(00:00) recorder is going audacity is green light and i am back okay now then i like that color on you oh thanks how’s it going boys and babes it’s that time again time for another episode of the magic hour i’m mercedes terrell and with me my majestic partner and shine jade bryce hold on okay i just wanted to make sure that my setting was right okay sorry one more time how’s it going boys and babes it’s that time again time for another episode of the magic hour i’m mercedes terrell and with me my majestic partner and shine

(01:03) jade bryce hey jade hey you guys i just wanted to take a minute to thank all of you that have shown us some love by rating and reviewing us this is so huge to us since it lets us know that you’re finding value in what you’re hearing we wanted to share one from slick he says i’ve listened to hundreds of episodes of the joe rogan experience as well as hundreds of hours of other podcasts and in just a few episodes these two ladies have created a podcast that is right up there with the joe rogan experience for

(01:34) me and that i look forward to listening to each and every episode that comes out that’s just one of the ones out of the you know dozens that were posted that really touched our hearts and joe is such a huge inspiration to us so this really left us speechless so thank you so much thank you slick i love that yeah it’s so sweet so today we’re having on deanna smith deanna is a life coach who works with millennial artists and entrepreneurs to assist them in releasing outdated ideas about their career and relationships so

(02:08) that they can define success on their own terms yes she is a deep thinker and a seeker who has been on her own journey of self-discovery for many many years she loves to help anyone who is asking for the chance to grow and her light is in empowering others to become their best selves by guiding them towards what’s truly in their hearts through her coaching she’s able to help us to identify how to live our bliss and how to serve others while living a healthy happy abundant and joy-filled life so without further ado and because i am so

(02:46) ready to step into whatever guidance she can offer us today let me introduce today’s guest deanna smith do you want me to read that intro when she gets on um probably huh yeah because we need her to say hi yeah um should we reread the intro one more time so we don’t have to do it after or you like it i like it but let’s just do it again it was fine to me but okay we’ll just do a second one that’s a little different okay um when you go into your first sentence is there a way to i just wanted to take him in and thank

(03:30) all you guys like literally say it so organically like i don’t know for some reason getting into that because we’re about you’re about to read something it spills i don’t know how to make it more organic though let’s just try it again and see what happens okay how’s it going boys and babes it’s that time again time for another episode of the magic hour i’m mercedes terrell and with me my majestic partner in shine jade bryce hey jade hey you guys leah just wanted to take a minute i tried to make it sound organic i would

(04:13) start over that was way better oh okay say hi jade okay that’s it hi jade hey you guys we just want to take a minute to thank all of you guys that have shown us love by rating and reviewing us this is so huge to us since it lets us know you’re finding value in what you’re hearing um we did want to share one from slick he says i’ve listened to hundreds of episodes of the joe rogan experience as well as hundreds of hours of other podcasts and in just a few episodes these two ladies have created a podcast that is right up

(04:48) there with the joe rogan experience for me and that i look forward to listening to each and every episode that comes out that’s just one of the ones that really touched our hearts but there are dozens of others and we’re super thankful joe is such a huge inspiration to us so this really left us speechless so thank you slick i’m sure you’re listening yes uh yeah thank you enough that really warmed our heart i love that thank you slick that’s awesome anyone who wants to write and review us we read

(05:15) all that stuff so yeah put it on there we’ll see it yes so today we’re having on deanna smith dana is a life coach who works with millennial artists and entrepreneurs to assist them in releasing outdated ideas about their career and relationship so that they can define success on their own terms yes she’s a deep thinker and a seeker who has been on her own journey of self-discovery for many many years she loves to help anyone who’s asking for the chance to grow and her light is in empowering others to

(05:47) become their best selves by guiding them towards what’s truly in their hearts through coaching she’s able to help us to identify how to live our bliss and how to serve others while living a healthy happy abundant and joy-filled life so without further ado and because i am so ready to step into whatever guidance she can offer us today let me introduce today’s guest deanna smith yay hmm okay um [Music] so do we have a lot of time or do we want to like do any of the exits like read over them what not um magic trick i don’t know

(06:43) we have uh let’s try to call her well let’s is she going to tell you when she’s ready i don’t want to call her if she said she was running ten minutes behind it’s been nine but if you want how long is your uh magic trick it’s kind of it’s not crazy long but it’s a few minutes um i would probably not call her though until she says just because you know okay let me test for you taylor we’re gonna do a sound check real quick um oh you mean when she gets on yeah just say let us know when you’re ready

(07:21) type of thing yeah well because adam’s email says five minutes prior to recording we’ll do a sound check so uh okay why don’t we start after she gets off and you say that was really helpful conversation i like a lot because i have a little piece there that’s not that long and we’ll continue from there and go into our magic tricks if she hasn’t texted or anything she said she’s ready okay um okay mercedes do you wanna hi hi hey how’s it going good do you um did you find adam’s email pretty easy

(08:17) uh the instructions attention to detail yeah so i’m supposed to press record now yeah yeah if you hit record um and just talk for like 10 seconds and then send it via wii transfer he can make sure that everything sounds okay and then we’ll jump into the interview let me do that your lighting is great is it oh good okay okay i’m recording okay so just give him you know count to 10 or something like that one two three four five six seven eight nine ten and then hit the stop the little square there okay and you’re gonna go up to file

(09:05) export wave wave and then name it something you’ll remember and save it in you know documents or somewhere you’ll know where it is you can say okay and then go to wetransfer on your safari or your internet tab and add that file and send it to adam adam at redfoxaudio.com um are we pronouncing your name right

(10:18) deanna or diana yes okay anna yeah indiana okay um we weren’t sure if it was diana because there’s two ends so we were like yeah i better okay awesome um so we can start recording he’ll let us know if it’s bad and if so you know we’ll figure that out but um okay so if you hit record again [Music] and jade you’re still going yeah he’s listening to your sound right now i like your backgrounds mercedes is in her closet she just hung up shut up some artwork yeah it’s her most quietest part of her house yeah

(11:16) part of her house it’s technically a second bedroom that’s now a closet now you’re starting yeah and now both recording studio and closet yeah um okay so you’re gonna do the intro yeah i was gonna wait for him to come through but we could just start i’ll keep it open and if he yeah just in case cause it’s probably fine she sounds good okay deanna you have the the green uh thing is bouncing on the recorder right uh let me look yes it is cool okay cool all right and actually adam just texted he said so i can hear mercedes giving

(11:59) deanna instructions is she wearing headphones yes you are you can hear us in your headphones right yep are they super loud they’re perfect yeah uh if they’re super loud he might be getting a bleed through um so he asked if maybe you could turn him down a little bit okay um so i guess just turn the volume on my computer down yeah that’s what i do and it just turns it down in my mic and just make sure they’re plugged all the way in on the side of your computer too okay yeah okay okay i don’t know why that happens sometimes

(12:39) i don’t know it’s always something yeah it’s always something all right so we’re just gonna go through without a retest yeah i think we’re okay yeah just telling him okay all right so we’re coming off the intro of our show and i’m just gonna walk us in with your actual intro yes she’s a deep thinker and a seeker who has been on her own journey of self-discovery for many many years she loves to help anyone who is asking for the chance to grow and her light is in empowering others to become their

(13:23) best selves by guiding them towards what’s truly in their hearts through her coaching she’s able to help us to identify how to live our bliss and how to serve others while living a healthy happy abundant and joy-filled life so without further ado and because i’m so ready to step into whatever guidance she can offer us today let me introduce today’s guest deanna smith hi so so grateful to be here and really honored you guys um the work you’re doing i’ve listened to some of your stuff so far i’m so excited about

(14:01) it and i think you’re setting such a great example oh thank you that means a lot so i have to mention that you are like our most mysteriously i’m calling it uh you’re our guest by divine design because we have somehow summoned you with like unbeknownst to us how it’s happened but jade has this um like list it’s actually i think on our wall behind her there this list of our dream guests on there you know it literally has people like ellen degeneres oprah like you know all these people and you’re on that list and we didn’t

(14:35) know you prior to this jay doesn’t know how and i looked you up and i wasn’t even following you that’s so funny i know i’m like how did you find me actually i wasn’t quite feeling really i had no like interactions with you i must have seen you on someone’s post or something and just put your name down i don’t know but i was like well i think we’re supposed to interview her yeah and she sent me like your writings i was like yeah this girl is right in alignment with stuff we want to share so

(15:03) yeah she was like good catch and i was like i don’t know what book i sent out that’s amazing you scooped it up it’s so good i love it so today we’re obviously going to talk about ways we can seek out and step into our own calling and how to reach our highest potential and i’m super excited to get into all that but i wanted to first ask you how did you come to recognize your own gifts and how did you come to be a life coach that’s a very good question it’s interesting because it’s something that i’ve struggled with

(15:37) for a long time and it’s not necessarily been in the recognizing of my gifts because i felt from a young age what i was good at i might have been a little confused because there were a number of things that naturally came to me fairly easily and then you know you hear the noise and the voices of the people around you saying like you should do this or you should focus on this one thing and you’d be so successful um and i did start my first passion career relatively early which was acting but i really sort of hit out in that and

(16:13) i never got to the point where i fully stepped into it and really put myself out and i hid behind life’s circumstances and chaos and partners and then i went through a whole a definition period between then and now where i was sort of struggling to find my legs and um it was after i had split up with my ex-husband and was still acting but really needing to figure some other things out to help financially that i responded to an ad actually someone was looking for a dating coach and it was one of those things where i

(16:50) read it and i was like oh yeah i can do that um and that’s probably about seven or eight years ago and um i interviewed with him and started working with him and i had the best time and i utilized actually a lot of the skills i had learned as an actress um both through self-inquiry and but also improvisation and we would do things like go out places and i would tell him to do things or say things to women and you know help them get more comfortable and um you know did all sorts of things and i had a great time doing it and really

(17:25) felt that it was a calling that i wanted to pursue it just wasn’t the time in my life where i had the stability to build that um so it wasn’t until about a year ago that really started coming back around again i had more space in my life again and it just really started flowing you know some people started coming to me for sessions i started a women’s group uh started doing workshops and just sort of started going by referral and it’s really been opening up so um it’s yeah it’s been a fun new path yeah older

(18:03) path yeah there’s a lot of parts of that story that i relate to a lot um so you help others you know figure out how to live at their highest potential do you feel like you’re currently living at your highest potential and also how do you continue to reach and cultivate motivation to keep reaching for that yeah potential is an interesting idea for me and again something that i’ve struggled with for a long time because i feel there’s a lot of pressure in potential and around the idea of reaching my full potential because what

(18:43) is that really like if i just sit here and think like i gotta reach my full potential there’s like anxiety yeah yeah it’s like really intimidating and like well don’t make a wrong move or you might not reach your full potential uh it’s also has been a good place for me to hide in that you know if you’re not all in if you’ve not really fully committed to something it’s like well i didn’t really give my all i didn’t really try so i’m you know you kind of have a cobbler excuse for not reaching potential

(19:18) so for me i’ve really um come back like more into alignment for myself around the way i look at it recently or maybe in the last couple of years in that i know what i want my life to look and feel like and i know kind of grand scale big things big picture i know what i want to achieve i’ve always been very ambitious but what i can do is now in this moment what i can control is now in this moment and so it’s it’s a process of breaking down to what is now what’s right here uh what can i do in this moment and if i’m

(20:03) really filling the space here in this moment then i feel that that’s i am living my potential because that’s what i’m doing yeah i relate to that a lot as well i um have joked before that you know while my partner’s just trying to poop or shower i’m like are we living our best life like i’m always really obsessed with um we’re not doing enough and we need to be reading this book and we need you know and we actually did our first um okay and the the big theme that kept coming up is that um

(20:45) i i’m always wanting to do more and more and more and it becomes stressful but for me i’m just i’m trying to reach that potential you know so oh my gosh i so relate to that and with my partner would probably laugh hilariously or he will when he hears this because yes he he’s given me [ __ ] at times because it’s like i’m i’m reading like eight books at once so listening to them and i want to do this workshop and i want to do this class and i want to because i love it um but there is that idea like you i

(21:17) didn’t really answer your question when you asked like am i living my full potential no i’m on the path um but you know there’s more and and it’s interesting too because my fiance will get mad at me sometimes because i am like i want to do more i want to learn more like let’s process more and let’s see yeah yeah we never go take a drive whether it’s 10 minutes or an hour without me taking four books to choose from which one do you want me to read to you so yeah i think there is this paradox about

(21:51) our potential you know wanting to maximize our potential but having now the knowledge knowing that it’s infinite like if we have this infinite potential that’s a really overwhelming thing to try and wrap our heads around yeah but like you’re saying deanna that if we just bring it back to the now like okay i know i have infinite potential but there’s like gradual becomings that have to happen in order to get there but right now here’s what i do have access to here’s how much i know i you know the the

(22:22) beliefs i have in myself or whatever it is that it takes for me to actualize this potential in this very moment is only what i have right now so let’s work with that and move you know forward with that take that little step forward totally i think also finding comfort in the fact that anything we’re drawn to is already in us so all those things that we’re wanting to grow in they’re in there and sometimes just sitting quietly with that and not doing any of the busy work to try to get there but just sitting

(22:51) quietly with those desires can be enough yeah and allowing space for it to grow yeah it’s an interesting part of our brain that must be at work whenever we’re you know we’re just striving we’re striving yeah i think that goes to like fear and control too a bit like what the answer is and the outcome it’s going to be yeah yep definitely from me yes me too we know we got all kinds of control issues over here we’re just three keys in a pod so i was going to mention that in your writings um you mentioned that a big part of your

(23:35) journey was spent in turbulent relationships with partners who you had you know some sort of unhealthy addiction to um could we go into that some and maybe you can explain some of those experiences a bit and how you were able to learn from them and apply those learnings to your life and and to your career and how you coach others yes for sure some of the most valuable lessons i’ve learned about myself and others have been through relationships i you know i was married young and that was actually my second love and and met

(24:12) him just off the heels of the breakup from my first love from high school basically and with him it wasn’t so much like an off and on turbulence it was more the turbulence of me um not being ready to be married and doing it anyway and punishing myself for thinking that like what’s wrong with me for feeling this way and being more addicted to feeling guilty or feeling bad about myself or feeling like i should be some way rather than just how i wanted to be um so that that relationship was tough because i really

(24:55) beat myself up for not wanting to be married at that time but being married anyway and then the struggle of like what am i gonna do when i know it’s not right and eventually leaving um right after that i tend to have like a ten month window or i’ve had a ten window between significant relationships i met a man that i was with off and on for seven and a half years and that relationship was the relationship itself was highly addictive and it was one of those things where i knew very early that i was screwed like i’m

(25:35) like [ __ ] i’m i know what this is and i know i’m under it and that almost made it worse because i was like well why can’t i just stop it yeah yeah and it was really biochemically addictive and it was breaking up and getting back together and and him you know sang all these things and promising all these things and then like within a day really like the opposite happening and and so it was so much of me again beating myself up because i knew and yet i was like why can’t i break this pattern i know it’s a pattern and

(26:12) that actually really helped me in the process of embodiment going from learning and knowing intellectually to embodying because i had to throughout that relationship go from like learning all these things and and knowing these things and about myself and and learning about you know all the areas that i’ve studied through actually physically embodying it in order to break out of that pattern so i did you ask me what i learned any part of it yeah how are you able yeah to apply them to your life and career yeah yeah

(26:56) yeah so much i mean i learned how resilient i am um and how even when the things aren’t working out that i think i want or really did want at the time that i’m okay i’m happy i can always start anew i learned how to actually love and accept myself and it’s that to me has always been such a weird intangible concept like oh just love yourselves and i i got to experience going through that whole process of like being like okay and like trying to learn it and trying to study it and then actually finally getting it and that’s

(27:44) when things really shifted for me and acceptance because i didn’t accept for a long time what was happening and i didn’t accept myself in what was happening and in order to really change i needed to learn to really accept myself and really accept what was happening instead of thinking it shouldn’t yeah i think people listening to this i know i can really relate to a lot of that because i know that i have allowed my relationships to define me a lot of the time you know along my journey and i think that’s something

(28:24) just to really look at in any relationship in your life not just with your romantic partners but even in your friendships um your work life your your mother-father relationship i mean all those relationships of our lives we allow to define us the community is certainly important but at the end of the day we’re alone you know it’s just us yes yes and i chose relationships as a place to hide for sure and you know it kept me safe from fully expressing myself and putting myself out which has always been you know since i’ve been very young a

(29:02) fear and something i’ve had to really work through um and it was such a safe place to hide because i could be the support system and then i could also hide behind like oh all this chaos is happening like oh now i’m getting divorced and i gotta figure out how to support myself and my child and now i’m in this relationship and he’s back and forth and off and on and so the relationships for me really were a place to hide and it’s it’s been you know i’m two years in now on a now very healthy relationship

(29:35) and it’s really been like the last year that i’ve been able to like really start stepping out on my own um with support and love but like not hiding anymore what would your advice be to someone who may be with their life mate but also realizes that they’re hiding in the relationship [Music] that’s a great question i think being with their life mate but realizing that they’re hiding in wanting to not be hiding would be the first definition defining okay well how is the hiding serving you and do you want to not hide why do you not

(30:22) want to hide and then from there looking at ways to connect to a new way of being really yeah because we you know our behaviors are all because they’re they served us at some point and then we got used to them and sometimes they’re not serving us anymore and then it’s like okay what else are we going to connect to at this point what do you think about your current relationship um that you you feel like you’re experiencing as a healthy relationship what makes it healthy to you in this you know new phase of your life

(31:01) new chapter yeah uh well first of all i got to give a shout out to scott kaufman he is the most all-in person i’ve ever met uh he to me defines the support of masculine so he is very in his masculine which was very attractive to me and it still is but he is able to hold space for me to see me to understand me in a way that can really support me as an individual as opposed to just an extension of him or what he needs from me in order to help bolster his appearance he he’s really a partner he really sees me he really gives me space to

(31:54) really blossom and feel supportive and it’s so stable and i know that he’s not going anywhere he’s there and that sturdiness allows me to breathe and be comfortable and and be able to create from a place that feels good to me yeah that’s an important uh word right there it’s like the stability that allows you to create jade and i talk about when you’re in a fight or flight mode all the time with your relationship or you’re thinking that you don’t know what tomorrow’s going to hold if it’s going

(32:29) to be really turbulent you’re not going to know you know that person wants to stay it triggers all these abandonment issues we have it triggers all this [ __ ] in our past you know all these samskaras that we are as oh my gosh that we need to work through but haven’t yet of course because we’re busy in fight or flight mode trying to like figure this part of our life out oh my god but do you feel like because i’ve experienced this that that when you get to a place in your life where you’re with someone who you

(33:00) know this let me let me back up for a minute so like we all think of this storybook idea this romance that’s gonna you know someone’s gonna come into our life and sweep us off our feet and then it’s gonna be all those problems we had they’re gonna be gone right but the reality is that that person if if that type of thing ever does come to fruition in your life you’re you’re going to maybe have um some euphoria that comes with it and some of the things that you think disney has impressed on you that

(33:31) you know you think you’re gonna experience um but you also now have like this level spot in your life that for me when that happened i had like a oh [ __ ] moment like okay that big part that i’ve been trying to conquer and take care of for all these years of my life is kind of like in a neat little box and now all my stuff that i haven’t you know that i’ve been putting on the back burner is surfacing and now i have to deal with all of it and literally like i had a i call it my quarter life crisis or whatever you know i don’t know

(34:07) if it’s midlife but quarter life crisis that all this stuff came out and i had to decide how i’m going to deal with this i started having panic attacks and anxiety and all these things came out for you because you’re now in this space where you’re with this person who you feel is stable and is like this anchor and and you can count on them showing up did did you have you know did that give you all this space and time and like you’re saying creativity that some maybe parts of you that you didn’t see

(34:38) didn’t count on surfacing all of a sudden came up not necessarily but i will say that we’re we’re both very conscious of what our wounds are and we’re both growers so you know we have conflicting wounds and and we’ve been very conscious of that and that’s something that we’ve worked through together continuously and there is stuff that comes up and i’m sure there will continue to be it’s it’s just so different because when we’re both here and we know we’re both here

(35:20) it’s almost like it’s a pleasure to work through it even when it’s not um because it’s growth versus in in the old relationships where it felt like fight or flight like you said it’s like it’s so unstable and it’s so kind of scary all the time and then not knowing it’s it’s like it’s so hard to have space to actually create to actually make progress forward um but yeah i mean we’re we’re always kind of processing through stuff and and stuff is coming up but it’s it’s so it’s a pleasure

(35:59) to work through it that’s good yeah i am i was wondering also as a life coach um how you know you explain some of your past relationships as you know dark times how has the darkest places in your journey allowed you to not only see but to be the light as well mm-hmm i think without having those experiences i don’t know that i would really fully appreciate where i am now and is certainly not in my relationship i don’t think i would fully appreciate and i i feel like i really identified with like the romanticism of like the ups and downs

(36:54) and the pain and the back and forth when i was younger both with acting and with the relationships and it’s sort of like an etching process maybe that i went through where again i go back to the embodiment because it helped me to embody these lessons where i’ve lived through them and so i can understand viscerally what it means and how i could guide someone through maybe similar circumstances as opposed to just theoretically learning it or knowing it and teaching it so i feel that really going through all those times and and the embodiment of

(37:45) getting through them is helping me to be able to show the light to other people in a way that i can understand it so much better and also appreciate so much better what where i am now [Music] that contrast is super important i think so hard life happens somewhere in between the dark and the light right i know even though it sucks sometimes for sure we say seek the pain for positive gain you know like go through it to get to the other side yeah um so perhaps before we dive further into the how to’s of how to navigate

(38:26) through our negative patterns and habits and rewriting our brains for the better you could explain a little bit about the science um behind how we create our habits in the first place and you know what physically biologically occurs when we change them when you know how why these habits are happening and what it looks like when we change them yeah this is a topic that i geek out over a lot and one of my favorite teachers on it is dr joe dispenza he’s written a number of books um evolve your brain and breaking

(39:02) the habit of being yourself which i love that title but he talks about how when habits are formed they create deep neural pathways and you know it serves us to some extent we we start doing these behaviors and we create these habits and and it makes it so that we can do things like drive cars and brush our teeth without thinking about it but at some point if we look at habit and realize that it’s not serving us and decide what we want to change we have to essentially rewire our brains and create new neural pathways

(39:37) and so the process of doing that is is becoming conscious first and foremost that behavior perhaps isn’t serving us anymore or habits not serving us anymore and then to start the process of rewearing ourselves um you know sometimes with change uh you know people just say like oh i want to make this change i want to lose this amount of weight or or whatever it might be um and then it’s like two steps forward one step back or it’s it’s start and then just stop all together um so it it’s that process of the

(40:16) rewiring that causes us to um make steps forward and then back and then forward in the back because we have to essentially retrain make these neural pathways and retrain our bodies because our bodies also become biochemically addicted to the emotions that we’re used to producing based upon these behaviors so it’s you know deep meditation i love for for retraining my body i love doing acupuncture reiki i go to an amazing fusion healer for acupuncture reiki which you know when when i can feel those energy patterns started

(40:57) to open up and change it feels really uncomfortable um yeah yeah i i was listening to something that dr george spencer was was referring to um the fact that we by i think age 30 something like that might be totally misquoting him here but something like by the age of 30 we are using subconscious patterns for 95 of what we do on a daily basis which is super scary we’re basically robots that we have programmed through all of our past [ __ ] right yeah and only five percent is new creative organic material so yeah

(41:42) and frightening it is frightening and with a lot of people who aren’t conscious or aren’t seekers it takes sometimes a big disaster for them to realize that they want to make a change or realize that a change might serve them because they do get to the point where they’re just running on autopilot and don’t really question it or just think like oh this is just the way life is yeah how can we sorry how can we lessen our resistance to that though like how can we lessons are lessen our resistance to that and also

(42:20) like take inspired action uh well a lot of ways i think um some things that help me are like i said meditation because we’re detaching from the concept of who we think we are for a period of time and allowing some space for change to start to happen um you know like i said bodywork i think so i think reflection from from others and support and accountability from others is important um given their the others that see you and support you um also noticing in others what you are changing to is really important because i think seeing examples

(43:11) of what is possible is really valuable you know the idea of jealousy is interesting because i think it’s actually a great tool if you’re noticing something in another person you would like to have in yourself that could be a great tool because you can see the example of that and hey you know it’s possible and b you can get kind of on the vibration of it you can you can attune yourself to what that might look and feel like in order to draw it into your own life um and i think that could really help lessen resistance if you use

(43:48) it in that way as opposed to using it in a way of like oh you know how people normally think of jealousy or noticing something that they want that’s so interesting because uh that’s something i feel like i was really resistant to for most of my life even just in the last few months i feel like i’m kind of turning the corner on that specifically where when you see something you don’t like about somebody you’re like you don’t know why this person turns you off in a in a certain way maybe even right

(44:16) away when you meet them it’s usually some sort of reflection you know there’s something in them there’s a trigger there yeah yeah seeing it it’s something you might be dealing with on your own and that you’re seeing in them and it’s triggering you like you’re saying jade to have that response so if you can twist you know like you’re saying deanna twist around the idea to really recognize that as as um a reflection and go okay what what is it that’s triggering me firstly and then

(44:47) where is that living in me and how can i you know dig that out and actually deal with it and work through it yeah sorry so go ahead it’s like that saying um you can tell more about someone by what they say about others than by what they say what they say about themselves because the things that bother them it’s like showing you know what’s happening in others what’s in ourselves yeah and yeah sometimes that bother us and other things parts of ourselves that we’re pushing aside that we’re disowning that

(45:18) you know maybe we don’t see as favorable but i guess my next thought here is a little bit um parallel to that so when it comes to having compassion for ourselves and for others um this is something i’ve noticed that i have trouble with i know that i’m tougher on myself and on others than i should be but i also and this is probably not the right thing to do but i also attribute the type of toughness that i you know act on myself the type of toughness i have for myself i attribute that to my success and sometimes i even

(45:56) attribute the success of those around me to the toughness to my toughness on them so you know this is a long repeated pattern of mine i’m sure and i know it’s not the healthiest thing to be doing i know i need to change it um i even make some conscious efforts like taking notice of it but i see myself quickly fall back into the old rhythm once i’m in a situation that allows for it right i’ve read something you wrote that says without compassion for ourselves and others we can stay stuck in destructive

(46:31) cycles so that really speaks to that for me can you go into that some and into how to recognize firstly and then repair this cycle sure so you’re recognizing a pattern of of toughness on yourself and others which as you said has actually served you because you’ve seen it help get things done help you get things done help others get things done but maybe it doesn’t serve you anymore is what i hear you’re saying um so it might start with considering is it possible that you could create a new belief whereby

(47:12) you can be tough with love or you can be tough with accountability and it doesn’t have to come without compassion it could be um so so creating a new belief system around it once you recognize that maybe something isn’t serving you and then the compassion i think is important in accepting yourself for where you are now so where that’s come into play for me in where it’s left me stuck when i wasn’t compassionate was making myself wrong or making whatever was going on wrong and it’s just made it impossible for me to move from

(47:54) there so you know first accepting that this is happening this is where i am and it’s okay um then looking at okay well how is this serving me let’s be honest here it has served me up for some reason or i wouldn’t do it and then can i create a new belief around this and what from there it’s inquiry for me you know what would it look like if um i could change this belief or if i could see it a different way and what might change in my life who might show up for me or who might show up differently for

(48:28) me and how my my behaviors change how might their behaviors change so and then sort of connecting with a new belief and a new way of being yeah i don’t know if that answered your question yeah no i think it i think definitely it did answer the question of of how to repair the cycle because once you get stuck in that mode of like i feel like um i feel like even maybe this is you know i don’t know if this is something that you get into or consider often but i’m always obsessed with how our hormones work and the biochemistry of our bodies

(49:10) and that when i’m you know certain types of term certain points of the month certain um parts of my cycle uh i notice i’m either more compassionate or less compassionate towards myself and others um and this cycle this destructive cycle of of you know being so tough on myself that i’m harmful can rear its ugly head way more than other times of the month is that something you notice or experience and is there a way to kind of navigate that as well that’s interesting um i definitely noticed the hormonal influences on

(49:48) myself and in terms of navigating that i think awareness and compassion is especially important at that time and giving yourself grace because you know this is a moment in time and stuff gets sticky sometimes and the more conscious we are i feel like the more we can take a step and pause and look at ourselves and be like okay i see you it’s okay you know i i still love you feel this yeah you know it’s not going to last forever totally so i feel the compassion is extra important feel this is an important statement for sure

(50:35) i think just looking at all three of us yeah lean into it yeah i’m gonna say that i feel like we’re probably all in the same age demographic here um but sometimes i feel like okay cool i’m getting i’m getting the hang of this thing i’m getting the hang of this thing but i just need a little more time to practice and you know every month with my new cycle i get a little better at it whatever but i’m like by the time i get this finally figured out i’m going to go through menopause it’s going to be

(51:00) another situation you know but such is life it’s like it’s like this is our life and of course we’re always striving to grow and we want to give ourselves tools and we want to evolve and it’s also trusting that we are you know you are a learner and a grower and at some point i think it it’s again i go back to giving yourself grace and trusting that you are making shifts and that’s that’s also why i feel reflection from people and having people a support system that you trust and that you know

(51:43) has your back is so important because sometimes you need that reflection back to you like no mercedes like six months ago like you were really [ __ ] tough and you’ve softened so much that you know i think that’s important because we need that sometimes because we forget we’re too close to the picture that’s the beauty of this podcast i feel it’s like a track record like we’ll be able to go yeah episode one what the hell was i doing so funny i was thinking that this morning i was i was actually on a hike

(52:14) and i was like oh it’s gonna be interesting when i look back in a year or two and think like oh that was so cute yeah even on social media we’re so young yeah the way we record ourselves in life today you know with social media and all the ways that we’re able to record our whatever is going on in our lives i think it’s pretty cool that we have such an obvious track record of course like depending on how authentic the content is you put out there you’re gonna have a easier way to see back on your we call

(52:46) living journal of whatever your experiences were but um it’s kind of cool we have we at least have the technology to do it so we should be using it right um okay so i was going to mention that in your writings you talk about a pattern you’ve discovered that you’ve been stuck in for a long time um which was being rewarded financially after stressful or hectic work this stuck out so loudly to me like this is a pattern that i’ve recently realized i am seriously addicted to as well so where do you think this

(53:21) first off let’s start with where do you think this type of pattern is born yeah well for me uh this pattern was i think a lot of patterning is born through wounding and probably a lot in early childhood um although it wouldn’t even happen any time but for me it was early messages i received around like having a career making money it’s stressful it was a survival mentality that i grew up with also came out of not feeling like really believing in my value so i have to like if i’m doing all if i’m stressed out that must show that i

(54:06) have value if i’m really you know like striving or struggling i must show that i have value um and then there’s also a part of it that i created where i wanted to prove that life was hard for me in the way i grew up i felt guilty that it wasn’t as hard for me as some others that i was close to in my life and i think i created difficulties to be like it’s hard and like i should be rewarded i have value and you feel worthy wow yeah even just thinking about that is breaking down some bridges for me and there’s a lot of payoffs and all

(54:49) that you know yeah anyway yeah yeah i think that i have definitely um found ways to make work harder for me than it needs to be and and i’m sure you can relate through the acting work you did maybe with jade and i you know being professional models for all these years when you’re a model people instantly go oh you’re a model that’s like the easiest job ever all you do is stand there and you’re pretty and take pictures and what are you doing like that’s not hard work you know right that idea

(55:20) whether or not that’s true which it’s not true okay like it is not true almost every boyfriend i have had has treated my work that way yeah really yeah and the thing about it is you convince yourself through that interaction with people that that is the case so then like i know from from my own experience i literally have taken on jobs that are so ridiculously hard no one would even want to think about doing them modeling jobs like where i would have to go stand out in the freezing cold snow sometimes for 11 hour days smile

(55:53) and you know and keep your face on and do all the things and interact with people for that many hours with barely any food you know maybe these companies should be shamed for for for doing that to their models but even the companies that you’re working for don’t think that you’re doing work you know they don’t think right it’s work so then you’re showing you badly like right and so you’re you’re proving like oh no look how hard it is which is so interesting as opposed to like why can’t it be

(56:22) this is joyful this is fun this is my creative expression and show that to the world as as an example of how it could be well even if even on the most mild modeling job is still not easy i mean there’s a lot more that goes into it i’m not going to sit here and like preach about why modeling is difficult you know this is that’s not the point here the point is that i’ve made it harder than it needs to be on purpose just like what you’re saying like i’ve literally found ways to align myself i think maybe i’ve drawn

(56:56) those jobs to me you know with whatever frequency i’m running where i’m afraid of not showing up as worthy to the people i’m being hired by um and that’s something i i need to do a lot more thinking on so thank you for bringing that up i will i’ll journal it tonight so how can we navigate this addiction to abusive work and and maybe reframe our brain to accept or require payment for less stressful work that’s where i need to get that’s where i need to get right away yes so again looking at how

(57:30) the current is situation or framing is serving us and for me you know i identify some things but it’s also again i go back to this chaos defense that i have and it being a place for me to hide so if it’s if it’s really stressful then it’s consuming me then well i can’t do the this real creative work that’s going to actually propel my life in the direction that i want to go that’s actually going to reveal who my true voice and my true gifts because i’m too consumed with this and and survival and this

(58:06) stressful work that’s happening here so for me it’s noticing that’s how it served me up until now and then [Music] again believing in can it be different creating a new belief system around it uh looking at the beliefs and the wounds that led to the current situation and yeah deciding the route yeah deciding something different you know just like i did with my relationship i knew i was in a in a spot i knew i was learning through pain and and i believed i started believing really that it could be different and then from the

(58:46) belief that it could be different starting to align with a new vision the inquiry of like what would a new vision look like how would it change what would change for me how would how would my behaviors change what might i do differently if i had this new belief system and then starting to connect with that and and retrain the body from there to feel into this new way of being because so much of it is body memory it’s it’s that we’re used to the feeling that yeah yeah yeah i feel like that blood boiling and all the stressful

(59:24) totally totally i still sometimes i’ll check in and be like am i feeling that oh is that there okay yeah a little bit okay it’s less but yeah because it’s such a visceral thing for me i even noticed when i’m getting ready for a job and i have plenty of time that feeling of like oh gotta rush gotta like do do do you know get all these things done and and in line yeah me too and i have no reason to be rushed but i have the same physical sensations because it’s like i need the stress in order to

(59:55) maybe i think i need the stress in order to like push me through to get to the end result that i’m hoping for i don’t know that’s some weird stuff i got going on um so i love what you mentioned about how you fell in love with playing trampoline dodgeball which oh yeah super random but sounds like so much fun oh my gosh it’s the best even more random is that that’s what my kids are doing at this moment that is really crazy yeah they are serious yeah that’s hilarious how old are your kids

(1:00:28) two and three they go to a um a trampoline park here and they they play dodgeball and rock climb and all that stuff wow that’s totally good divine design there’s something going on there yeah it’s really funny that’s amazing that wasn’t on [Music] this outline wasn’t even what gave me the idea for them to go do that they just love it but go ahead mercedes sorry no problem um so through your story of how you came to love this game of trampoline dodgeball you recognize this parallel to life that

(1:00:58) is you can’t get a hit if you don’t throw the ball so the most important thing to remember is to just throw the damn ball and i love you yeah yeah uh speaking of not having compassion i was sort of a like monster on the trampoline dodgeball court like i’m like throw them off throw them back those kids they were toddlers and when they’re throwing the ball at me i’m like holy hell this hurts and i’m like out i’m i leave and i just watch them from outside the neck because i’m like this

(1:01:33) isn’t fun for me that’s so cute i think it’s because they’re toddlers they’re like wow get you in the honey good for them it’s awesome um yeah i i think i noticed that so much because it’s been a theme in my life that um i had a teacher at some point uh dallas travers who used to say don’t get it right get it going and i that’s that’s like something i need to remind myself of often um you know less and less but it’s it’s been a theme for me that it’s not going to be perfect there’s

(1:02:10) going to be so many iterations of what i’m doing it’s it’s just to start it’s to put something out there and i like that yeah and then iterate from there as opposed to just waiting and waiting until that perfect moment or that thing is perfect because it’s never going to be yeah yeah and we’re so we’re so adverse you know to risk like you’re saying or even to the risk of something not being perfect which i know i do that that we end up you know clamming up and stuck because it’s too overwhelming to

(1:02:44) move into it when we want it to be so so perfect or we’re worried about whatever risk comes with it and i don’t know we begin to be all talk yeah yeah yeah that’s exactly right that’s when when people become all talk we don’t show up i did a post today actually about that on instagram um but that type of of stagnancy is super detrimental if you’re trying to reach your highest potential during your short time here on this planet yeah exactly it’s it’s it’s like just getting started and and trusting that as

(1:03:21) you take those steps you’re gonna see more and and you’re gonna learn more and you’re gonna understand and learn what to do after that it’s you don’t have to understand everything right from the beginning yeah so i have to kind of find the balance in that though because i am a huge risk taker i’ll move at the drop of a hat all by a ticket out of the country drop of the hat especially before i had children so a lot of times for me instead of the mantra um don’t get it right get it going mm-hmm i don’t care if it’s gonna

(1:03:55) be right or not i’m just gonna go like i just i’m like let’s do it that’s beautiful that can be um [Music] born though from my impatience and my striving to that fullest potential and i’ve never looked back and thought well that was a mistake or well i should have waited toward until my next hormone cycle when i was thinking a little more clearly or anything like that but um but it can be overwhelming for those around me you know when i’m just constantly let’s just do it you know like yeah you know with us starting this

(1:04:29) podcast that was my mode you know and mercedes balanced me and well we need to get these things in a row you know thank god we didn’t air the first few things we recorded that’s so great each other really i mean you guys are so organized and it but it’s great to have that balance and to understand like which side of the pendulum you tend to swing to so that you can you know and sometimes we need to overcorrect a little bit and then come come back to middle but i really admire people who just put themselves

(1:05:04) out there like because it’s that’s been something that’s been so hard for me to offer my voice especially unsolicited um it’s been something that i’ve really had to push myself to start doing so i admire that very much and other people yeah we’re trying to move out to california and um you know every year we’re like okay next year because we want these things to happen and i’m the type of person that’s like stop talking about it pack your bags you know and um so that’s something that i’m

(1:05:34) trying to figure out what’s the right is that the mantra for this situation or do i need to find balance it’s hard to really know when you have i have such a strong personality that leans you know to the other side so that’s a big learning stage for me right now yeah i think too on this um you know show jade and i play such polarized roles like just that’s because that’s who we we are at this point in our lives but i see i see both of us pulling each other towards something in the middle which is

(1:06:06) kind of cool to like have like i said before you know recording this experience whatever it’s going to mean we’re going to be able to like see it and look back on it and yeah it’s a little science experiment almost and it’s nice that we um have learned to be fluid in that because sometimes people can just not do either then you know like one person’s wanting to do one and that person’s wanting to do another so they don’t do either you know so you got to learn to be fluid as well um yeah

(1:06:33) and it’s great that you embrace those different qualities in each other yeah it’s been a learning process so we do have a question from our magic mob which is our trip of listeners um at underscore love tiffany says how do we consciously move toward our calling when we don’t yet know what it is we might be good at or enjoy many things but how do we avoid confusion and walk a clear path towards her highest calling great question i feel there’s a bunch of different ways to to connect to it and i like to look at

(1:07:11) childhood because i feel i feel like we really do all know it’s just how much is in the way um or how much damage has caused us to disconnect from it so looking at childhood and and what really made our hearts sing when we were that age and what we really connected to can be one step that can help um i also feel that there doesn’t again going back to this idea of perfection or of of it being right or wrong it doesn’t need to be one clear like you know sign from god or whatever it may be that oh this is your exalted

(1:07:58) highest calling it can be a process of just taking steps just trying things and see what you connect to and what starts opening up for you or taking these steps towards what what’s fun for you what’s interesting and iterating from there or you know it’s it as it’s going to and also again going back to having people that can reflect back to you that see you and i think that’s that can also be important because it can reconfirm what you might already know about yourself but be scared to admit

(1:08:37) because i think also a lot of confusion comes out of just a fear of not really wanting being too scared to admit what’s true for you yeah for one reason or another so i i think reflection can help with that too yeah i think also um just noticing you you said it in other words but just noticing what lights you up and makes you feel light that’s for you whatever dulls you down is not for you and also everything that you said really lines up with um rebecca campbell’s book yeah i love it which by the way rebecca this

(1:09:14) is the second time we’ve mentioned to you you know come on the show listeners go tell her she’s um so beautiful yeah i love her work yeah so her her work you know really talks about that inner knowing and the universe knocking and that’s how you find your calling is by really listening um yeah i love that answer i think even just by asking the question it kind of like opens the door and people um discredit that like discredit the idea of even the things you’ve been talking about today here deanna of meditation

(1:09:44) and visualization and when we say those words meditation visualization or just saying out loud to the universe people go oh it’s so woo-woo and it’s so ridiculous and that’s not going to work for me but that why are you not believing in this moment like what is the script you’re running in this moment that’s that’s blocking you from being accepting to those things even being a potential in your life yeah and i love what you just said about asking questions because a lot of the work that i do with people

(1:10:15) is just knowing what questions to ask because there’s so much that you can discover about yourself like really i’m guiding people on self-discovery and that comes through inquiry and there’s so much you can learn about yourself just simply by asking questions yeah i started my journey actually i think a big influence for me was listening to deepak chopra’s affirmations and one of the things he repeats a lot or asks you to repeat to yourself a lot is not necessarily a direct or clear visualization of anything but just the

(1:10:51) question what do i want like just saying that out loud or in your head or however you’re going to do it but making that even your mantra what do i want will cause this spontaneous subconscious thing to happen in you not necessarily in this very moment but because you have that rolling around in your head and you’ve opened the door the answer will come and that’s the idea yeah definitely will come and also so important in asking questions is when the answers come to not judge them and just to go with it without thinking

(1:11:23) about it because you’re hopefully going to get answers that surprise you but i think sometimes people get an answer and they’re like oh no that’s not right or they judge it or they think like it’s it should be something different and so i think in the process of asking these questions is so important to really just be keep an open mind to whatever might come up because yeah you know it’s like that saying that your best thinking got you here and and sometimes we really need to just put aside what we think is right and ask

(1:11:55) ourselves questions and allow ourselves to be surprised by what comes up yeah i think also to that listener who asked that question the fact that she asked that question means she’s already on that path yeah and a lot of times we can question am i on the right path and the answer is always yes because you’re honest you know you’re always on the right path it’s like that circle being drawn around you you were meant to be here talking to the person you’re talking to at this moment doesn’t mean that changes

(1:12:27) don’t need to be made but where you’re at right now you’re on the right path 100 i totally agree with you and i also think that you know in my prayers a lot of times i will i will say and i will ask let me and and i think this probably originated for me with marianne williamson but let me you know see who you would have me see be where you would have maybe speak with who you would have me speak with um as a prayer to guiding me and helping me to notice the things that are going to lead me along this path of whether it’s i’m wanting to

(1:13:01) discover what my purpose is or whatever it might be that i’m asking yeah yeah and i don’t uh i don’t mean this in that contradiction in any way i actually i just want to emphasize i think the gray area between what you are both saying about give you know having this prayer and asking for um almost fate to bring you what you or the universe to bring you what you most desire what your highest potential is at the same time that can feel especially to a control freak like me that can feel too reliant on outside stuff

(1:13:43) but i think it’s actually really in alignment and close to like manifesting your own destiny which is for a control freak like me something that i tend to use those words more often like i’m i’m manifesting so i think if you can reword it almost it helps you reframe your brain if you need it if you need to reframe it in order to make it believable for you like does that make sense sure yeah i get what you’re saying too and and for the control freaks and even for the not control freaks i feel that that

(1:14:15) part of it like the the praying the meditating the visualization affirmations whatever it is that people choose to do in order to align with with what they’re wanting or what they’re you know creating uh those are those are tools for alignment and that doesn’t negate putting yourself out taking the steps taking the actions it they they work together or they’re i feel they’re meant to work together yeah and they are work i mean prayer and consciously manifesting um which are the same thing essentially uh

(1:14:53) our work i mean this is efforts you have to actually take conscious you know steps to do that so it’s important to remember and maybe that word work also still has that connotation for me of of needing to be stressful you know or abusive or hectic but um when you’re talking about meditation or something like that there is a stress factor for me to it where i have to set aside other stuff that i’ve become addicted to like stressful hectic work to literally calm my mind down and allow for some sort of creativity and

(1:15:25) quietness and all those things to happen so i don’t know there’s a lot of interesting things in there i don’t really have a question to go with it i just it’s free flow in here um so we also have a pick your poison question from our magic mob um coming from instagram the question is would you rather have a horrible job but be able to retire comfortably in 10 years or have a job you know your dream job but have to work until the day you die oh my gosh great question um yeah easy for me to answer though

(1:16:02) because i don’t ever want to retire so i i’ve always said that um yeah i don’t think i ever will retire because i want to like live my purpose which i see is my work um it’s just a matter of like what i want to work in a horrible job and retire in 10 years no um i i want to live my purpose always and i see part of my purpose as you know the work that i’m doing in the world do i want to do it in favorable terms yes of course but yeah i definitely would love love to be working and my purpose yeah yeah i feel

(1:16:41) the same and also how do we know we’re gonna live till retirement you know like so why be miserable in the meantime even just a moment yeah yeah i agree too i feel like it’s like a hard question at first but at the end of the day and i think all three of us are kind of living our bliss in a big way especially through this show i know jayden and i are um it’s not even like a tough decision at all because if i’m doing something that i’m totally enjoying i’d do it without getting paid then

(1:17:13) i want to do this till the day i die you know i don’t have any reason to quit doing like i’d rather i feel like that’s what people quit their shitty job to do or retire from their hard-working you know stressful job to do something they love totally we’re we’re meant to work in some fashion you know but on the things that we that light us up yes so there’s a few short questions that we like to ask everyone who comes on the show the first one is what advice would you give to your 25 year old self

(1:17:48) oh my um i would i would really want her to understand what her value is and to believe in that and i don’t know if that’s something that i could get her to really understand with just advice i wish i could give her the gift of embodying that um but also to like really just appreciate where you are and don’t judge yourself and don’t judge where you are and just keep moving forward and have fun have more fun with it yeah it’s so hard i have a little bracelet that says enjoy this um that i made it’s a little

(1:18:36) rose gold bar um because it is it is really hard because um we’re like when i was in my 20s i just wanted a family you know i’ve said this before and now when i have a family i’m like man sometimes i just miss that freedom you know so i’m sure that later when my kids are grown i’m gonna be like man why can’t they be little again so it’s a i need that constant reminder enjoy this for sure and like yeah for me it’s a constant process of where you are is is where where you’re meant to be yeah

(1:19:15) and yeah get as much enjoyment as you can because it’s going to change yeah all part of the journey and it’s all important even the painful stuff that’s maybe the most important stuff yeah okay next question is if you could have the whole world read one book which would it be um i love books and i love reading i this is a tough question because i feel that every person for as many people as there are we might need that many messengers or we might need that many different different interpretations which is why

(1:19:55) i think it’s so important and also so awesome that there’s you know so much access to information now and so many different teachers and so many different writers um that being said i mean atlas shrugged is really one of my most life-changing books and i feel there’s so much great commentary and and so many different lessons in it uh for something that’s um maybe could be more easily connected to by more people i love all of the jerry and esther hicks books because i feel like their messages are so full of love

(1:20:33) but so simple um and what’s your favorite from their collection that’s hard the vortex maybe um but they really i got into their books a number long time ago and they did change my life they put me got me really excited about a new path so i think for that reason because the messages are so simple and i feel they just ring so true for me and they’re so filled with love this is the really important part for me i would want people to feel that love and to know that to feel the love and to feel the connection

(1:21:11) i like to what you said about needing all these different messages all these different authors that put forward these these messages for people to gravitate to and everybody you know is going to have a different perspective when they read a book some are going to some books are going to resonate with some people and it’s not going to resonate with the next person um i find that like when i get into a subject i almost like obsess over it and then i start reading all these books on that subject it’s not only that you know some books

(1:21:46) are going to resonate more with me than others but it’s that because i’m trying to retrain my brain like i’m consciously trying to like really get this sunk in whatever it is whatever the idea is totally that i need another book coming from a different person’s perspective and different angle to like tweak those other neurons on the sidelines that didn’t get tweaked with that first book you know the longer i can i can do that and the more um content i can put in and almost like the longer i prolong it into my

(1:22:13) life i can create a habit and practice through doing that i think it’s a cool technique that i love yeah i like to i like to hit it from all angles too exactly so the last of these staple questions is if you could whisper one phrase to everyone on the planet what would it be you’re you’re loved [Music] it’s gonna be okay that’s two phrases that’s fine yeah so many people don’t feel loved mm-hmm yes oh my gosh i i think if if everyone on earth could really feel seen that or even if a lot of the people on earth could feel

(1:23:04) seen that our entire world would change drastically yeah we all have to do our part to make sure those around us feel seen this is a random segue but um you mentioned your husband you feeling like he has this very masculine presence and he really like help also allows you to feel seen and one of the one of our dream guests is john wylan weinland who speaks a lot about sexual polarity and how the feminine or the yin you know embodies this idea of um wanting to be known and seen and the masculine embodies this uh

(1:23:46) idea of wanting freedom essentially is like their base their core thing do you since you since you called out his you know masculine presence and that i just wanted to ask you if that’s something you experience in yourself as as the feminine and do you see that in your husband um on the freedom side do you see him embodying that on his end i don’t know that it’s so much the freedom for him uh he does talk a lot about the polarity and he’s super passionate about the masculine and the feminine as well and studying

(1:24:21) um yes yes i want to be seen and i think for him it’s it’s more of where his focus is like his folk where his focus is directed in that moment and that it as a man it’s not he’s not able to direct it in multiple areas at a moment so there are times where it might seem like he’s off somewhere else but that’s because his focus is off somewhere else and he’s not actually able to give like a woman’s brain which is a multitasking brain can focus on multiple things at a time so i think a lot of

(1:25:08) those things for us are fun to explore and also helpful like in the understanding in our relationship of appreciating that polarity and what makes us different but also understanding like when he’s off here he gets home he needs like this amount of time to transition because his focus has been here all at once all this amount of time and then he can’t just come in and like immediately focus on me so yeah i love that’s a super interesting topic yeah it’s just it’s something i’m definitely interested in but haven’t

(1:25:46) you know done much work or studying on i’m sure we’ll we’ll get there because we’re going to have john on the show yeah great allison armstrong is really amazing too armstrong she teaches alison armstrong yeah write that down right now yeah put it on the list um all right so where can people find you out there on the internet where can they find you and your work yes i’m at diana with love coaching on instagram and it’s d-e-a-n-n-a with love coaching and i’d love to connect with all of you any of you

(1:26:30) perfect yeah perfect well deanna thank you so much yeah amazing thank you ladies you’re very inspiring i i gotta say and you just have your [ __ ] together and you’re so lovely you don’t feel like it at all so i know we don’t you really do and your questions are so thoughtful oh thank you yeah really thoughtful questions i’m i’m very very happy to meet you guys thank you and by divine design you were totally yeah glad it happened good job jade the universe wanted it to happen thanks universe

(1:27:08) thank you um so do you know so basically what you did to send him your test you’ll just do that with this okay and then um you know like um a few days before your episode airs we’ll send you a couple like promos that we’re gonna post and just you know if you want to post them cool but we’ll send send them to you and let you know that your episode’s airing okay amazing thank you guys so much thank you this is also i wanted to say i’ve heard you guys talk about um medicine plant medicine ceremonies that

(1:27:42) you guys do there um i met my fiance through ceremony and that yeah we’ve done a lot of that work together so i thought that was amazing and divine yeah there it is how awesome yeah and that’s really cool i like hearing that yeah um well you’ll definitely be hearing a lot more about plant medicine on future episodes i love it i love that you guys are talking about it because it’s it’s such a valuable tool yeah our husband for me anyway yeah such an interesting topic that i think people um there’s a lot of fear around it of

(1:28:19) course you know but also just uh [Music] anything in the field of the unknown is where we’re headed i think there’s a fear of talking about it too because it’s illegal yeah like i know you know talking about it with a mic is even scarier yeah well hopefully it won’t be for yeah i know so silly but actually yeah maps is doing a lot of good work with all these that’s what i was going to say yeah ptsd working to get a representative from maps on the show what’s maps it’s the that you can follow them actually go to

(1:28:59) their instagram and go to maps they are like the psychedelics like our show follows them and we don’t follow many people so if you look at our followers you can find it yeah cool but they kind of give all the psychedelic news that’s out there in the world all the happenings and um keep you on on top of things when it comes to like what research is being done like in the science in um science essentially that’s kind of their yeah ammo yeah that’s great and my fiance had a really bad heady condition

(1:29:30) that he’s cured through doing psychonauts as well yeah that’s amazing i know so many little perks we don’t yet know all right cool all right do you have any questions on how to send that i think it’s all in the instructions i don’t think so yeah i don’t know if jade mentioned but don’t close your computer until it’s all the way sent on wii transfer because it’ll stop the the file send if you do yeah close it okay cool cool thank you thank you so much this is awesome such a pleasure we’ll talk to you again

(1:30:05) soon since we’ll be about the week of your episode yeah okay great have a great night you too too bye bye um my allergies are so bad i know you’re you’re over here crying what’s going on it’s just the um we had a cold front last night so it like blew in a bunch of it’s driving me nuts okay i’m like goodbye i’m an empath um so i have my class in 30 minutes so um but that’s good that’s a good amount of time yeah yeah so let’s act like she just got off yeah oh that was a helpful conversation i

(1:30:47) love that i liked her yes me too i related to her a lot i felt like she was one of our girlfriends i know i didn’t want to let her go i was like well hey when are we gonna hang out um i was gonna say before we we move on to the rest of the show i had this thought that i’ll just quickly mention because one of the books that deanna references a lot in her work is uh she mentioned it in the show actually by joe dispenza it’s called breaking the habit of being yourself this is legit one of my favorite books um

(1:31:25) it houses probably yeah probably one of the most transformative concepts i’ve ever applied to my life which is the idea of rewiring your brain like we’ve talked about in the show and overriding um the background scripts you’ve been running in your subconscious constantly but the reason i bring this up is because even the title of the book breaking the habit of being yourself it kind of seems like it flies in the face of something we often tout on this show which is the belief that you know quote unquote you are enough

(1:31:59) um but i think that actually this idea of rewiring your brain is falling in alignment with believing you are enough but but instead who you really are yeah because we if we just finish that sentence with instead of just you are enough it’s you are enough to fulfill your highest potential by seeking the tools and exercises that that will help you be a better human you know on the daily it really completes that sentence so um yeah i don’t know i i don’t know why i felt the need to say that but just because even even when deanna was

(1:32:40) mentioning that book she was saying breaking the habit of being yourself it sounds so like abrupt and you’re like well what’s wrong with me and it’s not that anything’s wrong it’s not that anything it’s not that you’re not enough is the point i’m trying to get across here it’s that you are more than enough you’re literally an infinite amazing being that has all the potential in the world you just need to enact the practices um and and instill those into your life so that you

(1:33:07) can maximize your potential like we talked about in the show so kind of repetitive maybe to what we’ve already talked about but i don’t know like i was saying earlier it’s good to hear it from a bunch of different ways yeah it gets through your skull um yeah the ideas that that deanna put forward in her writing are you know basically a guide to accomplish just that so that said i hope you enjoyed listening to our little combo with her today and i hope you’ll decide for yourself where and how you can apply this

(1:33:39) magic into your life yeah speaking of magic let’s get into our magic tricks um my magic trick today is pressure valves if you have a slow cooker you know what i’m talking about [Laughter] what they’ll burn you it’ll burn you so um you know we all have pressure valves in a sense that when we’re you know just filled up with stress or just filled up with some emotion that we’re not wanting to deal with or we’re just you know overflowing with whatever you know where life is throwing at us you know

(1:34:22) too much on our shoulders whatever you know you’re going through we tend to have a pressure valve that relieves us of all that pressure which is um could be shopping could be distracting ourselves with social media it could be alcohol could be you know even things that are beneficial at other times and you know for me it’s uh usually distracting myself with social media or eating a lot of chocolate um it’s good for the nerves so um yeah so my magic trick this week is to just recognize take note of what your pressure valve is

(1:35:04) throughout this next week when you’re starting to feel overwhelmed starting to feel like you need a release what do you go to and i would challenge you or invite you to instead of getting on that app or on that shopping site or making yourself a cocktail do something that helps you to sit with all of your thoughts and all of those emotions stirring around and releases them in a different way like meditation yoga go for a a nice walk or or even a jog um something that you know is beneficial and helps you to grow and ponder

(1:35:46) you know your situation and how it can um change for the better and you know it’s important to realize that these things that come up in you they’re less accessible when you’re not triggered so it’s a catalyst for insight and for self-awareness and if you’re choosing to listen to the show then it means you’re most likely trying and willing to grow and also most likely and oh you know open to trying things like this so you know use use those triggers for self-awareness and yeah recognize your pressure valves in

(1:36:25) this next week i like that mercedes what do you got my magic trick sounds a lot easier than it actually is what i want you to do is try to remember to look for whatever background script you’re running the next time you’re in a state of mind that you don’t like for example if you’re sitting in traffic and you’re experiencing road rage which i have been often known to do i want you to attempt to consciously recognize the emotion you’re experiencing and then remember the science we’ve mentioned in this episode

(1:37:06) pull yourself out of your emotion for a moment which that’s where it’s way harder to do than it sounds like and determine what words or phrases you’re repeating in the back of your mind i know if you’re anything like me you’re you’ll find a whole slew of negative words and phrases you’ve been unconsciously repeating to yourself um seriously i’m so bad with that so now that you’ve recognized how you are unconsciously causing the negative emotions your experiences you experiencing

(1:37:39) you can consciously change the script you’re running to something something more positive and by the way even if this new script feels like a lie like the positive script if it feels like ridiculous and feels like a lie because you’re still feeling the residual emotions from your previous negative script just keep repeating it yeah yeah it’s rewiring it’s rewiring doing its work yeah and it takes time to rewire so keep repeating it it’s easy to lose focus on it um and fall you know back into the negative background script

(1:38:12) so if you do lose focus once you notice that you’ve lost focus just pick it back up where you left off last um and by the way if this sounds a little bit ridiculous to you like i was saying earlier when we were talking to deanna if these ideas and tools sound ridiculous to you ask yourself what script you’re running right now as you’re listening to these words like what is the script you’re running that’s causing you to be unaccepting and closed off to something that might actually help you um it’s a good point there’s probably

(1:38:48) something there that needs to be adjusted as well yeah why are you opposing something positive yeah i mean we’re just trying to help you bud i have something on my fridge that says um like you know the things that you can think instead so it’s like i have to go to the grocery store instead i have money for groceries ugh so many dishes i got to eat a meal with my family today um so much laundry i have freaking clothes you know like oh this traffic i’m in a vehicle that i can afford and this is where i’m meant

(1:39:30) to be i’m not having to take the bus or a walk because i’m not you know carlos so there’s always a way you can oh yeah think positive i think always yeah and just just cultivating that positiveness is going to turn around your day i think that’s [ __ ] fantastic i like that list i need one like on my tattooed on my arm i think um yeah but the same same idea once i started doing that type of twisting of my thoughts you know noticing them and then changing and rewiring or like trying to consciously reframe or redesign the background

(1:40:09) scripts i was running in my mind those those i guess that um what do i want to say i saw things change dramatically of course don’t get me wrong i often fell right back into my old ways and i allowed my subconscious to run the show a lot of the time but little by little i’ve gotten way better at recognizing when i’ve fallen off um and when i’ve fallen back into an old script and i become quicker and more agile at refocusing and reclaiming my thoughts so that i can actually over time create these new patterns with new

(1:40:56) scripts and you know the scripts i want to run thereby allowing me to live my life live the life i want to live so it works people i’m telling you no [ __ ] give it a try yep um i love that something i’ve tried to live by so thank you yeah all right you guys thank you so much for listening we hope that you found that conversation with diana as you know helpful and light giving as we did we hope it was a breath of fresh air today if so if you feel that way please share it with your friends and family further

(1:41:35) spreading the sunshine because we just want this to you know blow up and and make a positive impact in people’s lives and remember you can go to our instagram page at the magic hour to ask us or any of our future guests a question talk to you guys next week until then be a light do that paragraph one more time what do you want me to change just the blow up part felt unhumble for some reason okay okay you guys thanks so much for tuning in we hope you found this conversation with deanna as refreshing and light-giving as we did

(1:42:19) if so please share it with your friends and family this would mean so much to us and remember also that you can go to our instagram page at the magic hour to ask us or any of our future guests that question talk to you guys next week until then be a light thank you to deanna smith for being on our show today and to at rayton royal for our intro jam and of course to adam from red fox audio for producing the show stay magical friends okay cool did you feel like my i feel like my magic trick was okay right he says to cut out yeah whenever

(1:42:55) you stumbled he can just yeah i picked it back up with that one yeah no i liked it a lot um we don’t we got all the intro we’re good on that so we can stop this [Music] yeah okay i am stopping