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Growing up, she was bullied about her looks, and though she had aspirations to become a world-famous actress, she didn’t believe she could succeed. Against all odds and after moving to Hollywood on her own at age 15, our guest, Chelsea Harris, made her own dreams come true through resilience and sheer perseverance. Currently known for her extensive TV and film roles, she’s also the face of Dove Soap’s “real beauty” campaign, and a self-esteem mentor on the ways women of any age can build belief in themselves and become formidable forces for good. In this episode we explore her story of what she calls: “seeking access to self”, along with her own self-esteem journey in an industry that often glorifies youth & beauty.

We dive deep with her on the dichotomy of “having it all”, depression, anxiety, and how to move energy through our bodies. As a believer in entertainment as one of the most important tools for raising the consciousness of the world, Chelsea is a living example of beauty defined from the inside out. 

MAJic tricks: 

• Know yourself outside of the opinions of others.

• Confidence hack for men.

See for privacy information.–Chelsea-Harris-e1qj301

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majic hour episode #48 transcription

(00:08) okay i’ve never done it like this with full screen mode i think that’ll work though okay i’m ready when you are yeah greetings magic mobbers welcome boys and babes it’s the magic hour a place where we navigate through life’s peaks and valleys with all the vulnerability and shamelessness we can muster with the help of world-class guests from all walks of life we uncover new truths and valuable tools for manifesting our highest potential i’m your host mercedes terrell along with my partner in shine

(00:56) jade bryce hey you guys so before we jump in i wanted to mention that mercedes and i have been so moved by the reviews that you guys are already sending in it would mean so much to us if right now while you were listening you could just leave one in real time and whatever podcast app that you’re listening to you don’t even have to hit pause you can just do it right now while you continue to listen to the show yeah and uh we’re doing a little contest if you haven’t heard already basically picking one or two reviews per month to

(01:28) give a hundred dollar amazon gift card too so we read all those reviews you guys send in and we love love love love love them so maybe this will be your lucky month you never know all right guys so enough fiddle paddle enough billy darling around let’s get into uh who we’re having on today our amazing guest jade yes please help me welcome an actress who is currently asked [ __ ] give me a minute i forgot that she um she just sent me like 10 minutes ago but i was getting water she wanted me to change something real quick oh got you

(02:08) in the bio can i grab i’m going to go grab water actually okay currently known for so 19.

(03:24) she said she didn’t get the link all right click on address who’s currently known for oh she got it okay please welcome an actress who is currently known for maverick designated survivor station 19 increase anatomy all right should i just start that over then or should we start just start the whole audacity over no just do one i don’t know whatever you think um well we have this already recording on that no just go okay please help me welcome an actress who is currently known for the upcoming film top gun maverick

(04:24) designated survivor station 19 and grey’s anatomy but we’ll also have her tell you about her other big projects coming up growing up she was bullied about her looks and though she had acting aspirations she didn’t believe she could succeed today she’s not only a working actress with dozens of tv credits and one of the faces of the dove real beauty campaign but she is also a self-esteem mentor on the ways women of any age can build belief in themselves and become become i don’t know what’s wrong with me

(04:56) i don’t none of these words are coming out it’s like my tongue is stuck to the roof of my mouth just get through it all the way before she gets on it’s all i’m worried about all right it’s like i smoked pot or something but i didn’t con pagoday oh hello hi hi look how beautiful you are wow [Laughter] i didn’t know that you hadn’t seen her i had and at my screen this is the first time i’ve got my thing to expand into full screen so now i can see everybody’s beautiful faces it’s

(05:38) oh i’ve never done that i always get scared to not see audacity though that’s i know that’s why i usually have it smaller but yeah today i decided to go big you’re living on the edge yeah um so mercedes this is chelsea chelsea this is mercedes hello um nice to meet you nice to meet you too i like whatever’s whatever is above your head you know this is like a tapestry that my roommate god only knows where he got it and the perfect background for everything yeah it is i love it yeah so um we’re just gonna read your bio and then

(06:14) start asking questions cool and i just want to make sure you can hear me okay too um you know what i want you to double check on the bottom left of the zoom screen you see where it says mute and next there’s a little arrow click that arrow up and then it should say that you’re you have a microphone plugged into your computer yes yeah we centered it is it selected there it should be like usb something like that on the first one to select a microphone i just selected it can you hear me oh so much better okay cool that’s what i wanted to make

(06:47) sure i was like wait don’t start let me just unravel you okay and then uh just underneath that it’ll say select the speaker and just make sure the built-in output is probably what you got we don’t need headphones on her right jade um or do you wanna do you have headphones she’s got feedback so we’re okay without him what do you think it’s always i just love it as a safety but it’s up to you i don’t have any around okay actually no no okay that’s what i need what that thing that back support

(07:29) oh yeah i need a real chair too is that what they’re called chairs chairs those little things what do they call them i forget i forget this shirt is amazing and this is actually a little uh a uh uh massager oh yeah god can you imagine if we massage chairs while we record yeah we couldn’t because we did make noise or some silly thing and then we’d have to turn them off and just be miserable all right so it turns out my roommate who is a musician actually just happened have some headphones oh fantastic

(08:06) so let me make sure how about now can you hear me okay i hear you good just make sure you’re selected again on their uh yeti stereo microphone is the microphone i mean i’m sorry usb microphone is selected and then the built-in output headphones is the uh speaker selected and the speaker selected yes so that is perfect then we’re all good i love it hey okay so we are let me make sure we’re recording all things on my end and jade okay cool so jade’s going to read a intro for you and then we will get into the interview

(08:53) let’s do it okay yes please help me welcome an actress who is currently known for the upcoming film top gun maverick designated survivor station 19 and grey’s anatomy but we’ll also have her tell you about her other big projects coming up growing up she was bullied about her looks and though she had acting aspirations she didn’t believe she could succeed today she’s not only a working actress with dozens of tv credits and one of the faces of the dove real beauty campaign but she is also a self-esteem mentor on

(09:29) the way to women of any age can build belief in themselves and become formidable forces for good chelsea thank you so much for being the change in the world please welcome please help me welcome her to the show [Laughter] my words are jumbling today but i heard them all right you know what i mean you know she’s hung out with me before she’s she’s used to it so chelsea we want to hear about your upcoming projects but first can you tell us a little bit about your story and what gave you a passion for acting and

(10:08) also what you’ve learned through it oh sure well my story i grew up in georgia and so of course being this little black girl in the south i had a very difficult time finding where i belonged um back at that time in the south i mean i don’t know why people don’t really talk about this but but segregation in many sense yeah and it’s still very much a real thing um you know and and i did not live in the black part of town i did not speak a certain way that made me fit in with with my black peers that i was able to

(10:47) find my mother was a doctor and so we grew up in a certain area and i went to certain schools where i was one of the only black kids around um and and as much as i wasn’t accepted in my community of color at that time i also wasn’t accepted in the other world because it’s like oh they very much saw me as other and like oh well why don’t you speak this way and why don’t you dress this way and so i had a really really difficult time all of that took an intense toll on me as a child feeling like i had no home i

(11:27) had no identity i had no place to fit in and and so one of the things that i turned to at the time was acting my mother she she had actually heard about there was this place called the springer opera house and every summer they did um they did like a summer theater camp and i still remember the very first time that i was on the stage like it still makes me emotional just because it was the very first time that uh that i felt seen as a person not as a thing but as a human being and and it was a really magical moment for me yeah

(12:16) yeah and so that that started me on the path of what is this and how can i do this more um when i was 15 16 by the grace of god i convinced my parents to let me move to los angeles with my cousin who at the time was living in new york and was starring off broadway she was also an actress and they said okay she can be your legal guardian i would never trust it yeah but they they let me do that and and i was still at the time very much struggling with this sense of self and let me tell you that if you ever thought that you had

(12:59) self-esteem issues walk into the entertainment industry or walk into even the modeling industry anything that has to do with having a sense of self especially putting on other characters that will mess with your head yeah and and it did and it very much it did and at 16 years old um definitely like at one of my darkest periods i was i was so blessed to to meet this woman who at the time was a self-esteem coach and you know back at that time it was like what is that yeah um and she turned out was the um the consultant the brand consultant

(13:43) behind dove when they first started doing these campaigns for real beauty and she took a small group of girls about five of us we were like 16 17 18 years old and she mentored us and she was why am i getting emotional at the beginning of this yeah but she um her name’s jess wiener she is doing miraculous work to this day changing the way that that women are portrayed in media and the way that that um big brands market to young women so that they see their beauty and their femininity as a source of power instead

(14:23) of something that um that is a detriment in this world and she she changed my life she absolutely changed my life and and you know it’s been a very long journey because of course i am very much still in entertainment and i’ve grown into an adult while being an actress and so the self-esteem journey has never ended and the beautiful thing though is that as i work myself out i get to work myself out in front of a camera where naturally the characters that have always been attracted to me have been young women who are

(15:06) who are really deeply fighting for what they believe in who are fighting to be hurt fighting to be seen and and i get messages all the time that people say that inspired me and that’s why i’m an actor yeah i want to touch those people um just like myself uh i want to ha just like how i wish i had a great role model on tv i want to be that yeah how amazing a mentor came in your life at 16 i always think about my mentor tom came in my life at 26 and i always think about god if someone would have just came in my father’s life at 26 what what

(15:43) difference it would have made and i also think it’s so cool that your parents everyone knows the effect an entertainment industry can have on a 16 year old girl but that means that they really believed in your dream which is like such a powerful thing you can give your children it’s like to believe in them and their dream and and make like how how much more empowering can you be than to say yeah go do it you know then you know to try to push them into who we want them to be instead so i thought that was really cool um

(16:14) and i also you know you brought up georgia georgia right georgia yeah so my church um last sunday um we talked about racism and white fragility and they brought five different races up on stage and they asked each one of them when was the first time you realized your race and when was the first time you discovered racism and one of the girls up there the um she was a younger black girl said that when she was and this was in the you know in the south when she was in middle school she got beat up for walking like a white girl and it broke my heart just

(16:51) for how she walked so i thought god you you can’t fit in when you’re you know when you’re a minority and i i it was hard for me to empathize i mean it was hard for me um to grasp the pain which makes it you know you still want to empathize but i since i have never really been a minority and i also don’t see people’s race when i look at them the way i related was i went to 18 different schools so i was always feeling um like who yeah and always feeling like who am i how do i fit in what like

(17:24) what’s cool here and that was one thing that i really loved about acting as well which is how i met you um because it brought me out to la but was that you kind of got to just become somebody else and decide who you were you know it was it was for me it was very healing to play another role so yeah discovering yourself through that yeah yeah i i can absolutely agree it’s acting entertainment itself within itself is a double-edged sword right because just as like how with acting it can give you this pathway to learn about yourself

(18:01) and to strengthen your sense of who you are as you are trying on these other characters and as you are empathizing with these these people and what they’re going through the same thing where if you don’t already have that strong sense of self it can pull you away further from who you are because because especially when you are trying to do it professionally you have to know you have you know you are selling yourself therefore you have to know what what it is you’re putting out there and the characters are

(18:29) literally asking you to fill the shoes of these roll i mean whoever you know is picking you the casting directors are asking to fill the shoes of some certain role and so now you’re trying to fit in to that role over and over again but you do make a really good point that um at the same time it allows you to test out different things and see how that feels and and it’s a really probably a really great practice people could use in their own lives of how to how to find empathy for for the people around us you know

(19:03) the people who share this planet with overall yeah i want to ask you chelsea about um your self-esteem journey let’s call it especially in the industry the acting industry and entertainment industry that can sometimes glorify youth and beauty with females especially so can you talk about that a bit oh sure sure uh there’s actually funny enough if you actually go onto my instagram a few maybe it was last year or two years ago i posted a photo of myself at like 15.

(19:41) and i say this just and i invite you to go look at it just because of the fact that i look like a different person and so um one of what it’s so funny i when i was at my i would say probably like my farthest away from myself if i could say that i loved playing with my outsides so whether it was i put on you know giant amazing hair extensions and like layers thick of makeup i have latched extensions before anybody knew what they were like 2006 y’all i you know i had the colored contacts i did i looked like a

(20:24) different person right i looked like a different person and i remember i once went to this i want to say it was um i don’t remember what it was but i heard an interview where there’s this celebrity makeup artist and she was talking about what she did is uh for a living and what she did for a living was to not to try to put a lot of makeup on to a model or an actor to make them look more beautiful but to to unveil who they are and it was the first time that i’d ever heard that and so my self-esteem journey

(20:59) it has looked like really i mean if that was if that was step one of looking that way and yeah and covering myself up um as as i started to work with jess and then started to find other mentors in my life who were able to speak to those parts of myself that that were really really really wounded um that’s when i would say that i started to really put my feet on the ground for the first time started to learn that that being a black woman was an asset in my life i started to heal my relationship with that i started to look at

(21:42) media differently especially what is being marketed to to us as women i started to um to just even question how i dress and like who am i dressing for am i dressing for the attention of you know men so that i can then feel good about myself is that the feedback loop so that like my worth is stress and what i look like and then reinforcing that and i’m like no and that’s when a few years ago i had actually i used to have big curly hair and i cut it all off because i wanted to know what i looked like i wanted to know what i felt like

(22:24) that was a huge step for me because i identified so much with my beauty and with my hair and intentionally started to wear less makeup and intentionally started to just look deeper underneath all the layers yeah yeah start to uncover yeah i resonate with that um deeply i feel like i’m still going through that journey for sure i’m still figuring out how to feel comfortable in my most natural state you know i guess we can put it um but i i grew up in a house with stepsisters like older stepsisters who are always kind of

(23:04) you know older sisters generally are mean i’m an older sister to my younger sisters as well so i was just i was a terrible terrible person sometimes too but um uh for me you know i have a i’m half mexican so and they were they were italian white you know they’re white essentially and they would call me [ __ ] and so i would always try to like do things that i thought made me seem less mexican like wear my hair straight or not wear red or i mean like weird things you know that for whatever my my brain thought

(23:38) yeah so so coming from that and then coming into this industry that asks us to look a certain way and you know jade and i are been professional models for for most of our careers so like you feel like you have to have all the things checked off you have to be wearing the lashes and the extensions and the makeup a certain way and they you know you have to be able to walk in heels a certain way and hold your posture this way and all these things and it’s like exhausting it gets to a point where you’re like i can’t

(24:07) keep up with this and it’s part of the job but the thing is is when you don’t have all that on you feel like you’re not presentable anymore right you know you’re not enough yeah and here’s here’s the thing here’s the thing is that we live in a time right now that is so beautiful because it’s all about rebelling against that right it is about breaking the structure now you look at you look at models like of course um ashley who am i thinking of ashley graham yeah you know or easter lawrence

(24:36) or um who’s the beautiful the beautiful model that has vitiligo you know you look at marlowe yeah yes thank you and and never before in history have we been able to put women who look how they actually look on the forefront on the forefront but that’s why it’s so up to us to break that structure yeah we’re working hard on it we’ve got the little our little hashtag keep it realish where we’re trying to deconstruct all the layers of stuff down to who we really are and and that and if we post a

(25:14) modeling photo that we actually post the edits that the photographer did because photographers want to edit their photos it’s their work but we post that and with that hashtag so that’s that’s something we’re trying to be a part of that movement as well yeah i think it’s important too to note that there’s still going to be edited photos in the world because the the at the base level we’re trying to you know when you’re trying to make money off of a photo or video whatever you’re

(25:38) trying to make it eye-catching enough so people stop and look at it yeah and sometimes that does take edits and but if we can at least say how those things were edited then people aren’t comparing themselves to this unattainable thing yeah but i also just wanted to bring up this the saying that’s like so now becoming a part of me which is you already are and i felt like when you were talking about how you’re removing all these layers of hair and makeup and contacts and all the things that that’s what you’re digging for like

(26:07) the fact that you already are it’s just a matter of uncovering all these veils of false onion yeah peeling the onion back and i think i also find it interesting i don’t know i’m sure it’s true for y’all but i found it true with my other girlfriends that all the the things that we thought were quote unquote flaws in ourselves that the hearts that end up loving us our partners those are the things they love most about us um whether it be freckles or our gap tooth or our frizzy hair and i remember mercedes brought up

(26:41) trying to not look um mexican because of the um things her sister said i remember showing up to a modeling gig in my early 20s and my hair is naturally curly and i had it naturally curly and the lady sent me home because she said i look too mexican and i’m half mexican so it was even though i don’t look my skin i’m half mexican so she thought she could say that but i thought like she said she could take the way she worded it right and the way she wanted it though i thought it sounded like it was bad to look who i

(27:10) was right yeah and so i became i was always straining my hair for every single gig would never wear it curly and then if i was dating a guy i would feel insecure about it about him seeing it curly but it turned out every guy i’ve ever dated has always preferred my hair curly so it’s interesting how sometimes it works out that way and so it’s a it’s another reminder to embrace our flaws because yeah we’ll be loved for them and not flaws not flaws just that’s what i was just gonna say that it’s not even a flaw

(27:39) that it’s not even a flaw it’s like we’re so gorgeously human that’s something that my boyfriend now has taught me that he looks at my scars and he looks at like the bags under my eyes and my morning breath and he loves it because it’s human yeah it’s relatable it’s relatable and it’s that vulnerability that is so stunning yeah and if i could um because i can relate to the experience jade that you were saying that you both of you mercedes and jade i it was my very one of my first big guest starring

(28:13) roles on a on a show and i showed up at with my big curly hair at the time and the hairstylist was like why would you show up that way she was like then it’s going to take me hours to straighten this why would you show up this way and i’m like they know exactly what my hair looks like the producers know they hired me with my hair like this she didn’t believe me he had us get on a little golf cart and go down to the set and talk to the showrunner marched me up to him and said what do you want me to do with this right wow

(28:50) there’s so much shame that just gets thrown around and it’s not ours to hold on to it’s like it’s not and it was all of hers yeah it was all hers and you know and if someone has as has projected onto her what they think beauty is supposed to look like and then she’s seeing you through that filter credentials to somehow force it on to you or something i don’t know exactly being able to question question why we think the what we think and and why we do yeah yes that’s everything yeah and i i know uh we want to move on to to

(29:27) more here but i just wanted to also note that it is so interesting the the way that we strive especially as young people to be perfectionists in the way we look because we want to feel wanted and accepted by groups you know by other people we want to be part of the tribe that we think we we think we want to be part of yeah and we think the way to do that is to be this perfect being that’s got all the things in order and and meets all these standards whatever that you know quote unquote um and then as you get older you realize

(30:02) that all that stuff that you built up and thinking that you’re creating this perfect being is actually walls in between you being able to relate with your tribe the people who actually are going to be the ones you care about for the rest of your life the ones that are going to be in your life for the rest of your life it’s crazy it’s like literally the exact opposite but it’s how our brains work so we have to like you’re saying question why we think the way we think because that really gets us to the root of that

(30:31) going oh all i want is to feel loved and wanted so what’s going to get me there it’s not me being so perfect that people are looking at me and going i can’t even relate to that robot you know it’s exactly it’s being real yeah and real keep in mind y’all yes so you’ve said before that you believe entertainment is one of the most important tools for raising the consciousness of the world and i agree with this so much but can you go into why you feel this way oh yeah yeah i the reason why i feel this way is

(31:09) because i know my experience and my brother’s experience of being two little kids whose parents were always working and we sat in front of the tv and we learned what we thought it meant to be a good person we thought it meant to be a woman what we thought it meant to be a man what it we thought you had to do and be to succeed yeah in this world and and and as much as i loved the television that i watched when i was younger some of it like lizzie mcguire some of it taught me that it was really cool to be who i was

(31:46) and then other parts of it um you know it didn’t it didn’t inspire me in a positive way and so i know for myself that that i have walked out of a movie theater or turned off a television after a show ended and have like sat up in my seat and been like just had a fire to be a bigger person that’s why entertainment is so important it’s because your conscious mind gets to sit back while your subconscious mind gets to take over and just listen that’s why it’s so important to to be discerning about what we watch

(32:28) and then also to be to take for us as people in entertainment to take responsibility for what we put out and create god that’s tough i mean and so much of that is happening on social media obviously yeah it’s our new form of entertainment not really even new anymore but figuring out how to walk that very fine line when you’re in the entertainment industry of i need to make money to survive i’m a starving actress or a model and not compromising you know your morals or compromising what you want to put out

(33:06) into the world but making a paycheck at the same time and dealing with the powers that be in the entertainment industry you know that’s a lot to juggle yeah 100 and i think that it’s like it’s a you know small step by step by step you know in every single moment am i keeping my integrity and i um you know am i being responsible for what i’m putting out um and then of course it’s those small steps those small actions that will lead to the long course yeah of having done so i love that you said subconscious

(33:39) because what we’re watching when we’re just folding laundry and just killing time the the mind-numbing stuff when you don’t you don’t really want to think so you just put on whatever our subconscious doesn’t know that that’s not true and so it’s taking that in still and shaping what we feel about love and about the world so it is so important that even when we just want to put on something and binge out on netflix that it is something that we want to feed our subconscious you know absolutely that

(34:11) could not be said better it’s crazy this is somewhat related but our producer john his daughter was dyslexic and was struggling in school and so what he did was he had her watch tv he’d had her watch movies with subtitles on so that she was reading it while hearing it and now she’s like the best reader in her class wow can i tell you how much can i tell you a secret yeah i literally have not told anybody this oh i don’t think ever growing up i used to stutter really badly oh wow um and i would put the caption on tv and i would

(34:51) read it i would read it out loud and alone in my room and it helped me to get over my wow and my fear of speaking out loud what a magic trick that’s amazing yeah and i love that you’ve never told anyone before and it’s just a magic hour yeah i love it it’s never struck me right before i’m like oh my god those there’s so many of those things floating around in our brain and then something brings it about and we’re like huh maybe this could be useful to someone else i should say this thing out

(35:23) wow seriously because i mean we just go about live what’s my secrets oh my goodness um well let’s see i was going to move a song but i wanted to ask you maybe if you could give us your definition of beauty and of self-esteem yeah let’s see beauty for me is how i feel on the inside it definitely has a feeling sense to it it feels light it feels airy uh it feels like a buoyancy in my body it’s no longer about like how i look but it’s about how how i hold it inside how it feels um yeah because then when you feel that

(36:12) way you radiate out beauty and self-esteem my definition of self-esteem is is how much i believe myself to be worth it’s my self-worth okay meaning that um my self-worth it’s it’s not connected to anything in my experience it’s connected to to i you know regardless of anybody’s religious beliefs but um but you know i am i’ve been made by god for a purpose and that’s what my self-esteem is it’s that direct connection that direct lineage to my creator and holding that specialness that i am something that was

(37:02) here purposefully you articulated that so beautifully and when i first met you you’re 29 now i am so when i first met you was it eight years ago so you’re only 21 oh god chelsea i had no idea i thought i you were just so mature and so well you held yourself together so well and um i remember when we did when you came over and you shot a music video for my room for my roommate and then when we had that crazy sleepover when we went to we went to subway in our jazzercise outfits around so anyhow in that time i remember thinking you were

(37:42) the one of the most beautiful woman i’d ever seen and i remember all my roommates being so in love with you and just like chelsea’s coming over okay everybody and so you were like you were just so um to me you were like one of the most beautiful women but the way you described beauty just now is how i see you now because now it radiates differently like before it was like you can’t ignore the beauty of this woman but now it’s like it’s it’s so much more of your becoming that it’s like

(38:13) you can’t it’s more of like it’s part of your it’s like a light coming out of you you know and not just what you see on the outside but it’s like the entire essence so i love that you articulated that so well you’re embodying it yeah thank you you have no idea how much i appreciate how much i appreciate hearing that wow yeah and the self-esteem sorry for breaking the secret marty that’s my old roommate amazing pact [Laughter] so the self-esteem definition too i think that’s such a big point to get across uh

(38:58) to ev to everybody i mean everybody on this planet i think everybody whether you believe it or not yeah deals with their sense of worthiness you know why am i here i mean those are the existential questions the root of the existential questions what is my purpose why am i here am i enough for whatever my purpose is you know it’s so big these questions are so big and looming and overwhelming that most people just do everything they can to not have to think about them instead of figuring out what has made me feel unworthy or like i

(39:30) even need to define um a certain purpose you know like why am i not enough by just existing and waking up every day and being grateful for that i don’t know there’s so many i don’t have any answers to to to the big questions except for um keep asking them and keep uh asking the deeper questions underneath of you know why do i feel unworthy in whatever situation that comes because it’s not it’s also not those are not your thoughts if you are feeling unworthy those are not your thoughts those are

(40:03) someone else’s thoughts that have come into your mind and you’ve got to get to the root of that who’s whose thoughts am i hearing whose voices like you know have been projected on to me and like dig that up and heal that otherwise you’ll just keep hearing it too yeah i think about like and i don’t have any children myself but i think about a small baby probably doesn’t question worthiness you know that’s like here’s my name yeah go ahead yeah um i think it was my mother who told me

(40:30) this that babies are born with only two fears it’s the fear of loud noises and the fear of falling and they’re not afraid of anything else people are literally taught how to fear and how to feel unworthy how to stop themselves they’re that’s something that we literally teach ourselves that our society our community our parents whatever your structure is has taught you right it’s learned yeah that it’s all learned fascinating stuff so i have a note here to ask you about the dichotomy of having it all and

(41:05) depression and anxiety related to that oh it’s so funny well i think jade actually just highlighted it perfectly for me because i because because the reason why i was laughing to myself when you were just saying that from when we had first met and sleepover that we had and the way that you saw me and even your roommate saw me that you know where like from the outside it’s you were seeing what you were seeing right and yet from the inside i felt so hollow mm-hmm at that time in my life i felt so empty like uh one of my teachers my really

(41:45) great spiritual teacher she calls the chocolate easter bunny they’re hollow yeah exactly they look beautiful on the outside but they’re hollow on the inside and um and that’s the dichotomy i think of when we when we know how to finesse ourselves and we know how to make things look really beautiful and gilded on the outside whether that’s in what we look like or how we’re acting or um you know how we’re presenting ourselves to the world that um [Music] poof yeah yeah i’m just like i got taken by that wow

(42:27) yeah that it’s that for me was that that dichotomy mm-hmm at that time in my life where everybody thought i had it all together right but i know what was going on internally for me and i was one of the i was at a low point at a low point granted i met myself my self-esteem mentor when i was 16 but life is a journey you know it’s like and it’s all about the next layer of the onion that you’re uncovering and [Music] yeah yeah and so i saw a quote yesterday that was like and this is true for everybody whether

(43:11) they believe it or not i saw a quote that said something along the lines of if you could only see how beautiful you are you would stumble at your own feet but it’s interesting we see ourselves every day we don’t know what we look like to a stranger or to our girlfriend’s roommates you know like we never see our own beauty because we see ourselves every day but and we’ve talked a lot about on this show uh well we i call it falling in love in the dark or falling in love with other people or finding soulmates or kindred spirits

(43:43) through other senses than vision because there’s so much i mean our entire lives we for the most part rely on what we’re seeing and the beauty when we talk about someone being beautiful that’s usually how we’re perceiving them through our eyesight when the reality is if you were to close your eyes and talk to people without ever seeing them experience them so differently yeah you’d experience them differently for sure but you’d also have you’d open up so much more potential to connect with people

(44:16) on a level that’s sustainable because physical beauty is not necessarily you know physical beauty quote unquote because what is that anyway uh but it’s not sustainable either i mean we all are going to change and evolve and age and ourselves are you know we’re all headed towards the same direction um so i think it’s just a good reminder that that um we have other ways to perceive beauty it’s not just visual can i actually build on that yeah i love what you just said mercedes because this is something that i get to practice as

(44:52) an actor which is which is not looking at at what somebody looks like but looking at who somebody is being you know that you know what i mean yeah so this is also one of the reasons why i mean i don’t know for you all since you all have both also modeled but um you know for me as an actor i feel silly saying this but as an actor i find it fascinating to watch my own work back because i get to that that’s the only way that i get to see myself from another perspective i get to see who i’m being and i’m like oh wow it’s not anymore

(45:35) about my outsides but like i really enjoy who the girl on that screen is being i like her yeah strangely enough that has really really built my self-esteem that’s really cool i think that that’s one of the biggest tips that people can do like make sure that you are always taking photos and videos of yourself or like you know capturing moments allow yourself to watch them back and actually experience yourself yeah and it’s a really good tip yeah i mean i know most people are not most people but a lot of people are

(46:11) going to be listening to this going y’all three models are a bunch of [ __ ] talking about how you want to take pictures of yourselves and videos and look at them all day they’re like the last thing i want to do is look at my damn self it’s too too much you know too much work but on that note it’s also cool to think about your life as you being a character in a movie how do you want to react to that lover when they’re hurting how do you want to be present at that date and who do you want that date to be with to

(46:40) make the movie one that you would want to watch like how do you want your character to dress and to feel and to react and who do you want playing the key roles you know so that’s also another cool way to look at it that’s a great exercise to be able to step back and see that yeah yeah yeah yeah by the way yeah like yeah yeah but i do want i mean uh not to and just to not leave it on a beat of um i’m not trying to say everyone’s so hideous they can’t look in the mirror but i’m trying to say

(47:15) that people don’t want to look in the mirror because it is a lot of work because we have to actually confront what’s going on look in the mirror every day that’s what i’m saying so it happens to be our job a lot of the time yeah we made we you know we have to literally be paid to do that look in the mirror like i say that sometimes i won’t leave you know i won’t put on makeup for less than however many dollars because i mean that’s a lot of freaking work to address everything i got going

(47:38) on that i don’t want to you know show to the world today or whatever but all i’m trying to do is uh just relate the the fact that we all have reasons that we don’t want to look in the mirror and taking the effort like you’re saying chelsea to do that uncomfortable work you know be honest with yourself when you’re looking in the mirror and say okay look here’s what i need to work on it’s not i’m not even saying this is physical stuff i know it’s exactly what you’re saying chelsea

(48:03) it’s not physical stuff we’re not talking about physical stuff you already got the physical stuff down we’re talking about the being i am talking about yeah when you’re acting that character or when you when anybody who’s not even an actor looks in the mirror and looks at the character has to look deep enough to go okay well this is the character that i’m actually trying to avoid not looking at because it’s not who i want to be that’s the place where you can address the ugliness you know quote unquote

(48:31) that’s living inside of you that you don’t want there anymore so yeah i oh i’m 100 on on board with that yeah you know i i’ve talked to my mother before and she’s like oh god i can’t like look at photos of myself i can’t watch videos of myself and that’s a lot of people yeah and exactly to your point why is that it’s because it’s so uncomfortable to see ourselves and actually be with ourselves right and that’s exactly the the work that i’ve been asked to do i think we all

(49:05) have been asked to do is see ourselves and be with ourselves yeah with ourselves with that yeah i think it definitely you’re right it ties back to your definition of self-esteem and that being such a spiritual connection for your connection to god is that worthiness thing if you feel like you’re for whatever reason not making the cut in your own mind then question what those probably lies that you were told at some point or picked up along the way or learned through entertainment or who knows where discard them you know look at them find

(49:42) them seek them out and then discard what doesn’t serve and sometimes you can’t find the root and you just have to just tell the thought to go away like right before we came on i posted a video of me laughing with my daughter and i almost didn’t post it because i thought my laugh sounded so hideous i was like why am i laughing like a hyena and so i was like this sounds awful and then i was like oh my god i’m i’m saying that my laugh is ugly like a laugh is joyful happiness and i’m with my child and here

(50:10) i am criticizing my laugh which is like it’s an expression of happiness you know so i didn’t even like with that it’s like i can’t find the root there but to just tell myself like how absurd is it to question things like that about ourselves the root could be as simple as you feeling unworthy of laughter i mean unworthy of expressing uncontainable joy that sounds silly to your ego mind that’s supposed to be like this concise adult that’s supposed to act a certain way that who knows who knows where that

(50:42) impression came crazy that we pick our part ourselves you really do to the most smallest my new details um so i have a question here from our magic mob sheila on instagram asks do you have any practice you use in your daily routine that helps you to keep you at your best yes i love that you asked this uh move your body i find ways to move my body that’s so important yeah that’s so important i’m not talking about fitness i’m not talking about doing something to like try to make my thighs tighter so that i look a certain way i’m talking

(51:26) about like learning to express love literally through my body so in the morning and and like stretching and doing like five to ten minutes of yoga or if it’s um you know going on a long walk yes morning these blocks are so underrated this is so important this yeah we i don’t know why people forget to to that that is like such an important part of being and loving yourself and feeling good is literally movement it i spent the the better half of my life not under that impression of course when i was younger i played and all these

(52:09) things so you were expressing that way but then you get to a place where you begin to be an adult you know again that that idea of whatever that means to you and you don’t play you don’t find time for running and dancing as much as you used to and you become stagnant especially in our culture of like nine to five off this job sitting at a desk this type of thing and now i’ve been of course reminded through just trying to get my own body in a healthy state mentally more than even physically and mental fitness the first thing my

(52:43) therapist told me to do when i started therapy was break a sweat every day that means you need to break a sweat for 20 minutes too every day so however the hell you want to do that she didn’t give me any guidelines of how it was just that’s your goal and that’s because if we move our bodies we move all of the nasty stuck stuff especially yeah we’re chemical beings those chemicals need to move through our bodies when they sit that’s called depression and anxiety and panic attacks and all the ugly stuff we don’t want to

(53:13) do so if we can get that stuff flowing that is numero uno importante can i tell you one of the most healing practices i ever did was start going to ecstatic dance class yes yes you know you both light up you know about accelerated dance our at our live podcast events we we include ecstatic dance in the yeah of it love it it is my favorite very powerful so powerful to express yourself through movement yeah turn on your damn radio you know channel on your on your spotify or whatever and move your body and you can be silly because you’re at home you

(53:58) don’t have to worry about anything just do it yeah exactly act like an animal close your eyes get really weird and stupid like to find ways i’m of course like doing it on tape right now to find ways of moving your body that you and your like normal mind would not do is such a creative practice that moves you into the right side of your brain yes it moves you out of the logic and structure and it moves you into flow that is literally a spiritual practice that’s so true and i just love for me it like really um

(54:33) [Music] i feel like it rids me of my ego more because i i’m having to not care what i look like and not care what people are thinking and stop thinking about what they look like and what you know so that’s one of my favorite parts about it too but i’ve never felt i’ve never ended ecstatic dance and not had some sort of revelation exactly it’s almost like a type of meditation with movement that like in meditation you usually have some thoughts come up that you really needed to think about you know and when

(55:08) movements involved it’s a different way of that you know bringing that about but you’re still in such a state of flow like you guys are talking about it maybe you know that might be a more um term than than some are used to but that state of flow is just this place where energy is literally moving through your body and in this case when you’re dancing you’re you’re causing that energy to flow and in that state you get to have um a sense of i don’t stillness is the opposite word but it’s

(55:41) actually like a sense of what stillness means in meditation where you’re finally calm enough that you can see the real [ __ ] you need to think about that’s going to help you heal or move forward in your life so i think yeah i’m not good at articulating that yet but we’ll get there guys that made sense we had on karangi um which yes great and ecstatic dance he tours the world leading ecstatic dance and we had him on the show and it’s it’s one of our favorite episodes yes he can articulate exactly

(56:08) that episode yeah do you have any daily practices for affirmation besides dance like anything that’s specifically affirming or to build up self-esteem for women yes yes yes so i experiment yeah oh yeah i change affirmations every single week um there is this incredible spiritual center that i go to here in los angeles called agape and surprisingly in every single one of their sermons they have everybody stand up and do different affirmations for the week and they’re the same five ones but written in different ways one is about your

(56:45) connection to to a higher being and reaffirming that another is always reaffirming your connection to prosperity and that there is never any lack the other is to divine health in your body that your body is intelligent and it can let you know when something’s wrong and that you have the resources to always heal that and then the other is just all about gratitude always an affirmation reconnecting to to the fact that everything that you have is because of source around you so they change every single week but

(57:20) they’re always pertaining to those and i wake up in the morning and it’s the first thing i do uh and when i’m really good about it it’s also the very last thing that i do in my day oh see i begin my day every morning with a 20-minute meditation but i did not think about ending it because i i am running until i can barely make it into my bed so but that’s that’s i bet that would make a world of a difference in my sleep and in how i felt when i woke up and i’m familiar with agape but for me and our

(57:52) listeners and mercedes i’m sure too do they put those online so that we can okay yeah they have an instagram or something they do they have an instagram um i want to say it’s agape spiritual center okay on instagram because i’d love to change every week and use that as an outline so yeah you can also find them on their website i want to say it’s agape live yeah yeah i’ve i’ve heard great things about agape so this being the magic hour we do pick your poisons um and this one’s from ross on facebook he

(58:29) said would you rather always be able to see five minutes into the future or always be able to see ten years into the future i would rather be able to see 10 years into the future yeah me too seems more useful far more useful but also poker well you would definitely know if it worked out or not yeah ten years just because um it would always be reassuring that everything always works out which is of course a part of me always everything works out yeah so like i’d be able to chill yeah if you’re like 10 years i’m dead

(59:13) it kind of still worked out you’re like well then don’t have any regrets until then yeah every day you’re going to be like oh in 10 years i don’t give a [ __ ] about what’s going on today so none of this is as urgent as i’m making it well that’s such a good practice generally that five years like we usually when we talk about i would talk about the five-year um like any big issue you’re facing in the moment if you are sitting in it and you feel overwhelmed and you’re like what am i

(59:39) gonna do i have no idea what you know how to make this decision it’s too big a great practice in that moment is thinking about what you’ll be thinking about that situation in five years from now so like looking back at it you’ll be like damn i can’t believe that stressed me out so bad like it was not that big of a deal and i and you it makes you aware that you’re gonna get past it you’re gonna be fine and you stressing isn’t what solve the problem totally but the five minutes one that would make things so much worse for

(1:00:08) me because i’d be like oh crap in five minutes i still haven’t gotten this done you know like it would only add more urgency to my day so no no it would be such a distraction yeah what about you mercedes i feel like you’re gonna have five minutes just to make it interesting i gotta uh i mean both have their their benefits i think but i do think the five minute thing if you can get because like think about a psychic you know in that mindset if you can think about things five minutes from now and be present and

(1:00:40) you have a way to turn it on and off i think then we could work with something that might be something good for you but yeah i think if you just constantly are like living in the five minute then you’re never present and you never you know what i mean like you can never you would never be able to move yeah always your five minutes is gonna look like [ __ ] it’s gonna look like i didn’t get that thing done because that’s all you’re doing is sitting in the five minute zone way out there instead of being

(1:01:07) present would have skipped a lot of relationships with the senior one [Music] i could say that too they were all our teachers but yeah definitely could have been shorter i wonder if we actually would skip or we’d just be like all right i’m just going to do it it’s going to i would probably still just do it i had a lot of fun in my ex relationships i i can’t lie yeah yeah so much learning so much so much learning all right um let’s see what do we have few short questions we’d like to ask everyone who

(1:01:41) comes on the show first off if you could hung hung oh my god what are we doing today we’re having struggles with words today um if you could hug your younger self right now what would you say uh if i could hug a younger chelsea i would tell her like hey girl just relax when they play life is a game i loved games really like what oh girls i didn’t matter it didn’t matter i was just competitive and loved to play whether it was hidden go seek or whether it was it was uno or oh my god those were my two favorite

(1:02:22) games you just listed oh we would have been best friends yeah i will still play today i i own a uno pack and i still love hide and seek i love that old house that you visited we would play mexican train dominoes after dinner and it is still to this day one of my favorite memories is like just playing mexican train dominoes with my roommates after dinner yeah i love playing taboo taboo’s like super fun i feel like you’re you’re getting like all that alzheimer’s plastic stuff i know i’m gonna start hosting gaming

(1:02:57) alzheimer’s plaques yeah like you’re getting that stuff breaking that stuff loose because you got to use your brain so fast for those yeah i’m going to start hosting game nights that’s what you got to do i got to do the same thing right we i do it over here pretty often at first i guess you could that’s the whole world read one book which would it be my heart just burned a little when you said that i like that reaction there’s so many really good ones uh one book i’m just like yeah do one

(1:03:37) do you have one book that is like what turned you onto reading generally are you a big reader i i am i’m a big audiobook person but there’s there is i there’s one book i want to make sure that i only read it once and probably of anything ever it just really stuck with me and i want to say that it’s called um the man who spoke with flowers and it was about george washington carver okay yeah um george washington carver peanuts remember okay yeah the peanut cartoons no no girl just that’s where my head

(1:04:18) went okay wikipedia this afternoon okay george washington carvery he i want to say that he was he was like a black man back in like the late 1800s or early 1900s that discovered the many uses of the peanut wow yeah and his his insight was just so like they just they talk about him in this book um the way that he would like literally he would meditate on on this plant and just like come up with this and this and this and this and you could get peanut butter and then it’s oil and it’s all these like different things and he had this

(1:04:56) incredible this incredible spirit kindred relationship with plants peanut plants [Laughter] i don’t know why not i mean why not though first of all can we go back and like get in touch with him you know psychically or through a medium or something he’s passed you’re talking this is a long time ago yeah definitely where we can ask him about what the peanut allergy situation’s all about it might be gmo related maybe but that’s something interesting but besides that think of all the ways that peanuts

(1:05:32) have like helped this this species move forward because they’re full of so much protein we use them in so many ways and in almost every culture uses them in some way or another wow that’s i gotta look at that book that’s interesting it’s so funny that book like just sits in the back of my mind but never i was just like oh my gosh like what i’m i’m impressed that with my brain that that’s the one that came that’s the one that came well it left an impression that’s it i read that like 12 years ago

(1:06:06) that’s why i’m like um oh my god i like it all right i like that that’s something i mean that’s a real niche niche topic but i like the idea i mean no because we have we have of course so many people you know recommend some that we’ve heard over and over which are beautiful and amazing books and we want to hear that over and over because we want people to read them but when it’s something that touched you you can’t really help the fact that that resonated for some reason or another and

(1:06:32) it’s probably just the guy’s energy and not even what the book is about yeah that’s it and what his energy that’s basically what i got from the book is that that everybody wants to have mastery at some kind of craft or skill right and the way that this man got to master learning the mini uses of the peanut and putting them into practice and in the you know american society and the rest of the world it’s incredible to learn about his process of learning mastery that’s what i took away from it because

(1:07:11) deep girl yes you’re welcome okay if you could whisper one phrase to everyone on the planet what would it be breathe yeah it’s good my that’s that’s something that i’ve learned through acting which is um uh i used to have a tendency i noticed to hold my breath when i first started acting a lot of people do it and it’s just like a natural reaction to like puff up and be seen a certain way right yes and like when you breathe everything just softens and relax it relaxes and that’s when you actually have

(1:07:58) access to yourself yeah it’s such a it’s a reminder that’s literally always needed there’s never a time where that whisper in my ear if you could do that and go you know the whole world word could hear whole world could hear you whisper one phrase to them there’s no one not needing to hear that i feel like it’s i mean maybe if you’re underwater don’t take a deep breath but other than that i think that’s the it’s so valuable and it resonates with me because i have the same thing and i

(1:08:31) think in this especially in the modeling career or just just people in general trying to like you’re saying look a certain way we puff up our you know we hold in our stomachs puff up our chest and the fact that that we’ve even seen trends come and go throughout the ages of um these waste trainers or in the you know way earlier times where they were wearing the corsets where they literally would pass out from not being able to breathe why we find that attractive i understand it signifies this like abundance of

(1:09:05) estrogen and being able to procreate because it that’s what creates curves on a woman’s body and these things but not being able to breathe fully like if you think about when you breathe fully right you got to like expand your your bottom of your diaphragm your belly puffs out and i think there’s a lot of reframing we need to do around that being attractive because to me if i see someone deep breathing like that i’m like oh hell yeah you’re sexy that’s what i’m looking for somebody oh

(1:09:31) i love reading i used to always like take go like and people would ask like what’s wrong yeah like ex-boyfriend’s like why are you doing that yeah and i was like it just feels good like it feels good to take a deep breath but that what you said chelsea is the third reminder i’ve had in 24 hours was just breathe like la this is kind of cheesy but last night i was watching this is us and it was like flashback to a war scene and the guy said we’re trying so hard to stay alive that we’re forgetting to do the one

(1:10:00) thing that keeps us alive which is breathe and he said that and i had just read something about stopping and breathing so it’s like the last 24 hours that’s been a a really good reminder um so chelsea where first of all what are your upcoming projects so we know to go see those things and then where can we find you online yes i want to support your movies thank you well my upcoming projects right now i am currently recurring on station 19 which is on abc it’s about a female-led team of firefighters it’s a

(1:10:37) really great show yes shonda rhimes is behind that who did grey’s anatomy and also scandal she’s amazing uh so currently i’m on there um i also am recurring on the new star trek picard so if you would be into star trek um back in the day when patrick stewart was playing picard uh i want to say that that was star trek discovery that no it was star trek next generation yeah so he’s reprising his role and that was a role of a lifetime yeah yeah so that’s going to be online um on cbs all access

(1:11:19) uh starting in 2020 and then yeah i also have my first feature film which is top gun maverick uh tom cruise is coming back and that was also a dream to work on yeah i bet yeah so some fun things are in the works i have a really blessed that’s incredible i’m excited for all that yes and then where can um where can our listeners find you online yes and you can find me online on instagram at chelsea31 i’m super active on there i love when people message me comment um let me know if anything in this conversation touched you

(1:12:00) yes oh wait at chelsea harris31 nice okay cool um i think it was right i heard it i’m sure i just want to make sure our listeners are the right place to go yeah cool um well chelsea this is so cool this is like i know i’m just like getting to e-meet you i know jade knows you in person but hopefully we’ll get to hang some time and this has been fantastic i love the work that you’re doing not only of course on the on the big screen but also just for especially young women who are looking at people in the entertainment

(1:12:34) industry and wanting to thinking they want to be that or comparing themselves to that or whatever it is that’s you know um bringing up our young our youth you’re helping to make that something that’s relatable and attainable and healthy so thank you healthy yes that’s a good word to end with healthy yeah thank you so much chelsea for sharing your light with us my pleasure this is so much fun yeah all right awesome um so you don’t have to do anything yeah you don’t have to have anything you have to have one like center audio

(1:13:14) and stuff and it was a big process so it’s it’s kind of fun now to say you don’t have to do anything yeah it used to be a headache you have no idea um oh gosh i can only imagine so we’ll um we’ll whenever we air this we’ll make like a few promo videos and send them your way and we’ll be tagging you and all that stuff so i’ll give you a heads up when that’s coming up yeah next month yeah thank you so much yeah and you can keep the mic for whatever you can use it for are you sure

(1:13:44) yes well in that case yeah yeah this was seriously so much fun and i love the work that the two of you are doing thank you yeah and especially from from your vantage point because i feel like there needs to be strong bridges between having conversations about about you know a spiritual mystical the you know what are these ancient tools and like how do we also ground those in in real life yeah make it happen yeah we’re trying our hardest on that i think you’re doing it i think you’re doing it oh thank you that means a lot

(1:14:23) to hear we question ourselves a lot so thank you well just remember literally what we talked about for this episode all right girl thank you so much we will talk to you later we’re going to finish up the show if you will hit the end call on your end and we will yeah you soon hopefully thank you bye babe have a good bless your night bye thank you too all right ah she’s just the sweetest i really really really she just like radiates beauty it really does like inside and out it’s amazing it’s amazing people i

(1:15:02) know you’re just listening to this on this podcast but i want to just say that that’s that’s a real thing there are people on this planet yeah radiates pure genuine honest raw beauty yes it does it exists and it comes i think when people are like unapologetically themselves and they’re comfortable in their own skin and that’s really hard to come to right and that’s what i wanted to say is i of course she’s beautiful she’s a model and actress and all these things uh outside but we can all step into that type of

(1:15:37) energetic beauty yeah so you you know doesn’t matter what you look like where you’re starting from what you all those things that we think are are so much of what beauty means all the external stuff forget about it and just do the work of stepping into it from the inside out like like chelsea was saying yeah love that jade what’s your magic trick i could go on all day about this so um [Music] my magic trick is you know we mentioned the bullying that we’ve all kind of encountered when we were kids um

(1:16:11) about our hair and you know the racism that we brought up and stuff like that and so my magic trick is for it it’s for parents or future parents or aunts uncles whatever if a child comes to you and is crying because someone called them stupid or ugly or you know anything of the sort instead of just um telling them that those people are wrong or that they’re bullies or or trying to get them to understand why that person did that instead just say i mean you can do that too but make sure that you ask well are you

(1:16:49) because doing that is going to challenge them to get to know themselves outside of the opinions of others and it’s going to teach them to question the assumptions they have about themselves as well and i also wanted to add a quick story that my pastor shared um he has an eight-year-old daughter and um she had classmates pass her a note that was calling her fat or chubby or whatever and she brought it home and she was you know crying in her room and just really sad and um when he got home he just went in her room and he wrapped her up and he just

(1:17:30) held her and he just told her you’re so beautiful you’re so beautiful and not everybody has someone some kids go home and they keep that to themselves some kids don’t have a dad that reaffirms them like that you know but i think it’s just so important that especially right now when bullying is rampant especially on including online now which is way worse than when we were kids i think it’s so important that we’re not only talking to our kids about not being a bully but that we’re

(1:17:59) constantly you know teaching them and telling them yeah yeah their truth yeah i um i was the type of kid who didn’t tell anybody anything i mean literally anything even when i was like you know not a kid anymore teenager i guess when i i ended up getting breast lumps you know in my in my breasts and i i went to planned parenthood to assess my breast lumps because i didn’t want to tell my parents that i was possibly had breast cancer you know like i didn’t and obviously that’s the most scariest thing you think

(1:18:34) oh i’m gonna die because all the health classes you go to tell you if you find a lump you’re like in trouble go down you didn’t have google back then yeah well i it was enough whatever i had because i was scared shitless but nobody knew because i wouldn’t tell anybody for whatever my own reasons were but um i think that that’s that’s really incredible what you’re saying like just making the time and space to go be with your children and hold that type of loving space with them and sit with them and say i love you so much

(1:19:04) you’re so beautiful or whatever the words are that come to you um just you are enough yeah just telling your kids that and just hugging them and yeah like just a touch from a parent that type of like loving touch is says so many words just in that like you are wanted you are loved you are you know this this beautiful being that i want near me you know all those things so what’s your magic what’s your magic trick i mean oh my goodness i got a lot of magic all right don’t leave me here all night all right

(1:19:47) so my magic trick today is um confidence hack it’s really three confidence hacks or or three ways to raise your self-esteem and i’m gonna make this kind of specifically for men um it can play into the realm of women as well you’ll see when i what i’m talking about when i start talking here about it it’s inspired by something i saw on youtube a channel called the distilled man so it’s a little more male focused but so first thing you want to implement is like chelsea our guest today was saying move

(1:20:28) your body and jaden i repeat this all the time on the show it is so freaking important for emotion yeah just move your body the best way to get out of your head where all the negative self-esteem draining thoughts live is to actually move your body and this is like i was talking about earlier this is going to help you physiologically change your state of mind by allowing you to produce feel good endorphins that reduce anxiety and i actually a little quick story on this used to work with an announcer at supercross who

(1:20:59) before every show we would be backstage and he’d be jumping up and down jumping jumping jumping i mean like jumping for like a minute straight which is if you’ve ever tried to jump from a minute straight it’s actually a lot harder than it sounds just to get his adrenals flowing because you’ve got to move that negative anxiety and and you know those feelings through your body and when you’re talking about self-confidence or self-esteem a lot of that stuff that is you feel like it’s just you you know it’s just

(1:21:29) who you are and you’re not confident you don’t have high self-esteem is [ __ ] because it’s just chemicals that it actually can be moved through your body and removed from your body so um and even if you can’t exercise you can just deliberately adjust your posture so this is like a little sideline on that you can adjust your posture and you can that has some really positive effects it’s just like power posing i don’t know if you’ve heard of power posing before but this is something where you can just be putting

(1:21:59) you know standing straight up with really really straight posture with your hands on your hips like in a superhero pose hold a pose like that for two minutes and that’s actually said to lower your cortisol and raise testosterone levels which can produce a calming effect and make you more relaxed and and more confident so that’s a little tidbit there and then number two is take a calculated risk i know that might seem a little backwards since you’re probably thinking that in order to take a risk you need to have

(1:22:27) confidence but i i don’t agree i truly believe that it takes about 15 seconds of bravery to conquer just about any moment where you feel afraid to take a leap of faith so if you’re single try talking to that girl you’ve been wanting to get to know or if there’s a skill you’ve been wanting to improve sign up for a class for it attend a conference or take a trip where you don’t know anyone else i i love this tip because stepping out of your comfort zone can skyrocket your confidence even if it

(1:22:54) doesn’t go the way you hoped for just because of the simple fact that you actually had the balls to try something new in the first place and and after a while i don’t know about anyone else but for me it’s like you kind of get addicted of this idea of looking fear in the face because it creates so much positive momentum in your life you know that’s probably why my favorite saying is that seek the pain for positive gain because that’s where this come from like go into the the the stuff that it scares you because i

(1:23:24) promise you if you do that the worst case scenario is it doesn’t pan out yet you still did it i mean that’s better than not doing it and staying stagnant okay and then number three my last item on boosting um self-esteem is related to something we’ve all heard of which is positive self-talk and although i do believe using positive affirmations and using positive speech to psych yourself up does work in the moment it’s kind of tough to make it a habit and we often fall back into our old patterns of of

(1:23:55) doubting ourselves so i want to suggest instead of using affirmations where you’re basically telling yourself that you know you’ve attained something that you haven’t actually attained yet like i’m a i’m an incredible dancer i’m extremely confident never get embarrassed you know these are the things you’d say to yourself which can actually they do give you a little jolt of good chemicals and can get you into that mode of okay i’m going to take those good chemicals and run with them

(1:24:19) and use that 15 second you know be brave for 15 seconds that those chemicals last and jump into the thing you you want to want to try out but instead of the positive affirmation try using positive assertions so this is something new i learned and positive assertions are things you can legitimately summon on your own so for instance you could use the assertion i am willing as in i am willing to become a good dancer and i am willing to make a fool of myself on the dance floor to impress the ladies so it’s kind of putting the words

(1:24:59) into a context that make you go you know what that is totally true and that really allows you to align with that statement i think they can be powerful in building self-esteem yeah yeah i like that it reminds me of um [Music] a lot of what we talked about in sexual attraction which we still haven’t aired but we will just wait guys oh god i like that a lot though um and it’s perfect for this episode i think also cool i hope someone gets something good out of it yeah all right magic mobbers thank you so much for tuning in and taking this

(1:25:39) journey with us if this episode held some magic for you please share it with your friends and family this would mean so much to us you guys and don’t forget to join us on our instagram page at the magic hour and let us know what your favorite episodes have been so far we appreciate all your feedback and want to know what’s lighting you up yes and as you already know we release a new episode every monday so you can catch us again next week or go listen to some of our past episodes in the podcast library right now we will

(1:26:10) meet you there until then be alive big thank you to at rayton royal for our intro jam and to john aaron garza from real in motion productions for producing the show stay magical friends all right um that reminds me we need to do the intro probably one more go just because i liked it the way it was i didn’t okay you you’re good with the full read mm-hmm okay and then the bio that i did while she was on i liked her reaction to my stumble because i just felt a little bit more genuine okay um but that reminds me i’m going to save

(1:26:44) this rayton royal