(00:01) zoom and on audacity okay i’m hitting record on audacity all right all right i’m letting this plane pass by that’s really loud for some reason wow that is really loud it’s like low to the ground yeah i think it’s a helicopter i don’t know go away did you already send her the link yeah i send it whenever i send it to you because it’s the same oh yeah yeah okay all right it’s almost gone okay greetings boys and babes it’s the magic hour a place where we navigate through life’s peaks and valleys with all the

(00:41) vulnerability and shamelessness we can muster with the help of world-class guests from all walks of life we uncover new truths and valuable tools for manifesting our highest potential i’m your host mercedes terrell along with my partner in shine jade bryce hey you guys we’ve got a really fun episode for you today because it’s all about how to please a woman in bed we want every man listening to walk away from this episode feeling more confident in the bedroom and every woman listening to come away from this owning her

(01:12) sexuality a little bit more yeah such important info we got coming at you today it’s our hopes that you’ll gain a few tools from this episode on how to please your lover and gain a little courage to ask questions about what your lover may want so let’s get it down i mean her on shall we sarah rose is the founder of tantric activation she’s a certified sex coach and specializes in men’s sexuality as a sex coach sarah works with men to help them become advanced lovers and sexual masters sarah understands that sexuality is

(01:47) linked to confidence in all areas of life and from premature hey i’ll just start that over because i actually needed to ask you how to pronounce the lineage name hi sarah can you i wonder if she can see it oh i can’t hear her yet okay i’m here okay i want to move this chair though because i don’t love this light behind me let me turn it this way okay just got to my hotel a little bit ago i need to work on my posture i know look at me because we’re always on the podcast and i’m always like this

(02:28) i know like really tuning in me too oh that looks good but better yeah i’ll be right back guys one second light in my skin yeah i’ll be right back okay she’s got toddlers i can hear one of them screaming they’re supposed to be asleep but it doesn’t always work out like that of course i have two of my own where are you now i’m in la right now oh cool i live in austin though where do you live i’m in orange county jade’s in austin okay cool yeah so i’m nearby where you’re at what

(03:04) are you doing in nelly i’m doing a uh promo video actually for a anal sex toy oh that’s fun that hotel has a lot of artwork i feel like for a hotel for the price yeah is it airbnb is a hotel no it’s a hotel it’s wow the nomad it’s like a five-star it was pretty expensive yeah i don’t know of it but i don’t go to la that often to be honest even though i’m right here yeah okay okay how do you pronounce your lineage uh which lineage the jean jacques jiu-jitsu it’s john just like john john john john

(03:58) john jack so the only thing that was different was gene so it’s john john jacques machado okay okay you can hear me all right uh-huh cool so you’re you just check your audio on the bottom left of zoom’s screen where you see us there um there’s like a little it says mute but right next to the arrow click that okay and then it should give it should tell you you’re on your i guess you don’t have did she get a mic jade it was the one that was returned oh [ __ ] okay so then you’re just in

(05:01) built-in out or input and built-in output or what does it say for you a macbook air microphone external headphones okay should be okay all right usually we get a mic to you guys but sometimes yeah for some reason amazon said that it got damaged so um sorry about that um okay so um mercedes you want to start from the top or just start at her bio let’s just start at her bio we don’t i mean either way really but i think let’s just start at our bio because um um yeah hold on one second so i can break this before we start

(05:49) okay okay and so you’re still recording on audacity right jade yeah cool all right i’m ready when you are ready all right ready sarah rose is the founder of tantric activation she’s a certified sex coach and specializes in men’s sexuality as a sex coach sarah works with men to help them become advanced lovers and sexual masters sarah understands that sexuality is linked to confidence in all areas of life and from premature ejaculation to difficulty getting hard to porn addiction to inability to bring their woman to orgasm

(06:27) sarah guides men through these issues and more so that they can reach their goals it’s also worth mentioning that she’s a jujitsu athlete in the jean jacques machado lineage all the while training men to be black belt in bed please help me welcome sarah rose to the show hey hey what’s up sarah i’m so glad to be here we’re glad to have you too two badass women so sarah let’s get right into it because we have so much to cover here um so i noticed that yeah so much um down your questions and there’s still a

(07:08) lot so yeah um i noticed that a lot of what you offer actually starts with working with the inner child and healing and looking at core needs and core wounds talk to us about how this goes into a man’s confidence in the bedroom yeah it really does i mean men in modern society have a lot of pressure sexually and they have so much societal expectations and so much around what it means to be a man what that looks like how he’s supposed to perform in bed and work and marriage and fatherhood all of this and it really

(07:45) does start with the inner child because even i mean this starts boys are affected by this from a young age you know just comments like you know grow up be a man at your age things like that and they start to shape men to be a certain way and it affects us in bed everything you know and so part of the work that i do with men in private coaching does go back into that inner child work so that way they can begin to to look at that piece of them and find their authentic self uh rather than just projecting what they’ve

(08:27) literally been brainwashed by in society that’s a lot i mean that’s a lot to take on generally as a coach you know like that’s a lot of stuff to to help someone dig through and i feel like when it comes to uh the male of the species they’re even more resistant to looking into those places and themselves because of the you know we want to call it the masculine yeah culture that they’re raised in or whatever it’s a hard place to start and that’s where you need to start so that’s a tough battle i

(09:03) bet you’re you’re fighting with that you know it’s really interesting it’s cool because women are leading the way with this like there are so many really strong empowered women who are standing up and saying guys we want you to do this work that’s what i was thinking women are saying that this is what we’re attracted to now and so men are it’s becoming yeah yeah exactly and so women are really changing the dynamic of the way sexuality is experienced and a lot of guys feel like they don’t know what to

(09:35) do in this new paradigm of the sexually empowered woman and so i’m able to really help and guide them there you know in a way that like i’m yeah i don’t i approach sex throughout sexuality very frankly and with good humor and also with good sensitivity and guys can often resonate with me because i’m able to get them into the mind of the modern woman into the body of the modern woman in a way that they haven’t been able to find access before yeah absolutely i think that what you’re doing and we’re going to dive way deeper

(10:14) into it but what you’re doing is a huge a huge expression of feminism i mean of what feminism is and the feminist movement is and that’s you know being this um safe place to let all people include men very much included express who they really are so that they can get to the root of whatever their things that are ailing them and move forward and progress forward and i think that really is what the feminine quality that women you know tend to reside in brings to this planet i think that’s what the feminist movement should be about i mean

(10:53) there’s a lot of other ways that it’s being misconstrued right now but i really appreciate the way that you’re standing up for for modern masculinity and and being a voice for that because i think it’s something that’s lacking in a big way right now so thank you for that i i looked up your your couple’s coaching and browse through some of the session topics so i wanted to just touch on a few here because i got to know a little a little more about them um so couples breath work the more

(11:22) straightforward one but then there’s sandbox sandboxing love making or sandbox love making is that what it is sandboxing sand boxing lovemaking and of course [ __ ] and penis massage which i can imagine what that is but can you just touch on these a bit for me and by the way everything i say seems like a sexual pun now so can i know these also can you just touch on me so some of what actually a lot of what i teach is proprietary information passed down to me through my coach and so um some things i’m only able to discuss in

(12:00) private coaching uh but um [ __ ] and penis massage that is pretty uh straightforward and it’s it’s such an amazing connective experience that is really i love it for all couples and it’s a time when the couple can just be together sexually but without any expectations and so it’s an entire hour devoted to him um giving her internal massage in her her vulva her vagina cervix all of it is being stimulated but without any expectation of reciprocation like she doesn’t she’s not expected to pleasure him

(12:48) she’s not expected to orgasm she’s not expected to have pleasure she’s just there having the experience of whatever comes up for her and it’s very very healing it’s also referred to as de-armoring the vagina because the vagina can hold so much trauma from all of the experiences of sexual harassment sexual abuse just living in a sex negative culture causes women to to basically like harden in a way their their vagina so they they numb out they desensitize they’re not really able to experience pleasure because they hold so

(13:25) much in the soft tissue there and so this experience allows them to be able to heal that um and then it’s and then for men it’s her um giving him testicle massage penis massage also for an hour and the whole thing is guided uh so it’s actually a video that shows them step by step this is what you do now this is what you do now this is what you do now and it’s guided audio um and so it helps the couple be able to go through it in a very relaxed way and it’s it’s really healing for both you

(14:03) know many guys that have um that struggle with erectile dysfunction they can’t get hard like sex can be very stressful you know on the couple and this is a way for them to connect intimately and also to work towards healing that in a holistic way together as a couple wow that’s really interesting and for some reason it made me think of um when you brought up men having issue with erectile dysfunction and being such a stressful thing do you think that’s one of the driving factors of porn addiction today

(14:38) because i mean that’s a much easier way to go about getting off instead of being with an actual human right yeah i think that there is some link between the two because you know that because of the pressure that men are under societally to perform and as these sexual beings it is easier to just watch porn and then they they watch porn or they start watching porn from a young age and they become habituated to orgasming in that way in that environment and so become can become more difficult to get hard with a live

(15:17) woman right um and so like i definitely don’t think the porn is a negative thing like i think there’s there can be value in porn but um i just encourage guys like or let them actually see that whatever what what results do you want to get right like do you are you happy with with the results you’re getting watching porn or is that what you’re excited about is that what your true desire is then then great do that but if your real desire is to be with a woman to have intimacy with her to be able to

(15:56) you know experience deep pleasure between the two of you let that be a majority of your experience so if you’re doing like a 50 50 uh split i would say you know even do like 60 being with a woman 40 porn just have your majority be in the direction that your real desire is what about so um i know you said the couple’s breath work you you can only talk about in your training but i was curious um if like we’ve talked with a couple guests before that we’ve had on the show where you sink your breathing

(16:30) do do you notice like a dramatic change in the sex when couples do that prior yeah absolutely and breath work is a very important part of tantra and there are quite a few different tantric breaths that couples can do together but yes synchronizing the breath is is a really good thing and it helps when couples do that even if they just set aside like five minutes of doing that before they begin to make love then it helps them connect with more intimacy and more connection and the whole experience ends up being more

(17:09) beautiful and they just get more out of it there’s more richness to sex and then um you know if they they have been trained and they know the different breath techniques they can actually do that while they’re having sex and yeah and that gets really cool how how would you introduce like sinking your breath to someone that’s never even heard of tantra and you’re you know they’ve become your partner and you’re like want to sing a breath with them how would you how would you introduce that

(17:41) to them well you know i think most people have it well i shouldn’t say most but a lot of people have at least heard of tantra they might have a strange idea of what it actually that’s what i think most people have is a strange idea yeah it’s a foreign thing and it’s not for me because it’s you know foreign is scary somehow i know exactly and that’s kind of my mission is making tantra just accessible to everyone you know i think it doesn’t have to be weird at all literally the foundational components of

(18:13) what i teach people are breath movement focus and sound like how foreign is that you know it’s not it’s just the way we put it together in a specific way for specific intentions and you know so it’s something that is really is accessible to everyone um but uh so you know an easy way to start breath work with a partner is sitting across from them just like knee to knee eye to eye and you can look each other in the eye and just begin inhaling and exhaling at the same time just synchronizing your breath in a

(18:53) very simple way that’s a good place to start hmm do you i mean i i would assume most guys want to be open to improving their sex life so they’d be open to something that seems you know a little out there for their ex you know from their experience but um most men i’ve been with would not want to sink our breath no no not all but most i think it felt it would it would have felt too like forced for them maybe i don’t know i’m not sure why do you have you experienced that a lot sarah in your work that people have

(19:29) resistance to it yeah guys definitely do have resistance until they experience it it takes a lot of vulnerability and but once they actually guys have a lot of curiosity because they’re curious they want to know like how is this going to make me better in bed because every guy wants to be better in bed and i mean most tricks do too like it’s just something like we want to be better in bed um and then but once they actually experience once they’re able to have you know take the risk i guess take the plunge and realize it’s really not

(20:05) that weird and it actually does help they kind of get hooked they’re like okay that was good i like it let’s do it again makes funny sense i was also extremely intrigued by your sex stallion course topics um and i’ll list them here for our listeners and you can you can um let us know what you can talk about but it’s strengthening your pc muscle edging separating orgasm from ejaculation multiple perpetual and full body orgasms and i know you can’t fit seven weeks of training into an episode but if you can

(20:38) just give us maybe some cliff notes um so that people know what they would i guess expect to yeah so sex stalin stallion training is my core product that i recommend for all guys these these are the basics these are the fundamentals of tantric sex in this um seven week series they will get how to sound how to move how to focus and how to breathe in a way that benefits them sexually and what they’ll realize is that most of what they’ve been doing in these areas during sex have actually been inhibiting them

(21:18) sexually it’s been limiting their sexual experience and one of the things i tell guys is their [ __ ] are so powerful and they are literally like only utilizing them about ten percent wow yeah and it’s like the amount of power that they have the energy that they have the way they can penetrate a woman with their [ __ ] like the way like what their [ __ ] is actually the way their [ __ ] is actually designed to penetrate a woman like not just the physical but like emotionally like how they can really just go so deep inside of her and these

(21:57) principles these techniques will help them to get there and so i incorporate those and then yes it is strengthening their pc muscle it’s that muscle between their anus and their balls they have to have that muscle strong and with age it gets weaker and weaker but that muscle is the muscle that controls ejaculation so many guys struggle with premature ejaculation all 75 of guys ejaculate within one to three minutes of penetration strengthening this muscle is just that weak that muscle being weak so that is

(22:35) part of it um it’s also habituation the way that they’ve masturbated since they were 12 years old getting off as quickly as possible you know that way they’re not they don’t get caught that type of thing but it’s also genetic so if you think about um you know being back in tribal society where they’re like out in this primitive environment they could get attacked by a tiger like it was in our benefit for the guy to ejaculate quickly we didn’t want to be out there making love for four hours right

(23:09) you’re in a vulnerable state so they um so those genes got passed on um because also you know a quicker the more quickly a guy ejaculated the more likely his sperm would get inside of her and so those are the genes that got passed on so you know fast forward however many thousands billions of years and here we are and now women are like ah we actually don’t like that we’ve gotta rewrite the code that we have in there and luckily tantra is a good hack to doing that it really helps so strengthening the

(23:50) pc muscle what about what is edging uh so so yeah edging is getting so when guys are masturbating um sex stallion training is a masturbation based course so it’s a guided audio i’m guiding them they’re listening to it while they masturbate and it’s step by step do this do this do this so um i will lead them on a scale of one to ten tens ejaculating zero is having lunch with grandma and [Applause] visually amazing okay baseball cold showers margaret thatcher wet not cold day so at um you know i’ll have them get

(24:38) hard to like a six or a seven and they’re kind of keeping it right there and then i’ll bring them up to an eight or a nine and then have them go back down back up back down and that just trains them to be able to control their ejaculation you know most guys they get this runaway train sensation where it’s like i gotta come i gotta come i gotta come i gotta come you know it’s like their dick takes over and they have no control done yeah what is that are they afraid it’s never going to happen again i mean like

(25:17) because i am yeah i am afraid for me just kidding on behalf of women everywhere we’re all afraid of that um yeah i had never heard of edging and so that must go into also separating orgasm from ejaculation because you’re are you teaching them to abstain from ejaculation so they can have multiple orgasms or yes so i don’t teach them to not ejaculate because it’s actually really healthy for a guy to ejaculate there are some traditions of tantra that teach a guy to not ejaculate if that’s his preference you know go for it

(25:57) i personally um incorporate modern science with what i teach and modern science urologists will say will show over and over again the more guy ejaculates the healthier he is the longer he’s going to live the less proud to prostate cancer yeah so so ejaculation is good in in uh indian yoga contra it’s really ejaculation of both male and females very celebrated so ejaculate all you want but what i think is how to be in control of ejaculate ejaculation and so one of the things that most people don’t realize is that

(26:36) ejaculation and orgasm are two separate acts and they have um evolved to happen almost simultaneously because nature wants us to experience the pleasure of orgasm at the same time they’re ejaculating to enticemen to ejaculate in order to procreate and so um but they’re actually two separate acts and orgasm typically occurs slightly before ejaculation does and so when guys start to realize this they can notice it and with a strong pc muscle with the practice of edging they can actually have the orgasm and then they

(27:17) can stop the ejaculation from happening and once they’re able to do that then they can begin to have multiple orgasms like a woman can and they’re able to have full body orgasms they can begin moving the sexual energy through their body and most guys find that when they really master this it feels much better than just the typical ejaculation which i’ve heard so many guys describe as it’s really just feels like a crotch sneeze and when they after they’ve had tantric orgasms they’re like wow i don’t ever really go

(27:56) back to that again oh my goodness how about for a woman is a tantric orgasm different than a regular orgasm for a woman yes absolutely so women can orgasm in all parts of their bodies i’ll never forget the first time i had a heart orgasm and yeah it literally felt like my heart was just oh my god how did you have that uh so it’s through moving sexual energy women edge also so that’s part of the tantric practice for women is like bringing yourself to the brink of orgasm bringing and then backing off up and down so

(28:30) you’re really building up those orgasmic sensations in the body and through breath and through focus moving the sexual energy to different parts of the body and so you can have orgasm in your throat you know have orgasm in your third eye and your crown like you can orgasm like focusing on that part of the body while you’re about to orgasm and it’s bringing but it’s it’s focusing it there so it’s bringing the energy up through with your breath and your focus to that part of the body and then you actually

(29:05) that sexual energy that you usually feel in your genitals is now move to that part of your body such as your heart and so you have the orgasm there man i really want to learn this yeah it’s really cool it makes me think of like kundalini practice or a little bit moving the snake yeah um yeah i every morning i um like tune into my seven chakras before i get out of bed and then when my kids are napping is my masturbation time in bed and so now i’m thinking like i’m gonna be focusing on my seven chakras during

(29:41) that and but that it sounds like that’s um takes time to figure out syncing um so you know you can actually learn it more quickly than most people think so it does take practice it does take you know some dedication to do it but it’s uh when i i remember when i was working with my coach i actually was like i’m gonna go to tulum for two weeks by myself and do these practices that she had given me and i was able to really get that within about a week like it didn’t take that much time so if you really focus on it i

(30:22) mean granted i was doing the practices all day every day this is like just homework rough life but exhausting man i love your job [Laughter] i gotta go on that show dirty jobs it’s a whole nother oh that’s really funny all right so so what can we do as women to own our sexuality in a way that makes a man more confident in the bedroom it’s it is a two-way road you know most of my like my online course and my private coaching those are for men if you see my instagram it’s all focused uh towards men and so a lot of guys will come to me and

(31:12) be like what doesn’t she need to know this too and it’s like yeah you know so it is a two-way street for sure uh because of the society that we live in that is male led male dominated women are accustomed to and we actually have it in our dna now from so many thousands of years of doing this that we follow the lead of the man and so i find that when a guy is trained in tantra a woman will naturally follow his lead with it and also women tend to feel energy these things more easily than men do and so it’s easier for them to kind of pick

(32:02) up on it whereas if if a woman is trained in it and a guy doesn’t get it it’s kind of like let’s just have conventional sex because it’s just not gonna happen that’s that’s always my thing i’m like if i if i’m with a guy that isn’t trained in tantra i don’t even i don’t even go there i’m just like all right conventional sex we’re just gonna [ __ ] and have fun um but but women really need to heal their core wounding you know we have so much wounding in the feminine there’s so

(32:34) much anger towards the masculine that needs to heal and it’s very valid it’s very righteous anger and we can’t just stay stuck in that place we’ve got to heal we’ve got to move through it so that way we can all get to the place where we really want to be you know and so women have a hard time many women have a hard time orgasming when i teach my women’s class that i do every fall in austin it’s an in-person class a lot of women come in and they’ve never had an orgasm during sex i was

(33:07) just about to ask if that was normal i have not either yeah i can only orgasm during oral or penetrate like um you know through the clitoris but i cannot i’ve never orgasm during sex yeah and a lot of women experience that and again that’s two part you know it’s like women can can train their bodies to be able to orgasm during sex and guys need to you know be able to do a better job of getting them there as well um but i went a really long time without having orgasm during sex and now even if i’m

(33:43) with a guy who’s not a good lover i can still orgasm just because i’ve trained train my body in that way what are some ways to train it uh i’m just having lots of orgasms oh really it’s practice huh yeah i mean i’ve had more in the last few weeks by myself than i’ve had in years uh-huh so maybe i’ll get there then we hope so it’s a massage if you do it with another partner when i teach women they do it with a glass dildo and yeah so actually lead them through the process of de-armoring their vagina uh

(34:24) with using a glass dildo why glass uh just because it doesn’t have any toxins it’s clean material i encourage women to not use any vibrators during the time that we’re working together because we’re really working on increasing sensitivity and vibrators can decrease sensitivity and so the glass just kind of helps that process how do we get men off the idea of wanting to just you know ram it in right away and not take the time to slow down and make sure that the girl is on board and ready and you know

(35:04) wet enough and all the things that you need to be in order to receive pleasurably you know women yeah women just advertisement psa this needs to be the show’s advertisement it really is and it it comes down to women speaking up you know guys just don’t know they don’t get it and you know if there’s a guy that you’re speaking up to and he just doesn’t respect that then you need to [ __ ] walk away and the more women realize the power of the [ __ ] the faster this world is going to change because you know it’s like if i’ve

(35:45) definitely met guys that just don’t respect it and i’m like [ __ ] you get away from my body like literally like you’re not coming anywhere near here done and you’ll never call me it causes it to harden when you’ve been with someone that barely kisses you before ramming it in like mercedes said then you there you’re right there is a hardening there that like then it’s like almost like well is my sex drive gone and it’s not gone it’s just because it’s been hardened and then you have right

(36:09) armor like you said so like two weeks we talked about this a little bit with milk um a former guest of ours and she talked about the fact that whenever you know from her past experiences from when she was younger and being in a relationship that wasn’t healthy she had hardened essentially to men in this in the sense of every time they would come before her or if they would um in any way you know like we’re saying these i don’t know if you want to call it forces full with it but it’s you know it’s

(36:41) before you’re asking for it essentially it’s before you’re like really begging for it which i think you you know guys listening wait till the chick is begging you for it that’s the right time and not before then that’s the right time but then that’s also what she said with them leading because i noticed because i’m still working out of i’ve been i have felt sexually suppressed for a long time and i’m still working my way out of that but i noticed that i struggle with making

(37:05) um like initiating sex and that’s something that i want to gain not i wouldn’t say gain confidence in but just feel um more i don’t know brazen wait before we answer that question i do want to finish my thought with milk because the point was that um her story was that she noticed that every time a man would come at her that way and be um basically come before her especially or and and i bring that into my own life where it’s like tr uh wanting to ram it in before i’m ready for it um that feels like you’re just using my

(37:43) body and that’s what milk’s point was was it felt like her she was just being used at that point it wasn’t a mutual thing it was all about one person you know so yeah how do we take that selfishness away like how do we change that aspect of it from i i don’t know i mean i don’t know it’s frustrating yeah you’re absolutely right i mean every time that we that they you know go inside of us before we’re ready anytime they come before we’re done and they’re done before we done

(38:17) it just feel leaves us feeling let down and in relationship it really just it cuts off the trust you know because if a woman can’t trust him in bed she’s going to feel like she can’t trust him in life and so it really does impact the relationship in a big way and so you know guys really need to understand that like if they want to have a woman that is all over them like wanting them then they need to show up in bed and you know and so we’re we’re definitely past the days of women being dependent

(38:57) on men like women can we can totally survive without a guy we go into a relationship we go into a relationship with men now out of desire not out of necessity and so in order for us to have these thriving relationships that we now can rightfully declare that we desire um yeah and deserve yeah it takes both parties really showing up and that actually answers my question already because when like you were saying it feels um when they do that then um uh i don’t remember the words you use that it makes you feel but it makes me

(39:38) feel like undervalued like okay you don’t want to please me so you must not really give a [ __ ] about me yeah hold me in a high regard like you’re just you’re gonna let yourself be pleased and then here i am you know like so i’m just regretting in a sense right yeah it is right and so you feel forgotten and like um unprioritized so have i’m noticing with the lovers i’ve had who did please me every time i did initiate it because i wanted to be pleased too you know so i’m noticing now

(40:09) that majority though of the lovers i’ve had or the lovers i’ve had for long periods of time that did not please me i i just got out of practice of initiating it because it felt once so one-sided already like well what that’s an interesting concept i wonder you know what the the chicken no i just wonder if that would be how many people overall that would apply to in this in the situation that you hear over and over again of my wife no longer wants to have sex with me it’s like okay but did you ask yourself the question of are you

(40:44) a giver you know have you been really giving in bed with her is there a reason why she would want to have sex with you yeah it’s no longer about one man i was with that i would he would give me like 13 orgasms every time and i wanted to have sex that was when my sex drive was the strongest so it makes perfect sense if you’re making sure that she’s is that right sarah or is there another reason why women oh no you’re absolutely you’re absolutely right and that’s women they just shut down it’s exactly like

(41:15) you said i get message after message after message from men saying what happened why doesn’t she want to have sex with me it used to be great and she doesn’t want to have sex anymore but it wasn’t great for her huh it wasn’t great for her you know and her body shuts down she loses interest she gets bored also that’s the other thing it’s like so how do we get men to understand this without putting so much pressure on them that they shut down well i mean i think there’s a different type of

(41:43) pressure right so the societal pressure of a guy being like this you know the sexual fantasy of um you know it is just like the ready he’s gotta throw me against the wall he’s gotta yeah just like the throbbing hard [ __ ] all the time like there’s that but then there’s the the real pressure of like most guys are in relationship with a woman and they want to be desired by her and so i don’t think that’s really pressure that’s more reality and you know and so like these these guys that message me they want her to

(42:24) want them you know like who doesn’t that’s attractive you feel like you’re a sexual god if she desires you or you know and that’s and that’s another thing for women like women’s desire really thrives on feeling desired too and so if she she’s gonna get turned on if she really feels like he’s really into her and so if a guy’s you know kind of slipping and being lazy and expressing his desire for her she’s just kind of gonna be like he’s not really into me i’m not really turned on so yeah

(42:58) i feel like there’s a serious correlation i mean it’s it’s not a correlation part of nurturing a relationship and showing up for a relationship is showing up for your sex life and nurturing your sex life and making sure that that is just as sound as everything else going on in your relationship so i guess maybe the way to think of it is you know guys if you’re if you’re okay with going to uh read a relationship book or go to counseling or whatever the thing is that might help your relationship get to the next level

(43:34) that you want it to to get to or even just sitting down and talking to your chick and maybe making a date night every week i don’t know what stage of your life and relationship you’re in but similarly you know how would you take that into the realm of sex with your significant other you know how would you find ways to nurture it whether it be read or go you know read a tantric book or go take one of your your class uh your workshops or whatever it is but these are all ways we work on our relationship and sex is such

(44:04) an integral and important part of it takes a lot of vulnerability for people to break out of that stage because they feel like they just to even ask the questions like i’m curious what questions a woman can ask a man and what questions a man can ask a woman besides just how can i please you like what is a more specific question each of them can ask but it don’t it’s almost for some people it’s like so uncomfortable to ask the question you know how do you jump that or how do you take it out you mean

(44:33) yeah one of the exercises that i love to get give couples because it doesn’t necessarily have to be just about sex and it can be all parts of their life but um it really opens up communication between them is um what are your deepest fears and what are your deepest desires and just allowing the partner to open up in that space of what of just going for it what are my deepest fears and letting those come to surface and then and like not even talking to you not you know not replying or saying oh okay you know or anything like that just

(45:15) listening just holding space for your partner and then reciprocating and seeing what your deepest fears are and then switching it up and saying what are your deepest desires and allowing your partner to respond and and then going back and forth with that and and that helps couples a lot because it gives you a set space of okay this is what we’re going to do right now we’re having this discussion at this point in time and we’re able to open and connect intimately without any pressure of sex and we agree beforehand we’re not going

(45:50) to argue we’re not going to get offended we’re not going to interrupt we’re just going to allow each other to express and um communication is so important and most people have a really really really really hard time talking about sex yeah everyone is expected to be having a great sex life and most people aren’t feel it feels sacred so even though it seems like we we should i don’t like that word be able to ask these questions because it feels so sacred it just opens up that feeling of vulnerability you

(46:25) know i would say that because so many of us especially in this culture come from a background of shame that we are afraid essentially to talk about this stuff because shame is not only you know maybe religious shame or whatever of feeling good and being worthy of having sexual desires and being worthy of feeling orgasm and that type of thing but also the shame of not being able to perform the way that we think we’re supposed to be able to perform with no one know or how about they give us an answer that we aren’t

(46:59) don’t feel like we can do you know like i don’t think that that i think that most people are like up for it like they’re down to listen to what their partner has to say and maybe even are up for it maybe if it’s something way out there for them it’s scary but it’s probably something they’re still willing to to listen to i think it’s about a matter of not knowing how to do it yet especially for men is scary for women it’s kind of like not knowing how to do it yet makes you like virginal and

(47:25) somehow that’s sexy and in a sense it’s cute yeah and it’s it’s the opposite for men they need to have like been so experienced in all these ways and be an expert in all these things and it’s shameful yeah so sarah what would be a question sexually about how to please a woman how to please a man besides just the simple how can i please you that would be more specific um how can i please you will be more specific i mean i think yeah i i even got asked that question today like what do you what what do you

(48:00) want tonight like how what what is it that gets you off and you even me i’m kind of like i don’t know like what am i supposed to say to this yeah specific maybe it will help the man do it right right and so i i know for myself it’s not as much about the act it’s not you know we don’t need to um plan on uh spanking tonight or we don’t need to plan on hair pulling or you know double penetration or whatever maybe and those things could very well happen and you know i would be ecstatic about

(48:40) it and is there connection there is there intimacy and oh i got chills just when you said connection yeah like am i being seen right and that’s what i try to help guys understand that’s so good like learning all the techniques that is important i’m not devaluing them because they need to know the techniques they need to know how to bring a woman to orgasm okay but once they learn it they need to [ __ ] forget it because so many guys get fixated on the is she receiving pleasure is she having an orgasm i can’t unless i feel

(49:22) connection in the first place so exactly and so it’s like i teach guys like they have to know themself right because if you don’t know yourself if you haven’t come face to face with your own soul your own authentic self how are you gonna be how are you gonna go come face to face with hers and that’s really what she desires and that’s what tantric sex helps guys yeah that’s the sexiest thing there is yeah yeah it makes me think of sexual polarity and the feminine polarity being defined by wanting to feel seen and

(50:00) heard and so if you can just just keep that in mind guys that females want to be seen and heard that is their number one root goal because they’re ruled by feminine energy so how can you make someone feel seen and heard you you have so many options at your disposal but just even by asking the question to to your woman what would you want i want to you know know the things that turn you on isn’t such an intimate and loving question that just that is like exciting for her it does and but what i really see with

(50:37) what in relationship though is that guys that are willing to do their own deep inner term internal work guys that are willing to face their own [ __ ] guys that are willing to get vulnerable with themselves you know the guys that i work with in private coaching we do 10 weeks one on one for an hour a week and these guys [ __ ] face their demons all right and they come out of it and women are like whoa because they are like these are the sexual masters why because they know themselves and you cannot know another person if you don’t

(51:21) even how will we know that yourself yeah intimacy and to me see how how yeah you know and so that’s really the key of it all is knowing yourself and the lovers that i’ve had that have been the most profound lovers are not the ones that know all the special techniques you know yeah i’ve had the dudes that can make me squirt and drench the bed i’ve had you know like whatever it may be like and it’s fun it’s great i enjoy it there’s nothing wrong with it and does it really meet my true desires

(51:56) no but i’ve had lovers that maybe they didn’t know the fancy techniques but they can meet me in such a deep place of intimacy and that is what really filled me up that’s what really finally satiated me [Music] i like that so and before we move on to our next question i just wanted to tack on to the end of what we were talking about earlier with the way that we as women can own our sexuality in a way that makes men more confident in the bedroom that there is a lot of hormonal fluctuation that comes into play with

(52:38) women and knowing ourselves too in that situation is i think huge step not just knowing you know doing the the work on our inner child doing the the work on our subconscious and everything that’s going on in there but knowing how our physical bodies and chemical bodies are responding throughout the month because i mean i for sure know that there are days of the month where i have extremely high sexual appetite and then days where it’s waned quite a bit and if your partner is not in tuned with that as well your male partner is not in tune

(53:16) with that as well then he just thinks you just don’t like him some days you know i mean that’s serious like men don’t think about this stuff i have we’re going to talk about that more on my magic trick later on this episode but that’s a that i mean when i’m not turned on hormonally like when i’m not sexually charged hormonally and i’m in the part of the month of him i could like give or take and like i’m not into sex that way but guys don’t know the damn difference they’re not necessarily

(53:44) tracking your cycles right yeah so i think that’s an important part for men to also keep in their back pocket you know like the we’re hormonal beings we’re chemical beings all of us men have their own cycles too but um knowing what your chick is doing hormonally in that moment is going to be like you’re going to be i think it was mel gibson who did that that movie what women want you’re gonna know you’re gonna be like psychic to her in a lot of ways yeah so we have a question from our magic mob

(54:18) eric godsey a previous guest of ours asks what has she found to be the most useful practical practice she gives men that improves their sexual performance testicle massage that is very very very important for men and it’s something that i wish every single man would do every day of his life really wow it’s really yeah it’s very important um what it does is it really helps connect a man to his sexuality to his sex center and it helps him um integrate that into his daily life and our sexuality is so powerful right

(54:57) and if we if we go into the world with this turned on sexuality um and it’s in a you know it’s in a really like healthy channeled way we can we’re so empowered and there’s so much that we can accomplish and many many men because of um sexual abuse because of living in a culture that identifies men as rapists living with erectile dysfunction living with premature ejaculation so many men get cut off from their sex center and so what testicle massage does is it helps reconnect them to it and many guys that have a hard time

(55:45) getting turned on getting hard they will find that the blood flow starts to increase there they’ll find that they’re able to actually feel i’ve i’ve gone into private coaching with men who when i asked them to scan their body and tell me what they feel in their penis area they don’t feel anything it’s become completely desensitized they are completely cut off from that area of their body they disassociate because it’s really painful um to to experience the the pain that’s going on there so

(56:24) they it’s just easier to disassociate so that’s like so the the intimacy triggers something in their subconscious probably from their young childhood or whatever it is that’s that they’re tucking away and so it’s that’s why they’ve cut it off or what is the it could be many reasons yeah it could be a lot um it could be something from childhood it could be something for adulthood it could even be you know they they broke up with someone that was really special to them and it’s really

(56:52) hard for them to you know have any type of sexual intimacy towards someone else because of that so there are many reasons but it’s um i actually have a video that i sell it’s called fire starter it’s for members only so guys that buy either pussyology or sex stallion training can access fire starter which gives them the video that they can follow along to showing them the way to do tantric testicle massage and that really helps guys a lot it’s only a two to three minute practice they can do it in the

(57:27) shower and it’s it’s something that’s life-changing i feel like there needs to be a dating app for people who have only taken your course i really want to do that actually i wanted all the guys that um i think i saw that on your page right you said hey guys like would you want me to start this thing yeah yeah like all the guys that go through sex stallion training i’ll put them like on on a page so women can find them another certified stamp yeah they got their blue check mark for sex stallion dreams they can they can put it

(58:01) on their tender profile stallion certified oh my god i don’t know that might come across if someone doesn’t know that i know it could but because we know what what type of work you do with that is why it’s so attractive yeah if someone walks around saying he’s a sex stallion i’m like no bro you’re not someone walking around saying they’re enlightened how are you oh that’s funny um okay so another question from the magic mop big cat asks what should i know about pleasuring a woman that i probably

(58:37) wouldn’t think to ask yeah i mean i feel like we’ve touched on this a lot and you know but just being really connected and being in deep intimacy with her slowing down uh and a lot of people will think of tantra as like slow sex and that it can be boring and it’s not about that it’s just slowing down to the point where you can be in tune with your partner’s desires and really feel into her what what is turning her on when her body is saying yes and when her body is saying no so being really aware and conscious of

(59:21) that yeah like learning her sexual love language if anyone’s read the five love languages i feel like maybe contrary to the book for sexual love language right like break down sarah maybe you can write it yeah so one last magic mob question and it comes from a woman jacqueline asks i feel awful saying this but my husband has a small penis the foreplay is great but is there anything we can do to make the sex even better okay so you know that’s an interesting question because like i have sex with women and i can

(59:56) have great sex with no penis you know and so i know that good point penis size isn’t like the everything um and but at the same time i also realized that different women have different preferences when it comes to penis size and you know some women prefer a larger penis some women prefer a more average sized penis and to some women it just doesn’t matter at all and so just like men have different preferences women have different preferences and and you know if you’re whatever your preference is it is like i’m not saying

(1:00:37) you can’t you can’t just change that um but you can still have really great sex and um unfortunately i can’t say like this is a way to necessarily guarantee making the dick bigger but i have had guys go through the program and their partners have noticed their penis gets bigger as their yeah isn’t that awesome i don’t think you’re going to come with a dick enlargement so much working out down there i don’t know yeah i mean i’ve definitely had guys come back and say hey she says it’s

(1:01:16) bigger down there i’m like [ __ ] yeah that’s awesome like every guy every guy wants to hear that yeah you think it has to do with the pc training does it what do you think it’s related to yeah i think it’s just a combination of everything it’s a bringing energy to that area of the body and whatever you’re focusing on is going to magnify and you know it can it can even be an energetic thing where she feels like the [ __ ] has so much more presence so much more power that it feels bigger you know it’s like

(1:01:51) if a guy maybe i’ve had sex with a guy with a huge [ __ ] and he was like most boring [ __ ] of my life right like i never wanted to have sex with him again but then like i hear that all the time about big dick not necessarily because i’ve had a tantric lover that had like super huge dick and he was amazing he like orgasms the last of 10 days and then oh my god in and out of your house clouds above and you never were to see him again where is that one and he’s coming up again [Laughter] oh man yeah he’s a gypsy lover

(1:02:37) so i wonder too if to go back to the question about the um woman dealing with a small penis size of her husband but trying to figure out how to make the sex better is it again you know both side i’m sure it’s two-sided you know like her figuring out how to bring more energy and blood flow and sensation to her vagina and um maybe mentally too because i mean i’ve had um i guess it would be called a wet dream for a female even though it’s not necessarily the same way a guy but i’ve had an orgasm in a dream so i

(1:03:11) know i can mentally orgasm right that’s proved that to me so if women can mentally orgasm then finding ways to stimulate ourselves without even you know having this large penis penetration that’s it’s possible right oh yeah absolutely in my women’s course one of the things that i teach women is how to have energetic orgasms no touch at all wow and so it’s definitely possible and like i said before just a mind thing or uh yeah it’s through movement through breath through sound all those things

(1:03:44) yeah it’s just you’re able to orgasm i mean i can orgasm that way within a couple of minutes just from having so much practice with wow so women can definitely orgasm in many different ways and definitely increasing sensitivity will help and one thing that i’ve actually done before i use a jade egg and you can actually insert that and and you can have it inside while um he’s inside too and so yeah yeah and so that way it takes up more space in there and you know helps feel tighter and it doesn’t hurt

(1:04:29) no no guys actually really yeah they really like it really huh yeah so it’s it’s called a yoni egg right a jadeoni egg uh-huh yeah [Laughter] i mean that’s that’s been my personal experience um there are a lot of uh people out there that say the j day there’s like like you know there’s just that there’s no scientific proof whatever i’m just talking about my own personal experience i’ve done it it felt good okay nice that’s what matters um okay i have to ask you about how you

(1:05:07) correlate jiu jitsu with your workshops your class with your everything to do with sex [Applause] uh stallion training and such well i mean they’re both such a big part of my life that they you know there tends to be some overlap um but they’re also very separate uh you know like i don’t go to jiu jitsu and experience tantric sex such an intimate sport so it’s interesting that i know because you use um you know the different belts climbing the belt classes in a sex stallion training or in um helping men get to

(1:05:48) this place you know a better place sexually or a white belt if they’ve never been trained yeah well and it’s true and you know it helps guys to look at sex in a different way because you know guys that understand martial arts so say you know if two people one day would like okay let we’ve never done jiu jitsu before and but we think we should start let’s like roll out some mats and let’s just do this and you know we can pull up some youtube videos about it or read a book or two and we’ll just figure this out you know

(1:06:23) but like they’ve had no training they have no professor they’re watching them and they’re like okay so let’s try out this move and we’ll try and then they get to like you know maybe four moves and we’re like okay we’re doing really good at jiu-jitsu and they do like those same four moves forever but no one’s there actually saying like you’re doing this right or you’re doing this yeah you know what i mean and then like so imagine that and then these same two people trying to do those same four moves on

(1:06:50) their own for like 10 years they wouldn’t even get there because they’d be bored as [ __ ] they’d just be like you know i think we’re done like we’re kind of done with jiu-jitsu let’s find something else in our lives let’s go watch a movie which is what most couples do so you know if you look at it from that perspective whereas guys they train bjj and they’re there on that five days a week they’ve got a black belt that’s been training at least 10 years watching them critiquing them

(1:07:23) showing them four different moves every night of the week right how many days have they been training cunnilingus [Laughter] exactly so you know it helps guys kind of put it into perspective of like how little sexual training we actually have and why we should put some importance into that yeah it’s a it’s an important part of a relationship and take the taboo away from not knowing something and just ask and women don’t shame men for for not knowing exactly you know and not that women know more than men do you know a lot of women

(1:08:03) they don’t know either for sure it’s it’s very normalized in our culture for people to have coaches when it comes to athletics and so it kind of takes it’s taking it’s a bit of a learning curve for people to start to realize that it could actually benefit their lives to have coach in the realm of sexuality yeah you know when you look at it it’s like it really makes sense you know if the people who are masters and anything they have coaches you know the top athletes we don’t necessarily look

(1:08:39) at their coaches but they have them and their coaches are on their ass constantly training them getting to where they are to become those masters that’s right y’all we are training for the sexual olympics that’s right ready for the gold all right we have a pick your poison from rick on facebook and i’m i love this one because it actually uh lines up with what you said earlier about men feeling like ejaculation feels like a crotch sneeze perfectly okay would you rather would you rather have an orgasm every time

(1:09:14) someone sneezes or everyone in the room have an orgasm every time you sneeze okay say that again okay i know when i say you gotta visualize it because that’s what makes it amazing to pick your poison so yeah it’s that’s those are would you rather question so would you rather have an orgasm every time someone sneezes so like like every time someone in the entire world sneaks around would you rather have an orga orgasm every time someone in the room with you sneezes or everyone in the room have an orgasm

(1:09:49) every time you sneeze probably the first one rather have an orgasm every time someone in the room sneezes yeah there’s more trees awkward on a first date if they sneeze four times at the dinner table there’s more chance of orgasm in that i mean that’s true that’s true have more orgasms in your lifetime exactly but you give a bunch of orgasms the other way like you could just be sniffing pepper and make and sneezing in a room full of a bunch of people whenever you want everyone to potentially sniff pepper

(1:10:27) yeah but then again you got to worry like what if there’s like an old grandma or grandpa you’re going to give them [Laughter] [Music] you really got to read the room yeah there’s too much too much pressure with that one i’ll take the orgasms yeah you take it on what would you do jade i think that i i think that i would be the one to receive them this time you say yeah i think so i don’t know i want to have but the thing is what if i have to sneeze i don’t have like a like knock on something you know but i

(1:11:02) don’t have allergies usually of that type like i’m not usually a sneezy person but i can make myself sneeze like if i look up at the sun or something a bright light usually will cause it so i could technically kind of sneeze on command and it would be pretty fun like whenever mercedes around i just feel amazing oh my god i don’t know w these questions are hilarious but okay um there’s a few few short questions we like to ask everyone who comes on the show so first off if you could hug your younger self right now

(1:11:40) what would you say i have more orgasms how old is your younger self yeah how old is this girl hey i mean kids as young as two years old have been seen to give themselves orgasms and actually um there have been ultrasounds showing babies in the womb pleasuring themselves so yeah so it’s actually very normal for us to give ourselves orgasms at any age i wonder what that feels like to the mother when the umbilical cord is still attached or still on the you know inside their belly i don’t know that’s interesting it’s a

(1:12:21) hiccup you’re like oh the baby’s having hiccups yeah that’s funny if you could have the whole world read one book which would it be uh let’s see i’ve read so many great ones um of course my mind it’s blanking out right now what’s the one that i want give me a real sexual book or like something in that realm because i feel like you’re the person we’re gonna get that from okay so yeah okay so sex at dawn is really great it was part of that one yeah sex at dawn is fantastic because

(1:13:01) i feel like it gives people permission to create a new sexual narrative and so we’re all raised with a certain sexual narrative that we tend to live our lives by we don’t really challenge it we don’t question it we just live our lives by it because it’s how we’ve been programmed since birth and sex at dawn shows so many options for the sexual narrative and really gives people permission to begin to explore one of their own so i don’t necessarily say that it’s the gospel truth that everything in there is 100

(1:13:38) percent correct but it’s really just an eye-opening way of beginning to explore different ways to to experience sexuality i love that answer uh kyle’s favorite books yeah it makes me actually wonder because of a lot of the people we’ve interviewed that have that book on their bookshelf are in open relationships so makes me want to ask you is that part of your relationship what are you are you in open do you experience that are you good with that are you open to that are you open to open am i open open

(1:14:14) yeah i’m i’m open to all different possibilities and i really think it depends on the specific person and the specific relationship and how that looks and i’ve experienced both monogamous and open relationships currently single happily single and yeah yeah i am able to date but i i really love i love my life as it is yeah that’s always good that’s where to start right with you all right so if you could whisper one phrase to everyone on the planet what would it be i love this um i was actually doing

(1:14:59) leading a guided meditation just a couple hours ago for the women that are doing the the course with me the in-person course that starts in september and at the end of the meditation i have them repeat over and over i am worthy i am worthy i am worthy i am safe i am safe i am safe i belong i belong i belong and those are so core to the human experience if we don’t have those core um not necessarily needs met but those core that those core building blocks yeah yeah you know like really embedded into the unconscious mind

(1:15:46) then it’s hard to to be strong to have a strong foundation so when i work with people it’s really starts with those beliefs i love that i am worthy i am safe i belong i am worthy i am safe i belong yeah oh let’s let that sink in yeah i’m gonna add that to my morning mantras i am worthy i am safe i belong sarah before we let you go can you tell us not only where people can find you online but how they can sign up for your course and i know you set up a promo code for our listeners so yes so my website is

(1:16:27) tantricactivation.com and that’s t-a-n-t-r-i-c tantric activation.com um i’m sarah rose sarah has two r’s s-a-r-r-a-h rose um and so i have two instagram pages whatever your preference is sarah rose jujitsu is more of my jujitsu journey and then the tantric activation facebook page gives a lot more of the sexual advice and all the fun stuff that we got to explore here um and yes so sex stallion training is my online course for men it’s a seven week course it’s a audio and video guide it’s

(1:17:13) done to be on your own guys you do not do this with a partner it’s a masturbation practice where i will guide you and you do it it’s about 15 sometimes 20 minutes a day for seven weeks and this will guide you in the fundamentals of tantric sex and and it’s it’s a lot of fun it’s super sexy yeah definitely not a boring way to spend 20 minutes of your day uh and yes so your code go to contractactivation.

(1:17:46) com click on the tab that says sex stallion and you will just add that to your cart and in the coupon code area is a stallion 100 and you get 100 off of sex stallion sweet look at that listeners magic lovers yeah i think we never did nothing for you huh i think we did a lot for you today right all right sarah this has been amazing you’ve given us so many tricks and tools to use and i know i’m gonna bring them straight to my bedroom tonight my husband’s gonna love it so thank you so much for doing this work

(1:18:27) and supporting our men like i said in the beginning um being a champion for modern modern masculinity is something that is very close to my heart and because jaden i happen to be blessed with this incredible largely male following who are hopefully open enough to receiving the tools you’re laying out for them i’m just so glad we got to have this conversation with you so thank you yeah thanks for having me yeah i definitely appreciate being here and especially since you have such a big mma following that’s exciting because it’s

(1:19:01) close to my heart being a jiu jitsu girl and yeah i love these guys i i’ve been so welcomed into this community like i’ve been so blessed to be on some of the biggest pages in the martial arts community like um mcdojo life had me on his page master ken and i had me in one of his skits and amazing yeah i’m actually going to go back in october and we’re going to film i give you the little sneak previews yeah the last one we did was for valentine’s day and now we’re going to film one for

(1:19:39) christmas so sarah rose will be santa baby [Laughter] amazing gary i know you live in austin and on september 15th at the o4 center on lamar we’re having an event from three to six about deepening connection uh with peter craig so oh great yeah i love peter he’s one of my longtime friends yeah perfect since you’re crazy come on down i’ll be an austin too for it it’ll be great we’ll go to dinner or something oh great let’s do it for sure so we’ll make sure to send you the info and then um

(1:20:17) we’ll also so we’ll air this episode before then um and uh send you the videos we make i’m sure you’ve seen some of the type of videos we make but we’ll send you some of those it’ll either air in the next two weeks or the next three weeks so okay all right sometime in the next month awesome well thank you both so much thank you so much yeah girl we will talk to you later so you’re all set all you have to do is hit end the call and we will have your audio on our side yeah alrighty bye bye

(1:20:51) okay all right scrammed a lot in there yeah we rammed it right in didn’t we i thought that was gonna take hours but we thought we were gonna have to warm her up for hours but now she just anyways no that i that was good i liked her a lot um hopefully she comes to the event too um so my magic trick and i’m sure yours has a lot to do with this episode it’s just to come often masturbate often i feel like a lot of people think that um when we hear sarah say like masturbating and coming is really really good for you if

(1:21:39) you’re single it’s kind of like but i’m single and i’ve had more like i said in the in the interview with sarah i’ve had more this last month than i’ve had in the last four years so um i think that it’s really important to remember to put this in our self-care practice and in our self-love practice because it is so good for us and it’s so important for us and i had completely forgotten that because as a single mother of two kids come nap time i have dishes to do and full laundry to fold

(1:22:12) but i was noticing that my fuse was getting shorter and shorter and i was i just felt a little bit more frustrated and i hadn’t had sex in eight months by the way i’d maybe orgasm three times in that eight months by myself but um in a ceremony um i was kind of going there in my journey about just kind of going there about why am i so frustrated why am i so short fused and a masculine energy came in and went down on me and i orgasmed on the medicine just to clarify you’re talking about an ayahuasca ceremony yeah okay just

(1:22:50) because i’m sure the listeners oh sorry i thought that so i thought i said that so so the um [Music] this guy this email masculine energy came in went down yeah let me just started i felt like okay um that got me off track a little bit i’m sorry um so in a ceremony start there in ayahuasca ceremony so the way that i realized all this is um i was in an ayahuasca ceremony and i was kind of going there in my journey just kind of trying to figure out like why am i so frustrated and and and just kind of a short fuse and yes i’m a

(1:23:27) single mom of two toddlers i’m with them all the time but it felt deeper than that and a um masculine energy came in and went down on me and i orgasmed on the medicine and then um i felt mother aya say don’t you feel so much more relaxed um inc this is self-care this is self-love and it was such a strong message for me and it was definitely the homework she was giving me was to incorporate that daily not like oh when you have the time make the time daily and it’s silly that i didn’t because it literally takes me

(1:24:08) it never takes me more than a couple minutes ever i i’ve told you before i can do it with my pants on if i wanted to i haven’t so that’s a lucky thing yeah i wish that i could give out tools for that but all i can really say is like for me it helps to flex my legs and to take deep breaths apparently sarah has the tools she told us just now that she can get you yeah right but for me personally to be that quick that’s all i know right um and then um [Music] yeah i don’t know i might be lucky i

(1:24:36) think i’m a little bit bigger down there than other girls are like like chloe always says um i think i’m like a bigger clitoris than other clitoris okay yeah i think i i think so that might make me a little lucky um yeah more more area to stimulate mm-hmm yeah so um so yeah it was silly that i wasn’t making the time for it anyways because it in five minutes i can give myself like eight orgasms and i never have less than three by myself so um it was silly that i wasn’t making the time but now that i am making the time

(1:25:08) um i won’t say that i’m less frustrated necessarily but i feel like i’m caring for myself more so i feel like i’m i’m i’m showing up for myself at the very least you know yeah no that’s one magic trick is to show up for yourself and to incorporate masturbation into your self-care practice and if that triggers you if the words incorporate masturbation into your self-care practice triggers you ask yourself why you feel shame there because it’s not it’s self-love it’s not shameful

(1:25:42) right we’re sexual beings yeah um and i just add on top of that that orgasm is scientifically proven to release feel good chemicals and hormones uh oxytocin which is like the cuddle hormone and dopamine which is another feel-good neurotransmitter and they’re proven to put you in a better mood so just that alone plus orgasms boost your immune system um they release the chemical dhea which helps balance your immune system promotes bone health even and it assists repairing tissues i mean like so many good things

(1:26:21) uh oh and for guys especially but women too you know after an orgasm your blood pressure actually drops and that’s why we can fall into a state of relaxation and usually you know it makes it really easy to fall asleep it happens a little quick quicker for men than it does for women but it’s still just as powerful in both of us maybe i should move my um masturbation time to before bed because i do it at nap time that’s a good call girl um that’s a good call but i don’t like the idea of you moving it too far

(1:26:53) into the night because what if you just don’t i that was my concern so however you got to get it in a little like treat yeah you know yeah halfway through the day yeah plus that’s a good time to be like mellowed out right it’s like halfway through the day so that’s probably not bad not bad for you so my magic trick today and this is i’m going to kick this off with something i don’t talk about often which is when i was 16 and taking birth control i found lumps in my breast and um i was told that the birth control

(1:27:24) could have been the cause of it so i stopped taking it and i had to have four lumpectomies later in life which is a story for another time but unlike most women who spend the better part of their lives on synthetic birth control hormones i’ve been not on those so i’ve been really aware of my sex hormones for most of my life and i’ve felt all the you know highs and lows that come with that especially when something’s out of whack so with that um i’ve spent several years now tracking my hormonal cycles

(1:27:54) and if you’re a friend of mine you know i preach this to people all the time it’s probably they’re probably all annoying of hearing it by now but um i’m really aware of how each phase of my cycle correlates with how i interact in my relationships with others and especially how i interact with my husband full disclosure by the way when i first started tracking my hormones um i brought up to my husband that i wanted him to learn about my cycles and get on board with the whole idea and he was kind of resistant like most men are when

(1:28:25) it comes to anything to do with women’s menstrual cycles but luckily he’s recently opened up to to learning how this info can improve our lives together and i truly honestly jade i think this has truly been something that’s saved our marriage seriously uh yeah i bet i can typically tell where you’re at in your cycle yeah and i and i mean you know already with me i’m always you literally text me something but i’m not like that with all girls i i don’t i don’t always think oh that’s

(1:28:52) probably where they’re at in their cycle but with you i can tell right away where you’re at yeah well because we’re kind of tracking and it’s stronger for some people hormones affect some people stronger than other people you know oh well because i don’t like i said that was why i prefaced it with my reason i don’t you know i’m not on a synthetic birth control because synthetic uh hormones in your body like a birth control will mellow out your ebbs and flows of these monthly cycles that we go

(1:29:18) through as women uh and so like i said i feel my hormones and i have for most of my life so that’s what i’m saying i’m in my feelings so that’s why i’ve been this is what’s something i take so seriously i’m so passionate about it um but i wanted to give you a for instance on that so during ovulation lately i’ve been needing deep penetrate penetrative that’s hard to say i’ve been eating deep penetrative orgasms from my husband in order to feel like okay you know like literally in order to feel

(1:29:48) normal i think it’s basically a way of tricking my body into thinking i’m getting impregnated so every time i ovulate that’s that’s been something i need to experience and also during that phase of my cycle um i know i need lots of touch and words of affirmation from him otherwise i get needy and very angry very angry i notice i need validation yes validation is a good word for that too um you can imagine though what a needy angry mercedes it’s not exactly the most sexually you know sexual appetite

(1:30:20) inducing version of myself and so before i was tracking this and figuring that type of thing out and figuring out all my other nuances i’ve got going on related to my hormones it was literally causing adverse effects from my husband who didn’t even want to be around me during certain phases of my cycle especially ones when i wanted to be really sexual right because i was pushing him away with the angry stuff that comes with that but now that chris is aware of all this it’s been a game changer and it’s

(1:30:48) been really useful in getting us on the same page in the bedroom and just in life in general and i also wanted to add i know this is a long magic trick guys but hang in there with me so chris is now tracking his own cycles because yes men have cycles too and it’s allow allowed him to define when he’s most motivated to to to even just work like you know normal work stuff or even work out and certainly whenever he’s most sexually energized like tracking that has been huge um and even when he’s most willing to get

(1:31:21) into like strange and deep conversations which as you can imagine being married to me there’s no shortage of those so for men it may be more about tracking your moods in correlation to the time of day and the foods you’re eating and it won’t necessarily be a monthly cycle for you the way it is for women but i promise you if you start tracking as many variables as you are able to on a daily basis you will start to see some patterns and those patterns will lead to some serious enlightenment fellas it’s totally worth

(1:31:46) it so my magic trick is to begin tracking your cycles and women there’s many apps out there for tracking your menstrual cycles the one i like to use personally is called ovia and for men perhaps what you can do since there’s not really great apps for this which maybe we’ll fix that later um but what you can do do now is start tracking like perhaps five variables that you record in a daily journal and that could be sex drive overall energy mental focus appetite and mood for instance and if you really want to get after it i’d

(1:32:21) record what you ate that day and the amount of exercise you got in and i think you will definitely see some benefits in there so give it a try hmm yeah i like that if we could all get on the same page as that i bet you would make a world of it literally literally the world just friends and business partners i think this would heal i mean this would cause it helps us yeah yeah all right magic mobbers thank you so much for tuning in and taking this journey with us if this episode held some magic for you please share it with

(1:32:52) your friends and family this would mean so much to us and please don’t forget to join us on our instagram page at the magic hour and let us know what your favorite episodes have been so far we appreciate all your feedback and want to know what’s lighting you up yes we do and by the way guys as you know we release a new episode every monday so you can catch us again next week or head over to the other episodes right now and give one of those a listen um we’ll meet you there until then big thank you to at rayton royal for our

(1:33:27) intro jam and to john aaron garza from real motion productions for producing the show stay magical friends we need to do the intro one more or no i don’t think so we only did one run right yeah but it was good it was natural um all right and then we’ll just record the show um if we’re gonna do an ad and then we gotta take this wig off immediately now all right let’s see all right so [Laughter] [Applause] i do want do i look i’m not looking at you because i’m saving myself um i’m still recording john put that in

(1:34:08) the bloopers