be a momentum shift and a part of me feels like i sound like an idealistic idiot but like it it feels true well i subscribe to that so yeah i got a hard segue um it’s not that hard of a segue i guess

(51:41) but what is the uh what would you say is the psychology behind people sending dick pics interesting okay that is a hard segway um we don’t like those by the way i have never sent an unsolicited dick pic let that be i think it’s two things i think well three things okay so there’s actually really interesting research around what happens or how men acquire kinks and basically when a boy has his first orgasm and this it’s more and more malleable around this than females and there’s some evolutionary

(52:30) reason that i don’t quite know but whatever the context was for a man’s first ejaculation he really it sears into his wiring that that is the thing to be turned on by and so if there was any type of voyeurism or any type of like he got caught or any type of um he did it almost as a act of aggression like that kind of just sears into his hard wiring and those men are more likely it’s my guess to send a unsolicited dick pic because there is a slight it’s not even slight it’s [ __ ] aggressive and

(53:11) i also think that a lot of so it’s hard for dudes when it comes to dating because women have evolved to basically select above or equal when it comes to what their perceived status is in the community and so the men at the bottom have almost no options and the men at the top have all the options the men at the bottom get frustrated and angry and they know they don’t stand a chance and so there’s also this act of aggression that happens okay and then there’s just some dudes who like it’s it’s not sophisticated but iq

(53:50) varies and there are just some dumb [ __ ] out there that send dick pics i think it i think that works maybe it does interesting um because mercedes and i have throughout the years especially back when i did playboy regularly get emails um you know asking i’ll pay you a thousand dollars per bone you break of mine um or i’ll pay you i’ll pay you 500 to pee on me don’t have to do anything else and it’s i want to clarify that we don’t even respond to these emails please don’t send those

(54:20) emails i wonder if i wonder if that is the same thing this is something to deal with whatever keeps me up at night when i get them because it i get i’m such an empath that i start to get in my head like what happened to this person and my friends are like jay just let them be turned on by what they’re turned on by and live your life and i can’t because i feel everything so much that i get that email and it’s my day’s gone now i can’t stop thinking about why you know so i’m interested sorry yeah

(54:51) and so there’s there’s two points of that the one point is you’re completely right like wounds created that but then also the other point of that is can we let them not have shame around the thing that helps them come you know and it’s like if they can find a woman who is into that and the thing is is that i i love the thing that joe rogan says there are enough freaks on this [ __ ] planet where they could likely find somebody now i think that’s kind of romanticized in that if i was being more honest

(55:26) i think there are women who are at a point in their life where they either have wounds or they lack the financial resources where they’re willing to do stuff like that but their soul feels eroded after they do it but the world is complicated and messy and it’s it’s kind of [ __ ] up but people who get wounded like that there’s a good chance that they won’t be sending their genes into the next generation and so like maybe that’s the cosmic balance again that’s kind of [ __ ] up yeah people who want to only see light

(55:56) and positivity and rainbows might not like that but a part of my no i do i do like that i like that um we shouldn’t i don’t like using the word should but um i do like the you shouldn’t i’m [ __ ] on myself again um yeah i do like the thought of it not having shame as long as it’s not hurting another person of course um so yeah i do like that yeah um well you get your answer mercedes yeah hard segway yeah um i think i think we did we’re good on that but that kind of brings us into dating though um sure

(56:37) and we we definitely wanted to go into that with you when it comes to wounds we brought both of those up here so um yeah how the wounds just different different types of dating maybe you can just go through with us eric different types of dating and how wounds we’ve been inherited play a part in all that yeah so the thing that i’m realizing especially being around people at on it who see who are like high-functioning people who are trying non-conventional dating styles which is you know essentially open poly stuff like that and as i’m

(57:13) starting to witness these people and how they relate to each other because i was skeptical as [ __ ] mm-hmm i still am and so um if i’m being sincere i’m above averagely capable at reading people and the human body and what people are suppressing and [ __ ] like that and i watch these people when they interact especially when they’re in a group dynamic where there’s a lot of people who are interested in sleeping with other people and they’re all in the same room and the power dynamics aren’t

(57:45) equal and i’m watching and i’m seeing [ __ ] that blows my [ __ ] mind like it’s not perfect but it is so much more than i thought humans are capable of doing and then i started to look at everyone i’ve ever known in every dating situation i’ve ever seen and like basically my aha moment the last couple of months is i don’t know anyone who knows how to date i don’t know anyone who knows how to do it honestly you’re saying that in that group you do you there’s a um it’s not perfect and so again i don’t

(58:23) think it’s anyone but they’ve helped me realize how bad everyone else i’ve ever seen is at it like we i to the people we love and it might not be huge like i’m cheating on you lies but it’s like i saw a person that [ __ ] turned me on today and i’m not going to tell you about it or the way that you’ve been the last week makes me not want to be with you but i’m going to suppress that because i want to make this work like there’s all these microlights that are happening all day and think about that

(58:57) and but what i’m seeing from the unconventional type relationships is that they have a lot more hold the [ __ ] up we have to check everything moments than people who do monogamy and what i find especially out of my friend group and i’m 27 so a lot of the people around my orbit are young and there’s a lot of naivety but what i find is that a lot of people are able to hide their wounds and their trauma inside of a monogamous relationship where they claim that they’re being you know romantic and good but they’re just

(59:32) reinforcing shitty patterns that they learn from their parents and they’re just lying like the way they talk to their best friend is not the way that they talk to the person they claim to say that all the time yeah and so basically what i’ve been trying to do is date and not lie and as a dude like that’s basically like i want to go on dates with multiple women i want to tell the women that i’m going on dates with multiple women i i do not want to lie about who i’m sleeping with and what i’m finding is

(1:00:06) girls like the idea of that at the beginning but the moment we actually start dating they want me to be monogamous with them and so i’m learning really quickly like how how that’s playing out and i’m also seeing from dating multiple people that there’s just everyone has their different wound about what they think makes them worthy of love and how they think the other needs to act in order for them to be worthy of their love and i ultimately feel like it comes down to we all have wounds that if we don’t

(1:00:40) work out in relationships and the only way you’re going to work them out is by being honest you pass them on to your kids like there’s a great quote from jung and it’s that the unlived life of the parents haunt the children i think actually the way he says it is the ghost of the parents haunt the children and so the wounds that you inherited from your mom and from your dad about how to love and wounds might be a strong word but all of us were conditioned by our parents about what was worthy of love and what was not

(1:01:09) worthy of love if we we will play those cycles out with people we date and if we don’t break those cycles by becoming aware of them and inhibiting the habitual patterns around them we will unconsciously teach our kids that that is what makes you worthy of love and i’m just trying to exercise as many of my demons as i can before i have kids yeah and so you think that dating openly helps you get that all out on a fast track almost yeah the way that i explained it to a girl last night is it feels like my potential is inside of the woods and

(1:01:47) saying the holy grail is here but i have to walk through a forest of vines and the vines have [ __ ] thorns and the thorns are going to catch on all my [ __ ] and just rip them off and she was like that’s a really graphic image it’s it’s how it feels like i don’t know what all my [ __ ] is around love and if i date one woman i ex and if i’m being honest with myself i’m good at finding the way of giving her love in the way that’s the least resistant to all my trauma but i think if i try to date multiple

(1:02:24) women and i do it honestly that there will be more thorns catching more parts of me and yeah i do feel like it’s a fast track and kind of you know i’m overly logical and so i think i’ll try this for one or i can’t imagine anything harder literally and why do you think that it like do you think that it’s why do you think we don’t want open relationships do you think it’s fear of abandonment primarily or what is it so because i don’t want to do it for sure we are evolutionarily programmed to consciously want monogamy

(1:03:02) i i think that that’s the way the research looks and then unconsciously we we don’t want to be conscious of it but unconsciously our meat suit does not want monogamy and we can find ways to process that like your dreams are a perfect example of the psyche trying to process this unconscious energy but the urge is there and i think there’s like sexuality is one of the strongest forces inside of us and it’s conducive to culture for it to be contained and we’ve developed 500 years of a container and the container

(1:03:42) is monogamy we got it from the catholic church it’s stable but i don’t think it’s what the human psyche wants and i do think the core i think the core resistance to open is the fear of abandonment but there’s also this i think it’s a part of our dysfunction around love we think that if it’s true love no one else should give their genitals pleasure and they shouldn’t want it that if it’s true love they won’t even want it and i just think that that’s a i i think it’s a lie

(1:04:16) about human nature or emotionally though like if it’s true love you don’t really need and you know what i mean like you don’t really need to go outside to find more romantic fulfillment maybe and so i think that that’s the story that we’ve been given by disney and and you know all the disney myths are really tamed versions of older myths that none of them play out that sweetly um and i think that it’s tough and honestly if i’m being if i’m putting on my scientist hat for a moment and not my

(1:04:57) spiritual growth hat i think that there are people who seem to be genetically wired to be able to handle and thrive in a monogamous relationship and if that is what fits your dna do it and i think that mine actually is wired like that but i want to choose it out of calm knowing and not out of fear and i think that i’m at a point in my life where if i chose it it would be out of fear and so i’m trying to consciously do this so that when i get to a point in my early 30s that i can choose it out of a calm knowing that this is what

(1:05:33) i want rather than this is what i think i can handle the other thing is too scary i guess it does come down to fear and then there are couples that i do know um that i would say they they probably feel content in their monogamy like they don’t they’re fine the way that it is i know for me one relationship is so much [ __ ] work and hard right and that’s the next thing i was gonna say yeah it’s just like open is a full-time [ __ ] job on top of whatever your job is that’s to me like i’m i’m nowhere near born in my

(1:06:07) life yeah i am nowhere near like there’s not even a second where i’m not like running at a million miles per hour right now so i it’s just my brain’s like [ __ ] up you’re not going to try and do some [ __ ] like that right now to me i know if you have time for another woman like i need help yeah yeah like get to work i don’t know it’s just for sure and i think that’s i think that that’s a very good rebuttal and it comes down to why are you alive what are you trying to do and if your highest goal is spiritual

(1:06:41) growth i highly recommend entertaining the idea of open relationship but if your highest ideal is like i want to create an amazing thing in the world that will help people after i die so that’s like a creative project it’s probably not conducive to your creative output to have multiple partners that you have to juggle so i think it comes down to what type of person are you i think you have to experiment to find out what that answer is and it’s what do you want to do in the world and if what you want to do in the world is to

(1:07:14) write 10 books probably don’t have two wives but if your highest ideal in the world is i want to strip away all the [ __ ] on the outer surface of my soul so i can see what the human potential can be but i’m not trying to run a company i’m not trying to write a book i’m not trying to raise a family maybe try open well again you know i do feel that first question but it makes me like obsessed with psychedelics but go ahead mercedes so as my form of open relationships as we talked about before with gray area i

(1:07:46) feel like where we kind of are currently where jade and i live our lives in monogamous relationships and that’s kind of been our deal um when i look at like monastic living like a monk who who abs abstains from all kinds of any kind of sexual activity even self-pleasure and does probably just as hard yeah that’s what i’m saying so it’s one extreme to the other so yeah it’s an interesting thing that you’re saying that this is how you seek your most spiritual self you know you you unpack all those bags

(1:08:21) by going into the chaos essentially and on the side it’s like seeking so much peace that you have quiet enough to hear your thought you know hear your spirituality or let it rise or whatever it is so i i don’t know i just thought that was interesting because monk would say well that’s the exact opposite of what i’m trying to do right but they’re seeking the same thing that you’re saying you’re seeking with it yeah so what’s your number one advice though for someone who does choose monogamy but

(1:08:48) still wants that same thing that same um type of growth yeah and honesty in their relationship good question then i think you just touched on it i think create relationship rituals that allow you to be more honest than you are when you’re in your day-to-day life like every single person listening to this right now if they’re honest there is something today that they know was complete truth that they did not say and they maybe said 90 of the truth or 80 of the truth or 50 of the truth or avoided the whole

(1:09:25) thing altogether because they didn’t want to have the fight or the argument and i think if you create a ritual like every sunday go out to the park and we’ll sit down and it’s radical truth time for one hour you know like if you create some type of intentional practice around being radically [ __ ] honest that you are a finite human organism trying to understand how the [ __ ] to live and you’re embedded in infinity and you don’t know what the [ __ ] is going on and you want to try to figure out how to do this with your

(1:09:56) partner be as honest as you possibly can and on top of that maybe once a month like i don’t know if there’s a better bonding ritual on the planet than doing a heavy dose of psychedelics with the person you love i know but i’m biased i know but that’s not it’s not the norm it’s not it’s hard to find people it it’s hard enough you know for one person to want to do it it’s hard to find like two you know yeah so it’s not the norm for couples right now i feel a lot of people are afraid of even plain

(1:10:33) therapy for sure and i think it comes down to if you’re yourself yeah like really before he goes on let’s just make sure that’s settled oh she just got a new she rescued a pit bull daisy i’ve been falling more and more in love with pimples lately i feel like i’m going to get a dog it’s going to be a pimple yeah never thought i’d get a pit bull and then when i saw her i was like oh dear god oh dear dog okay i don’t know how to pick up where we were um so it comes down to if you are honest

(1:11:16) and in truth if you do psychedelics i can’t see how the person that you love would not end up doing it don’t try to make them just genuinely share your passion and your insights and don’t let them contain you from doing what you want to do and i just can’t see how they wouldn’t like when i have a good psychedelic trip the aura that i give off to the people that i love like i i don’t have any friend who isn’t like how did you how are you like this right now and then i agree with that i agree

(1:11:51) with that but i think that some people know that when they’re gonna do psychedelics they’re gonna have to confront stuff and they’re not ready for that yeah and that’s what i i have run into with people so my truth is if i’m with someone that doesn’t want to grow i i’m not going to be in a monogamous relationship with them period will you be you’d still be in a relationship at some some level of a relationship with them the way that so what happens with well it’s interesting but what i have found

(1:12:27) is that as i’m more on my trajectory like people fall in and out of your life and i guess a better way to say it is i i will not consciously try to give them my energy and my time and so likely what would happen is there wouldn’t be a bond but i think i think what’s going to happen is i’m going to try open for a couple of years and then i’m going to commit to a monogamous relationship and for me personally i could not be monogamous with someone who actively knows that there’s work to do

(1:12:57) in their life and they’re choosing not to look at it that would just oh yeah and it’s the frustrating i i couldn’t do it that wouldn’t be tough i wanted to just mention back to when you brought up um a good way to go about having growth within your relationship uh the rituals yeah the the ritual of having like a what do you call it date night or whatever you want to call it and making sure you’re having this really truthful talk with somebody that i just want to mention that having a sober setting and not saying

(1:13:30) sober like you don’t do any drugs or anything like that but a sober setting emotionally you know is super important because i know you said it’s important to say things honestly and when they come up try to get you know through them with your partner and hope that they’re open to that but sometimes we think we need to get this thing off our chest because it’s coming up now and we’re in the situation and we want to talk about it now because it’s here and like look at it and that is not always

(1:13:55) and usually isn’t actually a sober setting so it’s sometimes i just need sleep and then i change my mind totally or like for women i mean i’m you know how i feel about the hormone cycle and a lot so a lot of the time it has to just do with where you are chemically in the month you know especially and males have their own cycles too so taking all those things into consideration find out when your most mentally emotionally sober setting would be for you as a couple whether it be weekly or monthly or

(1:14:23) however often you’re going to do this thing but i think that’s important to note especially if it’s someone who doesn’t want to you know get into the psychedelic side of things with their partner for whatever reason that’s what i was going to ask you do you have an idea for a ritual for i’m sure a lot of our listeners don’t do psychedelics um or have a partner that doesn’t right you know isn’t in that place yet um what would your advice to them be i think the most powerful and maybe most

(1:14:52) underrated self-development technique out there is journaling and i think amen so most of us lie to ourselves about ourselves in our head every day all day i think the start of all of this [ __ ] is being honest with yourself and if you can start to journal and you bring to it a type of like radical like god is watching me on the page i commit to being honest and then you just start thinking on the page like that is the place that i would recommend people start especially if they don’t want to look at psychedelics like recognize that you

(1:15:37) don’t know yourself and that you lie to yourself about yourself and that if you begin a genuine a genuine journey of trying to be honest with yourself through your journal you will you will see your life transform in the next six months if you do it every day and no one has to give you any direction just cultivating being honest with yourself and then it it will seep into your into your relationships like a lot of the arguments that we have with people we love stem from the fact that we’re both lying to ourselves about

(1:16:12) things that if we just admitted like i don’t feel safe with how close you are to your friends i don’t feel like i’m seen like if you just were able to articulate that to yourself first on the page and then just admit it like it’s totally disarming but if you if you’re not true with yourself you’ll be like you don’t ever give me attention you’re always going out and that puts them on the defensive and it doesn’t work right yeah i think that type of outrageous openness that putting words on a page allows you to

(1:16:46) look at it like a reflection of your true self right like your your truest self anyway for sure super important yeah it’s one of our most untapped tools so i feel like before we move off of this i think that people when it comes to journaling because that’s one of the things we recommend most i guess on this show this far that’s part of my magic trick today yeah and my one my magic trick is how to figure out who you are really um which is basically you could do that by journaling right if you made that a

(1:17:19) practice in your life but i think people don’t know how to journal like that even just the word journaling sounds weird but it’s true yeah it seems so silly because we all do it maybe but the i think they don’t like the idea of pen to paper but you could uh use the notes section in your phone you know like i think there’s just so many i think it’s because when you put words on something that you have to visually see it’s a reflection and they don’t want to see it and it’s it’s work it’s

(1:17:47) not the work of putting the pen to paper or typing into your phone it’s the work of looking at what you wrote and especially when it’s just like mine you know just mind to paper where you’re not even thinking about what you’re writing when you look back on that and that’s the best way to do it yeah just [ __ ] no sensor yeah yeah it’s good where my most most growth happens on the page for sure for me and anytime i’m like super angry i go that’s where i go straight to doing either i go for a walk and then journal

(1:18:16) or vice versa yeah if i’m ever overwhelmed i journal if i ever don’t know what to do i journal if i ever feel like i just did something that i didn’t like the way that i handled it i journal i i truly think you probably get a lot of answers absolutely like what i tell people is like if i don’t know what to do if i genuinely journal i never have gotten to the end of the page and did not know what to do ever even if it’s just you’re putting it on the page like just a question what do i want i don’t know literally

(1:18:47) those words what do i want like just saying that out loud speaking it out loud putting it on a piece of paper putting it somewhere and allowing it to live there is better than holding it in you and the uncomfortable [ __ ] that we all live in every day just letting it all stir around be chaotic i love the idea of how to be more honest with our partners i wonder how we can get our partners to accept that honesty because it’s probably going to be sometimes things they don’t want to deal with want to hear sounds

(1:19:20) like we’re just bringing up an issue that doesn’t need to be brought up you know so that’s another thing i think that is a kink there but i still love the idea of being honest the first thing that i would offer is to try to set like it’s you can’t go back in time but when you first start to meet someone be like set your intention for the relationship like why are we about to do this yeah and my answer is like i want to grow and i think being with you will allow me to grow in a way that i could not grow

(1:19:56) without you but my dedication my intent for the relationship is to grow and if you have a partner who says yes to that then that’s the the container has already been agreed upon we are going to share truth with each other now if you haven’t had that talk you can you know have that talk be like hey i want to talk to you about something it might feel like it’s a big deal but like i’m not mad or anything i just want to you know i heard this awesome podcast and i feel like it’s my magic hour and i just wanted to you know

(1:20:27) share with you that we’ve never set an intention for our relationship but i would really like to set the intent for us to as close as we can to our highest best self what do you want as i really love that yeah i was gonna say when you know i don’t i’d like to know your thoughts on marriage as a contract um because we are such evolving people when we call it here on the show we call it we’re always creating our liquid truth right this truth that is consistently changing because that’s just how with every guest

(1:21:06) today um so in a marriage you’re committing to somebody for the rest of your life in the way that we do it in our culture right um for sure and yes you can put together that idea and say hey i want to make sure that we’re both on the same path and we both are just wanting to grow and and stay on the path together but we know that life happens and sometimes people decide to stay stagnant or one you know we go in different directions or whatever it is what are your thoughts on getting into a contract like marriage

(1:21:36) so my first response is i’m a hypocrite if i talk or try to give advice about marriage because you know i obviously do not know the trials and tribulations of how hard that would be but as someone who would like to do it one day the way that i’m going to approach it is basically i’m going to get really weird i’m going to study the history of marriage and how it came about and like what the symbolic and jungian aspects of what a marriage is and what it represents and it really seems to be like

(1:22:07) in the face of infinity that we have no idea what is going to happen i declare to you to bind my soul to yours and to see how the [ __ ] this is going to unfold and like i bow before this thing that is greater than you or me it’s the idea of this marriage and then the vows would be like us having like a ritualistic ceremonial bonding where we both share what our intentions are you know it’s weird like it seems to be in our culture what we tend to do with our vows is to talk about the past with a partner

(1:22:46) you know and i’m just having this thought now but it’s like i would want to talk about the future with the partner about like what i hope this bond would help manifest and that i kneel before the marriage itself not you and not me but the marriage itself so that’s the romantic part of me the scientific part of me would be like we are an evolving dynamic liquid truth and we might our truth in four years might be that we are not with each other and so to have the bond in a way where it implies for the rest

(1:23:35) of our life it seems like the egos attempt to try to put a boundary around a hurricane you know like i have no idea what this is going to look like in four years but what i commit to you is to be in truth with you yeah like i’m going to do my best to be in truth with you and maybe that means four years from now i’m weeping as i look you in the eye and say i’m not in love with you anymore and but i’ve never been married i don’t know uh that’s my best hypothesis on how i would approach marriage yeah i think

(1:24:10) i think it’s beautifully said just asking the other person to be in truth with you instead of putting whatever the context that our current culture puts on the word marriage yeah that’s it’s a little bit tricky it’s a little bit tricky the way we do it now right yeah and i i think what i’ll probably do is uh with the partner that i choose to get married to we will we will write up our own marriage contracts like it’s like we will as a couple define what we mean by marriage and then those are the agreements that

(1:24:49) we’re going to agree to not the ones that are kind of passed down by culture and by movies do you think that then i mean is there a point to getting legally married or is it more just you’re writing a con you know you’re just making a promise out loud or putting it on paper to somebody i think there is so we are symbolic creatures and like our symbolic function is something that we had as homo sapiens before we had language and i do think that there’s something deeply powerful about the symbol about the

(1:25:19) symbology around marriage and i think there’s a symbolic magic to law that we don’t quite comprehend that um you know this is the youngin in me that i would legally get married as a testament to the power of this bond but as far as whatever the legal implications are of being married i haven’t done enough research to really know exactly what those are it seems like what would probably happen with me is i would have a non-legal us marriage but that we would basically do all the symbolic ritual around marriage

(1:26:04) and um go from there you know again i don’t really know i’ll probably talk to lawyers when i get to that point in my life should i do this you know yeah way forward is but i know that we would probably have the ritual have the ceremony have the actual altar experience probably those mushrooms on that day both of us and you know just see where it goes yeah just to have the it’s such a human experience too like just have that in your time here yeah so maybe back to micro dosing i know we’re jumping around

(1:26:40) a little bit here but um what are the questions you get asked most when it comes to micro dosing so the question i get asked the most is where can i find it and i tell people don’t ask me yeah so and that’s the one that i will you know try to answer first because i think it’s the most important i think if you want to find lsd or mushrooms mushrooms are really easy to find in the sense that if you see them you know that they’re mushrooms well if they’re psychedelic mushrooms you get them from a dealer it’s it’s almost

(1:27:14) certainly mushrooms but with lsd you have to test your [ __ ] and it’s hard to find a clean lsd a lot of people think they have lsd but what they’re ingesting are research chemicals and it’s uh the street name for it are called n-bombs and basically those things can kill you you don’t want to [ __ ] with those but you can buy a regent test online for 20 bucks that can test lsd and the advice i give to people is study microdosing there’s two books i would recommend there’s the psychedelics

(1:27:46) explorer guide written by james feideman who’s the main researcher on micro dosing and then there’s how to change your mind michael pollan i would recommend that and basically like study this stuff and then just talk about what you’re interested with people like go do things in your community and talk about how interested you are in it and i have faith that if you live in any of the major cities in the us you will find somebody within a couple of months and then when you find someone test it it sucks that it’s illegal and that we

(1:28:16) have to go through all this [ __ ] but that’s kind of the main question i get and then the other question i get is so what’s it like and i’ve been doing it for about a year now and i [ __ ] love it i used to take adderall at least once a week and read for eight hours a day and i thought that i needed to do that but once i started micro dosing i haven’t done how to roll in like four or five months but basically i feel like especially because i’m masculine and i have a really rational psyche that it helps me a lot because it

(1:28:50) it makes me feel my feelings more strongly it kind of um makes the rigidity of my ego just slightly less rigid um i’m able to get into flow at work better i feel like my conversations are better like they just kind of flow more freely i’m able to read people a lot better but on the flip side of that like the if if you’re easily overwhelmed by the energy of other people like if you’re an empath microdosing might not be a great idea because it’s going to make that stronger like so yeah i i’ve microdosed

(1:29:25) toes twice and i can say that i do relate to that part the good thing about it is i felt very detached from any um no i felt very detached from any um physical thing like nothing really uh felt permanent the way the way we kind of should feel you know about um superficial things or material things so that was awesome um i was at the mma awards and my dress didn’t arrive and it was like a few hours before but i was micro dosing so i was like doesn’t matter honestly it doesn’t matter you know and what’s interesting is

(1:30:04) something that i’ve been hearing from women in my life that i’ve um talked about micro dosing to it actually seems to really help with cramps that you get when you’re menstruating or yeah that it it seems to really um i don’t know what the mechanism that is being worked on in the body but i know a lot of women now that when they start their period they’ll micro dose on the like on the first day and it really helps their symptoms also what i find is that women who micro dose their horniness goes way up

(1:30:37) and i and i just think that it basically it comes down to lsd seems to the way it’s described is a non-specific amplifier of whatever is happening in the psyche and so for me if i do lsd i’m able to do the work that i want to do for [ __ ] eight hours um if you’re at a job that you don’t that you’re not super engaged in or if you’re like a partner that i’m seeing she took some lsd the other day and she was at home alone cleaning and she just ended up masturbating four times you know in the course of four hours and

(1:31:09) like what was weird is she kind of had like a aha insight that she was sexually repressed and that she’s been inhibiting you know her sexuality for years blah blah but basically it’s a non-specific amplifier so whatever your [ __ ] is it makes it louder like i had one friend who started microdosing who was chronically not getting eight hours of sleep and her urge to sleep to nap just got tired and so i think it’s it’s really interesting that right and it’s it’s really unique to the individual i

(1:31:45) think the best way to describe it is it will kind of make your ego a little bit less rigid so the signs and the um signals coming from your body and your unconscious are louder so that means you have to sleep you have to sleep if that means you have to [ __ ] you’re going to want to [ __ ] if that means that you’re going to work and you want to work you work more i wouldn’t sorry i was waiting for her to vote i wouldn’t know but i hear that um sorry i wouldn’t know i wouldn’t she wants up on the bed and

(1:32:19) her back like go i wouldn’t know but i hear that um sex on lsd is amazing i can confirm yeah i cannot say i hear that it’s like just multiple multiple multiple orgasms i think it comes down to okay so this might be controversial but most men aren’t very empathetic in the bedroom they’re just not um they’re either selfish or stupid and stupid is probably too harsh of a word they’re just coming from a man you guys listening to the woman’s body and the thing about microdosing and any psychedelic really

(1:32:58) is it just it makes the the ability to read a human body just goes way up and um if you’re in love with the person that you’re taking a psychedelic with that that passion just it becomes huge but if there’s any [ __ ] between the two of you and you two plan on taking mushrooms or lsd and having sex it might be the worst experience of your life yeah yeah i haven’t done it in that setting yet i’ve only done mdma in that setting and um it was what we needed was to hash out some stuff so that’s what happened we didn’t

(1:33:37) ever experience sexual things in any of those uh situations because it wasn’t what we needed most but yeah um so you said that if you have a question relating to this go ahead no go ahead i was gonna move us off so we um you said that you’re really good at reading people and especially on what they’re suppressing you’ve been talking to us for an hour and a half now so i’d like for if you are able to i’d like for you to tell us what in your opinion each of us are suppressing if you’ve picked up on that

(1:34:07) at all for sure so completely honest we don’t yeah we don’t care what our listeners here we’re really open and we have editing power so to be completely honest the truth is that um i have not said anything yet where i saw any micro expression on either of you where it felt like you guys were resistant to it so the answer is i don’t know we’re just okay we’re so radically open right now well it probably is because um i can only see what is being shown on the screen but basically like people’s

(1:34:47) bodies they don’t realize it but their bodies say so much like where their feet are pointing where their heart is pointing where their knees are pointing what they do with their limbs when they’re saying certain things and when other persons are saying certain things um but to be honest if i tried to give an answer it would be me forcing something for the audience i i don’t know no that’s fine yeah okay it’s an easier answer than i expected it he was going to stir some [ __ ] up okay so we have a question from the

(1:35:21) magic mob which is our tribe of listeners and it’s mrs v dubs on instagram asks what is your what is your favorite plant medicine and why and has that changed over the years that’s her first question and they’re both good yeah my favorite plant medicine for a long time was mushrooms just nothing could compare um and then now my favorite plant medicine i can’t believe i’m going to say this is making my eye twitch is i did vilca when i went to oh dear god yeah through the thousand-year-old finger yes

(1:36:06) so vilka is it’s the most potent form of the most potent psychedelic known to man and it’s indescribable and it was the hardest experience i’ve ever had but the reason i say it’s my favorite is that my rational mind and my e are so capable of containing my experiences that i have with psychedelics that i’m still able to maintain my rationalistic materialistic interpretation of the universe but vilka [ __ ] obliterated that for an hour and i feel like if i’m ever going to move beyond how i currently see the

(1:36:51) world either insane doses of mushrooms or vilca are going to be my way of um going beyond what i know right now and so even though it was the least pleasant plant medicine i’ve ever experienced i would say you basically die right it’s how you feel it’s it felt like i it’s it’s ineffable but if i had to be if i had to try to describe it it did feel like i died and then i came back um i have never um talked to someone about velka that made me want to do it your description is the first time i was

(1:37:31) like oh okay because normally they just say it’s ayahuasca on steroids and i’m like well yeah yeah that’s not i’m good with ayahuasca but that’s the first time i’ve heard someone describe it where i’m like oh okay i’ll i’d be okay with that then the mercedes over you guys i was just going to ask you to explain what is vilca where does it come from and how does how do you take it sure so vilka is dmt but it’s the most potent form of dmt and dmt is basically the most potent type of

(1:38:05) psychedelic and it’s something that the body produces on its own but it produces in such a small amount and is metabolized so quickly that we don’t really experience it there are hypotheses that it’s the thing that allows us to have our dream state and it’s also something that’s produced during near-death experiences like the brains trying to um make itself feel better in the face of death and so it releases all of this dmt and then allows you to kind of have a near-death experience where you know maybe the evolutionary

(1:38:36) hypothesis to that is it’s the brain’s trying to use every piece of its remaining resources to try to solve the problem but um vilka comes from the outer edge of two different seeds in the amazon forest and you grind it into a powder and you store it and it’s very uncomfortable it burns and then you have about five minutes to get to a dark room to lay down on a bed and then you lose complete you are completely divorced from reality you do not understand what room you’re in you don’t understand

(1:39:14) you can’t feel terrifying it truly is terrifying like i wonder how we found this yeah like who did this the first time and what did they you know so the um the romantic in me the romantic idea is that the people were so in tuned with the forest and that they say that the forest told them these the evolutionary psychologists in me says basically if you watch how monkeys explore new areas they will go on the ground and they’ll find anything that they can pick up and they’ll put it in their mouth and they’ll just move it around their mouth

(1:39:51) they won’t actually eat it and they’ll spit it out and so our evolutionary ancestors over you know hundreds of thousands of years ago explored the jungle and they eventually found something that made them kind of feel weird and then they tried it in higher doses and higher doses and then amazing things um before we ask our her next question because it is really good um have you because you have done psychedelic so much have you um noticed that the way you maybe see or hear things when you’re sober have shifted a little bit at all or no

(1:40:25) okay because i i thought i was crazy i am okay good my the way it’s it’s so hard i can’t step out of my own brain but like the way i experience the world is [ __ ] weird and it’s not the way i experienced the world when i was 19. but i meant physically like the way you maybe see shadows sometimes now or the way you maybe hear a frequency sometimes now have you after done i think i have it with auditory stuff but i do think um it’s it’s hard to explain but and it’s not a flashback but i do have moments

(1:41:04) where like i’ll see a tree and it looks how a tree looked on mushrooms and it completely changes the vibe of my whole day and then sometimes i will see lights like i see lights all the time for sure i have a thing that happens now where maybe once a month it’s like my entire field of vision looks like it’s glittering and a part of me is like what do you think that is because i see bright lights in my in my room and i’m like is someone have a flashlight in my living room shining into my room like

(1:41:37) what what is it that’s causing that so in our wheel is it gonna get more intense or so this is kind of an intense idea but like if you think about the structure of our psyche the way jung saw it is it’s essentially like the ego is this super super small glass cube at the bottom of an ocean and the entire ocean is your unconscious mind and there’s animals and forces and gods and monsters just moving around that thing and your tiny little glass cube is your conscious mind when the borders of the glass are strong

(1:42:19) it keeps out the water and all the creatures when you do ayahuasca every other month or every month the borders of your glass cube are they don’t have cracks but they’re like this gel like thing that can let in water and can let in creatures and i i don’t think that they’re aliens i don’t think that they come outside of the human psyche but they feel like they come outside of the human psyche because we conflate our conscious mind with the entire psyche and so i think you’re just becoming more aware

(1:42:58) of parts of your cognition that are meant to be unconscious and so if you think about what interest is there’s an ancient greek idea that hermes was the god of interest and basically he’s he he would be a light a thing of light that would draw your attention towards an object so in someone who’s not ever done a psychedelic if they hear something in the room oh this actually makes me think of something that i’m about to share it um but if they hear something in the room it’s like your brain knows it wants to

(1:43:33) look towards that sound before you even look and then you look my guess is that if you do enough psychedelics it’s almost like you’re actively manifesting the symbol of attention light before you look and then you see it but this because the light’s actually there then in you yeah i think it’s a symbol in the psyche that’s representing a cognitive function that most of us don’t even perceive because it’s actually more useful if it’s not conscious i think but you’re doing so much work that you’re starting

(1:44:09) to see pieces of your unconscious cognitive apparatus and the way that we experience it is through symbols so like light but this made me think of something really interesting i have this thing that happens now that if i’m falling asleep and i hear a sudden sound i will see in my closed eyes visions it’s all black or whatever and then i’ll see like a jagged like just a whole bunch of jags and it’s like the sound startled my mind and made me alert for a moment and i could see it’s so hard to explain but like i can

(1:44:50) see a pattern of jaggedness like you can see the sound or see the vibration of the sound right yeah yeah and i did not have that before i did psychedelics and this is actually my video i know i know i mean i don’t mind it it’s just uncomfortable at times when i’m about to fall asleep and all of a sudden i’m seeing this certain colored light and the way my boulder psychic institute teaches it is that it’s a spirit guide trying to get you to be open to communicating with them and i’m essentially

(1:45:22) using different language to explain what i think is the same thing i think that the it’s so you’ve clarified it by explaining that it’s something that happens as you’re trying to fall asleep and and that’s the that is our conscious state where our ego border is the most permeable and stuff starts to come through and we all have an ocean of an unconscious that is trying to talk to us that our ego really wants to not be talked to but then we put our guards down exactly and that in between state is

(1:45:57) when we’re the most like if you notice almost all alien stories happen at night when someone is either about to fall asleep or they just woke up a lot of people’s like horror stories about monsters is that at night and it’s when our consciousness is the least or it’s the most open to the fantasies and the thing in the unconscious that creates dreams and it can come through while we’re still conscious yeah we’re like on our way to the astral planes so glad we’re recording this at the end

(1:46:33) yeah we will probably all have interesting dreams right well she did have a second question that was really good yeah she asked what is your single most valuable daily habit hmm so the joke’s jeremy would say breathing but that’s awesome that is important um good i think so my core habit right now is reading jung i try to read for an hour every day it’s the first thing that i do but my most crucial habit has changed i think the most crucial habit that i picked up that was the catalyst for me transforming my life was journaling i

(1:47:15) i got the artist’s way have you guys heard of this book yeah it [ __ ] changed my goddamn life i can’t give it enough credit but i did that on my shelf but i haven’t read it i have the journal that you fill out with the journal of the artist’s way you know yeah and i journaled every day three pages even if i didn’t [ __ ] want to uh for like three months and it just it radically changed my psyche like it’s amazing i can’t over exaggerate it and this is going to sound like an exaggeration but

(1:47:53) not to us um when i started the artist’s way i was an atheist when i ended the artist’s way i believed in god i love that it’s you’re not i don’t think you’re over exaggerating i love uh and i have a very unique personal interpretation of what i think god is and how that functions in my life but i found my path to god through the arts way so basically what i was doing if i’m being clearly honest um i would read the artists i would read a chapter of the artist’s way each sunday i would take adderall and this is

(1:48:31) probably not a great strategy like we’re not recommending no uh do not recommend but then after i would read the chapter i would do all the homework assignments first i would journal before i read the artist’s way i would do that without adderall and then i would read the chapter and i wouldn’t take it at all yet and then after i’m done reading the chapter i would take adderall but then i would read jung and i would read jung like it was the bible and i did the journaling like it was my sacred practice i did it every sunday

(1:49:01) and um by the end of that book i would read a chapter a week i think there’s 16 chapters i found my god and it has completely changed my life interesting so what is your interpretation of what god is yeah all right um where to start okay i think everyone i think it’s a human archetype which is basically a category of the human mind that all humans have that we have an idea of our potential about the man or the woman that we know we could be if we did everything that we know we should and we stopped doing everything that we

(1:49:42) know we shouldn’t everyone listening intuitively knows who they could be and i think who we could be i choose to believe that who i could be is a real entity that exists outside of time that is watching me that judges me that wants me to become him that sends me whispers through my intuition and i have to sacrifice all the pieces of my ego that are childish and not serving to what my potential is to become him and i think that that is our connection to whatever god is whatever god is beyond that we can’t comprehend but that’s the

(1:50:27) closest that we can get to understanding and that’s the last two chapters of the road less traveled that god ultimately wants us to become him right um sounds like a rad video game and i that that might be what this is mm-hmm yeah you’re you’re creating your own simulation for yourself that you somehow the end of end goal is just looping back into this ever never-ending infinite cycle of you which is you which is god yeah i’m trying to become who i could be which is my potential and i think that’s my god and that’s the thing that

(1:51:08) i imagine is watching me when i journal so i try to be as honest as he can be because he already knows my [ __ ] you know and it’s weird like it’s not this old dude in the sky it’s it’s who i could be yes it’s who i could become do you witness that in other people or anywhere else externally like in the sunset or you know you know watching a flower or whatever it is yeah it’s it’s it’s hard to explain but uh my understanding of reality is and this is coming from a cognitive psychological

(1:51:40) standpoint is that i i i don’t think the human apparatus is equipped to perceive objective reality that the that what all of us are doing is our unconscious that has evolved over millions of years is interpreting an objective reality that we can’t perceive and it’s doing this unconsciously and it’s generating inside of us a simulation that’s close enough to reality that allows us to basically fight and [ __ ] and run away from danger so we’re interfacing with an objective reality like if you walk in front of a

(1:52:13) bus the bus will kill you but what the bus is is not objective reality the bus is actually a swirl of that we can’t perceive that my evolutionarily programmed meet suit turns into a symbol that seems like cubish and that moves at a certain speed and so i can watch the sunset and cry and i feel my god in that thing you know i can listen to a piece of music and feel this thing that gets stirred inside of me and it feels like divinity but i feel like it’s coming from within if that makes sense yeah where do you

(1:52:58) where do you feel god or your inner self or however you want to describe that god thing where do you feel that the most like when does that come up the most for you in life and you know you can go there so my non-psychedelic answer would be um a really good song a sunset for sure being in a genuine conversation in person with someone i love you i love that genuine like it’s in their eyes yeah it’s it’s one of the greatest pleasures i think of life it’s just like there’s no goal of the conversation you’re just

(1:53:44) genuinely being with them yeah i felt my heart move when you said when you said that one do you think it like it’s been a long time do you think that has to be a conversation that’s where you feel like-minded where you feel like in sync in that way or can it be a debate in any regard oh i for sure feel like it can be a debate and i think that it it comes down to like a tonality like some of the best foreplay i’ve ever had has been debated yeah and there for sure are some debates where it’s like i [ __ ] can’t stand

(1:54:18) this human i don’t want to be around them i think it’s this sense of um being seen and then seeing them and then there’s just this either if it’s a debate there’s this like playful like we’re just dancing and then if it’s not a debate and it’s kind of a deep conversation it’s just like i don’t know what the [ __ ] is going on i know you don’t know but we’re just gonna talk you know and yeah and then when it comes to psychedelics just give me a full dose of lsd or mushrooms

(1:54:54) and let me go on a walk outside and i will feel god [Music] i love that your your most valuable daily habits i the reading and the journaling every morning it was every morning for me until this podcast started and now i’m just trying to catch my breath so sure i need to get back on that for sure um well we also have a pick your poison um from our magic mob i’m thinking the second question what are you thinking um we had two options for you yeah you let me read them both too you pick which one you want and then you choose oh

(1:55:30) you’re cool don’t answer both just pick one all right would you rather have someone secretly give you lsd on a random day once every six months or have everyone in the world all take lsd at the same time once every five years that’s the first question okay first pick your poison the second pick your poison would you rather be the first person to explore a planet or be the inventor of a drug that cures a deadly disease first one is obviously more applicable to this okay the first one is way harder to answer and the second

(1:56:05) one is way easier to answer so i think i’ll pick the first one okay okay so i would personally hate to be given lsd and not know yeah i think that that’s probably one of the i i don’t want to say evil but i think it’s one it’s one of the most damaging things i think you can do to someone is to give them a full dose of a psychedelic enough yeah i think they’re so dark but i also think it’s incredibly irresponsible to give the whole world lsd because like that sounds like the purge that means

(1:56:44) everything like there are lots of people that can’t handle it so i think i would go with option a where i would be dosed once every six months without knowing it very kind of martyr but i think you know um god willing i think i have the tools that no trip would be a bad trip it would just be a really hard trip and i think um whatever in my life i needed to confront at that point that i’ve been finding coping strategies and defense mechanisms around not facing it would come up and then i’d [ __ ] deal with it

(1:57:21) i don’t know if that would have been my answer had you not said it but as you said it my mind kept screaming yes so that’s my answer too what about you mercedes oh that is like i do not think i have the coping skills to let that [ __ ] hit me every six months just unknowingly but i agree with some of the things you said there eric the way my mind goes wraps around that idea is that i would eventually become like i would hopefully i would become prepared somehow to handle what comes with that every six months because it’s

(1:58:03) happening continuously my brain would i’m hoping that my brain is you know figures it out how to integrate it quickly and figure out you know we’re we’re on lsd again you know like after the first time first time’s gonna [ __ ] suck right but after that every time it comes up it’s like okay this is what’s happening today my plans are over here’s whatever every six months for the month so i’ll probably go with the first option too and there’s also a few questions we like to ask everyone at the end of our show

(1:58:35) um the first one is what advice would you give to your 25 year old self it’s crazy that’s only two years ago i would say uh just you’re making us feel so old i would say tell the [ __ ] truth i love that easy enough all right next question did you did you feel like that wasn’t the case really do you feel like you i feel like only in the last year have i made it a has my highest conscious ideal to tell the truth i think all of us have evolved to want to believe that we’re honest but as you develop self-awareness you

(1:59:20) recognize every day you lie in some type of way and you can be lined by not saying a thing like a thing that you it’s weird the way that i define line is that all of us have a thing inside of us that whispers to us like what the best move for us to do in this moment if we were courageous enough and if i don’t do or say that thing i feel like that’s lying that’s me not being true to my authentic self [Music] and so that’s what i mean by tell the truth like yeah whatever you hear your you can call it soul i really like the group

(1:59:56) your essence or called your damon i i like that term but there’s a thing in you that’s whispering to you in every moment about how to be and i try my best and i’m i i [ __ ] up every day but i try my best to be in accordance with that thing and that’s the advice i’d give to my 25 year old yourself i feel like after this interview i’ll be a little more um at least conscious of that just from this whole conversation you know after um a ceremony it’s not like it can change your actions for you

(2:00:30) but you’re at least conscious of what is going on i feel like that’s that’s at least gonna help me with that good little nugget yeah all right so the next question we like to ask is if you could have the whole world read one book which would it be uh the hardest way okay nice one i need to get it off the shelf then um and then the last of these questions is if you could whisper one phrase to everyone on the planet what would it be you have a potential in you that wants to be made manifest through you and

(2:01:17) you are responsible for doing it and in order to do it you’re going to have to face all of your fears give me goosebumps i like that a lot face your fears dig them up and then face them do the work seek the pain for positive gain that’s my mantra sometimes we don’t even thank you that’s my mystic mantra i’ve made this podcast we’ve run it in every single episode we say it some way or another i like it yeah um i feel like a lot of us don’t we’re not even aware that we have so many

(2:01:51) fears it’s crazy yeah like you say that and some people may think like well i can’t really you know like it’s question yeah we don’t wanna look at that [ __ ] all right eric before we let you go where can people find you and your work on the interwebs and social media etc for sure um the place that i’m only active right now because i work way too much at on it is instagram and it’s just my name uh e-r-i-c-k-g-o-d-s-e-y and i try to post content at least once a week i’ll write i’ll do lsd on a

(2:02:27) sunday and then i’ll write a really long post and it’s pretty intense and that’s where i’m currently active awesome i love that um well this was awesome i can see why people have you on their show three times in a span of a couple months because like sometimes i’ll look and i’m like they have them on like this isn’t a big span of time but now i i i can feel it i can feel why i appreciate that a lot and i i’m i’m kind of in shock with how my life is going the last six months but i’m just

(2:02:56) trying to ride the wave and i appreciate you guys having me on this has been awesome you guys ask great questions thank you we this this has been really cool and i think it’ll we don’t usually take this long i know right we must really like talking usually half this amount of time i think this episode will affect a lot of people in a lot of different ways we talked about so many different subjects i don’t you know need to list them here but appreciate you taking the time to come and do this and and

(2:03:26) i appreciate whatever ways that you spent your childhood or you know your time up to now to be able to articulate it because i think that’s something that isn’t credited enough in this world in this time and space like we don’t give credit to the time and effort people put into being able to articulate things and i think it’s i know i’m not great at it but i’m out here practicing it like live on this podcast you know so i can really appreciate how well you do that with all the messages you’re trying

(2:03:57) to put across thank you and i appreciate you seeing that because it took a lot of personal suffering and studying to get to where i’m at yeah i also appreciate how um you were a really easy guest like a lot of times um i only got three hours of sleep last night and a lot of times um you know after you interview someone you can feel really tired because you were so on making sure that you were in interview mode and with you you were very um genuine and like not holding anything back and we didn’t have to read into

(2:04:35) what you were saying or into you to pull out you know your innermost truth it was just there and readily available so thank you because even though i only got three hours of sleep at night i feel more awake after this interview instead of more tired so so thank you it was one of those conversations that you mentioned actually we needed it this is like interview number five this week or some ridiculous thing so yeah grandma she’s going to egypt for a couple weeks so we’re doing one like every night this

(2:05:02) week to be able to air them while she’s gone so yeah i had a podcast for a while and i know the pain of having a guest who doesn’t return the energy of the question so uh it’s the least that i can do for sure yeah thank you so much yeah sorry if we drained you no i i feel great it’s gonna be hard to fall asleep actually um you know how to send the audacity through we transfer then i’m pretty sure i’m guessing for sure is is it okay i do it in the morning sure yeah as long as you just save it as a

(2:05:34) wave you know it’ll be on your computer of course so i think the file you guys sent me it showed to save it as a oog file so you want it as a wave it should be oh it should have said save as a wave i just understand it but i can for sure save it as a wave and send it over on we transfer yeah i’m not sure why he pref i’m we’re oblivious to all that but um yeah if you just save it as a wave we’ll let him know you’ll you’ll send it in the morning yeah thank you so much thank you guys thanks sarah

(2:06:02) yeah hopefully i’ll see you guys again soon for sure okay talk to you soon you too bye let’s see i don’t know if i hang up on you if it’ll hang up on mercedes but if it does i guess i can call you back um okay